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Favorite Movie Quotes


Califan007 The Constipated

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Phillip Raven: "I'm my own police."

--"This Gun for Hire" (1942)

Veronica Sawyer: "You have to #$#! with the eagles if you want to learn how to fly."

-- "Heathers" (1989)

Vanessa Lutz: "Look who got beat with the ugly stick!"

-- "Freeway" (1996)

Bart Tare: "We go together. I don't know how. Maybe like guns and ammunition go together"

-- "Gun Crazy (1949)

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President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The *Bomb*, Dmitri... The *hydrogen* bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ahm... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right.

Sellers ad lib'd the whole thing - they had to reshoot a few times because he kept making everyone laugh.

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President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The *Bomb*, Dmitri... The *hydrogen* bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ahm... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... *Of course* I like to speak to you!... *Of course* I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right.

Sellers ad lib'd the whole thing - they had to reshoot a few times because he kept making everyone laugh.

EXCELLENT scene lol :applause:...When I saw it I was rolling :rotflmao:...I could see how the rest of the cast kept laughing as well lol...

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"You're born, you take ****. You get out in the world, you take more ****. You climb a little higher, you take less ****. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what **** even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son."

-Eddie Temple

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Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?

Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.

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Office Space -

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

The Godfather: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.

Unforgiven -

Little Bill: I'll see you in hell William Munney.

Will Munney: Yeah. <shoots him>

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hartman.jpg

Full Metal Jacket, Jelly Doughnut Scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IayHnA0cGuc

Sgt. Hartman: Well now, let's just see if there's anything missing!.....Ho-ly Jesus, what is that!? WHAT the **** is THAT!? WHAT IS THAT PRIVATE PYLE?!!?!

Classic. For those who dig R. Lee Ermey's character in FMJ, check him out in a similar part in "The Boys in Company C" (1978).

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To undertaker: "Get three coffins ready."

To men: "See, now that's what I want to talk to you about. He's feelin' real bad. My mule. You see, he went and got all riled up when you went and fired those shots at his feet. See, I understand you men were just playin' around. But the mule, he just doesn't get it. Of course, if you were to all apologize...

I don't think it's nice of you, laughin'. See, my mule don't like people laughin'; he gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now, if you apologize (like I know you're goin' to), I might be able to convince him you really didn't mean it."

To undertaker: "My mistake - four coffins." A Fistful of Dollars

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The quote machine:

hartman.jpg

Full Metal Jacket, Jelly Doughnut Scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IayHnA0cGuc

Sgt. Hartman: WELL NOW, let's just see if there's anything missing!.....Ho-ly Jesus.....what is that!? WHAT the **** is THAT!? WHAT IS THAT PRIVATE PYLE?!!?!

A masterpiece if cinematic work.:applause: How did I forget those lines?:doh:

Do you maggots understand that?

Sound off like you've got a pair!

Just classic.

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President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho: [reading from teleprompter] "****! I know ****'s bad right now with all that starvin' bull****. And the duststorms. And we're running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution..."

- Idiocracy

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Sean Connery (Hunt for the Red October): "Ryan, be careful what you shoot at, some things in here don't react well to bullets."

Red October is full of good ones.

"I'm a politician, which means I'm a cheat and a liar; and when I'm not kissin' babies, I'm stealin' their lollypops."

"Central Intelligence. Now there's a contradiction in terms."

"Russkies don't take a dump without a plan, son."

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