What do you do when you're in a rut or feeling down?

[abdcskins]

So lately I've been feeling kinda discouraged and depressed. I haven't been able to find a job and I've been feeling kinda worthless. I keep trying but there isn't anything that seems to come up. I'm also pretty lonely, I can't seem to find anyone to be with. Not just with girls, I don't have many friends out here, and LA can be a very lonely place. I also constantly keep thinking about all the regrets that I have in my life, which are a lot. There's one girl in particular that I keep thinking about, I can't stop thinking about her, I loved her and I know I'll never see her again. It's really hard for me to forget regrets and missed chances, even though I know that's all I can do. I'm a reserved person and I've let a lot of relationship opportunities pass me by....and I didn't take advantage of career and educational chances that were available to me. I just feel like I'm getting older and older and my life is passing me by. I dunno...all I can do is stay determined but that hasn't been doing much. Sorry to sound all desolate...but I just feel like my life has no purpose. What do you guys do to cheer yourselves up? Any inspiration? Thanks.

[Oldskool]

I know its OT, but why did you move here from Md?

[abdcskins]

Went to school at Occidental College. You're about to get my life story after college..... After I graduated in 2004, I just sorta stuck around. I suppose I was too lazy to look or move anywhere else(that's another thing, I feel that I'm too unambitious and lazy). I worked at a group home for a little, got fired, and that really discouraged me and depressed me. After a few months of trying real hard, I was able to get a job at a residential treatment center for kids in the Valley, near the Angeles National Forest. Worked there for a little over a year, really enjoyed it. Met a girl, had a great time together. She was like the first girl who ever cared about me, and that I had a relationship with to be honest. I consider that the best time of my life. She eventually moved to NY to attend graduate school(it ended kinda sad for me, she got with another guy, blah blah blah)....I decided to return to school at Loyola Marymount to pursue a MA in School Counseling. After a few semesters of that I decided that my passion for that was not strong enough to continue. I don't really want to be a school counselor. Anyway...ever since I quit that in October of '07, I've been sitting around my house in Manhattan Beach. It is really depressing. I started a couple jobs, one as a counselor for developmentally disabled people, but quickly decided to quit that because it was more of a direct care job(cooking, cleaning, etc.) Not what I want. The other was a tutoring job, but it involved a lot of math, and I am not good at math. I don't know what a linear equation is. Anyways....sorry for rambling but that's what has happened. Another thing....I'm really getting into it here...I got charged with a DUI in February of '07 that I got dismissed, but I recieved a reckless driving charge. That has prevented me from securing a job, at least quickly. I am currently waiting on an offer from a drug and rehabilitation center for adolescents in the Valley(As you can tell I am interested in social services, that's my real passion, helping disadvantaged individuals, particularly youth) They know about it. You would've thought I was charged with murder the hoops I have to jump through. I don't know how people with serious criminal history ever get jobs. Anyway...that's about it.

[Kosher Ham]

Personally, I live my life without regrets.

I don't understand when people have regrets.

[abdcskins]

^That's awesome man. But for me there are just some things that are hard to forget. Like I really wish I followed through with such and such....there are a lot of things I wish I did that I'm sure would've made my life better.

I don't want to sound like a negative or whiny person....there are a lot of things to be thankful for. But I'm just sort of stuck right now in a state of uselessness right now and it's hard to break.

[Kosher Ham]

You never forget your mistakes (we all make them).

You learn from them and move forward.

Regret, just leaves that on your shoulders for all time.

[Ignatius J.]

Volunteer somewhere and work your #$% off. I find that working helps a lot. When I'm down it's usally cause I haven't accomplished anything in a while. So I go and accomplish something. It seems like you're having a hard time accomplishing employment, so consider volunteering.

It will help give you something to do. It will help you meet chicks. It will help you get a job, especially in the field that you're talking about.

That's my completely uninformed advice.

[33]

Your life is your life. You can't miss out.

