Please help me with something.

[Hubbs]

I know right?? Thank god for Nyquil.

Nah, not Nyquil, some pills called Mirtazapine and Seroquel.

Do you remember one of her favorite things? Did she have something she was into deeply? Showing a woman you understand what is important to her sometimes helps. Start there. I'll come up with more ideas for you if you can start there.

I do, and I think I noodled that one too. She thought I wasn't interested in her work. It turns out I am, I just didn't know how to express it yet.

Hell, I can rattle off 50 things she likes. Thanks for the idea.

[Bang]

Obviously. I'd never want to trick her. Unless we're talking about a funny prank.

What do you mean by the snack part? I should literally go the candy bar route?

Well, I originally wrote "drinks" but then saw you said something about alcoholism.

So I had to make the quick switch.

Basically take her someplace that doesn't obligate her to too much time if she's not into it.. and vice versa. Something as simple as buying her a cup of coffee in a place you can sit for a little while.

~Bang

[Ahmayzin]

I was actually going to get a little deeper. For example, say she was into science maybe you could offer to take her to the Smithsonian....maybe research an exhibit in advance so you can talk about it....that's kinda fake I guess...but then again, in the process you could become interested. I know, sounds like I borrowed it from a movie. That stuff works though maing...I'm telling you. lol

[sideshow24]

No, I would be completely straight up with her. Tell her you really screwed the pooch when you guys were dating.

If that's the real reason she left him, she ain't coming back.

[mcsluggo]

welll.... OBVOUSLY.... you get two full bags of groceries (baguettes and salamis) and while holding them you ask her to get your keys out of your pocket.

(oh! important detail! FIRST cut out your inside pockets, and leave your underoos at home)

NOTHING says "i love you" like baguettes and salami!

[mcsluggo]

..or... you could try being sincere :paranoid:

[Hubbs]

Well, I originally wrote "drinks" but then saw you said something about alcoholism.

So I had to make the quick switch.

Basically take her someplace that doesn't obligate her to too much time if she's not into it.. and vice versa. Something as simple as buying her a cup of coffee in a place you can sit for a little while.

~Bang

Right, but if she's drinking it's okay for me to drink too. The drinking before wasn't about the alcohol. It was about the sleep. Hell, I don't even like alcohol that much unless I'm drinking with friends. Tastes bad, IMO. So the drinks could theoretically still work.

I was actually going to get a little deeper. For example, say she was into science maybe you could offer to take her to the Smithsonian....maybe research an exhibit in advance so you can talk about it....that's kinda fake I guess...but then again, in the process you could become interested. I know, sounds like I borrowed it from a movie. That stuff works though maing...I'm telling you. lol

How is it fake? I want to research something so that I'm well-informed enough to talk with her about it? Doesn't exactly seem fake...

If that's the real reason she left him, she ain't coming back.

Maybe.

welll.... OBVOUSLY.... you get two full bags of groceries (baguettes and salamis) and while holding them you ask her to get your keys out of your pocket.

(oh! important detail! FIRST cut out your inside pockets, and leave your underoos at home)

NOTHING says "i love you" like baguettes and salami!

Baguettes and salami! How could I have missed this before?

[Hubbs]

..or... you could try being sincere :paranoid:

I'm trying to. I just need the time to be.

[Special K]

Right, but I have to get her to let me say it first. Should I just kind of find her and say that she was right, and I'd like to tell her why? Goddamnit, now I'm being LeBron James. What should I do?

Yes, find her. Do you ever cross paths with her? If so, obviously do it then. If not, call (NOT TEXT) her and leave a message something like "Hey listen, I haven't talked to you in quite some time and I wanted to see how things are going and maybe catch up. I've been making a lot of changes in my life and I want to talk to you about it and apologize for some of the things I've done...but it would mean a lot to me to talk to you in person. So maybe we could meet up and do (insert whatever low key thing you want to do) if you would give me the opportunity." Or something to that effect. Something that is very sincere and lets her know you know you screwed up and feel like you would like to at least apologize in person...and of course sway her back into dating you

I did. Remember the alcoholism? Yeah, that tends to drive people away. :doh:

I actually think that's ultimately why she broke up with me, which would have been a pretty damn good reason. She just couldn't tell me because she thought it would be too harsh. Well, now I've fixed it. Now I can get to sleep without alcohol, thank God.

