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1 hour ago, China said:

Spanish Navy ship sent out to draw up maps loses its way

 

A Spanish Navy ship tasked with updating nautical charts to make navigation safer, has itself gotten stranded near the island of Ibiza in the Mediterranean.

 

The vessel Malaspina was exploring an area of shallows to the west of the island and got stuck on one of them.

 

Rescue teams have been sent to help remove the vessel from the ground, the Navy said in a statement.

 

The Malaspina, built in 1975 and refurbished in 2007, has sailed nearly 290,000km collecting undersea topography data along the Spanish coast.

 

It is named after 18th-century Royal Navy Brigadier Alejandro Malaspina, famous for leading the largest scientific expedition around the globe at the time.

 

The name can also be translated into English as 'having a bad feeling'.

 

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The guy who ate a $120,000 banana in an art museum says he was just hungry

 

Installations by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan are famously provocative, but his signature work — a banana taped to a wall — fell prey to a basic impulse: the hunger it provoked in a South Korean college student.

 

The art in question, Comedian, is a (frequently replaced) duct-taped banana that is meant to evoke everything from Charlie Chaplin's slapstick comedy to the fruit's status as an emblem of global trade.

 

It spoke to Noh Huyn-soo in simpler terms, reminding him that he had skipped breakfast that morning. So as his visit to Seoul's Leeum Museum of Art stretched past noon late last week, Noh seized the yellow fruit and ate it, ignoring the alarmed cry of a museum staffer.

 

It took Noh around 1 minute to yank the banana and eat it. When he was done, he reattached the peel to its spot on the wall.

 

Installations by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan are famously provocative, but his signature work — a banana taped to a wall — fell prey to a basic impulse: the hunger it provoked in a South Korean college student.

 

The art in question, Comedian, is a (frequently replaced) duct-taped banana that is meant to evoke everything from Charlie Chaplin's slapstick comedy to the fruit's status as an emblem of global trade.

 

It spoke to Noh Huyn-soo in simpler terms, reminding him that he had skipped breakfast that morning. So as his visit to Seoul's Leeum Museum of Art stretched past noon late last week, Noh seized the yellow fruit and ate it, ignoring the alarmed cry of a museum staffer.

 

It took Noh around 1 minute to yank the banana and eat it. When he was done, he reattached the peel to its spot on the wall.

 

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Hawaii Tourist Drove Van Into Harbor Because GPS Said To

 

Hawaii News Now reports that while on the way to enjoy a manta ray excursion, a tourist who clearly wasn’t paying attention to where she was going followed her GPS all the way into the Honokohau Small Boat Harbor in Kailua-Kona. A video taken by a witness shows what appears to be a Dodge Caravan slowly sliding into the water as the passenger sits there confused about what to do.

 

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No croaks: French police intervene in neighbours’ frog row

 

A culture war has broken out in a small village in the Savoie region of the northern Alps where three large frogs are threatened with being silenced.

 

In the latest example of a conflict of rights between town and country, nature and neighbour, 92-year-old Colette Ferry opened her door in the small village of Frontenex – population about 1,800 – to two gendarmes recently who said they would be taking away three amphibians that had taken up residence in her garden pond.

 

The officers said they were responding to a complaint by a neighbour unable to sleep because of the loud croaking they were making at all hours.

 

Ferry told them that while the fish in the pond were hers, the frogs were squatting. “They’re in and out of the water playing with my fish. It’s my entertainment,” she told a local radio station.

 

“A man came here and was really yelling at me, saying he could not sleep and he had to work … but I did not expect the gendarmes. Especially not for frogs! But there’s always someone ready to complain about someone else,” she added.

 

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On 5/4/2023 at 5:38 PM, China said:

Hawaii Tourist Drove Van Into Harbor Because GPS Said To

 

Hawaii News Now reports that while on the way to enjoy a manta ray excursion, a tourist who clearly wasn’t paying attention to where she was going followed her GPS all the way into the Honokohau Small Boat Harbor in Kailua-Kona. A video taken by a witness shows what appears to be a Dodge Caravan slowly sliding into the water as the passenger sits there confused about what to do.

