Air Force Cane Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 on the miami hurricane lounge tailgate there are some serious players who can write books on how to turn "friends" into girlfriends. it is amazing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCRunner Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 we talked about going out and doing something fun. she also mentioned how awful she is at dating and how she is impressed that I am always dating someone. have no idea what that means... Really? You don't know what this means? For heaven's sake just ask her out on a date. I cannot believe the mental masturbation that is going on here. You sound like a bunch of girls. Just do it! I don't mean to sound harsh but from my slightly older perspective, I have learned that age is really irrelevant. I have had serious relationships with guys way older and way younger and, of course, my own age, and you have to know by now - you are 35 - it's all about the person. Do you want her or don't you? Do you care about her or don't you? Do you really just want to be her friend? I can't imagine that in asking her out or letting her know you care about her more than a friend that you'll do something so horrible that you'll scare her away. She may hesitate or think about it but if she really "runs away" then you'll know and stop wasting your time. You're only 35 - you must have some testosterone left. Use it! Good luck, you'll be fine. (I can't believe I just used one of those hokey picture thingies - see what you made me do, AF Cane?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheKurp Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I'm 47 and have been dating a 25-year old girl for almost a year. Certainly there have been issues, as all couples experience, but an ability to relate back in time to my 20's helps me understand, as best as a man can understand a woman, her point of view. When I'm asked my opinion on a topic, I give it. However I never try to be her father and offer words of wisdom or sage advice. She can go to her father (who is 3 years older than me) for that. My job is to be her friend and lover, and that's what I do. I let her make her own mistakes and experience life the way someone in their 20's should. I'm there if she needs me but I'm careful not to overstep my role as her boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamingwolf Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Half your age plus seven has been a formula that seems to work for the ideal age difference. Ive always thought that method was a good measuring stick for age of dating, although I would use plus 8 instead of plus 7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I say go for it! Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 go for it....treat her just like you'd treat any other woman you were interested. there are tons of 20 something year old women who are interested in guys who are 10+ years older than them simply because of the maturity level of most guys their own age. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I am 35, friends with two gals who are in their mid twenties. :pimp: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Really? You don't know what this means?For heaven's sake just ask her out on a date. I cannot believe the mental masturbation that is going on here. You sound like a bunch of girls. Just do it! I don't mean to sound harsh but from my slightly older perspective, I have learned that age is really irrelevant. I have had serious relationships with guys way older and way younger and, of course, my own age, and you have to know by now - you are 35 - it's all about the person. Do you want her or don't you? Do you care about her or don't you? Do you really just want to be her friend? I can't imagine that in asking her out or letting her know you care about her more than a friend that you'll do something so horrible that you'll scare her away. She may hesitate or think about it but if she really "runs away" then you'll know and stop wasting your time. You're only 35 - you must have some testosterone left. Use it! Good luck, you'll be fine. (I can't believe I just used one of those hokey picture thingies - see what you made me do, AF Cane?) Very Funny post :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistymjohnson Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 GSF and King: First of all, when he told me that he was in love with me... I DID cut off all contact with him. He was the one that pursued the friendship by coming to my work and the likes. We are still best friends, and I do NOT use him. Everything is paid 50/50 (or perhaps I even pay for more than my share for the simple reason... I DO NOT want to lead him on in ANY way!) Poor guy? HARDLY! If he is hurting, then he is doing it to himself. We have discussed this many times once he declared his feelings, and it always ended with him saying that he had rather have my friendship than nothing at all. His decision! I did not force it upon him. Is it so wrong to enjoy someone's company so much that you are willing to lay your feelings aside? Umm... NO! I know women who do it all the time, but somehow when a man does it... The woman must be using him or labeled a trifling *****! When we are together, we laugh almost non-stop. Our religious, political, and social beliefs are almost identical with each other. This makes for good conversation, in my opinion. Our personalities and styles compliment the other. Shoot... He has even asked me to help him find another woman so that he could move on (farther than what he has already), and I am more than happy to oblige him. So, before you start calling me naive and/or a user... Check your own inventory and see where your line of thinking comes from! Your prejudice and judgmental attitude is NOT welcome! I accept your apology in