Drew_Fl Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Okay, I'm coming late to the party, but I'll chime in. This will sound terribly sexist, but it in the next 3 years, if my wife iis 50 or more pounds heavier, I'm gone (assuming no legit medical reason)For one, it will mean that I have failed her as a husband. I will have let her get like that. Second, it means she will have done so willingly. She's 5'3" and maybe 130. She has done sports all her life until she graduated college (2007). She was a pole vaulter in college. She is actually a little lighter than in 2007, mainly due to her no longer lifting. She has always been active and has been able to eat whatever she wants. 50-100lbs in 3 years or less is ridiculous. Its someone who truly doesn't care about themselves. Someone who lacks the discipline to put down the crappy food and eat some veggies. Someone who can't stop themselves from eating everything on the plate and then getting more. by making this post you have failed her as a husband. this is beyond sexist and immature, this is just downright stupid. you are clueless as to what marriage is really about if THIS is the dealbreaker for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Tater Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 It's easier to know WHAT to do. It's not easier from a metabolism perspective. Your metabolism at 47 is laughable compared to 24. Its not just that its easier to know WHAT to do, its easier to do it. Of course, one big thing, is that the 20 something cardio bunnies at the gym no longer distract me as much (still do but not as much) Actually, my metabolism is also much higher now than when I was 24 but that's mostly because since my late 20s, I have become much less sedentary, and, it also hasn't come down completely from my high (about 4500kC/day in my early 30s). Also, although I liked most of the crap that is bad for you, most of it was easy to give up or minimize consumption because I didn't love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slateman Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Yea, maybe. But, like I said, if she gets to that point, I've failed completely and really shouldn't be anyone's husband. If my wife were to be 50lbs heavier, she simply would not be the same person I married. She would be unable to do 90% of the things she loves to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartinC Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I'm in m 40's and weigh the same now as I did when I was 21. The weights in slightly different places mind you ...... I have always been around 160 since I was about 18, When I started playing football (as opposed to soccer) in the UK I was 20. I played QB and the coaches were a bit worried about my lack of weight so they put me on a weight gain programme of heavy weight low rep workouts, high protein diet etc etc. After one year of religiously following this programme I had lost 1 pound. Now apart from good genetics and a fast metabolism I walk my dog 4 or 5 miles a day which helps me keep in some kind of tone but I'm lucky I don't need a high intensity workout to stay in shape. I also have banked a level of fitness from playing competive sports and training from my early teens until my very late 30's and have a reasonably healthy diet and don drink alcohol. I think each individual is different and it's very difficult to generalize but it's certainly true that as you get older you need to watch what you eat and maintain some kind of fitness programme or you can lose shape very quickly and it's hard to get it back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Tater Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 There is a reason Michael Jordan couldn't play anymore when he was with the Wizards. His knees, they couldn't take the stress of the NBA anymore due to his aging body. There is a reason athletes degrade as they age.I never said young people can't have any problems. I can tell you at 40 YOUR metabolism will not process food like you do at 24. YOUR physical issues, joints, knees, ankles, etc will not be physically as fit as they are at your age of 24. To try and imply otherwise is simply being argumentative. Hence my point, come talk to me at 40. Keeping in good physical condition gets more difficult with time, and it's not necessarily tied into being lazy. One of the biggest things, I think, was working hard through most of my 30s. Seems that's when most of my friends blew up and that's when I think most people **** up their metabolism (there are other reasons but they can effect people at any age), it is not so much time slowing it down but choices made over that decade and more chances for the other metabolism issues I'm talking about to rear their heads. Early 30s, they thought, yes I've put on some girth but not so much its really noticeable. Then in their mid to late 30s, they notice a pudge or maybe even worse and can't keep up on the court. Now your screwed, you either have to work like hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyholetsgogrant Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Okay, I'm coming late to the party, but I'll chime in. This will sound terribly sexist, but it in the next 3 years, if my wife iis 50 or more pounds heavier, I'm gone (assuming no legit medical reason)For one, it will mean that I have failed her as a husband. I will have let her get like that. Second, it means she will have done so willingly. She's 5'3" and maybe 130. She has done sports all her life until she graduated college (2007). She was a pole vaulter in college. She is actually a little lighter than in 2007, mainly due to her no longer lifting. She has always been active and has been able to eat whatever she wants. 