ljs Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I almost wish we had a Dear Abby type of thread.... Have you ever been asked to do something that you really didn't want to do, but you felt obligated to do that? I'm sure we all have. I'm just curious at people different opinions on those things...like, are you obligated to bring a gift to a wedding? Or a baby shower? Are you obligated to tip a waitress? Well, here is my real story of "am I obligated?" My younger sister is getting married in October. She just sent me an email asking me to be one of her bridesmaids. Um, just one hitch...I have to wear a dress. Yikes, I haven't worn a dress since my older sister got married, 17 years ago. I feel like asking me to wear a dress is like asking our brother to wear a dress. Everyone who knows me, knows that I despise them. I used to ball my eyes out as a young child when my mom would make me wear one. I'm like Iggy in Fried Green tomatoes (when she climbed the tree before her sisters wedding and ripped off her dress...) I know some will say it's not a big deal, and I'm seriously considering it. BUT, my question really is...am I obligated to be in her wedding?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Skins_&_'Stons Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 BUT, my question really is...am I obligated to be in her wedding?? Are you close with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coooleeey Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I would think you should be more honored than obligated. If for some reason wearing a dress makes you totally not interested in being in the wedding party then I think you should kindly decline the offer. Just do the bride and groom a favor and don't be a pita about it because they have enough going on . p.s. t-minus 66 days till my wedding day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 If you feel that strongly about it then no you're not obligated. Just explain it to your sister and tell her you'll be there for her big day supporting her but you won't be wearing a dress. On the other hand, if you feel like you can tolerate it for a few hours then do it for her. I guess it depends on your relationship you have with your sister and how anti-dress you are.:2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy Burner Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Yes, you're obligated if you accept to be in the wedding. It is her day. It is her very special day. If you choose to be in the wedding, it should be on your sister's terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Yep you're obligated. Watch it'll be a nice ruffly frilly pink one too. With wonderful heels to match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins Diehard Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 You aren't obligated to. But you should. It isn't about you...it is about her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stugein Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 You aren't obligated to be in the wedding, though I'm sure it would mean a lot to her if you were. I don't like wearing suits, but sometimes the situation calls for it. Interviews, weddings, funerals..*shrug* If wearing a dress makes a loved one's special day that much more special..suck it up and do it, and don't remind them constantly or martyr about it. Just smile and know that you are doing a good turn for someone. A few hours of discomfort for you means a lifetime of good memories for this person. Worth the trade-off imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsBry Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Are you close with her? This is my question. If you are close, it would be kind of an insult to not do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterMP Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Does she have a reasonable number of bridemaids? I've turned down being in wedding parties, just by saying it wasn't my preference (somewhere along the line, I started saying I felt to old for such things (to people younger than me)), but would do it if the really needed another person. Many times people ask because they feel it is an obligation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoeRedskins Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 It's your sister's day, not yours. Suck it up for a few hours and wear a dress. If you feel that wearing a dress at your sister's wedding is unreasonable then...well...I don't know what to tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Skins_&_'Stons Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 If you are close with her, then I say yes, suck it up & do it. Life is about sacrifice. She obviously knows how much you hate wearing dresses, but is asking you to wear one, because the wedding is about her, not you. If you are not close & she is just doing it to mess with you, then **** her. Kindly decline and enjoy the wedding from a distance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Yes you're obligated. To wear the dress and post pics of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 I guess it's hard to define "being close". She is my half sister, we have the same dad. She is 13 yrs younger than me, and we never lived in the same house. She goes to college an hour south of me, and drives through my town when she goes home to see our dad, yet has never called me to say, hey lets have lunch. Although I've extended that invitation. We get along great when we are around each other, I love my sister very much, but if you say, are you close? The honest answer is, not really. She already had the wedding planned, with her two cousins as bridesmaids. Then all of a sudden she sends me an email, saying she knows how I feel about weddings and drssing up, but she wants both her sisters in the wedding. Kinda strange to be honest, since she never talks to our older sister. I know that wearing a dress for a couple hours won't kill me, that is why I'm considering this. But I would only do this because I feel obligated, and that is kinda sad to me. and as for posting pics of me in a dress....oh hell no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Nope. You arent obligated. Just beware that she isnt obligated to include you as family after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuraitengai Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 well with what you said above ^^ i dont think you are obligated to be in the wedding since you arent close with her and all the times she drove through she never called you or stopped by to get together. so not obligated to be in the wedding. but if you decide to be in it, youre obligated to wear the dress. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngestson Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 No to be harsh, but just put on the dress and grin N' bear it for a few hours. The wedding is not about you but your sister and family as a whole. Many others will also have to wear and say and do things, and interact with people they would not do on a daily basis. Besides, you will then have an unlimited time to give your sister holy hell about the sacrifice you made just-for-her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Yes you are, being a member of a family comes with implicit and explicit duties. One of them is going to weddings when you are invited, and meeting the appropriate dress codes in order to not upset social norms on your family member's special day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Just put on the darn dress... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Yes you are, being a member of a family comes with implicit and explicit duties. One of them is going to weddings when you are invited, and meeting the appropriate dress codes in order to not upset social norms on your family member's special day. Yep, it is a family thing Hell,I made my brothers wear peach tuxes. Ain't no way that happens if they ain't obligated.:evilg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 twa, you or your wife made them wear peach tuxes?? hard to see a dude choose peach. but ya never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 My wife chose the color,I just made em wear it They were really pissed when I wore all white. I bring the pics out from time to time just to **** with them.:saber: One brother could carry off any color or fashion,the other? Looked like a grizzly in a tutu:rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robotfire Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 You definitely have to. If you choose not to be in the wedding, she'll remember it forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Looked like a grizzly in a tutu:rotflmao: OMG....I have horror images that I'll look like that, but w/ shaved legs... I'm pretty sure I'm going to do this...but I swear, only cause we're blood. I mean, how can I say no and live w/ myself? I just hate to do it out of pure obligation... plus, none of them drink, so this will be a sober wedding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mondizzle Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 You are absolutely not obligated to be in the wedding. However, if you choose to be in the wedding, then you are obligated to wear whatever the bride wants, but I think you know that. If I get married one of these days, I'll probably ask my half-brothers to walk me down the aisle - my feelings might be a little hurt if they don't want to do it, but I know they are in no way obligated to accept the offer/request. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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