vigilante Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I'm a young buck, 22 years old, and I've only been in one serious relationship my entire life and it was only for a year. I'm curious as to what the older guys on here have to say about relationships, love, and how to deal with women. I feel as if it's wiser to take advice from older people who've been through it all before and to better prepare myself in case I'm moving in the wrong direction. So I pose this question, what are the three most important things you have learned in dealing with a relationships or a girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokie28 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 You're 22, play around as much as you can for now. No reason to get tied down at that age to 1 girl for a pro longed period of time. Enjoy it! When you start hitting 25-30 I'd worry more about a "relationship" or long term with 1 woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I've learned it's pretty simple. Love her with all your being. Listen to what she says and what she doesn't. Pray together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 1. Don't give into the fantasy of "getting married". You can lead a very happy and fulfilling life living by yourself.... if you are comfortable with yourself. And if you aren't comfortable with yourself.... you shouldn't get married anyways. People get into relationships and marriage because they think they know what they want... and they force the issue -- and get married as quickly as possible. The most secure relationships happen when they happen... when you aren't looking for them. 2. Be honest with yourself. Take some time to sit down... and think about your life and what you actually truly want out of it. Not what you think you want. And then go out and do it.... and don't settle for anyone or anything. Settling for things in life is what causes the biggest problems for you down the road. I know you said 3.... but I think you can get by with just those 2 :-) As I told my wife.... as I've gotten older... I know myself a helluva lot better than I ever did. I'm very comfortable with who I am, where I'm going and what I want. If we ever divorce... I won't be getting married again. Because I'm not going to be compromising anything for anyone else again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FanboyOf91 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Figure out yourself and pursue your dream before getting married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 You're 22, play around as much as you can for now. No reason to get tied down at that age to 1 girl for a pro longed period of time. Enjoy it! When you start hitting 25-30 I'd worry more about a "relationship" or long term with 1 woman. The only people that "worry" about being alone are the ones that can't stand the face they see in the mirror. If you want a woman for the purpose to fulfill your sexual needs... you don't have to get married. In fact, if you want to have a fulfilling sex life.... do NOT get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Women are all insane, just like all men are shallow sex-obsessed neanderthals. All relationships eventually end up frustrating, celibate and miserable. One thing u realize when u r older - women can never forget the men they've slept with, but men can never forget the women they could've slept with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vigilante Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 I know it sounds weird from someone who's 22 and in college, but for some reason, I don't see much fulfillment in lust. Sexual desires come and go, but I feel as if a person who's there for you when you need them the most is the more important. That's just my mentality.. but I could be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarlaFbaby06 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 No point in getting tied down to one person while your young. . you'll miss out, trust me =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Number 1. Find a woman that you respect as a equal - intellectually, morally, emotionally etc. I'm not saying find your mirror image, because there is no such thing. But find a woman that you genuinally consider to be your equal in all ways that matter. Number 2. Treat her like an equal. Number 3. Live happily ever after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aREDSKIN Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Women are all insane, just like all men are shallow sex-obsessed neanderthals. All relationships eventually end up frustrating, celibate and miserable. One thing u realize when u r older - women can never forget the men they've slept with, but men can never forget the women they could've slept with. +1 Read this, digest this, understand this and you'll have the answer you seek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elessar78 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I'm in my early 30s and happily married. Every stage in life is has it's pluses and minuses. My suggestion is not to fixate on only having ONE serious relationship and enjoy the great things about being single. You have an incredible amount of freedom that you can't even fathom, so take advantage of it. Not saying be a man-whore, but meet a lot of different women to be friends with, to shag, or both. Enjoy life right now. My baby girl is 6 months old and she is THE GREATEST thing that's happened to me, but now I can barely leave the house by myself. This is the time in your life where it revolves around you. The next stage is for your life to revolve around others (wife/kid)—don't be in such a big rush. But the three things: 1. They speak a language that sounds like English, but the words and the structure mean completely different things. Learn this language. 2. They don't want you to fix the problem. Just listen. 3. They don't always say things they want to convey (Like "I want you", "you pissed me off", "you're awesome"), so learn to read the visual cues. Notice the trend? It's about communication. It's not easy and you'll never figure it all out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobiemiles Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Find a woman that challenegs you to be the best man you can be. Never settle. I call my girl viagra because she turns me on in so many ways all day long. And be open to new experinces. Be open to new things. Figure out if your woman is dominant or submissive. Keep things spicy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenspandan Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 1. don't worry about the so-called "rules". the biggest obstacle standing in the way of a good relationship is the preconceptions each brings to the table about how things should be, how people should act, what should be felt, etc. things will be far more natural and easier if you treat each other honestly and deal with each other like real people who (hopefully) have a good time together rather than trying to imitate the archetypes you see in romantic comedies, or follow some kind of playbook, try to "game" the other person, or spend time re-interpreting things the other said or trying to decode hidden messages in each others behavior. 2. know when to lie. truth is not a virtue when its sole function is to harm someone. the a-hole who uses the phrase "hey, i'm just being honest" is still an a-hole. 3. usually when someone has difficulty relating to women it's because they tend think of each of them as a woman rather than a person and therefore can't connect on a personal level. girls are not exotic creatures or fragile, priceless artifacts. treating them like that creates distance and is the opposite of what you really want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MintHillSkinsFan Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 1. I agree with Die Hard. Don't settle and don't compromise yourself. That's like fitting the proverbial square peg in the round hole. You may be able to endure it for a while but eventually you are going to realize what you've done and you will regret it. This isn't to say don't be open minded and flexible because that's a recipe for disaster too. Just don't compromise or change who you are as a person. 