You're just in a rut like you said. Head out to the most beautiful spot you know tomorrow, and just enjoy the view. Sometimes we need something large to lend some insight into the our place in the world.

[ChocolateCitySkin]

Probably should seek professional help. Sounds like depression. You're beating yourself up too much.

If it makes you feel any better i've been trying since april to get a job in my field.

Personally, I just blame that douche president for effin the economy.

[Jumbo]

If it makes you feel any better i've been trying since april to get a job in my field. Personally, I just blame that douche president for effin the economy.

It's ****ing Brunell.

[illone]

You just need a swift kick in the ass.

Life will keep checking you if you let it. Might as well make the best of it like the rest of us and find something shallow like FOOTBALL or BEER to pass the times.

Or just do what I do, puff tons of herb:D.

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

Volunteer somewhere and work your #$% off. I find that working helps a lot. When I'm down it's usally cause I haven't accomplished anything in a while. So I go and accomplish something. It seems like you're having a hard time accomplishing employment, so consider volunteering.

It will help give you something to do. It will help you meet chicks. It will help you get a job, especially in the field that you're talking about.

That's my completely uninformed advice.

This is the best advice. Although, as for volunteering, your efforts would probably be better served at getting a job and making some income. That is if you aren't financially "set", of course. Volunteering is great, but having steak instead of bread on the table makes you feel better.

SO, the problem is you can't find a job. Well the job market is bad, but Ignautis J. said it best, go out and accomplish something. If it's hard to get a job, work even harder. When you're focused on accomplishing something, you will forget about things bothering you. Set a daily goal. Pick up 10 applications one day, fill them all out the next, then turn them in on the third day. When you turn them in always ask for a manager (don't give them to the drooling front door kids). Give the application to the manager! They will usually give you a time that you can interview right there. If they don't, then ask when you could come by to see if they went through your application.

It's time to stop being reserved and get some air in your lungs. "A strong body equals a strong mind". Wake up and do 3 or 4 sets of pushups, slowly, until it burns. You gotta get the blood pumping in the brain or your neuro-transmitters (sp) will get stuffed and cause you to get down on yourself. If I didn't work out, I'd probably cry over **** I've done in the past. Steady work out regiments (those that last more than a week or month) will make you live with a steady purpose regiment. Even if your life turned from star baseball prospect to a mcdonalds floor mopper, you have to start over and start moving with a purpose.

Couch potato-ness is hard to break. A thought of an excersise will make you feel tired. But once you get through merely 20 pushups, that blood will rush through you like a full-blasted garden hose. Good luck, and just remember to get up and get the blood rushing when your brain starts getting clouded with crud.

[Burgold]

Three short term and pretty cheap fixes that usually give me a bump.

One getting a sketchpad or a canvas (God, I need to paint again) and just going to town and losing myself in motion, texture, color, and composition.

Two: Going someplace natural and undisturbed. Being in clean air, seeing how beautiful the world is despite man's best efforts, feeling the wind and the sun and the shade of trees is just calming and uplifting at the same time. A big part of that is hiking too.

Three: Getting a CD I love and know by heart and just rocking out and singing at the top of my lungs and hopefully (this happens more often than you'd expect) getting strangers to join in.

[SkinsD]

You and I have the same problem, I want to be sitting on the couch and be struck into the right state of mind. Unfortunately for both of us, life doesn't work that way. You can't think yourself into right acting, you have to act your way into right thinking. And remember, what you think, feel, and believe is irrelevant. Your life and your happiness is entirely dependent on what you do. And happiness is a by product of doing the next right thing.

[TimmySmith]

Mid 20's are tough. It's when some go off to work and marry and others feel left behind. If I had it to do over again, I would do all I could to move out of the US for a while and experience some other part of the world. But in your case, you should find an activity that interests you in order to meet people who enjoy the things you do. It may not sound cool to some, but church is also a great place to meet people.

