TigersWood Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I have a question pertaining to dating. When dating, is it assumed that you are dating multiple people so long as a conversation has not been had determining the relationship is exclusive? If not, are their situational circumstances ie after you go on 3 dates that should be assumed to be more than "casual" dating? After sex can it no longer be considered "casual dating" (assuming its not a sex on the first date type deal)? At what point is it scummy to continue dating multiple people? Must you be honest from the get-go that you are seeing multiple people? I was having this conversation with a friend from college today and thought it was interesting because we had very different outlooks. To reiterate my main question, must you tell the people you are dating that you are dating multiple people, or is this assumed until a conversation defining the relationship has occurred? Just wanted to hear some opinions, I'll give my opinion and the impetus for the question either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boysetsfire Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'm sorry but with your username I just found it funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigersWood Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 I'm embarrassed to admit I didn't pick up on that glaring bit of irony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunny Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 IMHO, The meaning behind "dating" can and will vary from person to person. For me personally, dating means going out and meeting people. There is nothing exclusive about dating. You have to talk about the context of your relationship with someone you're dating before it can be assumed that it's more than "casual." However. . if you have sex with someone you're dating, it's a different ballpark. Sex complicates everything. (If I weren't married.. speaking hypothetically here!) I would never have sex with someone I was "dating" because to me - that's casual sex. Sex without a commitment doesn't appeal to me. So if you're gonna have sex with someone you're just "casually" dating, you should let your intentions be known. Whether that be keeping it casual, or escalating from dating to full-fledged commitment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Dating is meeting different people. It's slightly more formal than knowing somebody you occasionally hang out with and perhaps hook up with. Sex is just sex. It changes nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Tater Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The rule is you can date as many others as you want while the other person can only date you. Now, from that person's perspective it is the reverse. Well, at least after a couple of dates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The rule is you can date as many others as you want while the other person can only date you. Now, from that person's perspective it is the reverse. Well, at least after a couple of dates. I was dating a girl recently and I kept telling her that I don't care if she is dating somebody else and I wish she would keep doing it as long as she wanted to. It keeps everybody from getting to attached prematurely. She would insist on telling me who she was with and what she was doing. It was annoying. I guess because I didn't want to tell her (it was non of my business or hers), she figured I wasn't. I finally told her and she was pissed. I still see her sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pick6 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The way I see it, nothing is set until the conversation of exclusiveness happens. No assumptions should ever be made in dating or relationships. That is how feelings get hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sikbug Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I find that dating multiable girls at once only works when the other girls don't find out about each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 See, I've never referring to "seeing" a girl, before we're a couple, as "dating". Sure, you can go out on a date, or many dates, and keep a casual thing going. But you aren't "dating". Its just casual. The minute you have that "talk", or have sex (unless its a random one-night stand), etc., you're probably exclusive, and you're "dating". You're a couple. The sex thing is tricky, because I didn't mean that having sex makes a casual relationship exclusive on its own, automatically. Obviously not. Sometimes sex is just sex, and isn't a sign of deeper commitment. I just meant that after sex, you should probably have the talk that decides whether you're exclusive or not. I mean, if you were seeing a girl once in a while, going on dates but being casual, etc...wouldn't you want to know if she's banging a bunch of guys (or even a single guy) on the side before you make the decision to keep seeing each other? That might turn you right off. That's why sex complicates things...because other people you're seeing have a right to know that things clearly aren't exclusive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbs Hog Heaven Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The first rule of dating, is there is no rules ..... 'K, being flipp aside, to answer the OP, if your "dating", which suggests multiple dates; your obviously developing something with whomever into a relationship. And as such, sex or no sex at this point, I'd like to think whom ever I was dating was exclusive to me so to speak, or else what's the point? Unless of course your both into multiple partners, and it's agreed and understood between the pair of you. I'd certainly feel let down to the point of feeling maybe betrayed if a girl I was dating over a duration was seeing other people behind my back to whatever extent. When it comes to affairs of the heart, when your past the first few casual dates, honesty's defo the best policy. Hail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissance Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 If you're just going out on "dates" then I don't see the problem with dating more than 1 person at a time. But once you get to the stage of just hanging out together (like where you don't have some planned activity or whatever), then I think it's understood that you're not going out with other people. Hopefully that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popeman38 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The first rule of dating is that there are no rules on dating. Each individual relationship is different, and as such, different standards are applied. The standards you apply to a late night reliabooty are different than the standards you likely apply to your future baby-mamma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asking Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 There are no rules. Assumptions shouldn't be made about your status with someone unless you know, or have the "state of the union" talk. If you're just going on a first date, it's safe to assume the other person is/was going on other dates as well. The uncertainty after 2-3-4 dates can make one anxious, but I think after the 3rd or 4th date, since you got to having a 3rd or 4th date, you should really begin to understand each other and have a discussion about how things are going. How do you know when it's going well? You're half way through the first date and your date takes her phone out to cancel her second date, which was supposed to occur later on that night. That's a good sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibarramedia Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 It gets complicated and sometimes you don't know when to call the girl you are dating your girlfriend in this day and age. Back in the day, and i'm talking probably our grandfather or great grandfather's time, there was a prospectinve suitor courting a would be girlfriend. Now there are many different terms, many different 'statuses' that it really gets confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 How To Date Anywhere In The Country Find out what food to suggest in New York, where to take a date in Seattle, and how to make a drinks date more attractive. Infografic Apparently board games are the #1 dating activity in the DC area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdcskins Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Just be honest. For instance right now I am boning a girl and hanging out with her, but I definitely don't ever see marrying her (which is basically what we are all looking for). I told her a few times, "we are not together," hoping that she'd get the point. So basically just do what you feel like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 The way I see it, nothing is set until the conversation of exclusiveness happens. No assumptions should ever be made in dating or relationships. That is how feelings get hurt. This is how I feel, and how I operated in college. You don't have the conversation, you're free to do as you please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky21 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Dating is supposed to be fun. It is not a commitment to marry. You and your date can see anyone they want until one or the other asks them to "go steady" (antiquated term) to be exclusive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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