Very cool Hubbs. I'm really glad to hear you were able to confront that issue and get the help you needed. There are always underlying causes to these types of problems (that we all have in one form or another) and medical professionals trained in mental health are usually pretty good at fleshing those issues out and helping us find solutions. Keep up the good work, I mean it.

[SkinsHokieFan]

I am with McD5 on this one

Plenty of other libertarian chicks out there for you

[Hubbs]

Haha, thanks, K. And no, I don't cross paths with her anymore, so I'll do the phone call thing. Actually... would it be better to go to her and tell her what I want to say in person, too?

[TK]

One of the few times I agree with McD5. It's been 2 years. You're not sure how to even talk to her about wanting to talk to her. Move on. She has.

[Hubbs]

I am with McD5 on this one

Plenty of other libertarian chicks out there for you

Yeah, well... I want this one.

[Bang]

You'll find out one way or another. and no harm in trying.

~Bang

[Hubbs]

You'll find out one way or another. and no harm in trying.

~Bang

Yeah, thing is, if this doesn't work, then I stop. Period. I really do have to move on at that point. That's what I have to do, so that's what I'll do.

[Special K]

Haha, thanks, K. And no, I don't cross paths with her anymore, so I'll do the phone call thing. Actually... would it be better to go to her and tell her what I want to say in person, too?

Nah, I wouldn't just show up on her doorstep and surprise her. That could have very bad consequences....

I would call her and see if she calls you back or is receptive to meeting up with you. If she doesn't return your call or doesn't want to talk, then you'll have to move on. But at least you'll know you tried...

[GoSkins561]

Well, if a guy did this to me I would probably respond best if he groveled in front of me first. Kidding.

No, I would be completely straight up with her. Tell her you really screwed the pooch when you guys were dating. You've taken a step back and evaluated the reasons she broke up with you and realized SHE WAS RIGHT (you must emphasize how right she was) and you have worked on these issues and believe you've solved them and/or are still working on them. You should then tell her how much you've been berating yourself for screwing up such a good thing in your life and you would do anything to win her back and show her you've changed. ANYTHING. Including sharing a bed. Hahaha, kidding on the last one.

But seriously, I would emphasize how much you screwed up, how awesome she is, and the specific changes you have made. Don't just say "I've changed." Tell her exactly what you've done to change.

Good luck!

If you're going to try, this is the way to go.

[Corcaigh]

I've fixed the reason she broke up with me.

You had a penis enlargement?

[Mr. Sinister]

I went through a similar situation like this with my ex during my first year of college. We were together from our sophomore year to the early portion of our senior year. TTo keep things short, I did some very stupid ****, and she stopped talking to me completely. During that summer I tried to get in touch with her through friends, but again, no dice. By chance I ran into her at a grocery store during winter break my freshman year of college, and she was completely different, she changed her hair and everything, and she was with someone else. I told her that I was sorry for everything I put her through, and told her how much I had changed, but the situation was really awkward, and her boyfriend started acting like a dick, obviously because she told him about what happened in our relationship, so once again, I thought I struck out..

About two weeks later however, I received a hand written letter from her in the mail, saying how happy she was for me, and how her seeing me again made her feel a lot better, and that she could finally let it go. I still wanted her back ( although I didn't tell her that), but I felt better knowing that she was happy again.

In your situation, it's been two years, and if whatever the situation was between you two was serious enough, then chances are that she's moved on, and is with someone else now, but like others have said, it still wouldn't hurt to get in contact with her, and talk things over. It's been long enough since you two broke up, so she'll probably be willing to hear you out.

Just make your point, be honest and sincere, and if she's still upset with you, take the tongue lashing, but in the end, nothing bad should come out of it if you do what everyone else is saying. IMO though, I wouldn't tell her to give me another chance, just because of the previous you guys have together, but if she's still single, and is giving you the impression that she wants you back, then go for it. Hopefully it'll all work out for you.

[aamiha73]

what keeastman said about emphasizing how right she was and how aware you are of how right she was is very important. The whole "he doesn't get it and he never will" really sticks in their crawl and it can be big enough for them to stop trying and bail. If you do manage to call and get her to meet up with you regardless of the location (personally i like the coffee idea, you'll stay clear-headed and less distracted perhaps), it's like everyone said. Be honest. Be up front. Don't go into it as if you're campaigning for yourself. Just be honest, forthcoming and say what you need to without expectation.

