PleaseBlitz Posted February 14, 2023 Share Posted February 14, 2023 Never seen chicken roping, but you can drink and throw axes in DC now. https://experiencekraken.com/locations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted February 14, 2023 Share Posted February 14, 2023 Grey Bruce man faces several charges for impaired driving Ontario Provincial Police in Grey Bruce have charged a driver for several offences after conducting a Reduce Impaired Driving Everywhere (RIDE) program. On Feb. 10 at just before 5:30 p.m. ET, a driver entered the RIDE program on Grey Road 17 in the Township of Georgian Bluffs and officers detected signs of impairment. The officer also saw open liquor readily available within the vehicle, police said. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 Prominent creationist Ken Ham links men’s nipples to nursing dinosaurs Speaking to a crowd at the Semi-Annual Meeting of Young Earth Creationists, Flat Earthers, and Crystal Coke Revivalists (YEAFECCR), noted Young Earth Creationist Ken Ham disclosed new research that shows men’s nipples were used to suckle dinosaurs. For three hours, thirty-three minutes, and fifteen seconds Ham rocked the alternative scientific conference in his lecture titled, The Use and Abuse of Male Nippleage. New evidence conclusively reveals that the period between the expulsion from the Garden of Eden to Noah’s Flood was the high water point in the agricultural utilization of the male nipple. “Lame-stream science says the genetic default setting for men and women is to have the same physical traits unless there is some selection pressure for the aforementioned trait to become uncoupled. Thus, men have nipples because there isn’t a reason not to have them,” explained Ham. “This is pure poppy****. Instead of pie-in-the-sky theories, I have substantial faith-based evidence for dinosaur-on-man interaction vis-à-vis the noble nipple.” The talk had to be temporarily suspended due to the myriad of questions concerning what type of pie there was in the sky. Blueberry? Apple? And the controversy deepened, and passions became inflamed when the topic of Boston cream pie took center stage. Fisticuffs exploded when one group of dictionary definition pie-ists hammered home the fact that Boston cream pie is, in fact, cake. Once the police satisfactorily calmed the crowd down, Ham continued his talk. The audience was taken on an impressive tour of cutting-edge spectral evidence, strongly held feelings, and possibly more than one brush the doctor had with peyote. “It was my journey through the wastes in the American state of New Mexico where my breakthrough occurred. I’m forever grateful to that talking Yucca cactus,” he stated. During the question and answer period, Ham answered pressing questions like “Did men offer nipple milk to theropods and sauropods?” Click on the link for more 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 38 minutes ago, China said: faith-based evidence 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostofSparta Posted February 19, 2023 Share Posted February 19, 2023 1 hour ago, China said: Prominent creationist Ken Ham links men’s nipples to nursing dinosaurs How the **** do you mock these people if they sincerely believe bat**** crazy things like this? Like, if this was an Onion article I would think "Yeah, that's a little lazy, but I guess they deserve to blow off some steam and phone it in once in a while too," but no. "The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense" -Mark Twain 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted February 20, 2023 Share Posted February 20, 2023 eBay: Potentially Cursed FLOWBEE Haircutting System USED Early 21st Century Technology Item description from the seller "Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this Flowbee in no way endorses a belief in the occult." - Michael Jackson I really don't want to go into details, but I feel it's best to be as transparent as possible and warn the future buyer of the potential consequences of this purchase. As you can see from the photos, this Flowbee Hairchopping System was purchased directly from Flowbee International, shipped from Corpus Cristi, TX to my parents' (God rest their souls) home in Tampa, Florida around about April of 2004. That was a crazy month: "Mean Girls" hit the silver screen. Eli Manning was happily drafted by the San Diego Chargers. The world was in love with Shania Twain and something was happening in the Middle East. Anyways, my parents loved this Flowbee. Over the course of the rest of their lives, it saved them tens of dollars a month on haircuts! But at what cost? Again, I really don't want to go into details here but basically from the moment this Flowbee entered their homes, it was a downhill spiral...no, downward spiral. Well, both could technically apply to spirals I suppose. Anyways, just a series of alternating downward/downhill spirals of financial despair and health problems. So you might be reading this and be thinking that this *could* be all just a coincidence. Can the Flowbee truly be the cause of all of this misfortune? Although the knowns to the unknowns aren't truly known, I can tell you this much: from the moment I inherited this Flowbee, the cycle of despair once again re-cycled! My weight skyrocketed. My memory began