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Dating younger women...


Air Force Cane

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I am 35, friends with two gals who are in their mid twenties. We hang out, go to dinner, concerts, movies and the Kennedy Center. I don't pursue them because I don't want to be thought of as a dirty old guy but they email me out of the blue. So far in the "friend" zone.

Just wondering if anyone has gone from friend to more than that with women who are 8-9 years younger than they are...

oh yeah, one is SMOKING hot, the other pretty hot. that makes a big difference in the analysis I think :doh:

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I am 35, friends with two gals who are in their mid twenties. We hang out, go to dinner, concerts, movies and the Kennedy Center. I don't pursue them because I don't want to be thought of as a dirty old guy but they email me out of the blue. So far in the "friend" zone.

Just wondering if anyone has gone from friend to more than that with women who are 8-9 years younger than they are...

oh yeah, one is SMOKING hot, the other pretty hot. that makes a big difference in the analysis I think :doh:

8-9 Years you kidding me? They probably think your their "Gay Friend" ;) because you wont make a move ;)

I think 25 and 35 can date :)

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Why should it be an issue? I have never been hung up on age either way, and I have a few friends who married girls 10+ years yonger. It has to do with the maturity level of guys and girls IMO. Many girls around 27 have the same mentality of a man your age. Some are ready to settle down, and the guys usually are sick of the meat market scene, so it is a good fit. Just my opinion, but there is nothing wrong with it. . . Now if you are talking about a 60+ year difference (think Anna Nicole) then yes, there may be a few "issues".

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Now for an opinion from the other side... I am a girl in my mid-twenties, and happen to LOVE older men! Why? MATURITY and STABILITY! (As I get older, my view of older men may be slightly changing though - lol). They aren't always more mature! Anyway, before I digress... This trend is MUCH more acceptable today, and with only that minute gap in age... I doubt you get any peculiar stares.

However, if the age gap spans more than fifteen years (give or take a few)… People will start to make comments and possibly even give a look or two. For instance, my best friend is a fifty-one year old male. He is completely in love with me, but the only love I feel for him is that of a friend (which he knows and accepts). Anyway, when we go out to dinner or a movie… or anywhere in public… People assume he is my father. When we feel like correcting them, they are either completely embarrassed or somewhat taken back from the age difference. If he weren’t in love with me, I would have a lot of fun with it. But unfortunately, because of his feelings… That would only hurt him. L I have asked him how it makes him feel when people respond the way they do, and he simply doesn’t care because he doesn’t allow it to be an issue for him. He is comfortable with himself, and doesn’t seek approval from others. I suggest you not either. Just do what works for you. I promise you that the only way this will be an issue is if you make it one.

So, my advice to you is… GO FOR IT & HAVE FUN!

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Now for an opinion from the other side... I am a girl in my mid-twenties, and happen to LOVE older men! Why? MATURITY and STABILITY! (As I get older, my view of older men may be slightly changing though - lol). They aren't always more mature! Anyway, before I digress... This trend is MUCH more acceptable today, and with only that minute gap in age... I doubt you get any peculiar stares.

However, if the age gap spans more than fifteen years (give or take a few)… People will start to make comments and possibly even give a look or two. For instance, my best friend is a fifty-one year old male. He is completely in love with me, but the only love I feel for him is that of a friend (which he knows and accepts). Anyway, when we go out to dinner or a movie… or anywhere in public… People assume he is my father. When we feel like correcting them, they are either completely embarrassed or somewhat taken back from the age difference. If he weren’t in love with me, I would have a lot of fun with it. But unfortunately, because of his feelings… That would only hurt him. L I have asked him how it makes him feel when people respond the way they do, and he simply doesn’t care because he doesn’t allow it to be an issue for him. He is comfortable with himself, and doesn’t seek approval from others. I suggest you not either. Just do what works for you. I promise you that the only way this will be an issue is if you make it one.

So, my advice to you is… GO FOR IT & HAVE FUN!

A couple of things about your post seem a little strange. You say this guy is your best friend, but that you know he is completely in love with you. You then say that you don't have fun with people b/c you don't want to hurt your friend b/c of his feelings, but you let him take you to the movies and dinner.

You are either using this poor old guy or very naive. There are very few people in this world that can be "best friends" with someone they are "completely in love with". You don't think you're hurting this guy, but you are.

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A couple of things about your post seem a little strange. You say this guy is your best friend, but that you know he is completely in love with you. You then say that you don't have fun with people b/c you don't want to hurt your friend b/c of his feelings, but you let him take you to the movies and dinner.

You are either using this poor old guy or very naive. There are very few people in this world that can be "best friends" with someone they are "completely in love with". You don't think you're hurting this guy, but you are.

I didn't want to sound like a jerk, but my thoughts exactly. Thanks for taking the lead GSF. :laugh:

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i actually have some pics of them but being an officer and a gentleman- I could never post pics on an internet site :cop:

anyway, the point is not as much "can I" but "how"..when i was 29 I had a 22 year old girlfriend for two years. the problem is that I don't want to scare this one off.

she is very hot, but without the attitude of previous hot girlfriends. she is really sweet and I would definitely not be happy about just being friends. that is pretty much impossible for most males unless you are not remotely attracted to the woman.

I think she thinks of me as just a nice guy, not anything romantic. she just emailed me out of the blue at the new year. so we are chatting, her mom just moved near my folks.

we talked about going out and doing something fun. she also mentioned how awful she is at dating and how she is impressed that I am always dating someone. have no idea what that means...

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i would ask. When i first started dating my girlfriend i didnt know where we stood with each other, i really liked her and had a blast, and she texted me and talked to me online a lot, but i didnt know to what degree it was reciprocated. to that point it had been lunch/dinner laugh laugh laugh, and a goodnight kiss on the cheeck. One day I just told her how I felt about her and said that i wanted to pursue a relationship with her. I lucked out and she felt the same about me.

We've all been stuck in the friend zone, and it sucks, but it sucks even more if you're emotionally attached to them as opposed to just attracted too.

Ask to see where they stand with you. whatever their answer is, you know where to go as opposed to wondering.......

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My brand new wife is 10 years younger than I. We have absolutely no issues at all (regarding ages, at least). Its wonderful that I am the immature one, even at my advanced age. Things are wonderful being an old fogey and being married to a young hottie. WOO HOO --

HTTR

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