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Norman Chad: There’s no lack of stupidity in sports


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This article made me laugh

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/norman-chad-stupidity-in-sports/2011/07/16/gIQAlNVVKI_story.html

As part of a new continuing series — funded in part by the Smithsonian Institution, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, the Heritage Foundation, the Center for Strategic and International Studies and In-n-Out Burger — Couch Slouch brings you the first installment of “Stupidest Things in Sports”:

State troopers escorting the coach as he leaves the football field. Throughout the course of history, I understand when polarizing political figures — Napoleon, Mussolini, Gandhi, Sarah Palin, et al — are heavily protected in public arenas. But football coaches? I’m sure Bob Stoops knows the way to the locker room by now. Considering the state of the economy, aren’t there better ways for our tax dollars to be at work? Frankly, I’d rather see a state trooper getting a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts than running alongside Mack Brown through a stadium tunnel.

“Quiet Please” signs at golf tournaments. Kobe Bryant can make free throws at the end of a basketball game with 15,000 fans screaming and waving stuff behind the basket, but Matt Kuchar can’t putt unless he’s in the freakin’ library? Olympic gymnasts can perform intricate moves on a four-inch-wide balance beam with a flurry of activity around them and crowds cheering floor-exercise routines, but Steve Stricker can’t hit a 5-iron unless he’s in a Broadway theater? Hey, the ball doesn’t move. The hole doesn’t move. Step up and play, pal.

The guy whose job is to squirt water into football players’ mouths. You’ve seen it a thousand times — during a timeout, some fella comes over to the players and squirts water into their mouths. Uh, really? Take the wide receivers — they have great hands; they can’t manage a plastic bottle? There are no hazardous materials or sharp objects here. It’s not like asking Itzhak Perlman to shuck oysters. Geez. Okay, so they don’t want to squirt their own water; would it kill them to catch the ball once in a while?

Baseball managers wearing a uniform. Granted, a baseball dugout is not the board room of Goldman Sachs or the sales floor of a Lexus dealership; it’s not even as dignified as courtside at a basketball game. But the sight of these 50-, 60- and even 80-year-old men — yes, you Jack McKeon — donning the play clothes of their players is laughable. Now, they don’t have to go full-throttle, Armani-suit Pat Riley on us, but I wouldn’t mind seeing a manager or two in a nice golf shirt and khakis for a change.

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Stupid article.

Especially the one about managers not wearing uniforms. What the hell does the author EXPECT them to wear? Managers would look stupid wearing suits (one used to do it back in the day).

The one about giving water to players is dumb, too.

The golf one is pretty dumb, as well. Although I do think its a little obsurd how some players act (Tiger Woods) to the least bit of noise or whatnot.

Edit: Just saw at the bottom where he said polo or something. Still stupid.

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Kind of agree on the golf one. Working at a golf course, and playing golf myself, I think that the quietness required in golf is overrated. Always pissed me off when some stuck up dude would hit a bad drive and blame it on a bird chirping, or someone coughing, when his last four shots ended up in the woods. It shouldn't be a rock concert, but soft chatter going on in the background, or an electric cart rolling up shouldn't throw off your game that much.

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:ols:

Coach-speak on football broadcasts, a.k.a “Grudenese” or “Jaworskification.” “They were in max protect.” (This sounds like an ad slogan for Trojan condoms.)

That was a pretty good little article there.

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Baseball managers wearing uniforms IS dumb.

What other sport has their coaches wearing a jersey? It looks dumb. Especially with the old guys and their enormous beer guts. No one wants to see them in tight pants.

C'mon, Most of them don't wear tight ones. I don't see anything wrong with it. You can't compare it to other sports. They would look stupid in a suit, or even a polo, imo. Baseball has it right there.

Now if only they'd get rid of the all star game winner receiving homefield. UGH. So damn stupid. And that's coming from a Braves fan, who have a pretty good shot to make the WS.

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C'mon, Most of them don't wear tight ones. I don't see anything wrong with it. You can't compare it to other sports. They would look stupid in a suit, or even a polo, imo. Baseball has it right there.

Now if only they'd get rid of the all star game winner receiving homefield. UGH. So damn stupid. And that's coming from a Braves fan, who have a pretty good shot to make the WS.

I think the rest of the sports have it just fine. Its really weird that baseball has them wear uniforms...but I honestly don't really care.