advance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isifhan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 We've all been stuck in the friend zone, and it sucks, but it sucks even more if you're emotionally attached to them as opposed to just attracted too. Yeah it does suck, hehe. I'm in the exact situation now actually, well we're the same age though. Known her for almost two years and were kind of just acquaintences. A couple of months ago we started hanging out quite a bit, needless to say my attraction was there. She thought so too for a minute...then stepped back and decided she just wanted to do the friendship thing. Sucks for sure. I would tell her how you feel though, you owe it to yourself to see if there is anything worth pursuing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monte51Coleman Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 So, before you start calling me naive and/or a user... Check your own inventory and see where your line of thinking comes from! Your prejudice and judgmental attitude is NOT welcome! I accept your apology in advance! Ouch! You guys better get some aloe for that BURN. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Settle down there Misty. Noone is calling you a triffling *****. :laugh: Sounds more like a classic case of man loves women, women doesn't love man, but loves all the attention she gets from man. Men don't go from being completely in love to settling for being best friends. That's not how things work in the real world. Your friend is hung up on you big time. He's not interested in being friends, he's just hanging on anyway he can. You know what I'm talking about or you wouldn't be so defensive. If you really care about this person, you know what you have to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistymjohnson Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Should I be crude and walk away from a perfectly great friendship... Leaving him bitter against women? You accused me of using him or being naive. That is so far from the truth, it isn't even funny. Do I like the attention I get from him? I enjoy his friendship and banter. We used to hang out almost on a daily basis until he shared with me his feelings. Now, that time is cut back drastically. Why? Because I do NOT want to lead him on! I cannot stress that enough. I happen to be from the school of honesty. That is where no matter how much it hurts... Blatant honesty is the best way to go. Once it is put out there... What you do from there is YOUR choice! And just because you are a male does not give you the authority to speak for all males! Not all men (or women) allow their emotions to dictate thier friendships and relationships. And by the way, I still accept your apology for your judgemental remarks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monte51Coleman Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 A couple of things about your post seem a little strange. You say this guy is your best friend, but that you know he is completely in love with you. You then say that you don't have fun with people b/c you don't want to hurt your friend b/c of his feelings, but you let him take you to the movies and dinner.You are either using this poor old guy or very naive. There are very few people in this world that can be "best friends" with someone they are "completely in love with". You don't think you're hurting this guy, but you are. GSF- You did assume that she let him take her to movies & dinner. You were wrong according to her response. You then accused her of using "this poor old guy" or of being very naive. Another apparently wrong assumption. Somehow I'm guessing that this "poor old guy" can look out for himself. Looks to me that you owe this woman an apology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redskins4life234 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 8-9 younger? they cant speak proper english yet for me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sumodat Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 The older I get the less picky I am about women. I remember when I used to be very selective even when girl watching. Now I like pretty much anything that walks by. What is wrong with me? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Man, you're only 36!! Bring back the standards! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 My wife is 7 years younger, it was never an issue. Don't even worry about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hey Monte, Have you ever been "completely in love" with a gal, and then decided you'd be ok with just being "best friends"? Any man in here ever do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monte51Coleman Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hey Monte,Have you ever been "completely in love" with a gal, and then decided you'd be ok with just being "best friends"? Any man in here ever do that? Can't sat that I have GSF. But that doesn't make it the girls fault if she has been perfectly honest with the guy. From reading what she posted it sounds to me like she has been. I do think it's unfair to expect her to stop being friends with him because he is obsessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Should I be crude and walk away from a perfectly great friendship... Leaving him bitter against women? You accused me of using him or being naive. That is so far from the truth, it isn't even funny. Do I like the attention I get from him? I enjoy his friendship and banter. We used to hang out almost on a daily basis until he shared with me his feelings. Now, that time is cut back drastically. Why? Because I do NOT want to lead him on! I cannot stress that enough. I happen to be from the school of honesty. That is where no matter how much it hurts... Blatant honesty is the best way to go. Once it is put out