to decline. I started watching too way many shows with the word "Shore" in the title. I got covid. I got laid off from a nearly 2-decade long sales career for a Fortune 200 waste hauling company that has those green dumpsters and throws a million dollars at a golf tournament in the desert every year and then you wonder why your Fuel Surcharge went up last month. I got covid again. Betty White died. I inventoried all the parts on the Flowbee. It's all there. I plugged it in and turned it on and it went "WHEEEREREREREERRREEREEEEERERGRHERRRR". There's even this weird looking GE multi-plug that looks like it might have caught fire at one time. Probably don't want to use it, but it was in the box so you're getting it. Now to address the elephant in the room. Why would you want to buy a potentially (but more than likely) cursed Flowbee? Why not buy some other used Flowbee and go about enjoying your life, free from the shackles (that could be and likely really are) attached to owning *this* particular used Flowbee Hairsomething System? Maybe you're a thrillseeker? Maybe you need the perfect gift for someone that wronged you - like that Area Sales Manager that laid you off after nearly two decades of success. I made those shareholders millions of dollars. Increased EBIT whenever possible when securing contract renewals. Stuck to the scripts and protected price increases and ridiculous fees. Guess there's no place for an old fat guy in the trash business, eh? I think I can say that now since the 2-year "stfu or else" terms of my better-than-nothing severance package have been fulfilled. Click on the link for the rest 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted February 26, 2023 Share Posted February 26, 2023 On 1/7/2023 at 1:31 AM, China said: TOWN CANCELS FIREWORKS FOR MASTURBATING WALRUS WHICH THANKED THEM BY LEAVING A town in the UK went out of its way to make a walrus comfortable, but they may have made it far too comfortable. Scarborough, England got a special visitor Friday in the form of a bull walrus named Thor. Walruses aren’t a common sight on the British Isles, so his presence drew thousands of eager onlookers and wildlife aficionados. Thor made sure to, uh, “perform” for them. *Cue “Sabre Dance” by Aram Khachaturian* There was also cause for concern because Thor decided to waddle ashore just before New Year’s Eve when Scarborough was scheduled to put on a fireworks display. He had fallen asleep in the harbor after putting on his show. They decided that fireworks could wait and decided to can the display to not disturb the exhibitionist walrus. Richard Coulson, 51, said: “It’s amazing how much attention it’s brought. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen one. It’s huge. You respect nature when you see something of that size. Click on the link for more Thor, the masturbating walrus, finds pleasure in new location: ‘Delighted’ He’s not a multi-tusker. A meandering — and masturbating — walrus named Thor has popped up in Iceland, two months after eagle-eyed Brits spotted him visiting the UK. Elís Pétur Elísson, who was supervising a fishing boat in the Breiddalsvik harbor, noticed Thor lounging on one of the floating docks Friday. Approaching him with caution, the group of fishermen realized he was “just chilling there.” “He was there all day resting, and we’ve been over a few times, and he hasn’t moved at all,” Elísson, 41, told SWNS after snapping a few photos of the marine mammal. “The weather has been really good, so we thought he has traveled a long way, and now he is sunbathing.” After a local news outlet ran Elísson’s pictures, fans immediately recognized the walrus as Thor. The director of welfare and conservation at the British Divers Marine Life Rescue compared patches on his flippers to that of the walrus that beached in the UK just months earlier. His last sighting was Jan. 2 in Northumberland, so his reappearance has “delighted” the marine rescue. Click on the link for the full article 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 Mexico's president shares photo of what he says "appears to be an aluxe," a "mystical" woodland spirit Mexico's president posted a photo on his social media accounts Saturday showing what he said appeared to be a mythological woodland spirit similar to an elf. President Andrés Manuel López Obrador did not seem to be joking when he posted the photo of an "Aluxe," a mischievous woodland spirit in Mayan folklore. López Obrador wrote the photo "was taken three days ago by an engineer, it appears to be an aluxe," adding "everything is mystical." The nighttime photo shows a tree with a branch forming what looks like a halo of hair, and what may be stars forming the figure's eyes. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted March 18, 2023 Share Posted March 18, 2023 B.C. man shocked to discover health file described him as a 'redneck hick' A Merritt, B.C., man says he was shocked to discover that notes from his physiotherapist in his official worker's compensation file used derogatory comments to describe him and his injuries. Robert Munro, 37, hurt his back in December while on the job, delivering furniture. He filed a WorkSafeBC claim and ended up in physiotherapy. But while reviewing his WorkSafeBC file, he came across comments referring to him as a "redneck hick to death" and an "uneducated massive redneck p—y," and claimed he was "playing the system." "The [physiotherapist] was really nice right up front," Munro told Daybreak Kamloops guest host Doug Herbert. He said it made him feel uncomfortable about returning to that physiotherapist for care. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted March 20, 2023 Share Posted March 20, 2023 ‘Dozens and dozens’ of unsolicited food orders bombard New Westminster, B.C. residents A strange situation is unfolding New Westminster’s Victoria Hill neighbourhood as residents said they have received dozens, maybe hundreds, of unsolicited Uber Eats food orders. The orders range from bottles of water to a doughnut or even a single bowl of gravy — which is all paid for. “It’s like this insane barrage of deliveries,” Jennifer Hughes said, an affected resident. “Every 30 minutes the bags would just show up.” There are no names listed on the orders and no specific units or addresses are attached to the order outside of a generic address for multiple townhouse complexes, which has been happening for weeks, the residents said. “We are all at a loss of what to do…it is very wasteful and, seemingly, there is no stopping,” Hughes said. “(Thursday) alone there were dozens and dozens of deliveries in the entire neighbourhood. All piling up in front of doors and condo buildings.“ “There was a lineup down the street in front of our house of delivery drivers,” Geoff McLennan told Global News on Saturday. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted March 20, 2023 Share Posted March 20, 2023 If it's all from the same restaurant (or a couple of them) it could be review spamming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted March 22, 2023 Share Posted March 22, 2023 Mysterious Minion sculptures appearing in small Australian town Residents of a small Australian town said sculptures of Minions have been appearing in locations around town since just before Christmas, and their origins remain a mystery. Locals in Warrack, a Victoria town boasting a population of about 70 people, said the first Minions sculpture appeared just before Christmas, and the statues have continued to appear on various properties to reach a current total of 24. Click on the link for the full article 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 'Bum splitting turd' uncovered at UK bank is 'largest human faeces ever' documented A “bum splitting” Viking poo measuring 20cm long and 5cm wide remains the largest turd on record. Archaeologists excitedly dug up the mighty dung from a site in York almost 50 years ago and was traced all the way back to the 9th century. The specimen was unearthed by York Archaeological Trust unearthed the poo during an excavation in 1972. Click on the link for the full story 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Only alcohol-free bar in Dublin closes its doors The Virgin Mary, branded as Dublin’s only alcohol-free bar, has permanently closed. The bar opened on Capel Street in the capital in May 2019, and specialised in alcohol-free ****tails. In a statement on social media on Monday, the owners said their time at 54 Capel Street “has come to a close”. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Wiggles Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Quote The bar opened on Capel Street in the capital in May 2019, and specialised in alcohol-free ****tails. That's not what a bar is tho. Bars serve alcohol and sometimes food. TVM serves neither apparently. Seems like false advertising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Pierce County deputy targeted by scam caller impersonating him Pierce County Sheriff's Office is alerting residents to a scam caller claiming to be PCSO Sergeant Darren Moss making the rounds, advising the potential victim there is an active warrant out on them in order to swindle money. The scam came to their attention after Sgt. Moss received a call from himself. "Remember, no police officer, judge, US Marshal, prosecutor or any public official will ask you for money over the phone," Moss said in a post about the scam. "We definitely won’t ask you for gift cards." Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Wienermobile to transform into 'Wiener of Love' chapel in Las Vegas, hosting free weddings Oscar Mayer is giving couples a chance to exchange vows 'in hot-dog bliss' at no charge during the company's first-ever 'Wienermobile of Love' event. The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile will be headed to Las Vegas, where it will transform into the 'Wienermobile of Love,' hosting two days of complimentary, hot-dog-themed weddings. Starting Monday, April 10, interested couples can sign up for the exclusive opportunity online and will be selected on a first-come, first-serve basis. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 This ought to horrify the "Christian" anti-LGTBQ crowd: In Biggest Hunky Jesus Contest Ever, Ensemble Group ‘Haus of Jesus’ Takes Crown, and We Have Videos The final round of the Hunky Jesus contest is above. Sister Roma told the contestants, “Should one of you win, this will be one of the most important moments of your lives But you responsibilities are absolutely none.” Here are your winners, the ensemble-cast Haus of Jesus. But they faced stiff competition from Oily Jesus, another large group. And we’re not quite sure what to say about this fetus Jesus called Fesus that took a while to get started (drawing a few heckles), but eventually emerged from a giant egg. Click on the link for more 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Wiggles Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Meh it's been done. 