 

aaee782742c3ba8f3d57999999dedb93.jpg

 

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Dangerous rabbit has bitten at least 2 Iowa residents

 

One Perry resident tells KCCI she was one of two people bitten by a rabbit last Friday.

 

Ramona Rustan said the rabbit jumped up and bit her and then hopped over to the neighbors' house.

 

"It came around to her car and wouldn't let her out of her car," Rustan said.

 

She called police.

 

"The police department says it's been a rabbit that has been around terrorizing people," Rustan said.

 

The Perry police gave KCCI a call report that details a 13-year-old girl who was also bitten by the rabbit.

 

The 13-year-old will be getting a rabies shot. Rustan, who says she is a nurse, is not planning on getting a rabies shot.

 

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Time to break out the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch...

 

 

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US police running to voice crying for help surprised by sad goat

 

Police officers in Oklahoma responding to what they thought was a man crying for help got a surprise on reaching the scene: the anguished cries they heard on a farm near Enid were actually those of a goat.

 

In bodycam footage released by the Enid police department, officer David Sneed told his colleague, Neal Storey: “That’s a person.”

 

Sneed and Storey ran toward what appeared to be a voice crying for help. Then they realized their error.

 

“That’s a goat,” Storey said.

 

“That’s a goat?” Sneed replied.

 

The officers approached the farm owner. He told them the goat had been separated from a friend and was very upset.

 

“I’m sitting here, and I keep thinking I hear someone yell, ‘Help!’” Storey said, the goat continuing to cry in the background.

 

“I’m sitting out here in our back yard, and I hear it, but I don’t know if it’s an animal or a person,” Sneed said, laughing. “But sure enough we were walking over here, and I’m like, ‘That’s a person!’”

 

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Driver tried to switch places with his dog on DUI stop in Colorado town, police say

 

A 28-year-old driver found himself in the doghouse after he attempted to switch places with his pup when he got pulled over on suspicion of DUI on Saturday night in a southeastern Colorado town.

 

A Springfield Police officer conducted a traffic stop on a driver who was going 52 mph in a 30 mph zone about 11:30 p.m. Saturday near West 7th Avenue and Main Street in the Town of Springfield, according to police.

 

The driver attempted to switch places with his dog, which was in the passenger seat of the Dodge Challenger – a process that the officer watched as he walked toward the car, police said.

 

The suspect – who had clear signs of intoxication, according to police – got out of the passenger side of the car and told the officer that he wasn't the one driving. When the officer asked whether he'd been drinking, he tried to run away, police said.

 

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Police catch DUI driver with three-wheeled sedan in Riverside County

 

A DUI driver with a three-wheeled vehicle was caught cruising down a Murrieta neighborhood on Monday.

 

An officer was patrolling the Murrieta Hot Springs neighborhood when he noticed a “very unique Toyota Camry driving near him,” police said.

 

The suspect’s large sedan was seen coasting on three wheels only. A picture from the scene shows the vehicle with severe front-end damage. The front passenger-side tire was missing, along with the entire front bumper, exposing the vehicle’s inner parts.

 

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Kobe man arrested after threatening driving school with 1,500 origami cranes

 

In the long history of the Japanese paper-folding art known as origami, there is no more of an iconic shape than that of the magestic crane. It became an international symbol of peace due to the famous story of Hiroshima atomic bombing victim Sadako Sasaki who attempted to fold 1,000 of them in the belief that doing so would grant a wish.

 

With such a bittersweet backstory and endearing message of recovering from the ravages of war and disaster, it’s hard to imagine any way for someone to weaponize these paper birds… but someone has.

 

On 11 May Hyogo Prefectural Police in Kobe City arrested a 22-year-old man for sending 15 threatening letters and one case containing roughly 1,500 origami cranes to his former driving school.

 

The incidents occurred between 27 October of last year and 9 April this year, in which envelopes with a 39-year-old employee’s name on it were placed in the school’s mailbox. The letters reportedly had messages such as “Die!” and “Quit your job now!” written on them. The paper cranes, however, were simply paper cranes.

 

Police used surveillance video to track the suspect down and found that he was a former student of the driving school who had failed to get his truck driver’s license last year. After his arrest, the man admitted to the crime and said that he had gotten “angry at their poor teaching style.” When asked the million-dollar question of what was up with the cranes, he told police that folding them helped to calm him down.

