Favorite Movie Quotes

[MintHillSkinsFan]

"Ain't we gonna bury them fellas, Josey?"

"Hell with them fellas." *spits* "birds gotta eat, same as the worms."

"Well, Mr. Carpetbagger, we got something in this territory called a Missouri boatride."

"Works on just about anything, huh?"

"Just about anything."

*spits*

"How is it with stains?"

Or pretty much any quote from The Outlaw Josey Wales?

[China]

A few more from Pulp Fiction

Jules: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

Brett: No.

Jules: Tell 'em, Vincent.

Vincent: A Royale with cheese.

Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?

Brett: Because of the metric system?

Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett!

Butch: What now?

Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' ******s, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

Captain Koons: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

[China]

From The Princess Bride:

Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow' us?

Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. - Out of curiosity, why do you ask?

Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.

Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters...

Vizzini: INCONCEIVABLE.

[in the boat in the morning]

Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

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Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inigo Montoya: Who are you?

Westley: No one of consequence.

Inigo Montoya: I must know...

Westley: Get used to disappointment.

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Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.

Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You've made your decision then?

Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?

Man in Black: Australia.

Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You're just stalling now.

Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.

Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!

Man in Black: Then make your choice.

Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?

Vizzini: [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]

Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.

Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.

Man in Black, Vizzini: [they drink ]

Man in Black: You guessed wrong.

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

Vizzini: [Vizzini stops suddenly, and falls dead to the right]

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Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

[AsburySkinsFan]

Top Gun: "This is what I call a target rich environment."

Top Gun: "The Department of Defense regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid."

The Godfather: "It's not personal, its just business."

Idiocracy: "It has electrolytes."

Animal House:

D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.

Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Otter: Germans?

Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.

[China]

From the Dirty Harry series:

Harry Callahan: May I make a statement, McKay?

Capt McKay: Go ahead!

Harry Callahan: Your mouthwash ain't makin' it.

Harry Callahan: Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here.

Crook: Who'se we sucka?

Harry Callahan: [slowly drawing his .44 Magnum] Smith and Wesson... and me.

[Callahan dares a crook to shoot his hostage]

Harry Callahan: Go ahead, make my day.

Harry Callahan: A man's got to know his limitations.

[SoulRebel]

The law is coming! You tell them I'm coming . . . and Hell's coming with me! You hear?! Hell's coming with me!

Wyatt Earp

Tombstone

Mine too!!

[The Sir]

I know a lot of people didn't like the movie or its ending, but I loved the ending dialogue in The Color of Money.

Hey, I'm back.

[jthor99]

"Old people yet slow behind the wheel still can serve a purpose. Don't you go dieing on me"- Dumb and Dumber

" You know a few baseball cards, sack of marbles, COUGH Petey!" "Lloyd Petey didn't even had a head!"...."Harry I took care of it!"

[jthor99]

"You said you gave Mary Jane a Pearl Necklace how much did that cost!?"

"You obviously missed the point of that story Brian"

Half Baked

[China]

From Groundhog Day:

Phil: [to the groundhog who he's holding behind the wheel of the truck he's driving] Don't drive angry. Do not drive angry.

[Califan007 The Constipated]

"One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach… all the damn vampires."

~The Lost Boys

"Caitlin, When this thing blows, there isn't going to be a magazine anymore! If you want to make this about Mike, make it about Mike. I don't give a ****. You can resent me, you can hate me, but come Monday morning, we're all going to have to answer for what we let happen here. We're all going to have an apology to make! Jesus Christ! Don't you have any idea how much **** we're about to eat? Every competitor we ever took a shot at, they're going to pounce. And they should. Because we blew it, Caitlin. He handed us fiction after fiction and we printed them all as fact. Just because... we found him "entertaining." It's indefensible. Don't you know that?"

~Shattered Glass

Stephen Glass: "Chuck...will you please take me to the airport?"

Chuck: "Jesus..."

Stephen: "Please, okay? You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. It's fine. But I can't be by myself right now. Okay? I'm...I'm afraid of what I'm going to do. And you know, l... I can't get there by myself."

Chuck: "I'm not going anywhere with you. Now, if you feel like you're a danger to yourself, you can sit down for a few minutes until you feel calm enough to go. But I am not going anywhere with you."

Stephen: "But... I'm afraid that I'm...I'm going to do something, okay?"

(silence)

Stephen: "Did you hear what I said?"

Chuck: "Yeah...It's a hell of a story."

~Shattered Glass

[SoulRebel]

Indiana Jones: Nazis. I hate these guys.

[Califan007 The Constipated]

Guido's son: "No Jews or Dogs Allowed." Why do all the shops say, "No Jews Allowed"?

Guido: "Oh, that. "Not Allowed" signs are the latest trend! The other day, I was in a shop with my friend the kangaroo, but their sign said, "No Kangaroos Allowed," and I said to my friend, "Well, what can I do? They don't allow kangaroos."

