PeterMP Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 From what you've said, I would seriously suggest that somebody suggested to HER that it would be nice if her two sisters were in the wedding and that led her to ask you out of sense of obligation. I would politely tell her that it isn't you don't really want to be, but if it is something she really wants that you'll do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbleedBnG83 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Uh, yeah! Its your sister. She is family. If you really care about her, you will do something as easy as wearing a dress to make her happy. It is not embarrassing or demeaning, so there is nothing wrong with wearing one other than your personal preference. If it were you, you would want her to do the same for perhaps another favor that is as simple as wearing an article of clothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbleedBnG83 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I guess it's hard to define "being close". She is my half sister, we have the same dad. She is 13 yrs younger than me, and we never lived in the same house. She goes to college an hour south of me, and drives through my town when she goes home to see our dad, yet has never called me to say, hey lets have lunch. Although I've extended that invitation. We get along great when we are around each other, I love my sister very much, but if you say, are you close? The honest answer is, not really.She already had the wedding planned, with her two cousins as bridesmaids. Then all of a sudden she sends me an email, saying she knows how I feel about weddings and drssing up, but she wants both her sisters in the wedding. Kinda strange to be honest, since she never talks to our older sister. I know that wearing a dress for a couple hours won't kill me, that is why I'm considering this. But I would only do this because I feel obligated, and that is kinda sad to me. and as for posting pics of me in a dress....oh hell no. We all do things everyday of our lives because we feel obligated. This isn't a life changing or altering obligation. Suck it up. Even though you aren't that close, life is short and this is a family event. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mondizzle Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Uh, yeah! Its your sister. She is family. If you really care about her, you will do something as easy as wearing a dress to make her happy. It is not embarrassing or demeaning, so there is nothing wrong with wearing one other than your personal preference.If it were you, you would want her to do the same for perhaps another favor that is as simple as wearing an article of clothing. I think some of you guys are downplaying how much ljs hates wearing dresses - I think she used the word "despise". Maybe it's not "as simple" for her as it sounds. If I were asked to do something that required me to wear something that would make me feel ridiculous, I would probably freak out a little, too. Knowing you look good makes you feel good, and it works the other way as well. Just sayin... :2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I know some will say it's not a big deal, and I'm seriously considering it. BUT, my question really is...am I obligated to be in her wedding?? It's your SISTER. You would deny standing by your sister's side as she says her vows to the one she loves just because you have to wear a DRESS and you don't like DRESSES? I'd wear a plastic trashbag or a clown suit if my sister had asked me...and in fact, I'm making her wear both this September. Seriously though, your sister's feelings vs. your disdain for dresses? It's not even a question in my book. I think some of you guys are downplaying how much ljs hates wearing dresses - I think she used the word "despise". Maybe it's not "as simple" for her as it sounds. If I were asked to do something that required me to wear something that would make me feel ridiculous, I would probably freak out a little, too. Knowing you look good makes you feel good, and it works the other way as well. Just sayin... :2cents: Seriously? There are girls that would refuse to be in a loved one's wedding over an outfit? I'm sorry, but that is so selfish. The day isn't about the bridesmaid, it's the bride's day. I've worn several hideous outfits I wasn't comfortable in...the most recent being an orange, 2 sizes too small dress, while all my makeup ran off my face and my hair getting drenched from sweat while I stood on a Mexico beach at 5pm. I thought I was going to pass out, seriously. It's a DRESS. I never understood the complaining. Who cares. They are your friend or your family, you are there to support them and make their day memorable...not look good. While I realize it's just a dress, I know people are more comfortable in things they think they look good in (although I don't think that's a legit reason to back out of a wedding party), so I just picked a color and am having everyone buy whatever the hell dress they want...I don't feel like dealing with that mess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 maybe if I'm ever allowed to get married legally, I'll ask them to wear drag queen outfits to celebrate the festivities...I'm sure they would... No, really. I already bowed down and said I'd suck it up. Hey, I dress up for work all the time, no big deal. But I think that after 17 years....this will be a bit weird. So while I'll "grin and bear it." I don't have to like it. And honestly, the more I think about this...the more some liberal personality in me comes out getting all pissed off that I don't have the same opportunity, but I have to conform to theirs. such as life right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mondizzle Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Well, good luck with that, ljs - I stand by my original statement. I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding this October and I can't dance for ****, but I know the wedding party will be forced to dance - frankly, I'm terrified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I