 

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Utrecht student assoc. under fire for ring toss game involving stripper's anus

 

The Utrechtsch Studenten Corps (USC) is under fire for a photo circulating on social media showing members playing “ring toss” with the goal of getting a ring over a bottle held in a stripper’s anus, De Telegraaf reports.

 

Students confirmed the authenticity of the photo to RTV Utrecht. Rector Hiddo Laane of the USC told the Telegraaf that he “strongly disapproves” of the behavior and has reported the incident to the relevant authorities. The person responsible has received an “appropriate sanction,” he said.

 

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Raccoon politely orders a doughnut from a Dunkin’ drive-thru ‘like a regular’

 

The Ben Affleck of the animal world has made itself known.

 

On May 7, TikTok user Samantha Jane Guptill (@samguptuppy) shared a short video taken in line at a Florida-area Dunkin’ to her account that went mega-viral. In the clip, which has amassed over 21 million views and 4 million likes, Guptill can be heard narrating the drive-thru adventures of what may be America’s most polite raccoon.

 

“What in the world? My dude. He wants some Dunkin’ doughnuts,” Guptill says, waiting in line with an unidentified second person who can be heard giggling off camera. After watching the raccoon approach the takeout window, the driver pulls forward a bit to get a closer look. “Don’t hit him, don’t hit him!”

 

The raccoon waits patiently at the window. He’s probably not late for work.

 

“What is he doing? Are they gonna give him a doughnut?” Guptill continues while watching a Dunkin’ worker move around behind the drive-thru window. “Oh they’re gonna give him a doughnut? Oh, my God! Do it. Throw him the doughnut.”

 

What Guptill — and probably anyone viewing the video she took — was not expecting was the way the doughnut exchange went down between the raccoon and the Dunkin’ worker.

 

Using its uber-dexterous fingers, the raccoon politely receives what appears to be a delicious-looking vanilla-frosted doughnut in its paws before placing it in its mouth, getting on all fours, and scurrying away into a nearby bush, likely to enjoy the treat in peace.

 

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“Oh, my God,” Guptill repeats as everyone chortles at the adorably strange sight.

 

Dunkin’ did not immediately respond to TODAY.com’s request for comment on its procyonid patron. Neither did Guptill.

 

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On 5/11/2023 at 10:48 PM, China said:

US police running to voice crying for help surprised by sad goat

 

Police officers in Oklahoma responding to what they thought was a man crying for help got a surprise on reaching the scene: the anguished cries they heard on a farm near Enid were actually those of a goat.

 

In bodycam footage released by the Enid police department, officer David Sneed told his colleague, Neal Storey: “That’s a person.”

 

Sneed and Storey ran toward what appeared to be a voice crying for help. Then they realized their error.

 

“That’s a goat,” Storey said.

 

“That’s a goat?” Sneed replied.

 

The officers approached the farm owner. He told them the goat had been separated from a friend and was very upset.

 

“I’m sitting here, and I keep thinking I hear someone yell, ‘Help!’” Storey said, the goat continuing to cry in the background.

 

“I’m sitting out here in our back yard, and I hear it, but I don’t know if it’s an animal or a person,” Sneed said, laughing. “But sure enough we were walking over here, and I’m like, ‘That’s a person!’”

 

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Everyone should watch this goat video.  

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Apparently people in Missouri are so stupid you have to tell them this:

 

Missouri Police Warn Citizens Not to Wrestle Bear

 

If you wrestle a bear in Missouri, the consequences could be even worse than getting mauled half-to-death a la Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant. That's right, scuffle with a bear in the Show-Me State and you could be grappling with a misdemeanor.

 

The Salem Police Department on the edge of the Mark Twain National Forest reminded everyone of that actual state law on the books yesterday when a Salem resident spotted a black bear near Rolla Road on the northern edge of town.

 

The department wrote on Facebook, "If you see or encounter a bear please notify the Police Department, do not try and feed or interact with the bear."

 

And by "interact" with the bear, the Salem police mean especially not to wrestle (or for that matter even wrastle) the creature.

