Input needed from parents of youth athletes

I was never good enough to play sports at an elite level as a kid. I knew that, and enjoyed my time playing soccer, baseball and then club level volleyball in college.

However, my son is one of those kids.

At what point is it appropriate to take him off the fun teams with his friends, and put him into a program where he could grow his skills faster?

He has been invited to join an elite travel team. It would mean leaving behind 4 other kids who he has played with forever (and won more than they lost).

No illusions of grandeur. I dont think he can play professionally.

What is his position on the matter?

No illusions of grandeur. I dont think he can play professionally.

Let me guess: lacks the insane will and focus necessary?

The coaching and the kid's enjoyment is key,

Too many US travel teams spend all their time traveling and playing matches. And nowhere near enough development takes place.

If the environment is right and the kid is mature, then 7+ years old you can start real development. For some kids it would be no earlier than 10

He's been playing on a travel team for years now. They already practice 4 days a week, and play Sundays and tournaments about 1 out of 3 weekends.

He loves baseball. Breathes it. Watches it on TV constantly (Im not sure he knows what kids cartoons are in fact). He's incredibly focused and motivated.

The realism about playing pro ball comes from me. It's a great dream for a kid, but as a parent, I know that stats.

I havent told him about the invite yet. I dont want him to know about it if my wife and I arent going to allow him to do it.

The coaching and the kid's enjoyment is key,

Yep, I let mine start doing the elite travel teams at 10(at his request),but I'm not a fan of them

it was a reward and conditional on excelling in more important (to me) areas

What sport?

I was never good enough to play sports at an elite level as a kid. I knew that, and enjoyed my time playing soccer, baseball and then club level volleyball in college.

However, my son is one of those kids.

At what point is it appropriate to take him off the fun teams with his friends, and put him into a program where he could grow his skills faster?

He has been invited to join an elite travel team. It would mean leaving behind 4 other kids who he has played with forever (and won more than they lost).

No illusions of grandeur. I dont think he can play professionally.

1. Elite travel teams are a lot of work. If the kid isn't ready to put forth that kind of effort then don't do it.

2. They can also be expensive and extremely time-consuming. For bench players, it's a lot of effort and money for not much reward. Of course, that is the incentive to get better and earn playing time. See #1.

3. But elite travel teams can also be a tremendous amount of fun. Your kid will make new friends and have a ball - or you should find another elite travel team. He can remain friends with his former teammates off the field/court, or perhaps they weren't that close to begin with.

Unless a kid is really special or focused, not sure I'd do it earlier than 7 or 8. At that age I'd hope the travel commitment would not be so intense that it would preclude playing both the travel and, for fun, playing with the other team. By 10 it's time to take a step up. But only if this is what the kid wants.

I realize this is a little different since I was a little older and I'm female, so there are some differences. That said, I played on a really good soccer team for a few years starting when I was around 11 or 12. Most of the girls on my team were 1 or 2 years older than me, and most of them were better than me. One year when they were moving up (probably to U-15 or 16?) I decided for some reason not to move up with them. I don't remember exactly why I didn't move up; I think I was worried that I wasn't up to par with their level of play, and the age difference was going to become more of an issue as they moved in to high school and I was still in middle school.

Regardless, to this day I regret not moving up and staying with that team, or at least trying to find a better team in my own age group because I ended up on an awful team of girls who weren't very interested in nor good at soccer (it was a social outlet for most of them), and a coach who, while well-intentioned, did not have the knowledge or skill set to develop any kind of talent. As a result, I did not continue to develop as a player and I lost the motivation to continue playing to the point that I didn't even try out for my high school team.

Long story short, at a certain point (for me it came in middle school) the level of play and coaching does matter not just from a player development standpoint, but from a motivational one too. My parents offered at one point to drive a little further so I could play on a more competitive team. I wish I would have taken them up on that offer.

He's 11.

We are already spending the money and time. This new opportunity has a corp sponsor, so our out of pocket expenses would actually go down.

Im confident he would start right away, they are looking for a catcher. But have also promised to allow him outfield time.

My parental worry is this.

He is now playing with his best friends. They do everything together. And they are a good team, just not what I would call elite. They win lots of local tournaments, have a great head coach, and the families of the kids all get along great.

