Jumbo Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 All this talk of Dallas fans and trailer parks and Piggly Wiggly etc. made me nostalgic for an old favorite of mine that I haven't posted for awhile. Dallas Fan Haiku BEAUTY Naked in repose Silvery silhouette girls Adorn my mudflaps REMORSE A painful sadness Can't fit Big Screen TV through Double-wide's front door OPTIONS Unemployment's out Hey, maybe I can git on Disability BLAZE Distant sirens scream Dumb-ass Vern's been mowing with Gasoline again A NEW MOON Flashlights pierce darkness No nightcrawlers to be found Guess we'll dig some frogs EXUBERANCE Joyous, playful, bright Trailer park girl rolls in puddle Of old motor oil ALONE Seeking solitude Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for Restraining order DESIRE Damn, in that tube-top You make me almost forget That you're my cousin HATRED I curse the rainbow Emblazoned upon his hood Damn Jeff Gordon DRAMA Set the VCR Dukes of Hazard Marathon Starts at 9 o'clock DEPRIVED In Wal-Mart toy aisle Wailing boy wants rasslin doll Mama whups his ass NO SIGNAL White noise, buzzing static Call Earl; the satellite dish Needs new descrambler IMPOUNDED Sixty five dollars And cyclone fence keeps me from My El Camino GATHERING In early morning mist Mama searches Circle K for Moon Pies and Red Man PRIDE Grinning, he displays The nine hundred beer cans that Fill his pick-up bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 DESIRE DEPRIVED In Wal-Mart toy aisle Wailing boy wants rasslin doll Mama whups his ass :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Ahrrgh, I definitely should not have had those 4 glasses of loaded ice tea. Now I can't go to sleep. Thank god I'm off tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Damn motifake.com, it has stopped working! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ixcuincle Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Isn't it like 5 AM there It's 7:16 AM here and I still feel like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Yep. Have to open the place this a.m.,(No 5:30 a.m. to be exact. And folks will be waiting at 5:20 to get in to work out. :yawnee: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdskn4Lyf21 Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 My iPhone will arrive tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ixcuincle Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Enjoy that phone bK3CrCIV1XI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissance Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Why do US pro sports leagues refer to their champs as "World Champions"? Why do homeless people at the metro always say they need change to get back to the shelter? How did you get so far from the shelter in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Why do US pro sports leagues refer to their champs as "World Champions"?Why do homeless people at the metro always say they need change to get back to the shelter? How did you get so far from the shelter in the first place? Why did my parents give me the middle name Reeses, like the candy? Why do people tailgate me when I'm doing 78 mph in a 55 mph zone? Why do some people hate anything that they don't love? Why do people still find "rick rolling" funny? Why have'nt I ever seen an episode of Lost? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Why do fools fall in love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarrellsMyHero28 Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Why do fools fall in love? ooooo wah, ooooo wah, ooooh wah, oooooh wah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Why do US pro sports leagues refer to their champs as "World Champions"? Because we're the best in the world at everything that matters. Football....Basketball....Blowing **** up.... I forget who the comedian was who deserves the credit, but it reminds me of the guy who said, "Didja ever notice that the winner of the Miss Universe Pageant is always from earth?" :pfft: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebluefood Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 I wonder. I WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-Wonder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Curbside Cupcakes in DC....:drool: ****ing awesome...I highly recommend it to anyone working in DC...its like an icecream truck filled with baked goodness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Wise men say "only fools rush in"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedskinFeathers Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Yayyyy the lawn guy is finally here!!! & I'm gettin my new laptop tonight...good day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Yayyyy the lawn guy is finally here!!! Is that like a cheaper pool boy? :pfft: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedskinFeathers Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Is that like a cheaper pool boy? :pfft: Touche. And sadly, no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X_RedskinsGirly_X Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 My aunts birth brother just became a Ohio State football player:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 My aunts birth brother just became a Ohio State football player:D Good for him. I'm sure your aunt is very proud of him. He will now be able to receive a solid education at an esteemed institute, and also gets to contribute to a football team that plays in a mediocre conference, struggles against fast teams in the SEC, and constantly fails to live up to expecations. :evilg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RammsteinSkins Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Gotta love eBay scammers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I've created a monster, which I will dub the "Utterly Evil Omelet." Three eggs Bacon American Cheese and.... Scrapple!!! If I don't live through it, know that I love you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I've created a monster, which I will dub the "Utterly Evil Omelet."Three eggs Bacon American Cheese and.... Scrapple!!! If I don't live through it, know that I love you guys. Well if you don't make it, at least you will have gone out with your boots on HH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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