 

Not only is wrestling a bear that can weigh as much as 660 pounds a bad idea on its own merits, it's also expressly forbidden by law.

 

In fact, you'll be breaking Missouri's bear wrestling law if you do any of the following: wrestle a bear; permit bear wrestling on premises under your control; promote, conduct, or stage bear wrestling; advertise bear wrestling; collect admissions for bear wrestling; purchase, sell or possess a bear which you know will be used for bear wrestling; train a bear for bear wrestling; subject a bear to surgical alteration for bear wrestling.

 

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Scantily clad 'witches' caught munching on deer carcass in bizarre security cam footage

 

A nurse and nature lover in Canada reportedly captured footage of what she said appeared to be "two witches holding a carcass-eating ritual" with a camera she set up near her home.

 

"I don’t know what the heck was up with that," Corinea Stanhope, 36, of Powell River, British Columbia, told Kennedy News. "It really freaked us out, it’s not something you see every day."

 

After coming across a deer carcass in a garden on her property, Stanhope said she set up the camera to surveil any animals that might take interest in the dead deer.

 

"I came the next day, and grandpa said he'd got naked people on the camera, and I said, 'No, you didn't. Bulls---.' So, he showed me," she said.

 

Stanhope noted to the outlet that the apparent carcass-eaters emerged about 10 minutes after sunset, looking "disheveled" and like they were wearing wigs.

 

"You can't really tell from the photos, but the hoof was brought right up to her mouth," she said. "I don't know if she was kissing it, smelling or eating it, but to touch a decaying carcass like that makes me feel sick – the amount of bacteria that must have been on there."

 

Witches1.jpg?ve=1&tl=1

 

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RI man accused of breaking into homes to steal sex toys

 

A Tiverton man is facing four felony charges after police say he admitted to breaking into homes to steal sex toys to give as a birthday gift.

 

Nadrowski was arrested and reportedly told police he had peered into the home on Power Street. He said he was “attempting to buy weed,” but then realized he was at the wrong location when he was confronted by the homeowner.

 

Detectives asked Nadrowski about three other breaking-and-entering incidents from the week prior. According to a supplemental police narrative obtained by Target 12, Nadrowski admitted to entering a home on Armstrong Street on May 27 and said he stole a “sex toy” from a bedroom.

 

When questioned further, Nadrowski also told police he broke into a home on Furnace Street and stole two more sex toys from separate bedrooms.

 

Nadrowski told police he didn’t steal any items of value from the residences, only women’s sex toys he said he intended to give to someone as a birthday gift.

 

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On 2/19/2023 at 12:19 PM, China said:

Prominent creationist Ken Ham links men’s nipples to nursing dinosaurs

 

Speaking to a crowd at the Semi-Annual Meeting of Young Earth Creationists, Flat Earthers, and Crystal Coke Revivalists (YEAFECCR), noted Young Earth Creationist Ken Ham disclosed new research that shows men’s nipples were used to suckle dinosaurs.

 

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On 2/19/2023 at 2:25 PM, GhostofSparta said:

How the **** do you mock these people if they sincerely believe bat**** crazy things like this? Like, if this was an Onion article I would think "Yeah, that's a little lazy, but I guess they deserve to blow off some steam and phone it in once in a while too," but no.

 

"The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense" -Mark Twain

 

Flat-earthers are overconfident about their own scientific knowledge but exhibit low scientific literacy, study finds

 

A cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect appears to be highly prevalent among people who believe the Earth is flat (flat-earthers), according to new research published in Public Understanding of Science. This means that flat-earthers tend to have lower levels of scientific literacy while also being more overconfident in their own scientific knowledge. In other words, they think they know a lot about science even though their actual knowledge is limited.

 

“Both my co-authors and I are very interested in topics related to scientific culture,” said study author José Luis Arroyo Barrigüete, a professor at Comillas Pontifical University. “This is a line of research we have been working on for several years. In this regard, one of the most surprising beliefs we have encountered is that of flat-earth belief. The issue is that, contrary to what one might think, there are more people than would be reasonable with doubts about the shape of the earth.”