there... What you do from there is YOUR choice! And just because you are a male does not give you the authority to speak for all males! Not all men (or women) allow their emotions to dictate thier friendships and relationships. And by the way, I still accept your apology for your judgemental remarks! Misty, Strange that you have twice accepted apologies that haven't been offered. If he's in love with you, then you 2 don't have a "perfectly great friendship". You may think so, but I promise you he doesn't, so yes you probably should walk away. You definitely shouldn't be going to dinner and the movies with him. Don't worry, he'll get over his bitterness towards women. I'm sure you're great and all, but there are other women out there. Look, I'm not judging you or accusing you of anything. I'm just making an observation based on information you posted. When you post that kind of info on a public forum, you open yourself up to those kinds of observations. Just because you don't like them doesn't earn you an apology. You say you are from the school of honesty, but from where I'm sitting you're not being honest with yourself. I think you know what I'm talking about, or you wouldn't have said this: Blatant honesty is the best way to go. Once it is put out there... What you do from there is YOUR choice! Good luck to you, and I hope everything works out for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I do think it's unfair to expect her to stop being friends with him because he is obsessed. :laugh: You want to think about that one for a minute there Monte? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carter23 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 she also mentioned how awful she is at dating and how she is impressed that I am always dating someone. have no idea what that means... it means she wants to get in your pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingGibbs Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 GSF and King: First of all, when he told me that he was in love with me... I DID cut off all contact with him. He was the one that pursued the friendship by coming to my work and the likes. We are still best friends, and I do NOT use him. Everything is paid 50/50 (or perhaps I even pay for more than my share for the simple reason... I DO NOT want to lead him on in ANY way!) Poor guy? HARDLY! If he is hurting, then he is doing it to himself. We have discussed this many times once he declared his feelings, and it always ended with him saying that he had rather have my friendship than nothing at all. His decision! I did not force it upon him. Is it so wrong to enjoy someone's company so much that you are willing to lay your feelings aside? Umm... NO! I know women who do it all the time, but somehow when a man does it... The woman must be using him or labeled a trifling *****! When we are together, we laugh almost non-stop. Our religious, political, and social beliefs are almost identical with each other. This makes for good conversation, in my opinion. Our personalities and styles compliment the other. Shoot... He has even asked me to help him find another woman so that he could move on (farther than what he has already), and I am more than happy to oblige him. So, before you start calling me naive and/or a user... Check your own inventory and see where your line of thinking comes from! Your prejudice and judgmental attitude is NOT welcome! I accept your apology in advance! Who's calling you a trifling *****? All I know is that you come off as a very defensive person in the short time you have been a member. Case in point? Your thread involving the bus incident. You asked for opinions and if you didn't hear the answer that suited your needs, you immediately lambasted that person, myself included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinklein Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Can't help you too much there. 8-9 years younger than me is 9-10 years old. Slightly weird. However...its a different story for you. If they're as hot as you say they are...GO FOR IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Mike Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Should I be crude and walk away from a perfectly great friendship... Leaving him bitter against women? You accused me of using him or being naive. That is so far from the truth, it isn't even funny. Do I like the attention I get from him? I enjoy his friendship and banter. We used to hang out almost on a daily basis until he shared with me his feelings. Now, that time is cut back drastically. Why? Because I do NOT want to lead him on! I cannot stress that enough. I happen to be from the school of honesty. That is where no matter how much it hurts... Blatant honesty is the best way to go. Once it is put out there... What you do from there is YOUR choice! And just because you are a male does not give you the authority to speak for all males! Not all men (or women) allow their emotions to dictate thier friendships and relationships. And by the way, I still accept your apology for your judgemental remarks! Don't let these guys get to you. It's like listening to fools talk about what a coach should do with a player when they havent been there for practice, havent been in the film room, and never been a coach. I'm sure you know best where your relationship with this dude stands and how best to handle it. I can say that I have been that guy and you know what? Guys can get over it and move on, we can even be friends. That is if we arent as imature as these guys giving you a hard time seem to be. And guys, quit being such jerks. You don't know this girl. You don't know the guy. So shut up and worry about your own lives and quit trying to put your issues off on someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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