The new opportunity is kids and families from outside of our area, so we know no one. However, has a great coaching staff (including professional coaches in the offseason), and will compete statewide and into the Southeast.

I am not a parent, but I was a kid growing up that people said if I put my mind to it I could play pro ball. I was good at every sport I played. But I mostly play football and baseball. Then about 9 I cut it only to Baseball, and focused on baseball. I love the sport of football, but I had a coach that did not make it fun anymore, and at 9 years old having fun is what it is about. I love to win, but having fun is better.

I got an invite to try out for a Travel high level baeball team, that had won County and State Champ. in years past. I thought I had made the big time. Boy was I wrong, I was a firstbaseman. When I tried out, they put me in the outfield and in 3rd base. I had played 3rd base before, but never played the outfield.

I did not make the team. I had more development playing in Little League and learning the sport, then I would have been on this team. I also became an umpire for Little League which helped me learn and better understand the sport. I played baseball into highschool and lost the drive to play after that. Tho looking back I wish I hit the gym lost weight and cont. to play.

At 11 I think you should at least let him know about the invite, see if he wants to do it and if he is old enough make the choice has a family.

Ask your kid what he wants to do. You'll find that some kids don't want to leave their rec teams with their friends and they don't have higher aspirations towards sports. Other kids do, but it isn't something that should be pushed upon a kid. While I was growing up I played on all the select teams and the better football teams in the area. Travel teams in my opinion aren't really all they're cracked up to be and they seemed more common in Hockey which I have little knowledge about since it was too expensive and time consuming for me to get into. I loved playing on the top baseball team in the county and the best youth football team in the region (beltway league champs baby!). There were a number of my teammates on the football team which were recruited to prep schools by scouts who came to our games, and I received a few small offers from schools and leagues for baseball, though I didn't pursue it for reasons which I will mention below. A couple of my close friends from the team ended up going, played in the American Legion leagues and high school teams, and went on to play college baseball but didn't make it pro. I played football in high school before I tore my ACL in practice, but I didn't expect any interest from colleges.

You just need to gauge your kid and see what they want to do. Sports are for fun, that's all they really are and all they're really about. Sure you can build a whole bunch of other skills from sporting experiences but they're for fun. I will say my fun level for baseball dropped off substantially with the better teams which is why I avoided pursuing a higher level. You leave the team with all of your friends and join the one with maybe 1 or 2 friends, and then many of the other kids (in spite of being on the same team) are those kids who have been pushed really hard to believe that they're going to be pro players and that they need to do everything possible to make themselves look good and succeed. Those kids ruined the fun.

I remember a few instances where I or somebody else committed an error. Not a stupid error, but a ground ball hits a base and pops up funny and hits you in the shoulder, you knock it down but don't get the out type of error. The hyper competitive kids would berate you not just in the dugout for the rest of the game but for the rest of the season for every minor mistake you made. I was batting around .360 with multiple home runs as the #3 hitter and if I struck out or grounded out as soon as I came back to the dugout I'd have to hear about what a loser I was and how I was letting the team down and how they could have done better in spite of being at the bottom of the lineup and batting in the mid 200s.

It wasn't the type of thing I ever let affect my performance, I was pretty good at baseball and I really enjoyed playing the sport. I was appalled at the quality of people I met at the more competitive levels. I would also point out that this was mostly individualistic privileged kids who thought they were hot **** at baseball. At the highest levels of football I never met ANYBODY who behaved like this. Many of my football teammates were not privileged, they were not individualistic, and they knew better than to open their mouths about someone making a mistake. I stopped playing baseball at a high level in high school because of my experiences with *******s. I went back to playing rec ball with my friends which, aside from being frustrating sometimes because many of the people around me were not at my skill level, was a hell of a lot more fun because we joked around and had a great time playing the game, which is what its all about.

Let your kid decide.

Just sit him down weighing the pros and cons of each option. Let him decide from there.

Congrats on being a good parent and making sure he is active and doesn't sit and play one of the gaming systems for hours each day. I LOVE when I see kids partake in activities. Those are the kids that go on to lead successful lives more often than not.