50-100lbs in 3 years or less is ridiculous. Its someone who truly doesn't care about themselves. Someone who lacks the discipline to put down the crappy food and eat some veggies. Someone who can't stop themselves from eating everything on the plate and then getting more. Did you put your wife on notice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madison Redskin Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 What do your workouts consist of? Are your activity levels as high when you are not working out as they used to be? Running and lots of strength training. I haven't changed my workout routine at all. I have, however, changed my diet considerably (and for the better) over the past few years. ---------- Post added July-10th-2011 at 01:36 PM ---------- Yea, maybe. But, like I said, if she gets to that point, I've failed completely and really shouldn't be anyone's husband. If my wife were to be 50lbs heavier, she simply would not be the same person I married. She would be unable to do 90% of the things she loves to do. You would have "failed" her? Dude, do you control what your wife eats? If so, don't be surprised if she cuts your nads off with a rusty knife when you're sleeping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beans Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Yeah, that's completely ****ed up. I'm not even sorry to say that, that is just so messed up it's unreal.You stand up there and say vows, through good and bad, sickness and health, rich or poor...and it turns out those vows are conditional. That's so, unbelievably ****ed it's not even funny. I agree with this. Unless, of course, he included some sort of "weight clause" in his wedding vows. I'm sure that would be a real conversation starter amongst all the wedding guests! If your wife turns into a fatty, work with her to get her sexy back. Vows don't seem to mean anything anymore. I think it's a sign of the times... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Yeah, that's completely ****ed up. I'm not even sorry to say that, that is just so messed up it's unreal.You stand up there and say vows, through good and bad, sickness and health, rich or poor...and it turns out those vows are conditional. That's so, unbelievably ****ed it's not even funny. All depends on the reasons she put on the weight and what she plans to do about it. I ballooned up in weight after I injured my back. I worked hard to get it working again and dropped all the weight. My wife gained a lot of weight when she went through some personal issues and then we worked together to get her health back where it needs to be. If one partner just gives up and lets themselves go entirely it's going to cause problems that exceed fat jokes in a marriage fairly quickly. I do agree that vows matter however. You don't have a little alarm on the bathroom scale that warns "5 pounds to divorce!". You work together to help eachother be the best you can be. When my wife gains more than she likes she tells me and I make nothing but health food for a few weeks and plan outdoor activities for the weekend. There is no shame it in, life happens, but it helps when you work together to face the challenges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slateman Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Right Destino. Injuries are one thing. Baby weight, illness, extra are all understandable. But not someone who was perfectly healthy three years ago and can't keep from oredering double cheeseburgers with Bacon and a large order of Mac and Cheese as the side dish. Ill use myself as an example. I'm 6 ft and about 230lbs. By my own admission I need to drop 30lbs. Told the wife and she gotten veggies, chicken breast and fruit have appeared in the kitchen. We spent yesterday biking around Fairfax. If I'm sitting at 280 lbs its my own fault if my wife drops dueces and splits. I'd actually expect her too. I'm under 40 there's no reason for me to be this overweight. I want to be able to toss a ball with my kids, not sit in a chair while someone does it for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Getting in shape and losing weight is difficult in proportion to how out of shape you are. This, not age itself, is the primary reason why it can be harder for the older crowd. Everything at 40 is tougher (physically) than it is at 24. A lot tougher. If you were in shape at 24 you can still be in shape at 40, but it's a lot tougher. You have to work harder and eat better. In other words, whatever your habits are now, they will have to get better. That's not easy to know and/or accomplish ... especially when your responsibilities keep going up and free time keeps going down. And I'm in much better shape now than I was 15 years ago. I'm not making excuses. Just stating reality. Swing and a miss. For years I have had to contend with persistent ankle problems that take root in a combination of bad genetics, overuse, and lack of strength. It's not hypertension, diabetes, or arthritis but it is still limiting. Whatever problems you are facing now will be that much worse in 15 years. Whatever 'limiting' conditions you have now, expect them to be twice as limiting then. And expect to have to do more to maintain your level of fitness. Good luck. And to keep this somewhat on topic, it's even tougher for women because having babies can completely change their metabolism. ... now if you all will excuse me, I think I'll go for a run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney B Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 People who tell you how hard it is to get in shape after 40 are probably working harder than they need to. When I turned 50, and the doctor said "lose the extra weight", it was because he was more concerned with keeping me alive than with hurting my feelings with a "low blow". The fact is, carrying extra weight not only shortens your life, but diminishes your quality of life. In trying to lose the weight, I quickly found out that to get good results, I could either work twice as hard as I did 20 years ago, or expect the process to take twice as long as it would've 20 years ago. So, patience - it doesn't have to be so hard, if you take it slow, and are in it for the long haul. Once you've gotten in reasonably good shape, maintaining that condition can be surprisingly easy. And to keep this somewhat on topic, it's even tougher for women because having babies can completely change their metabolism. True, but only for a minority of women, and only temporarily. If the condition lasts, she should mention it to her doctor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destructis Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I have been popping in and out to read this thread. It just boggles my mind how some of you are. You have an all encompassing view of what men and women should be like. Real life, we are all different. We could probably be separated into categories, but there is enough of a difference that there can't be any set rule. There are so many factors that are part of what we are. Stress levels, genetics, lifestyle, mental situations, job types, etc can affect our bodies. When you love someone, you love them