 

“In fact, there are YouTubers who have cemented their activity by posting videos about flat earth theories. This fascinated us, and we decided to investigate it. It is often thought that a flat-earther is someone with a low level of scientific culture. This is true, but in our research, we observed that there is a second factor that is also necessary to believe in a flat earth: high overconfidence in one’s scientific knowledge.”

 

“In other words, on average (and with all the exceptions that can surely be found), a flat-earther is someone who will have a low level of scientific culture but who nonetheless considers him/herself as someone with a high level of scientific knowledge.”

 

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Taste the rainbow!

 

Minnesota Man Jailed Following Skittles Assault

 

A Minnesota man is behind bars following an unprovoked Skittles attack on restaurant patrons and employees, police report.

 

Investigators say that Tristan Stetina, 19, walked into a Mankato eatery Friday afternoon and “began throwing Skittles at employees and customers.”

 

A woman identified as “Victim 1” in a court filing told police that she was “hit in the back with a Skittle which caused a stinging pain.”

 

Upon arriving at the restaurant, a cop “noticed Skittles all over the gound and a bag of Skittles near the garbage.” The suspect, “Victim 1” told police, had a “heart shaped tattoo under his eye and another tattoo on the side of his face.”

 

tristanstetina23.jpg

 

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I milked 30 pigs a day for their semen but it's left me with crippling injuries to BOTH my wrists - now I can't work and I want compensation

 

A woman whose job it was to 'milk' pigs for their semen says a crippling wrist injury she suffered on the job has left her unable to work.

 

Maxine, 31, had a job she loved in animal welfare which paid well, but unfortunately it caused long-term injuries.

 

She started her job collecting pig semen for breeding top quality pork at the age of 18, but by 21 it had caused serious injuries in both her wrists.

 

Ten years later, she is still suffering from ongoing pain, which has required major surgery and prevented her from working in other fields such as floristry, dry cleaning and demolition. 

 

'I enjoyed working at the farm, the actual semen collection stuff isn't all that exciting,' she told Daily Mail Australia.

 

'The wrist injury was caused by having to hold the penis still as the pigs move around quite a lot. 

 

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So jacking off pigs is a stepping stone job to work in demolition?

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1864 letter recounts Confederate soldier’s masturbation addiction

 

An 1864 letter sent by Confederate Lt. William Dandridge Pitts to assess the wellbeing of his brother Charles is up for auction — and its contents are brimming with remarkably different strokes.

 

In the handwritten note, Pitts, an officer who served in the 40th Virginia Infantry until his resignation in late 1862, asks the superintendent of the Staunton-based Western Lunatic Asylum, where Charles was being kept as an inmate, to keep him apprised of his brother’s condition.

 

Once a private in the same outfit as his brother, Charles was discharged from the Confederate Army shortly after the outset of the Civil War due to an unspecified “illness,” according to documentation reviewed by Live Auctioneers.

 

At least part of that affliction, based on the professional opinion of Charles’ pre-asylum physician and the accounts of numerous soldiers who served alongside him, was chronic masturbation.

 

“I have had some conversation with the physician who attended my brother previous to his going to the asylum,” Lt. Pitts wrote to the superintendent, “and he advises me to inform you of the fact, that he had learned from some of my brother’s associates, who were in [military] camp with him, that he was addicted to masturbation, while in camp. He (the physician) is also persuaded of this fact from the conversations he has had with my brother.”

 

The poor soldiers forced to bear witness to Charles’ ailment were no doubt scarred, their visages imprinted with thousand-yard stares well before ever being baptized in the fires of armed conflict.

 

To this day, desperate cries of “It’s Johnny Reb, not Johnny Rub!” echo throughout the South, particularly in Pitts’ home state of Virginia, which labels itself as “for lovers” instead of for onanism.

 

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Woman who ‘married a ghost’ ditches ‘husband’ after less than a year

 

A singer who claimed to have married the ghost of a Victorian soldier says she’s getting divorced. 

 

Brocarde, 40, of Oxfordshire, said she met the spirit of Edwardo one stormy night in 2021, when he burst into her bedroom and immediately professed his love for her. 

 

They supposedly then became inseparable, with the ghost even sending her cryptic messages in the shower. 

 

But it didn’t take long before cracks began to appear in their otherworldly relationship. 