And yes, the All-Star game deciding home field advantage is AWFUL. I get that they wanted it to be important and wanted players to care but COME ON. Give it to the team with the better record.

---------- Post added July-17th-2011 at 10:54 PM ----------

Okay, let's get one thing straightened out: managers HAVE to wear uniforms. It's a rule.

Its a dumb rule.

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Kind of agree on the golf one. Working at a golf course' date=' and playing golf myself, I think that the quietness required in golf is overrated. Always pissed me off when some stuck up dude would hit a bad drive and blame it on a bird chirping, or someone coughing, when his last four shots ended up in the woods. It shouldn't be a rock concert, but soft chatter going on in the background, or an electric cart rolling up shouldn't throw off your game that much.[/quote']

I'd agree with this.

I'm not the best golfer by any means, but I like to play it whenever I get the chance. I understand that at it's a game of intense concentration and mental endurance, especially over 18 holes, and especially when playing at a very high level.

But too many people use the noise thing as just an excuse for the fact that they're simply not as good as they'd like to believe they are. I have friends who are that way, and even my dad is pretty awful about it. A passenger jet flying overhead while teeing off probably isn't the reason you sliced it into the trees instead of driving it 275 yards straight down the middle of the fairway, when that's a semi-common occurrence with your swing anyway.

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I think he should stick to doing card tournament's with his corny jokes..

If he was serious about ..

The guy whose job is to squirt water into football players’ mouths. You’ve seen it a thousand times — during a timeout, some fella comes over to the players and squirts water into their mouths. Uh, really? Take the wide receivers — they have great hands; they can’t manage a plastic bottle? There are no hazardous materials or sharp objects here. It’s not like asking Itzhak Perlman to shuck oysters. Geez. Okay, so they don’t want to squirt their own water; would it kill them to catch the ball once in a while?

Then he needs to just STFU...its obvious he has never played a down of football in his life...hey Chad..you go try running around a football field for a while..then tell me you want to grab something like a bottle...the only thing he would be catching or wanting was his breath :ols: Hell I bet if he was the water boy, he wouldn't make it out to the huddle during timeouts hehe

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Its a dumb rule.

I disagree. Managers wearing uniforms is something they started doing on their own. A baseball uniform is also not the same as uniforms in other sports. It's a shirt and pants, not pads, helmets, shorts or anything else like that.

On top of that, they would look silly when they walked out onto the field. I recall reading once that Connie Mack never walked on the field, and instead had coaches who were wearing uniforms deal with pitching changes/arguments etc.

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I think baseball managers wearing uniforms is just as stupid and silly as football coaches not being able to wear a suit for every game.

fullnelson, Imagine Phil Jackson in his 70's style uni coaching from the sidelines.

It's stupid in every way.

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If Kirby Puckett (RIP), Tony Gwynn and Prince Fielder wear/wore uniforms, there's no reason a hefty manager can't. I don't have a problem with that at all. And I think a dressed-up manager would look more than a little goofy. Hell, even little league coaches wear their team colors and ballcaps. If they're going to be that serious about it, then why not major league managers?

I don't think Chad was trying to start any grand debate in any of the areas he covered. It was intended to be funny. And it was.

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I disagree. Managers wearing uniforms is something they started doing on their own. A baseball uniform is also not the same as uniforms in other sports. It's a shirt and pants, not pads, helmets, shorts or anything else like that.

On top of that, they would look silly when they walked out onto the field. I recall reading once that Connie Mack never walked on the field, and instead had coaches who were wearing uniforms deal with pitching changes/arguments etc.

If Kirby Puckett (RIP), Tony Gwynn and Prince Fielder wear/wore uniforms, there's no reason a hefty manager can't. I don't have a problem with that at all. And I think a dressed-up manager would look more than a little goofy. Hell, even little league coaches wear their team colors and ballcaps. If they're going to be that serious about it, then why not major league managers?

I don't think Chad was trying to start any grand debate in any of the areas he covered. It was intended to be funny. And it was.

I don't think baseball managers would look any worse than football coaches who wear khakis and a team polo. Hockey/basketball coaches wear suits but they're inside, I don't think baseball should follow suit (ZING) because its too hot out when the season starts for guys to be wearing suits...but I don't see why baseball is different from football. Never have understood the baseball managers in uniform thing, I like what Terry Francona does--wearing a warmup jacket type thing over his uniform. Just looks more...normal I guess?

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