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Florida....? oh yeah, Florida.


mcsluggo

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Police: Melbourne police officer offered prostitute $40 for sex while on-duty

 

A Melbourne police officer was arrested early Thursday morning after he offered a prostitute $40 for sex while he was on-duty, the agency announced.

 

Officer Shawn C. Archbold was immediately suspended without pay from the agency at the time of his arrest.

 

The Melbourne Police Department became aware of an allegation that Archbold was engaging in this activity four months ago.

 

Melbourne Police Chief Steve Mimbs immediately launched an investigation using undercover officers to determine if the allegations were true. The allegations were confirmed Wednesday night when Archbold was driving a marked patrol car and began talking to what turned out to be a decoy informant posing as a prostitute.

 

Archbold, 27, was immediately arrested by Melbourne police officers. He was taken to the Brevard County Detention Center.

 

The agency is currently working through the due process to terminate Archbold's employment with the Melbourne Police Department.

 

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My own odd little Florida vignette....

 

Down in Cocoa Beach a couple weeks back for Nats spring training.  Friday night, waiting for a table in the lounge area on the front patio of the Florida Fresh Grill restaurant.  A beat up white pickup truck pulls up to the front of the restaurant.  On the truck's door is a sign for a pool service company, and in the bed is a bunch of hoses and equipment.  Out jumps a guy impeccably dressed in a freshly pressed white shirt, bowtie, knee high socks, and an Irish tartan kilt.  Walks over to a woman sitting near us, gives her a big kiss and whispers something in her ear, gets back in the truck, and drives off. 

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Judging from his picture he seems pretty pleased with himself about it.

 

Report: Baker County man had handcuff key in rectum during 110 mph chase

 

A Baker County man had a handcuff key hidden in his rectum while he led deputies on a high-speed chase that ended when he was tasered after a K-9 was released on him, according to a police report.

 

Nicholas Byram, 32, was charged with reckless driving, battery of a police officer, resisting arrest, drug possession and concealment of a handcuff key.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Charge Dropped Against Woman Accused Of Attacking Spouse After Finding His Dildo

 

The Florida woman who allegedly attacked her husband after discovering a dildo among his belongings will not be prosecuted for domestic battery, according to a court filing.

 

Chao Gao, 48, was arrested in mid-February on the misdemeanor charge following a confrontation with spouse Joshua Sinclair that left him with bruises and scratches on his face, according to police.

 

In a probable cause affidavit, cops reported that Gao discovered the sex toy as the couple was moving residences. Sinclair told investigators that Gao attacked him upon learning that “a dildo she found was actually for me to use.”

 

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Florida Man To Cops: Masturbating Makes Me Feel Like ‘Destroying Stuff’

 

A Florida man accused of vandalizing a home in Largo allegedly told police he was masturbating to loud music when he suddenly felt “like going out and destroying stuff,” according to WFLA.com.

 

The Largo Police Department got a call Friday about a man smashing a mailbox.

 

Responding officers arrived at the home and found a man later identified as William Timothy Anderson Thomas shirtless and covered in dirt, according to the Palm Beach Post.

 

The officers also noticed a flattened trailer tire, a broken window, and that a real estate sign and a garden angel were demolished, according to the arrest affidavit.

 

Officers said Thomas admitted causing the destruction. They claim he told them “he had listened to too much music and masturbated too much and he felt like going out and destroying stuff.”

 

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Florida Man To Cops: Masturbating Makes Me Feel Like ‘Destroying Stuff’

 

A Florida man accused of vandalizing a home in Largo allegedly told police he was masturbating to loud music when he suddenly felt “like going out and destroying stuff,” according to WFLA.com.

 

The Largo Police Department got a call Friday about a man smashing a mailbox.

 

Responding officers arrived at the home and found a man later identified as William Timothy Anderson Thomas shirtless and covered in dirt, according to the Palm Beach Post.

 

The officers also noticed a flattened trailer tire, a broken window, and that a real estate sign and a garden angel were demolished, according to the arrest affidavit.

 

Officers said Thomas admitted causing the destruction. They claim he told them “he had listened to too much music and masturbated too much and he felt like going out and destroying stuff.”

 

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... you are doing it wrong.

Edited by mcsluggo
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This thread is hilariously sad...


My own odd little Florida vignette....

 

Out jumps a guy impeccably dressed in a freshly pressed white shirt, bowtie, knee high socks, and an Irish tartan kilt.  Walks over to a woman sitting near us, gives her a big kiss and whispers something in her ear, gets back in the truck, and drives off. 

We need to play a game of, "What did he say?"

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Florida woman shoots husband in testicles after learning of affair, police say

 

Victoria Reid, 60, of Melbourne was arrested in Brevard County, Fla. and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, aggravated assault, kidnapping and shooting or throwing a missile into a dwelling, jail records show.

 

Police say Reid threatened to shoot her husband in the face and kill him, CBS 12 reported. She is accused, though, of shooting him in the knee. The bullet ricocheted and ended up in his testicles.

 

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Florida woman shoots husband in testicles after learning of affair, police say

Victoria Reid, 60, of Melbourne was arrested in Brevard County, Fla. and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, aggravated assault, kidnapping and shooting or throwing a missile into a dwelling, jail records show.

Police say Reid threatened to shoot her husband in the face and kill him, CBS 12 reported. She is accused, though, of shooting him in the knee. The bullet ricocheted and ended up in his testicles.

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First of all, wtf is "throwing a missile into a dwelling" and how is that the same as shooting someone?

Second, that ricochet was some bad luck :(

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  • 3 weeks later...

yeah, it happens in Florida. And Maryland. And Tennessee. And New York. And California. And Nebraska.

Those states are smarter and have hard FOIA laws than Florida.

 

 

This is all mostly a goof, and I think intellectually people realize that bad or weird stuff happens everywhere.  Somehow Florida has become the poster-child-state for bizarre stories.   Whether that's fair or not, who knows.

 

But I'm having a hard time figuring out how FOIA laws have any bearing that.

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But I'm having a hard time figuring out how FOIA laws have any bearing that.

 

the press has easier access to police reports and such to flesh out the flesheater stories 

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Why smarter?....being nuts is one your biggest draws.

i dont live in Florida, but it is fair to say htat their transparency is a great draw... to media members

I'm sure that's his point, but I don't know that it's true.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/how-floridas-proud-open-government-laws-lead-to-the-shame-of-florida-man-news-stories-7608595

Weird stuff happens there because of location and the mix of people, but we wouldn't know things and in such detail, were it not for their open records laws.

If NYC had transparency, there is a near certainty you would see weird stories from there too.

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i dont live in Florida, but it is fair to say htat their transparency is a great draw... to media members

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/how-floridas-proud-open-government-laws-lead-to-the-shame-of-florida-man-news-stories-7608595

Weird stuff happens there because of location and the mix of people, but we wouldn't know things and in such detail, were it not for their open records laws.

If NYC had transparency, there is a near certainty you would see weird stories from there too.

 

 

Thanks for posting that.  Interesting.  It almost - almost - takes the fun out of all the weird Florida man stories.

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