Springfield Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 5 hours ago, Skinsfan1311 said: What drives me nuts,(and I might get flamed for this) is the young parents, that expect their parents to watch their kids, full-time. I know quite a few people, in their 60's, who can't do ****, because they're watching their grandkids. As if raising you wasn't enough, now they're watching yours? Let them enjoy the time that they have left. That is selfish, and wrong. When you have kids, you are going to make sacrifices. Don't pawn that **** off on to your parents. If you can't afford kids, then don't have them. My mom takes care of our two kids. When we had our first son, my mom offered to take care of him but we had full intentions of giving him to an in home day care. We visited several organized and in home day cares. Found one or two that we favored. Then my wife and I went out on our first date night since she gave birth and my mom watched him. Dinner and a movie, saw Interstellar. That's when it happened. The very next day, my wife broke down. She couldn't see our son with a stranger when a loving relative wanted to watch him instead. My mom has been watching him, and now our second son, ever since. 10+ hours a day, 4 days a week. We pay her. Not what we would pay a bonafide child care center, but I'm sure it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 3 minutes ago, Springfield said: My mom takes care of our two kids. When we had our first son, my mom offered to take care of him but we had full intentions of giving him to an in home day care. We visited several organized and in home day cares. Found one or two that we favored. Then my wife and I went out on our first date night since she gave birth and my mom watched him. Dinner and a movie, saw Interstellar. That's when it happened. The very next day, my wife broke down. She couldn't see our son with a stranger when a loving relative wanted to watch him instead. My mom has been watching him, and now our second son, ever since. 10+ hours a day, 4 days a week. We pay her. Not what we would pay a bonafide child care center, but I'm sure it helps. What is forgotten is most grandparents want to watch their grand children as much as possible. My parents and my MIL do not live near us, so we did the day care route and all were working when she was in pre-school anyhow, so it wouldn't have made a difference. But now that both my mom and dad are retired, they would keep Tazette the entire summer if they could. She goes to stay with my parents for 3 weeks during the summer break and this year will toss in another long weekend trip with her aunt and uncle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade7 Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 Kinda opposite experience with my grandparents. My mom's parents were separated and didn't live in the area, like grandpa was in Vegas and grandma in Wisconsin with my uncle. My dad's parents my dad didn't want them watching my little sister and I too much because he didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage of them. My grandmother practically raised one of my cousins, had his own room, and as I got older I always saw my youngest cousin there every time I visited, weekday or not. I never got the jist that any of my grandparents wanted my sister or I for an entire summer. I was still close to my dad's mom, I left work when I found out she died, couldn't think straight. Edit: like that 31-34 is winning, makes me feel better about my decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinsfan1311 Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 1 hour ago, Dont Taze Me Bro said: What is forgotten is most grandparents want to watch their grand children as much as possible. My parents and my MIL do not live near us, so we did the day care route and all were working when she was in pre-school anyhow, so it wouldn't have made a difference. But now that both my mom and dad are retired, they would keep Tazette the entire summer if they could. She goes to stay with my parents for 3 weeks during the summer break and this year will toss in another long weekend trip with her aunt and uncle. I disagree with that first statement. I think a lot of new parents make that assumption. I think that if given the choice to be spontaneous, travel and enjoy life, or be straddled with kids, after raising your own, the choice would be to have a life. Don't get me wrong, we love our grandkids and love to spend time with them. We see them a lot. We just don't want them every day. We're not daycare providers, nor should we be. We've had a dog, and a kid or both, in our lives since we were 18. Now we don't have either, we're young and enjoy the freedom. That being said , if that's the choice that yours, or other grandparents have made, and watching kids brings them joy and fufillment, then more power to them. It's certainly not my place to judge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Springfield Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I do sometimes worry that I'm taking advantage of my mom's kindness. She's never indicated such, but I don't want to wear out the welcome. My wife and I have plans on putting our oldest into a more organized "preschool" soon. He will be 3 in October. Potty training that little asshole has been nothing but trouble so far, and I don't want him in preschool until he is potty trained. