Kosher Ham Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/19/magazine/my-ex-gay-friend.html ...Many young gay men looked up to him. He and his boyfriend at the time, Ben, who also worked at the magazine, made a handsome pair — but their appeal went deeper. On weekends we would go to raves together, and I would watch as gay boys gravitated toward the couple. Michael and Ben seemed unburdened (by shame, by self-doubt) and unapologetically pursued what the writer Paul Monette called the uniquely gay experience of “flagrant joy.” But unlike some of our friends who rode the flagrant joy train all the way to rehab, Michael and Ben rarely seemed out of control. There was a balance — a wisdom — to their quest for intense, authentic experience. Together they seemed to have figured out how to be young, gay and happy. I thought about those times as I pulled my rental car into the Wyoming town where Michael now lives. A lot had happened in the decade since we last saw each other: he and Ben started a new gay magazine (Young Gay America, or Y.G.A.); they traveled the country for a documentary about gay teenagers; and Michael was fast becoming the leading voice for gay youth until the day, in July 2007, when he announced that he was no longer gay. ... Pretty interesting read (Click the link it's too long to post). I have known straight guys that have come out as gay after many years, but not the other way around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Homosexuality came easy to me, because I was already weak or perhaps conforming and "becoming" straight happened because you're weak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble Screen Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 Is this a coming out thread?:whoknows: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 or perhaps conforming and "becoming" straight happened because you're weak. i'm sure you know better than him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 haha. Read the article Bubble. It's strange to me. Reading the title, I thought the guy had stopped being friends with the other person because they came out. Not the other way around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enter Apotheosis Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 I think this summed up the article rather nicely... Ben nodded. “A radical queer activist and a fundamentalist Christian aren’t always as different as they might seem,” he said, adding that they’re ideologues who can railroad over nuance and claim a monopoly on the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 I think this summed up the article rather nicely... I liked this part : Ben went on. “To me, Michael is a victim of this insane society we live in, where we grow up with all these conflicting messages and pressures around sexuality and religion, and where we divide into these camps where we’re always right and the other side is always wrong. Some people are susceptible to buying into that, and I think Michael is one of them.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I think this summed up the article rather nicely... A lot of truth in that quote in my experience,gray is inconvienent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCSaints_fan Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Seems like he's still gay (i.e., he is still sexually attracted to men), but he is not a "practicing" gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DallasBlowsBig Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have seen this in church, gay people that become straight. I don't care what anyone says, saying that you are born gay is a lie from the pit of hell. The people I heard become straight have said the same things, they felt like they were being let out of a years of a prison sentence. That's why as funny as it may seem, don't bash a gay person because a lot of them were sexually abused as kids and this caused them to become mentally unstable. We will never know the pain and suffering these people go through in their minds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unforgiven Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have seen this in church, gay people that become straight. I don't care what anyone says, saying that you are born gay is a lie from the pit of hell. Ben nodded. “A radical queer activist and a fundamentalist Christian aren’t always as different as they might seem,” he said, adding that they’re ideologues who can railroad over nuance and claim a monopoly on the truth. I couldn't help it...sorry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.A.C.O.L.B. Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Yes, gay people live in such a wonderful and accepting world. I'm not sure why everyone just doesn't choose to be gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartacus87 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have seen this in church, gay people that become straight. I don't care what anyone says, saying that you are born gay is a lie from the pit of hell. The people I heard become straight have said the same things, they felt like they were being let out of a years of a prison sentence. That's why as funny as it may seem, don't bash a gay person because a lot of them were sexually abused as kids and this caused them to become mentally unstable. We will never know the pain and suffering these people go through in their minds. I never really understand the argument that people just "choose" to be gay, they can't simply be born gay. Doesn't seem like a very easy lifestyle to "choose" to enter into. The part about a lot of gay people being sexually abused as kids, which in turn created mental instability for them...I'll just let that go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fullnelson9999 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have seen this in church, gay people that become straight. I don't care what anyone says, saying that you are born gay is a lie from the pit of hell. The people I heard become straight have said the same things, they felt like they were being let out of a years of a prison sentence. That's why as funny as it may seem, don't bash a gay person because a lot of them were sexually abused as kids and this caused them to become mentally unstable. We will never know the pain and suffering these people go through in their minds. I have a gay friend. He says he's known since as far back as he can remember. I'm sure that at the age of 5, he decided to become gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enter Apotheosis Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have seen this in church, gay people that become straight. I don't care what anyone says, saying that you are born gay is a lie from the pit of hell. The people I heard become straight have said the same things, they felt like they were being let out of a years of a prison sentence. The nature of gender identity and sexuality is far too complex to be divined from the testimonials of a scant handful of people. People's experiences may differ dramatically. That's why as funny as it may seem, don't bash a gay person because a lot of them were sexually abused as kids and this caused them to become mentally unstable. We will never know the pain and suffering these people go through in their minds. I might suggest that you define "a lot" and find statistics from an impartial source that back your claim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Blue Joe Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 or perhaps conforming and "becoming" straight happened because you're weak.Whoa. Isn't that a little heterophobic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I never really understand the argument that people just "choose" to be gay, they can't simply be born gay. Doesn't seem like a very easy lifestyle to "choose" to enter into. The super religious people who say that, say it because they know deep down that if they can be talked into something as crazy as living by the rules of religion every second of every day, they can probably be talked into being gay too, and just want to cover their bases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ACW Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 We will never know the pain and suffering these people go through in their minds.Much of it caused by asininity (haha, that's actually a real word) like your post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
street_lyte Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have a gay friend. He says he's known since as far back as he can remember. I'm sure that at the age of 5, he decided to become gay. I have a friend I knew was gay when we were both 9. I also have friends that slowly "perversed" their way into becoming gay. Most things in life are not black and white, they are usually somewhere in the middle. I think homosexuality is one of those things. There is enough anecdotal evidence for both sides (choosing/born) that it's almost pointless to argue, until someone comes forth with some monumental groundbreaking evidence that supports either side (or both). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mardi gras skin Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Obviously, the homosexual angle is most interesting, but reading the links to Glatze's articles, it seems that the real conversion has more to do with "lust" than sexual orientation. Glatze sees his own conversion as turning from lust. I think many people have had similar experiences, religious or not, where they kind of snap and reject feeding the beast. I've had several friends that needed to be high or buzzed or with as many girls as they could get go through similar transformations. They just snap. The thing they used to cope becomes controlling and they get repulsed by it. I don't have any experience with homosexuality and I don't understand enough about sexual orientation but the way he describes coping, lust, and rejection of that lust sounds pretty normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Seems like he's still gay (i.e., he is still sexually attracted to men), but he is not a "practicing" gay. Sex is an action, you can't be something if your not practicing. Though i guess you have a point if there was only homosexual sex and then nothing? Retired? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Sex is an action, you can't be something if your not practicing. Many of the advocates/apologists seek to define the person by it though.....a common theme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRSmith Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Sex is an action, you can't be something if your not practicing.Though i guess you have a point if there was only homosexual sex and then nothing? Retired? I am not having sex but am attracted to women am i no longer a hetrosexual? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffxdrummer Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 My fiance and I passed a car on 66 on Saturday morning. He had a big piece of posterboard in his rear window that said "I used to be gay, but Jesus saved me, now you can meet my WIFE" There were four "Jesus Saves" window flags, and he had his sunroof open with his right hand sticking straight up out of it pointing at the sky while he drove. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 I am not having sex but am attracted to women am i no longer a hetrosexual? Perhaps you are asexual or just practicing celibacy unwillingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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