Cool as Crud Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 "Finally a use for Albert Haynesworth, as he plugs up the oil leak in the Gulf". LOL - nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johns Bass Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 Real Reason Behind Haynesworth Absence - Abducted by Aliens, Who Returned Him After Not Being Able to Find Out Where to Stick Anal Probe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gkekoa Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 Albert Haynesworth shows up to training camp: 320 pounds and a six pack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smitity Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 "Haynesworth practices, loves new position, apologizes to team and fans" Same day as the following headlines "BP locates "OFF" switch for oil well right next to soda machine. Hayward: 'My Bad'" "Israel and a Palestine end hostilities after discovering mutual dislike of pork, throw huge party with cake and pie" "Glenn Beck talks about America on talk show, doesn't cry" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johns Bass Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 "Haynesworth practices, loves new position, apologizes to team and fans"Same day as the following headlines "BP locates "OFF" switch for oil well right next to soda machine. Hayward: 'My Bad'" "Israel and a Palestine end hostilities after discovering mutual dislike of pork, throw huge party with cake and pie" "Glenn Beck talks about America on talk show, doesn't cry" Source? National Inquirer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedskinWarship Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 "On a sadder note, "Washington Redskin" Albert Haynesworth was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his stretched limo. Evidently, the notorious "Nose Tackle" became locked in his car and ate himself to death." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johns Bass Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 "On a sadder note, "Washington Redskin" Albert Haynesworth was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his stretched limo. Evidently, the notorious "Nose Tackle" became locked in his car and ate himself to death." Pizza the Hut! You know, you're really a SpaceBall... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 Haynesworth Deal Nixed. Ham Sandwich Mysteriously Eaten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jflow78 Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 Pizza the Hut!You know, you're really a SpaceBall... OOOOOooooooooh, THAT'S who it is. I thought it was a television capture of Peter King. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redskin301 Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 Haynsworth blows up for the 4th of July Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWFLSkins Posted July 4, 2010 Author Share Posted July 4, 2010 Haynesworth is Gay, marrying a Canandian Haynesworth wife filed for divorce and spoke briefly to the media on Saturday. She states that an internet relationship has consumed Albert since the end of last season. Apparently a Canadian Football player had an on-line relationshipthat blossomed on the teams message board. When asked if true, Haynesworth just smiled, hummed and skipped away. When sources contacted the Canandian, he stated, I liked his stats top to bottom. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWFLSkins Posted July 21, 2010 Author Share Posted July 21, 2010 Albert Haynesworth shows up to training camp: 320 pounds and a six pack Okay well he is a 330 now, so your getting closer to the prize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRNY4ZRNY Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 "HAYNES UNDERWEAR EXECUTIVE TERMINATED FOR FOR SUGGESTING ALBERT HAYNESWORTH FOR ADD CAMPAIGN" "All I said was, I thought it would be a great way to sell more underwear. Haynes and Haynes-worth. But the chairman thought Albert couldn't even fit into our largest size. Then our president yelled Albert Haynesworth! More like Albert Stainesworth! I also found out he is a die hard Redskin's fan and a member of Extremeskins." - (Top executive Martin Scwartz said earlier today) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldskool Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 In order to further his weight loss, Albert Haynesworth joins the touring company of "STOMP" "I've had previous experience using my feet in similar ways" noted Haynesworth, most likely referring to the now infamous incident against the Cowboys while a member of the Titans and his role in stuffing his foot in his mouth this offseason with the Redskins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderDOOM Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Alberts' Off-season fuss: Water Under the Bridge As Skins clinch home-field advantage with Sunday victory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onedrop Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Alberts' Off-season fuss: Water Under the Bride As Skins clinch home-field advantage with Sunday victory. Who's bride exactly, and will a soggy wife lead to another law suit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderDOOM Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Who's bride exactly, and will a soggy wife lead to another law suit? haha. god 1;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsenic Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 "Haynesworth to Kiss Snyder's A** on Live TV" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindlywewander Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Update from Redskins Training Camp: Fat Albert still Fat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dex_is_the_Manley Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 HAYNESWORTH LOSSES TOO MUCH WEIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins island connection Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 In an attempt to get Albert Haynesworth to play in the 3-4 defense, coach Shannahan straps a deep fried turkey to a stick and affixes it to the front of Albert's helmet, to encourage forward movement. quote from Shannahan: " That strategy worked for the first play, until Albert kept going and ran through the fence, and has not been seen since"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 REDSKINS FANS NO LONGER CARE ABOUT HAYNESWORTH HEADLINES Fans of the Washington Redskins on the wildly popular "Extremeskins" messageboard have issued a statement today, detailing their emotional withdrawal from all things "Haynesworth". Here are some of the highlights from the statement, from various* Extremeskins members: I just don't care. I don't give a ****. No, really...stop asking me what I think about it. I don't give a flying **** :laugh: What's this about? I thought we were talking about if we'd :hump: any even slightly attractive girl in existence? Wait, we're talking about Haynesworth?.........Does he have a sister? :drool: I'm here to disagree with this statement. Haynesworth didn't do anything wrong, the 3-4 sucks, and the way Shanahan handled this sucks. Go Haynesworth! Yeah, Portis sucks. What about Haynesworth now? Oh, Betts could do his job, and be far superior at it, too. Yeah, that's right. I'm with Ryman, unless I hear it out of Hayneworth's mouth, I'm not believing any of this drivel. The media is just messing with your heads, you ignorant cattle. You keep being herded like sheep, and being told what you believe, while I know the truth. Oh, and his agent doesn't count, either. The Moderators could not be reached for comment. *Nobody take offense, I'm just joshing ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins Anonymous Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 "Haynesworth eats Laron Landry in horrific lunchtime accident" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santana_4_prez Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Haynesworth drops a deuce and loses 32 lbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins Anonymous Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Haynesworth drops a deuce and loses 32 lbs so that's his offseason workout, i knew it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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