cjcdaman Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I won't go into detail, but basically my son hates to lose. Whether it be video games, board games, etc. We just finished a game of Madden '08(just got an XBox 360) and I beat him. I even called run defenses on his passing plays, etc. to give him an "edge" but it just seems like the Skins cannot be beat. Anyway, he basically lost it when I was up by a few scores with a few minutes left when I intercepted a pass. This isn't a sob story or a plea for help. I think I discussed it with him the right way. I'm just looking for tips or whatever advice other parents may have and/or people on this board who coach childrens' sports. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVUforREDSKINS Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I won't go into detail, but basically my son hates to lose. Whether it be video games, board games, etc. We just finished a game of Madden '08(just got an XBox 360) and I beat him. I even called run defenses on his passing plays, etc. to give him an "edge" but it just seems like the Skins cannot be beat. Anyway, he basically lost it when I was up by a few scores with a few minutes left when I intercepted a pass. This isn't a sob story or a plea for help. I think I discussed it with him the right way. I'm just looking for tips or whatever advice other parents may have and/or people on this board who coach childrens' sports. Thanks. Sorry no advice. Maybe just tell him the Skins are that good. You're 28. How old is your son? I hate to lose more than I like to win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the burgundy and gold Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 i used to have that problem too, and still do slightly. But i just think i'm competitive. I suggest either tell him you're not giogn to play with him anymore unless he acts the right way and isn't a sore loser. Or i would suggest trying to change the subject as soon as the game ends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Talk more trash and make him feel bad and let it be known how it is to be on the opposite side Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Williams Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I designed a special defense when playing my wife...... I go into custom playbook and I use only 2 down lineman and 9 db's ALL playing deep zone.... she "wins" everytime.....lol ------ Then I bust out the locked up memory card and full playbook for those who actually think they have a remote chance of beating me str8 up.... I've being working my teams playbook into madden since 03 so I know it on the field and in the game.....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjcdaman Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 Sorry no advice. Maybe just tell him the Skins are that good.You're 28. How old is your son? I hate to lose more than I like to win. He's 7. He'll be 8 in April. I totally agree. I absolutely hate to lose. He asked me afterwards why I didn't "let" him score touchdowns. Honestly, I cannot remember my dad EVER "letting" me win at ANYTHING. He basically said I would have to beat him. :laugh: I secretly tried to let my son win, although I did tell him that I will not "let" him win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Simply explain to him that daddy's an a-hole who makes up for his own insecurities by beating up on his son in video games. Further, explain to him that with a little less effort, and the use of alcohol and illicit drugs, he too can achieve such sad and pathetic goals. j/k bro... If your son is, oh, five or six, or older, then losing is a good thing for him to experience every once in a while. I really take issue with thigns like AYSO Soccer, where nobody 'loses,' etc. Competition is healthy, even for young kids. And so is getting a feel for defeat...especially in something that ultimately doesn't matter. Now, if you're beating him 84-0 all the time, well that sucks, and you're a bad father. :laugh: But seriously. Throw the kid a bone once in a while, take one for the team, and he'll be just fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GibbsFactor Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I won't go into detail, but basically my son hates to lose. Whether it be video games, board games, etc. We just finished a game of Madden '08(just got an XBox 360) and I beat him. I even called run defenses on his passing plays, etc. to give him an "edge" but it just seems like the Skins cannot be beat. Anyway, he basically lost it when I was up by a few scores with a few minutes left when I intercepted a pass. This isn't a sob story or a plea for help. I think I discussed it with him the right way. I'm just looking for tips or whatever advice other parents may have and/or people on this board who coach childrens' sports. Thanks. I have the same problem with my boy. Is yours a lonely child? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 do you stress winning when he plays youth sports? Dont emphasize that as much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjcdaman Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 If your son is, oh, five or six, or older, then losing is a good thing for him to experience every once in a while. I really take issue with thigns like AYSO Soccer, where nobody 'loses,' etc. Competition is healthy, even for young kids. And so is getting a feel for defeat...especially in something that ultimately doesn't matter. Now, if you're beating him 84-0 all the time, well that sucks, and you're a bad father. :laugh: But seriously. Throw the kid a bone once in a while, take one for the team, and he'll be just fine. As for the first two paragraphs, I totally agree. As for the last paragraph, I beat him by like 3 touchdowns. I was honestly trying to play like crap to let him win. I just don't think it would be the right thing to tell him I am letting him win . . . or even worse letting him score and do good after crying and pouting about losing. I have the same problem with my boy. Is yours a lonely child? What exactly do you mean by lonely? He is an only child. He has several friends. Do you mean personality-wise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GibbsFactor Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I meant "only" child. :doh: I put him in time out and take privledges away from him. I let him win on occasion but not very often. He's 9 now and it's not as bad as it was. I was out playing football with him and some neighborhood kids 2 years ago and he just lost it when I passed a TD to one of his friends. It was embarrasing. It's unbelievable the way he acted. I disciplined him the best I knew how. I was told it's because he's competitive, wants to prove he's worthy and that he's an only child. I've also been told it's not a bad attribute to have as long as he can learn to moderate it. It's a temper combined with competitive edge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 He's 7. He'll be 8 in April. I totally agree. I absolutely hate to lose. He asked me afterwards why I didn't "let" him score touchdowns. Honestly, I cannot remember my dad EVER "letting" me win at ANYTHING. He basically said I would have to beat him. :laugh: I secretly tried to let my son win, although I did tell him that I will not "let" him win. that's how i learned how to play chess, my dad would go all-out every time. it just makes it that much better when you win for the first time. the sense of accomplishment you get from truly beating your old man is a pretty great one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I meant "only" child. :doh: Freudian slip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMK9973 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 He's 7. He'll be 8 in April. I totally agree. I absolutely hate to lose. He asked me afterwards why I didn't "let" him score touchdowns. Honestly, I cannot remember my dad EVER "letting" me win at ANYTHING. He basically said I would have to beat him. :laugh: I secretly tried to let my son win, although I did tell him that I will not "let" him win. Yeah -I didnt' ever think my Dad let me win at anything eaither... No I think back. My dad was the most unatheltic and dumbest man alive, or he let me win sometimes when I was little. My son will tell you I never let him win. Yet somehow - He wins a lot. My son has the same issue. We play football or something and he gets REALLY mad when he loses and goes nuts. So - I've taught him the concept of 2 out of 3, or best of 9, etc.... This way - He loses sometimes, but "wins" the championship. Now - this is just between father and son. He plays a lot of youth sports or pick up games with is friends. He loses sometimes. He doesn't get to upset. He gets a little upset, but handles it the right way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 As for the first two paragraphs, I totally agree. As for the last paragraph, I beat him by like 3 touchdowns. I was honestly trying to play like crap to let him win. I just don't think it would be the right thing to tell him I am letting him win . . . or even worse letting him score and do good after crying and pouting about losing. Trust me, I understand where you're coming from. And no, of course you shouldn't tell him you let him win. We've all played Candyland with a 3-year old, and done the "Ohhhh maaaan, you beat me agaaiin!" thing. Obviously, you don't have to play it up like that with an eight year old, but throw him one every once in a while. You know as well as I do, there are ways to pull it off without making it obvious. Ultimately, hating to lose is a good thing if you can be a sport about it. Afterall, that's what motivates us to do better at everything. And hell, if he gets a taste of a couple of "W's" that can can be a damn good motivator too. Might not be long before he's letting YOU win once in a while. :laugh: And this might sound stupid, but make him shake your hand after losing. Seriously. Teach him to accept it like a (albeit young) man. If he doesn't, then you can decide on consequences. But I think you both have the potential to learn here. Take advantage of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojobo Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Theres a good way of being competitive and a bad way. If you lose and you want to get better because of it then that is good. If you lose and you get mad at your opponent or blame your teammates while taking no personal blame or initiative then it is bad. I don't know if you want your son playing video games all day but tell him to keep playing madden to try to get better at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjcdaman Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 And this might sound stupid, but make him shake your hand after losing. Seriously. Teach him to accept it like a (albeit young) man. If he doesn't, then you can decide on consequences. But I think you both have the potential to learn here. Take advantage of it. That's not stupid at all. I haven't used it yet for video games, but I will now. Good idea. I have definitely used it for H-O-R-S-E in basketball, though. But, I don't have to let him win at basketball. He usually beats me straight up. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVUforREDSKINS Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 That's not stupid at all. I haven't used it yet for video games, but I will now. Good idea. I have definitely used it for H-O-R-S-E in basketball, though. But, I don't have to let him win at basketball. He usually beats me straight up. :laugh: and he is 8 years old? You ought to be ashamed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I used to beat up on brother Utah all the time in video games when he was the same age. I remember doing so and actually trying to lose as well sometimes. He would go postal about losing. I wanted to teach him about being competitive, to strive to be better. Told him if he was going to beat me, he would have to practice, (another lesson in there). Of course, he took this to heart and I all but had to drag him away just to do his homework. Like h_h though, I also taught him good sportsmanship. I also wanted to make him realize that losing was part of the deal. Didn't ask him to like it, but just to know it was a reality in life and that it happens. Tough lessons, but he learned them well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoSkins561 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 He's 7. He'll be 8 in April. I totally agree. I absolutely hate to lose. He asked me afterwards why I didn't "let" him score touchdowns. Honestly, I cannot remember my dad EVER "letting" me win at ANYTHING. He basically said I would have to beat him. :laugh: I secretly tried to let my son win, although I did tell him that I will not "let" him win. I think that's great. Winning comes from hard work, it isn't given. The one thing you might want to teach him is how to take it like a man, stand up and say "good game". Learning sportsmanship goes a long way and in the long run will earn him a lot of respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldysknzfn1 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I won't go into detail, but basically my son hates to lose. Whether it be video games, board games, etc. We just finished a game of Madden '08(just got an XBox 360) and I beat him. I even called run defenses on his passing plays, etc. to give him an "edge" but it just seems like the Skins cannot be beat. Anyway, he basically lost it when I was up by a few scores with a few minutes left when I intercepted a pass. This isn't a sob story or a plea for help. I think I discussed it with him the right way. I'm just looking for tips or whatever advice other parents may have and/or people on this board who coach childrens' sports. Thanks. My son was like this also. After he turned 11y/o...he wasn't like that anymore. He'll learn that he can't/won't always win. I think my son figured this out actually after playing 2 years of rec basketball in 2001-2003. He had a wonderful coach and he somehow got Derrick to not be so ticked if they didn't win every game. I don't know how he did that..but it worked. Maybe team sports would help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I don't know if this helps, as I'm kind of old now, but I had a definite competitive streak for years. It would be especially bad when I was playing with friends. BTW, I'm an only child, and I think that definitely made it worse, because I was never told not to do certain things. For instance, one of my family friends was four years younger than me, and everytime he beat me in a video game (which wasn't often ), I would beat the living daylights out of him. When I got to college, this didn't stop, and I didn't have anyone to beat up on. So I started breaking controllers in video games, and cussing very loudly and becoming visibly angry in real games. I don't know what happened, but I matured. I definitely think that if you teach your kid at a young age how to deal with losing and playing poorly, it can help a lot. It might even make them use their anger to better themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 He's gotta know that he can't win 'em all. Point out his favorite athlete or team and show him how they're not perfect. No one bats 1.000, no one shoots 100% from the field, no one scores a touchdown on every play and no one wins all their games... I never understood that mentality. I'm as competitive as anyone else, but even when I was a teenager and saw kids on my team crying after striking out, I couldn't identify with it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJeremy Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 It must be the age...my son is doing the same thing and he is 8. I try to teach him good sportsmanship at everything. Like H_H suggested...If I win I tell him he needs to tell me good game and shake my hand. If he wins then I will do the same. Also, using PCS advice about practice is what I also tell him. You want to beat me....practice. Competitive nature is a good thing but a Sore Loser needs an attitude adjustment. If he starts throwing a fit I tell him.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shilsu Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Next time do a victory dance in your living room and chokeslam your son through the coffee table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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