for who they are. That person should be your best friend above all else. Sexual compatibility is important but as you get older, your priorities change. You don't think they will, but they do. How you see your partner isn't as much about them as it is about yourself. To be a teenager again and know what I know how, I would have led a much more fulfilled and happier life. Some of you think you know, but you really really don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble Screen Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Yeah, that's completely ****ed up. I'm not even sorry to say that, that is just so messed up it's unreal.You stand up there and say vows, through good and bad, sickness and health, rich or poor...and it turns out those vows are conditional. That's so, unbelievably ****ed it's not even funny. I agree completely. That's messed up, Slate. ---------- Post added July-10th-2011 at 05:48 PM ---------- Yea, maybe. But, like I said, if she gets to that point, I've failed completely and really shouldn't be anyone's husband. If my wife were to be 50lbs heavier, she simply would not be the same person I married. She would be unable to do 90% of the things she loves to do. Your reasoning gets worse with each post. Seriously, You should have stayed single. You obviously didn't take your vows very seriously. ---------- Post added July-10th-2011 at 05:52 PM ---------- Right Destino. Injuries are one thing. Baby weight, illness, extra are all understandable. But not someone who was perfectly healthy three years ago and can't keep from oredering double cheeseburgers with Bacon and a large order of Mac and Cheese as the side dish. Ill use myself as an example. I'm 6 ft and about 230lbs. By my own admission I need to drop 30lbs. Told the wife and she gotten veggies, chicken breast and fruit have appeared in the kitchen. We spent yesterday biking around Fairfax. If I'm sitting at 280 lbs its my own fault if my wife drops dueces and splits. I'd actually expect her too. I'm under 40 there's no reason for me to be this overweight. I want to be able to toss a ball with my kids, not sit in a chair while someone does it for me Wait, so you're about 30 lbs over weight now and you're saying you would leave your wife if she gained 50 lbs?:doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointyfootball Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Yeah, that's completely ****ed up. I'm not even sorry to say that, that is just so messed up it's unreal.You stand up there and say vows, through good and bad, sickness and health, rich or poor...and it turns out those vows are conditional. That's so, unbelievably ****ed it's not even funny. Some people make up their own vows though. Like: "For richer or poor, in sickness and health, and as long as you stay on the physical fitness/nutrition regime I have developed for you, etc. etc...." I'm lucky my wife is in good shape (5-9, 135), but hypothetically, give me a wife that's packed on the pounds but has stood by me and been the loving wife one can only hope for, as compared to the perfectly proportioned one who has major personality flaws or cheats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointyfootball Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Wait, so you're about 30 lbs over weight now and you're saying you would leave your wife if she gained 50 lbs?:doh: Actually, according to the oft-maligned BMI calculator, 6' tall "normal weight range" is 136-184#. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMK9973 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 When you love someone, you love them for who they are. That person should be your best friend above all else. Sexual compatibility is important but as you get older, your priorities change. You don't think they will, but they do. How you see your partner isn't as much about them as it is about yourself. To be a teenager again and know what I know how, I would have led a much more fulfilled and happier life. Some of you think you know, but you really really don't. Think about this... Yes - you love them for who they are. If they are someone who cares about their body, how they look, being healthy...and then they gain a bunch of weight and dont care - are they really still the same person? Women (and guys) make this mistake all this time - They think that being attractive for your partner is not that important anymore. It absolutely is. Sexual compatibility IS important...even if you get older nd your priorities change you better be communicating and hope its changing for you partner as well. If both no longer care and let themselves go..great. But if ONE decides its no longer important and the other still does, that's a issue. Being healthy is a big thing. It means sooo much. I was always in pretty good shape - but 9 months ago I looked in a mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. I also had no energy, was always tired, etc... I decided to change that and have put my self on a routine that I could follow with my time schedule (2 kids - coach both their sports teams, work full time, etc...). Big mistake are when people think "Well - It says I have to work out a hour a day for 3 days a week, and I can only do 2 most weeks so whats the point". But there is a point. Even if its only 1 day a week now to simply get in the habit. 9 months later -I'm actually in the best shape of my life. One last point - I hate, HATE, when "unhealthy" people will look at someone like me and say something like "Your lucky - you have good genes" or "You don't understand because its easy for you". Why would you assume that? Maybe I'm not lucky, or maybe its not easy. MAYBE ....I work at it, make it priority, MAKE time for it (Even when I'm beat and would rather go crash on the couch). Maybe I arrange the time - even if it means taking a long lunch to get to the gym (done often), running after my sons baseball around the field for 30 mins after practice while he continues playing, or getting up a hour earlier to force my self to work out. Dont say its too hard for you and easier for others until you actually make a big effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 People who tell you how hard it is to get in shape after 40 are probably working harder than they need to. When I turned 50, and the doctor said "lose the extra weight", it was because he was more concerned with keeping me alive than with hurting my feelings with a "low blow". The fact is, carrying