What others said about moving on, well, I don't disagree really. Not a bit. It seems like you're prepared to do that if this doesn't pan out and that's a good thing. But we want what we want. We've all been there.

If she gives you another chance, remember it's only that. A chance. Don't immediately go into "relationship mode". Date her. Take it slow and easy. Enjoy it. Simply enjoy the time spent. Don't think about all the benefits she offers you but think about the great things you can do for her. It truly is the little things. Not to mention she'll be keeping an eye out hoping you really have changed the things you needed to and you can't show that in just a couple weeks.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

[Skin'Em84]

No no, I'm not drugging her. :pfft:

Druggin is a bad idea. I like the club to the forehead. It's cheaper, easier, and makes a cool sound.

[Hubbs]

You had a penis enlargement?

Why would that make her break up with me? :pfft:

[Hubbs]

I went through a similar situation like this with my ex during my first year of college. We were together from our sophomore year to the early portion of our senior year. TTo keep things short, I did some very stupid ****, and she stopped talking to me completely. During that summer I tried to get in touch with her through friends, but again, no dice. By chance I ran into her at a grocery store during winter break my freshman year of college, and she was completely different, she changed her hair and everything, and she was with someone else. I told her that I was sorry for everything I put her through, and told her how much I had changed, but the situation was really awkward, and her boyfriend started acting like a dick, obviously because she told him about what happened in our relationship, so once again, I thought I struck out..

About two weeks later however, I received a hand written letter from her in the mail, saying how happy she was for me, and how her seeing me again made her feel a lot better, and that she could finally let it go. I still wanted her back ( although I didn't tell her that), but I felt better knowing that she was happy again.

In your situation, it's been two years, and if whatever the situation was between you two was serious enough, then chances are that she's moved on, and is with someone else now, but like others have said, it still wouldn't hurt to get in contact with her, and talk things over. It's been long enough since you two broke up, so she'll probably be willing to hear you out.

Just make your point, be honest and sincere, and if she's still upset with you, take the tongue lashing, but in the end, nothing bad should come out of it if you do what everyone else is saying. IMO though, I wouldn't tell her to give me another chance, just because of the previous you guys have together, but if she's still single, and is giving you the impression that she wants you back, then go for it. Hopefully it'll all work out for you.

She's single for the moment at least.

Also, I have to say, if you made her happy... I don't think you've struck out yet. Maybe you've got two strikes, but as Chris Berman says, that's why they play the game.

what keeastman said about emphasizing how right she was and how aware you are of how right she was is very important. The whole "he doesn't get it and he never will" really sticks in their crawl and it can be big enough for them to stop trying and bail. If you do manage to call and get her to meet up with you regardless of the location (personally i like the coffee idea, you'll stay clear-headed and less distracted perhaps), it's like everyone said. Be honest. Be up front. Don't go into it as if you're campaigning for yourself. Just be honest, forthcoming and say what you need to without expectation.

What others said about moving on, well, I don't disagree really. Not a bit. It seems like you're prepared to do that if this doesn't pan out and that's a good thing. But we want what we want. We've all been there.

If she gives you another chance, remember it's only that. A chance. Don't immediately go into "relationship mode". Date her. Take it slow and easy. Enjoy it. Simply enjoy the time spent. Don't think about all the benefits she offers you but think about the great things you can do for her. It truly is the little things. Not to mention she'll be keeping an eye out hoping you really have changed the things you needed to and you can't show that in just a couple weeks.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

Believe me, that's how I think. I want her to help me by me helping her.

Druggin is a bad idea. I like the club to the forehead. It's cheaper' date=' easier, and makes a cool sound.[/quote']

True, guess I should find a club.

Now all I need is a cave to drag her back to...

[Hubbs]

Oh hey Katie, since you seem to be coming up with so many good ideas, I was wondering if you had any advice about this... I'm sure that while she's single, she's at least going out on dates with other guys. Any idea how I can overcome that particular problem?

[Special K]

Oh hey Katie, since you seem to be coming up with so many good ideas, I was wondering if you had any advice about this... I'm sure that while she's single, she's at least going out on dates with other guys. Any idea how I can overcome that particular problem?

Well, I'm glad you appreciate my advice because my husband always tells me I'm full of ****

Anyway, as for her dating other guys, there is nothing you can do about that nor is there anything you should attempt to do about that. If you are able to talk to her and have a heart to heart and she reciprocates those feelings, that is something that will resolve itself....