Let your kid decide.

I only agree with this to an extent. Most kids will make decisions based only on the present or very immediate future, even if they have longer term goals/dreams. It's up to parents to help them consider that their current path isn't necessarily the best way to achieve those goals/dreams. If your kid wants to play for his high school team or eventually try to make it to play in college, then playing for a better program now would help that. That is what I failed to realize as a 13 year old. But if your kid truly just wants to play baseball with his friends, then he's probably not going to be happy in the new program. So I guess I mean to say don't just let your kid decide, make sure they are making an informed decision.

I agree with some of the opinions in here...I would discuss the pros and cons (including the IMPACT of each decision) and then decide together.

For example:

"You might not see your friends nearly as much. However, you will have a better chance of playing baseball in high school and maybe college."

Kids can seem to look only at the immediate impact, but if you let him know how each decision would impact the next few years then maybe you can help him make a decision. Just out of curiosity, if he actually asked you what you would do, what would be your answer?

If he asked me what? If he could play on another team?

I agree with some of the opinions in here...I would discuss the pros and cons (including the IMPACT of each decision) and then decide together.

For example:

"You might not see your friends nearly as much. However, you will have a better chance of playing baseball in high school and maybe college."

Kids can seem to look only at the immediate impact, but if you let him know how each decision would impact the next few years then maybe you can help him make a decision. Just out of curiosity, if he actually asked you what you would do, what would be your answer?

I'm not a parent but I'd say take a shot at letting him play for the elite team. Otherwise you'll always think to yourself: "what if?"

I agree with some of the opinions in here...I would discuss the pros and cons (including the IMPACT of each decision) and then decide together.

For example:

"You might not see your friends nearly as much. However, you will have a better chance of playing baseball in high school and maybe college."

Kids can seem to look only at the immediate impact, but if you let him know how each decision would impact the next few years then maybe you can help him make a decision. Just out of curiosity, if he actually asked you what you would do, what would be your answer?

If he asked me what? If he could play on another team?

Might be just me but i would let your kid decide. Its about having fun and loving the game. I played on some very good travel teams and also played on crappy teams with my friends. Always had a great time playing with them and those are the times i remember now. Its up to you, ask your son if he wants to meet new people and play with a different group of kids....but let him decide on what he wants to do.

Last thing you want to do is force him to do something...just my thoughts.

If he asked me what? If he could play on another team?

No, not if he COULD, but what you thought he SHOULD do.

As long as it doesn't affect his academics, I would let him do whatever he wants to do (as long as it isn't too disruptive to your family life).

I guess that is kind of what everyone is saying.

No, not if he COULD, but what you thought he SHOULD do.

I think he should do it. But Im asking here and in my circle of friends here because Im not convinced it would be the best move for him. Not that it would be bad, I just see the benefits of either side.

---------- Post added October-10th-2012 at 01:02 PM ----------

As long as it doesn't affect his academics, I would let him do whatever he wants to do (as long as it isn't too disruptive to your family life).

I guess that is kind of what everyone is saying.

It would be no different than now.

Im trying to choose if it's better to stay with his friends, or move to a more competetive environment.

Either way, the time involved is about the same.

I see. I just thought you might want to be ready to answer the question if he poses it to you. You know, be ready to tell him what you'd do and why.

We are facing the same exact thing at my house. My 10 year old loves baseball and started on his first travel tourney team last year, this Spring we need to make the choice whether he is going to focus entirely on baseball, if so I have no problem paying the $400 for him to be on the team considering that we already pay hat with new equipment and registration fees for the other three sports he plays. Up until this last year we have kept him in local rec leagues but he is showing real promise in baseball and soccer as a keeper. He has visions of a life in the pros, I have visions of a scholarship to a university where he can get an education.

It would be no different than now.

Im trying to choose if it's better to stay with his friends, or move to a more competetive environment.

Either way, the time involved is about the same.

Well, unless you think there is a chance he is the next Buster Posey, it is unlikely to make any difference in the long run. It's up to him whether he would more enjoy the higher level of competition, or would more enjoy being the big fish in a small pond with his best friends. Either way, he is going to end up playing ball in high school and then moving on without baseball.