already bowed down and said I'd suck it up. Hey, I dress up for work all the time, no big deal. But I think that after 17 years....this will be a bit weird. So while I'll "grin and bear it." I don't have to like it. And honestly, the more I think about this...the more some liberal personality in me comes out getting all pissed off that I don't have the same opportunity, but I have to conform to theirs. such as life right? That's good of you to do Ljs, I'm sure your sis is going to appreciate it. And hey, things could be worse, you could be the maid of honor having to give a toast... And I suspect that some day in the not so distant future, you will have the opportunity to walk down the aisle as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Well, good luck with that, ljs - I stand by my original statement. I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding this October and I can't dance for ****, but I know the wedding party will be forced to dance - frankly, I'm terrified. There's an easy solution to that Mondizzle, copius amounts of alcohol. Alcohol helps you give good toasts too, just ask my sister about the lovely masterpiece I gave at hers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HogNose Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 No, really. I already bowed down and said I'd suck it up. Hey, I dress up for work all the time, no big deal. same opportunity, but I have to conform to theirs. such as life right? Good decision, I hope you have a good time. Hey btw, your cat that sprayed your bed and then was thrown out into the snow:kickcan:.....whatever happened with that? LOL * sorry for taking it off the subject but had to ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble Screen Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I almost wish we had a Dear Abby type of thread....Have you ever been asked to do something that you really didn't want to do, but you felt obligated to do that? I'm sure we all have. I'm just curious at people different opinions on those things...like, are you obligated to bring a gift to a wedding? Or a baby shower? Are you obligated to tip a waitress? Well, here is my real story of "am I obligated?" My younger sister is getting married in October. She just sent me an email asking me to be one of her bridesmaids. Um, just one hitch...I have to wear a dress. Yikes, I haven't worn a dress since my older sister got married, 17 years ago. I feel like asking me to wear a dress is like asking our brother to wear a dress. Everyone who knows me, knows that I despise them. I used to ball my eyes out as a young child when my mom would make me wear one. I'm like Iggy in Fried Green tomatoes (when she climbed the tree before her sisters wedding and ripped off her dress...) I know some will say it's not a big deal, and I'm seriously considering it. BUT, my question really is...am I obligated to be in her wedding?? Don't women that attend weddings, also wear dresses? :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy Burner Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Don't women that attend weddings, also wear dresses? :confused: A couple of years ago, my daughter attended a friend's wedding in a stylish (non-dress) outfit. Need to clarify that she broke her leg two weeks prior to the wedding in a volleyball game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I almost wish we had a Dear Abby type of thread.... i just wish we only had one, between hon_hog and mick, we have a thousand. as to the question, you aren't OBLIGATED, but you really should. it's your sisters big day. it isn't about you or what you like or don't like, it's about being there for your family. honestly, how many people in this world actually LIKE to dress up? i wasn't OBLIGATED to wear a tux at my wedding, but my wife wasn't digging a lavar arrington jersey and a 'skins fishing hat, so i wore the tux. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 maybe if I'm ever allowed to get married legally, I'll ask them to wear drag queen outfits to celebrate the festivities...I'm sure they would...No, really. I already bowed down and said I'd suck it up. Hey, I dress up for work all the time, no big deal. But I think that after 17 years....this will be a bit weird. So while I'll "grin and bear it." I don't have to like it. And honestly, the more I think about this...the more some liberal personality in me comes out getting all pissed off that I don't have the same opportunity, but I have to conform to theirs. such as life right? It won't kill ya I've done a nudist wedding once for a friend ,but I think I'd draw the line at a drag wedding....don't think I could manage the heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 ....don't think I could manage the heels. We have pics that suggest otherwise.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 We have pics that suggest otherwise.... Ah,you're just envious cause I looked better than you in the same dress:evilg: Jealousy is a terrible thing,besides magenta just isn't your color girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 well, funny thing is that I talked to my mom last night, and she surprisingly told me to decline the invitation. The more I think about it...this situation is a bit strange. My sister has been engaged for a year, has had this wedding planned for nearly that long w/ her 2 cousins standing up w/ her. So why all of a sudden is she asking me? I guess it's hard to explain, but me wearing a dress is like putting one of the guys in a dress....anyway, I keep going back and forth on it...we'll see what happens. Keetsman, I'm not getting married anytime soon.(at least I can't legally) And if I do, I am sure as hell not wearing a dress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No_Pressure Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 If you need to ask other people then the answer is already no. Some people are close, some people aren't. It is the type of thing that should go yes/no without question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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