2. Sex. If you aren't 100,000% happy with your sex life, don't get married. If there are things that you like that she doesn't, don't fool yourself into thinking that she will loosen up or you can ease her into it after you're married. If anything, it's going to go the opposite way once she has that ring on her finger. It sounds like a joke but I'm dead serious. 3. Take your time. Learn to be happy being alone because if you're not happy living with yourself, you can't expect someone else to be happy living with you for the rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gortiz Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I'm a young buck, 22 years old, and I've only been in one serious relationship my entire life and it was only for a year. I'm curious as to what the older guys on here have to say about relationships, love, and how to deal with women. I feel as if it's wiser to take advice from older people who've been through it all before and to better prepare myself in case I'm moving in the wrong direction.So I pose this question, what are the three most important things you have learned in dealing with a relationships or a girl? 1. only get married if the world revolves around this girl. no half stepping, NO DOUBTS. 2. respect ... have to respect each other, and than make each other laugh. 3. Trust ...in the end ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. You can't define "love" but I think the basis for what ever it is has to be trust. blind trust, with everthing. your email inbox, your checking account, your credit card statements, everything has to be open. There is nothing better than sleeping good a night sleep cause you got NOTHING to hide. married 11 years ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gortiz Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 But the three things:1. They speak a language that sounds like English, but the words and the structure mean completely different things. Learn this language. 2. They don't want you to fix the problem. Just listen. 3. They don't always say things they want to convey (Like "I want you", "you pissed me off", "you're awesome"), so learn to read the visual cues. Notice the trend? It's about communication. It's not easy and you'll never figure it all out. spot on brother ...spot on. just so hard to do sometime man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimmySmith Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 To make your life simpler. NEVER marry a woman who does not get along with her family. NEVER marry a woman whose family does not get along with you. NEVER marry a woman who does not have female friends that she sees regularly. MAKE SURE that you agree 100% on religion and future family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterMP Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Wow. Some of you have depressing views on marriage/women. Find somebody that makes you and not just happy some of the time, but generally really happy, and then try really hard to do the right things (REALLY REALLY don't worry about what other people think). You and that other person are what is important. But realize that you're not perfect and nor is the other person. The other person will have things that you don't like that will never change, and you likely have similar issues and that's just part of it. The being married part actually isn't that hard. It is the being married part with kids that's hard, but I think having kids WITHOUT being married would be even harder (though I haven't done that). Kids fundamentally change your life and therefore your relationship like nothing else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vigilante Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 A lot of good stuff on here. Keep em coming. For those older folks now, how was your lifestyle when you were in your 20's (aspects such as partying, just hooking up with random chicks, etc) and is there anything you regret now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokie28 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I'm assuming you are a sports fan. Either find a woman that has your same passion for sports, or even if she doesn't will not interfere with your passion for it. The worst possibility is to find a woman that plans everything that conflicts with your sports schedule, especially watching the Skins etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tone_dubbz Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I'm a young buck, 22 years old, and I've only been in one serious relationship my entire life and it was only for a year. I'm curious as to what the older guys on here have to say about relationships, love, and how to deal with women. I feel as if it's wiser to take advice from older people who've been through it all before and to better prepare myself in case I'm moving in the wrong direction.So I pose this question, what are the three most important things you have learned in dealing with a relationships or a girl? Look, you're still very young. You have the world at your finger tips right now. Just enjoy what relationships or friendships with the females you have now. You don't have to get serious with anyone right now, unless you have strong feelings for her. Man through out my 20's, all I did was focus on myself (school/career) and bang anything in site. I've made plenty of women hate me, but at the same time I've had my heart broken as well. All I know is, that at that age...male of female....not a lot of people know what the hell they want in life, let alone know what type of person they want to spend the rest of their life with. Don't worry too much about finding the "one". Just enjoy your youth and try to meat as many women as possible. You don't have to try and sleep with every single one, but you can definitely be friends with them. Anyway, I just got married back in July. Me and my wife dated for 3 years before we tied the not. But we've been through enough to know what we want and don't want. So it was much easier for us to know that we where right for each other. Good luck. Just remember, you're going to get your heart broken as well as break a couple. It happens to all of us. And if doesn't turn out the way you want, it won't be the end of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vigilante Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 But the three things:1. They speak a language that sounds like English, but the words and the structure mean completely different things. Learn this language. 2. They don't want you to fix the problem. Just listen. 3. They don't always say things they want to convey (Like "I want you", "you pissed me off", "you're awesome"), so learn to read the visual cues. Notice the trend? It's about communication. It's not easy and you'll never figure it all out. In regards to #3, can you give some examples? I've been hanging out with this girl from my class and I'm sure she likes me, but I just want to observe her to see if she pulls any of the visual cues you mention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Don't get married till you are ready Don't expect marriage to solve your issues(ya want companionship get a dog) Find someone you can't imagine life w/o add Predicto's and SS's advice and stir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMK9973 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Its actually a lot simpler. Everyone is different. Whats important to me might not be whats important to you. What I think is important in a relationship may be meaningless to you. Go with this - If you are with someone and have ANY doubts about if you are in love or not....your not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.