extra weight not only shortens your life, but diminishes your quality of life. In trying to lose the weight, I quickly found out that to get good results, I could either work twice as hard as I did 20 years ago, or expect the process to take twice as long as it would've 20 years ago. So, patience - it doesn't have to be so hard, if you take it slow, and are in it for the long haul. Once you've gotten in reasonably good shape, maintaining that condition can be surprisingly easy. Not sure you are disagreeing with me, Barney. Twenty years ago I could run three 8-minute miles. That was my relaxed pace. I didn't have to build up to it. I didn't have to stretch. I just went out the door one day and did it. Nowadays, my relaxed pace is a 12 minute mile. I stretch religiously before and after my runs. It took me a month or so to build up to three miles, and if I take a few weeks off, I have to be careful about jumping right back in again. And I do occasionally miss time these days because it's a lot easier to get injured. Sometimes things hurt for no darn reason ... cuz I'm old. And don't get me started on Martial Arts. So you are right. It does take longer. It also requires more patience, more diligence, more time and oftentimes a higher pain threshold. If you don't consider that 'harder,' then ok. But I think we are saying the same thing. Again, this is not a complaint. It's just the way it is. As far as what happens to a woman's body before babies and after them ... well I guess I just disagree with you if you think childbearing doesn't have and permanent affect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointyfootball Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 As far as what happens to a woman's body before babies and after them ... well I guess I just disagree with you if you think childbearing doesn't have and permanent affect. Not to mention her state of mind! Walking on egg shells for a month or two is challenging! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMK9973 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 As far as what happens to a woman's body before babies and after them ... well I guess I just disagree with you if you think childbearing doesn't have and permanent affect. Having babies changes a womens body...And no doubt that they have to work harder after having a baby. But its no a "never" think. My sister is 39. She has a 4 year old. She gained 71 lbs when pregenet...Yes... 71lbs. http://nataliejillfitness.com/ Thats my sister. yes - She works hard (too hard I think) and takes it seriously (too serious....) but don't say it can't be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Some people make up their own vows though. Like: "For richer or poor, in sickness and health, and as long as you stay on the physical fitness/nutrition regime I have developed for you, etc. etc...." My husband swears in my vows I told him I would obey him. I tell him he's full of crap and guests at our wedding confirm this. If I could only find our video... Think about this...Yes - you love them for who they are. If they are someone who cares about their body, how they look, being healthy...and then they gain a bunch of weight and dont care - are they really still the same person? Women (and guys) make this mistake all this time - They think that being attractive for your partner is not that important anymore. It absolutely is. Sexual compatibility IS important...even if you get older nd your priorities change you better be communicating and hope its changing for you partner as well. If both no longer care and let themselves go..great. But if ONE decides its no longer important and the other still does, that's a issue. Being healthy is a big thing. It means sooo much. I was always in pretty good shape - but 9 months ago I looked in a mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. I also had no energy, was always tired, etc... I decided to change that and have put my self on a routine that I could follow with my time schedule (2 kids - coach both their sports teams, work full time, etc...). Big mistake are when people think "Well - It says I have to work out a hour a day for 3 days a week, and I can only do 2 most weeks so whats the point". But there is a point. Even if its only 1 day a week now to simply get in the habit. This sounds like a long ass rambling attempt at rationalization... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Having babies changes a womens body...And no doubt that they have to work harder after having a baby. But its no a "never" think.My sister is 39. She has a 4 year old. She gained 71 lbs when pregenet...Yes... 71lbs. http://nataliejillfitness.com/ Thats my sister. yes - She works hard (too hard I think) and takes it seriously (too serious....) but don't say it can't be done. My wife is 5' 3" and gained over 60 pounds with each of our three kids. She's not 180 pounds heavier now. I'm not saying it's impossible for women to lose weight after kids. I'm just saying it's tougher. And the weight is distributed ... differently. And that's all I'm going to say before I get myself in real trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c4man5282 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Personally I think most of those girls look better with some weight on them. But as others have said weight issues is only a problem because of how Hollywood portrays girls now a days. Marilyn Monroe was never a skinny girl and she would be considered fat nowadays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMK9973 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 My husband swears in my vows I told him I would obey him. I tell him he's full of crap and guests at our wedding confirm this. If I could only find our video... This sounds like a long ass rambling attempt at rationalization... At rationalization of what? That if my partner gets fat I think we have issue? No rationalization needed. If I got fat and stoped caring about my looks without discussing things then I would expect issues and same in reverse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matty dread Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 This entire country has a weight problem, and it's not relegated to just one gender. http://www.medpagetoday.com/PrimaryCare/Obesity/27478 Some of the posts in this thread are definitely cringe worthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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