[Kosher Ham]

Still works after all these years.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yftqegIka_w&feature=related

[Peeping Wizard]

Personally, I just blame that douche president for effin the economy.

Wow. Nice strech there. Of course the do-nothing Congress who actually holds the purse strings as stated in the Constitution has nothing to do with the economy. Sorry didn't mean to get political but you did first.

Regarding feeling down or in a rut there are several things you can do. Find something productive to do. Even if it is working out and getting into better shape that will help your well being. Talking to loved ones can also help sometimes. A small indulgence of some kind can be nice too, although the high from that will be shorter-lived and will leave your wallet thinner, so be careful there.

Good luck. There is a lot to be happy about. I had a pretty rough go of things in my mid-20s as well. I kind of lost my way for awhile and am really starting to hit my groove again.

[buenosdiaz]

be thankful for the things you DO have.

In any case I feel that a lot of people expect too many things to happen rather than just let them happen...ease up live a little and things will fall into place, I don't really know you personally but if theres one thing I know it's that people get a long with people (a lot of people forget this). I have had friends and girlfriends that I would have thought I had NOTHING in common with but because I let things happen and it turns out many of them were able to understand me and vice-versa better than anyone else that would "fit" the way i am

[Guest sith lord]

As long as you have your health, you're doing OK. Take some advice, don't ever let anyone get you down. Not a girlfriend, your friends or even relatives. Life is too short.

[PleaseBlitz]

Mid 20's can be a tough time and i cant imagine being somewhere so far away and not having friends. While normally i would echo Illone (minus the herb ), if i were you i'd be trying to get involved around the community and meet some people. I dont know much about SoCal, but if its anything like here, the city will have tons of opportunities for young people to mix with other young people.

Because to answer your question, when im down and need to cheer up, i call up my buddies and go hang out. Does the trick every time.

[sacase]

Man, I look back at the mistakes I made and sometimes I wish I could change them and they have been some pretty big ones like loosing a full ride scholarship to pretty much any school I wanted to go to. But, now I look back at my life and I am glad I made those mistakes because I would not be where I am at today. Maybe I would be better, maybe I would be worse, but I am very happy with where I am. Mistakes happen, move on from there. Its not about what happens its about what you do after.

I would say join the military....They will motivate you Private Pyle. You will definately feel a sense of accomplishment. However, in your case I might suggest something like peace corps are it sounds like it deals with more of your interests. I think if you did that you would meet some really good people and have some really good experiences that would get your out of your rut.

[China]

Hmmm...things to do to make yourself feel better?

Go to Walmart and do some of these:

As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.

Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

Hold indoor shopping cart races.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

Play with the automatic doors.

Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

"Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.

Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.

Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.

Take bets on the battle from above.

Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.

TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.

Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.

Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.

Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"

When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

[China]

Let's see what else we can come up with.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Send email messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc, in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, “You've got to be faster than that.”

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Reply to everything someone says with “That's what you think.”

Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”

Don't use punctuation

Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party, because you're not in the mood.

[China]

Go to the mall:

10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.

2. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

[Henry]

It's time to stop being reserved and get some air in your lungs. "A strong body equals a strong mind". Wake up and do 3 or 4 sets of pushups, slowly, until it burns. You gotta get the blood pumping in the brain or your neuro-transmitters (sp) will get stuffed and cause you to get down on yourself. If I didn't work out, I'd probably cry over **** I've done in the past. Steady work out regiments (those that last more than a week or month) will make you live with a steady purpose regiment. Even if your life turned from star baseball prospect to a mcdonalds floor mopper, you have to start over and start moving with a purpose.

Couch potato-ness is hard to break. A thought of an excersise will make you feel tired. But once you get through merely 20 pushups, that blood will rush through you like a full-blasted garden hose. Good luck, and just remember to get up and get the blood rushing when your brain starts getting clouded with crud.

This is the best advice I've read right here. I've just recently started running again and nothing clears your head and energizes you like 20-30 minutes of exercise.