🦃 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Dad caught masturbating at a busy bus stop for over an hour after work drinks A tradesman was caught masturbating in broad daylight at a busy bus stop, following a late-night drinking session at his employer's house. Kip Perrin, 49, has been charged with indecent exposure in a public space after being seen pleasuring himself at around 7am on Sunday, March 12. The father-of-two was sitting on the ground near the Rockdale train station in Sydney, Australia, when a stunned passersby spotted him and reported the incident to the police, reported the Mail. The authorities were quick to respond, and as soon as Perrin saw them, he got up, dressed himself, and walked off. However, he later handed himself in after CCTV footage of the incident and a photo were released to the public to try and snare him. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 21, 2023 Share Posted April 21, 2023 Butt Drugs pharmacy closing doors after 71 years An iconic southern Indiana business is closing its doors after 71 years. The owner of Butt Drugs in Corydon confirmed to WHAS11 the pharmacy plans to close on April 29. In a letter to customers, Katie Beckort said she and staff are "deeply saddened" about the decision. "We truly were honored to be a part of your healthcare needs and care for many generations of families in the community," she wrote. Click on the link for the full article 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 'I thought I was buggin': Roaming pea**** bites Bronx man's leg A wild pea**** bit a man in the Bronx on Wednesday who lived to tell the tale. Emergency medical services were called to the scene of the bite on East 180th Street shortly after 8 p.m., the fire department confirmed to Gothamist, where an unnamed man suffered a minor injury and refused to be taken to a hospital. Video posted via the Citizen app shows the man explain how the ferocious pheasant was spotted roaming the streets, eventually biting his leg. Click on the link for the full article and video Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 Iceberg lovers go wild over viral photos of the 'dickie berg' off Newfoundland's coast A man from Dildo, N.L. has captured the attention of iceberg lovers after photographing an oddly-shaped hunk — now popularly known as the "dickie berg" on social media — off the coast of Newfoundland. The berg got it's nickname from the term "dickie bird," a Newfoundland euphemism for the male anatomy. Pictures of it on Facebook had garnered over 3,000 shares and "a lot of comments" by Friday morning, Pretty said. "Maybe I should call him," one user wrote. "Frozen stiff," remarked another. Pretty says he's lucky he got there when he did. "It's melting all the time. I mean, it might go limp," he said. But anyone rushing off to see the "dickie berg" of Harbour Grace for themselves is in for a disappointment. Facebook users say the tip has fallen off. Click on the link for the full article 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 24 minutes ago, China said: Iceberg lovers go wild over viral photos of the 'dickie berg' off Newfoundland's coast A man from Dildo, N.L. has captured the attention of iceberg lovers after photographing an oddly-shaped hunk — now popularly known as the "dickie berg" on social media — off the coast of Newfoundland. The berg got it's nickname from the term "dickie bird," a Newfoundland euphemism for the male anatomy. Pictures of it on Facebook had garnered over 3,000 shares and "a lot of comments" by Friday morning, Pretty said. "Maybe I should call him," one user wrote. "Frozen stiff," remarked another. Pretty says he's lucky he got there when he did. "It's melting all the time. I mean, it might go limp," he said. But anyone rushing off to see the "dickie berg" of Harbour Grace for themselves is in for a disappointment. Facebook users say the tip has fallen off. Click on the link for the full article I think Elsa needs a warm shower. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 Spanish Navy ship sent out to draw up maps loses its way A Spanish Navy ship tasked with updating nautical charts to make navigation safer, has itself gotten stranded near the island of Ibiza in the Mediterranean. The vessel Malaspina was exploring an area of shallows to the west of the island and got stuck on one of them. Rescue teams have been sent to help remove the vessel from the ground, the Navy said in a statement. The Malaspina, built in 1975 and refurbished in 2007, has sailed nearly 290,000km collecting undersea topography data along the Spanish coast. It is named after 18th-century Royal Navy Brigadier Alejandro Malaspina, famous for leading the largest scientific expedition around the globe at the time. The name can also be translated into English as 'having a bad feeling'. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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