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHog Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 First kid coming sometime in the next few days. I'm 32. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 13 minutes ago, Skinsfan1311 said: I disagree with that first statement. I think a lot of new parents make that assumption. I think that if given the choice to be spontaneous, travel and enjoy life, or be straddled with kids, after raising your own, the choice would be to have a life. Don't get me wrong, we love our grandkids and love to spend time with them. We see them a lot. We just don't want them every day. We're not daycare providers, nor should we be. We've had a dog, and a kid or both, in our lives since we were 18. Now we don't have either, we're young and enjoy the freedom. That being said , if that's the choice that yours, or other grandparents have made, and watching kids brings them joy and fufillment, then more power to them. It's certainly not my place to judge I wasn't referring to watching them all day, every day or almost all the time and practically raising them so the parents can go out and party, etc. I'm saying that some grandparents do welcome being involved as much as possible and watching them everyday during the week. Not every grand parent is the same, I get that. Both my dad's mom and my mom's parents did when I was little. I still went to daycare part time when I was little, but once I started kindergarten, over the summers I split time, usually rotated weeks with each of them. The entire summer, until I got older. If my mom and dad lived near us, they would keep her every day they could. But don't get me wrong, my parents just retired a couple of years ago and take trips, vacation and all of that. It would be around their schedule, as it should be, if they were in a position to watch her daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadySkinsFan Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I live in Alexandria and my granddaughter lives in Austin, where I'm moving. I haven't seen her much in past years and can't wait to live closer. Looking forward to taking her camping, and being another influence besides her conservative other grandparents. I wouldn't mind watching her during the week during school, she's going to be 12, so old enough to have conversations. I've bought a lot of games to play with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoCalMike Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 19 minutes ago, Skinsfan1311 said: I disagree with that first statement. I think a lot of new parents make that assumption. I think that if given the choice to be spontaneous, travel and enjoy life, or be straddled with kids, after raising your own, the choice would be to have a life. Don't get me wrong, we love our grandkids and love to spend time with them. We see them a lot. We just don't want them every day. We're not daycare providers, nor should we be. We've had a dog, and a kid or both, in our lives since we were 18. Now we don't have either, we're young and enjoy the freedom. That being said , if that's the choice that yours, or other grandparents have made, and watching kids brings them joy and fufillment, then more power to them. It's certainly not my place to judge I get what you are coming from. My parents were small business owners most of their adult life (still are, but have reduced the hours they themselves put in as they have gotten older) they sacrificed a lot of their adult lives to the grind of a business that needed some attention 7 days a week and raising my sister and I at the same time. Even once we both moved out, most of their time went to the business. Now that they are right at retirement age, the last thing they want to do is become daycare providers. When my first daughter was born they couldn't get enough of babysitting and watching her. When my second daughter was born it became a little much for them. It was an adjustment for my wife and I to not have them to always count on, but that was our fault for thinking they would just be a babysitting atm machine. They want to go out and travel be spontaneously do the things they couldn't do before and they have every right to want to do that. They never miss a holiday, school event, extra curricular activity, and my mom still watches the kids on days they aren't in school, but otherwise I can tell they want their free time to relax and do whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 My son was born on my 32nd birthday. My daughter was born three years later -- which was three weeks ago. I'm so tired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ixcuincle Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 What are kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark327 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 First child at 35 , second at 36 and third at 38. Two girls and a boy. My wife had 2 miscarriages before our first . Medical condition. Our thoughts were always 3 kids. I wouldn't change how anything happened . Can not ask for better kids ,now young adults. We have been blessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 35, mostly for financial reasons. Lost my job in my late 20's, then went to grad school and was very poor for 3-4 years. Came out the other side doing much better, took a year to travel then took the plunge. Daughter turns 2 in two weeks, she's the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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