 

The singer also claimed the spirit often took issue with her discussing their relationship publicly, though this didn’t keep her from appearing on This Morning and posting the wedding ceremony on Instagram. 

 

After the marriage was officiated, Brocarde also complained they’d fallen out over Edwardo getting too drunk during their honeymoon in Wales.

 

In the months since, she claims the spirit had become increasingly ‘possessive’.

 

His apparent fascination with Marilyn Monroe appears to proven a further obstacle to marital bliss, after Brocarde claims to have spotted the spirit of the late Hollywood actress at the chapel.

 

She told Wales Online he would routinely disappear and then emerge days later smelling of Chanel No. 5 – Ms Monroe’s favourite perfume. 

 

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0c0d80813acbd39769bd7a9c05401deb7a2600d3

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8 hours ago, China said:

Woman who ‘married a ghost’ ditches ‘husband’ after less than a year

 

A singer who claimed to have married the ghost of a Victorian soldier says she’s getting divorced. 

 

Brocarde, 40, of Oxfordshire, said she met the spirit of Edwardo one stormy night in 2021, when he burst into her bedroom and immediately professed his love for her. 

 

They supposedly then became inseparable, with the ghost even sending her cryptic messages in the shower. 

 

But it didn’t take long before cracks began to appear in their otherworldly relationship. 

 

The singer also claimed the spirit often took issue with her discussing their relationship publicly, though this didn’t keep her from appearing on This Morning and posting the wedding ceremony on Instagram. 

 

After the marriage was officiated, Brocarde also complained they’d fallen out over Edwardo getting too drunk during their honeymoon in Wales.

 

In the months since, she claims the spirit had become increasingly ‘possessive’.

 

His apparent fascination with Marilyn Monroe appears to proven a further obstacle to marital bliss, after Brocarde claims to have spotted the spirit of the late Hollywood actress at the chapel.

 

She told Wales Online he would routinely disappear and then emerge days later smelling of Chanel No. 5 – Ms Monroe’s favourite perfume. 

 

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0c0d80813acbd39769bd7a9c05401deb7a2600d3

Damn it.  You had to remind me that Sub Rosa exists, didn't you?  Take my angry upvote.

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Pilot angry over having flight diverted draws ‘penis pattern’ in the sky — airline claims it was an accident

 

A pilot for Lufthansa frustrated with air traffic controllers who diverted his flight decided to get creative in the skies, using his artistic interpretation of the male member as a form of protest, The New York Post reported.

 

The flight bound for the Sicilian city of Catania was told it could not land at Fontanarossa airport, and instead must land on the island of Malta.

 

 

 

During his diverted trip, the pilot flew in a way that created the outline of the male genitalia on the Flight Radar.

 

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On 6/7/2023 at 3:51 PM, China said:

RI man accused of breaking into homes to steal sex toys

 

A Tiverton man is facing four felony charges after police say he admitted to breaking into homes to steal sex toys to give as a birthday gift.

 

Nadrowski was arrested and reportedly told police he had peered into the home on Power Street. He said he was “attempting to buy weed,” but then realized he was at the wrong location when he was confronted by the homeowner.

 

Detectives asked Nadrowski about three other breaking-and-entering incidents from the week prior. According to a supplemental police narrative obtained by Target 12, Nadrowski admitted to entering a home on Armstrong Street on May 27 and said he stole a “sex toy” from a bedroom.

 

When questioned further, Nadrowski also told police he broke into a home on Furnace Street and stole two more sex toys from separate bedrooms.

 

Nadrowski told police he didn’t steal any items of value from the residences, only women’s sex toys he said he intended to give to someone as a birthday gift.

 

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He's at it again:

 

Suspected sex toy thief nabbed again for allegedly peeping into woman’s window

 

A Tiverton man who police say admitted to breaking into homes in Providence earlier this summer to steal sex toys has been arrested again.

 

A police report obtained by Target 12 shows police in East Providence responded to an apartment complex on July 21 after a 28-year-old woman reported seeing a suspicious man outside her apartment sometime after 9 p.m.

 

The woman told police she was changing her daughter’s diaper when she saw a man standing outside her daughter’s bedroom window.

 

She says she screamed and before the man ran, he peered into the window one more time, according to the report.

 

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