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The new #1 who deserves a vicious beating (mods please move)


Spaceman Spiff

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Based on this old Phat Phree article, The 50 People Who Deserve a Vicious Beating: http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=1111&SectionID=1&LayoutType=1&StoryMonth=7&StoryYear=2005

This article is a bit old, some names still relevant, some never were (John Stamos?) and some of these names have slipped off the radar.

However, I submit to you, The Extremeskins Tailgate, a new candidate for #1...

spencerpratt_icon_060409.jpg

Words cannot express how badly I would enjoy bashing this guys face to a bloody pulp.

I don't watch MTV, I've never seen The Hills, so I had no idea who this giant bag of douche fluid was...But I saw him on that "I'm a celebrity get me out of here!" show and he was an idiot...since then I've seen him more and more and his ditz wife...and I cannot think there's a "famous" person who is a bigger waste of space and brings absolutely nothing to the table.

Today I sign into my myspace for the first time in awhile and what do I see on the front page? Spencer ****ing Pratt with a quote next to him saying "I'm the White Jay-Z".

So I had to click onto the article...

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Spencer Pratt on Rap, God, and Spencer Pratt

READ THE ARTICLE MY INTERVIEW WITH THE GOOD FOLKS AT SPIN.COM HERE

SEE BELOW FOR A SNEAK PEAK OF SOME OF WHAT I HAD TO SAY:

Why on earth would Spencer Pratt make a rap album?

To be honest, my whole life I've always been listening to rap music or reggae. But I never heard of rappers making billions of dollars, so being a rapper wasn't really in my crystal ball. It took people like 50 Cent to come along and, you know, he's on the Forbes list making $500 million, so I'm like, 'Wow, there can be a lot of money in this.'

So you're in it for the money.

This is what I say to people: I'm not in the music industry. I'm in show business. So when people are like, "What are you doing coming into the rap game?" That's the wrong question. I'm already in the game I'm in, and that's pop culture and entertainment. I'm not coming in saying, "Oh, I'm the truth, I'm the biggest lyricist ever to walk on the Earth." I'm not trying to make music that changes history. No one is doing that anymore. Music has become disposable. You're lucky if your song lasts a month. That's the state of the music industry right now.

Saying that you'll be making disposable rap doesn't make me want to run out and buy your music.

Let me be clear: I'm making phenomenally great music. "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" is one of the catchiest songs in years. I plan on making hit music, but I just don't believe that it's like when Eminem first came out with "Lose Yourself." I'm not trying to make an inspiring song right now. I'm just making what the market wants right now. Ringtone rap.

I read an interview where you referred to yourself as the "White Jay-Z." Seriously?

I have more street cred than any new dudes: I manage a professional fighter, King Kevin Casey -- who is also a hip-hop superstar -- and every single day I do MMA training with him where I have a 195-pound black belt in Brazilian Ju Jitsu try to punch me in the face. I know for a fact that Jay-Z in his whole life has never been for one hour in the situations I put myself in with my professional fighter.

I thought you were a lover, not a fighter.

I'll challenge pretty much anyone to a fight, if that's what is needed to prove my street cred. If it's about toughness, I'm tough. If it's about how many guns you have, nobody has more guns that me. If it's about ammo, nobody has more ammo than me. So when I say I'm the white Jay-Z, I'm just like, "So all this guy does is talk about all the expensive things he buys?" Well I buy expensive things and I'm 30 years younger. I was never a fan of Jay-Z. The only rapper I really was into was Tupac.

How good of a rapper are you?

Incredible. I have the biggest mouth on earth, so why wouldn't I be the best rapper -- you know what I mean?

Can you freestyle right now?

I mean, everybody keeps on asking me to freestyle. But I always say, "Please, I don't do freestyle, my goal out here is to get paid." The word "free" does not exist in Spencer Pratt's vocabulary.

Is it true that your rap nickname is going to be Great White?

I'm going with Great White. Once you get Great White in the game, he's growing each day and is gonna start eating people. That's why I love rap. You can come up with so many different names. This is what people need to realize: Since the 9th grade, I was referred to by my teachers and classmates as "Pratt Daddy." Then it became P. Diddy. I was there first. I have a thousand witnesses saying for years I was known as P. Diddy. Diddy has taken that and done his thing with that.

I don't know much about Jay-Z, but IIRC, he was a dealer back in the day before he became a rapper. Therefore I have a hint that he just MIGHT have been through some rougher things than Spencer Pratt's one hour makeout session with an MMA fighter.

Can anyone top Spencer Pratt? Does anyone on earth deserve a bigger beatdown than him?

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For bringing that Pratt into the tailgate, perhaps it is you who deserve anhilation, SS

;)

Spensor's ancestors knew what they were doing when they named themselves Pratt, didn't they?

Know what, Burgold? I'd happily take a vicious beating of my own if it meant Pratt was going to get one. I wouldn't think twice.

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I just read that interview and I'd like to do to him what the german guy did to John McClane in Die Hard with a Vengeance.

Put him smack dab in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says what it says in the movie.

That will teach him. What an imbocile.

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I'm gonna go with Bill Maher or Michael Moore. Maybe throw Joe Buck in there too. Nancy Pelosi? Why Not. That phatfree website is blocked at my work, so I couldn't see that list.

This would be a good nominations/poll thread, kind of like the hottest women/best tv show ones. It would be pretty fun to come up with our own list. Someone should make it happen.

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