Guido's son: "Why doesn't our shop have a "Not Allowed" sign?"

Guido: "Well, tomorrow, we'll put one up. We won't let in anything we don't like. What don't you like?"

Guido's son: "Spiders."

Guido: "Good. I don't like Visigoths. Tomorrow, we'll get sign: "No Spiders or Visigoths Allowed."

**************************

Guido: [being shipped to a concentration camp with his young son] "You've never ridden on a train, have you? They're fantastic! Everybody stands up, close together, and there are no seats!"

Guido's son: "There aren't any seats?"

Guido: "Seats? On a train? It's obvious you've never ridden one before! No, everybody's packed in, standing up. Look at this line to get on! Hey, we've got tickets, save room for us!"

(after arriving at the concentration camp)

Guido's son: "I didn't like the train."

Guido: [to his son] "Me, neither. We'll take the bus back, okay?"

Guido: [to the Nazis] "Did you hear that? We're taking the bus back!"

~Life Is Beautiful

[artmonkforHOF]

some of my favorites from Dr. Strangelove.

"that's some nice shooting soilder!"

"come on Madrake, the redcoats are coming"

and from half baked

F*** you, F*** you, F*** you, your cool and f*** you! I quit."

[Califan007 The Constipated]

Chris Knight: "Have you ever seen a body like that before in your life?"

David Decker: "She happens to be my daughter."

Chris Knight: "Oh. Then I guess you have."

Professor Hathaway: "When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened?"

Chris Knight: "I got a haircut?"

Chris Knight: "Don't eat that!"

Girl at Party: "Why?"

Chris Knight: "Don't you know that eating that stuff can give you very large breasts?"

Chris Knight: [looks down] "Oh, my God! I'm too late!"

Professor Hathaway: "I want to see more of you around the lab."

Chris Knight: "Fine. I'll gain weight."

Chris Knight: "Kent puts his name on his license plate."

Mitch: "My mom does the same thing to my underwear."

Chris Knight: "Your mom puts license plates on your underwear? How do you sit?"

Mitch: "You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning... "

Chris Knight: "Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"

Mitch: "No..."

Chris Knight: "Why am I the only one who has that dream?"

Chris Knight: "So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know."

Susan: "Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?"

Chris Knight: "Not right now."

Professor Hathaway: "You are of no further use to me!"

Chris Knight: [pause] "Interesting way to begin a conversation.."

~Real Genius

[rincewind]

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho: [reading from teleprompter] "****! I know ****'s bad right now with all that starvin' bull****. And the duststorms. And we're running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution..."

- Idiocracy

My favorite part of that movie was the Carls Jr. machine:

Carl's Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!

Woman at Carl's Jr.: You didn't give me no fries, I got an empty box.

Carl's Jr. Computer: Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES?

Woman at Carl's Jr.: I said I didn't get any!

Carl's Jr. Computer: Thank you! Your account has been charged. Your balance is zero. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase.

Woman at Carl's Jr.: What? NO!

[she hits the machine. An alarm goes off, and a sign appears on the computer saying "Carl's Jr. Frowns Upon Vandalism."]

Carl's Jr. Computer: I'm sorry you're having trouble. I'm sorry you're having trouble.

Woman at Carl's Jr.: My kids are starvin'!

Carl's Jr. Computer: [the woman kicks the computer, and it sprays a chloroform-like substance in her face, knocking her out] This should help you calm down. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes that no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr...”**** You, I'm Eating."

[Joe approaches the computer]

Carl's Jr. Computer: Welcome to Carl's Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES!

[Califan007 The Constipated]

"He did NOT know who he was ****ing with..."

~Pitch Black

[HogNose]

Black Hawk Down:

Grimes: Why aren’t you shooting?

Waddell: We’re not being shot at yet.

Grimes: How can you tell?

Waddell: A hiss means it’s close. A snap means…

[a bullet whizzes close by]

Waddell: Now they’re shooting at us!

Midnight Express:

Billy Hayes: For a nation of pigs, it sures is funny you don't eat'em! Jesus Christ forgave the ****s, but I can't! I hate! I hate you! I hate your nation! And I hate your people! And I **** your sons and daughters because they're pigs! You're a pig! You're all pigs.

The Shining

Jack Torrance: Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in.

[Mr. Grundle]

Kid: Santa!

Willy: God damn it! Whoa! s***!

Kid: Want to see my report card?

Willy: You scared the holy s*** out of me.

Kid: Think I did good?

Willy: How would I know? I haven't seen the f***in' thing yet. Who the f*** is Thurman? Is your name Thurman?

Kid: Yeah.

Willy: Thurman Merman?

Kid: Yeah.

Willy: Jesus.

-Bad Santa

[Fuzzyskins]

TALADEGA NIGHTS

Mr. Dennit: Ricky, your little obscene gesture is going to cost you 100 points. Do you know how much that costs us in sponsorship dollars?

Ricky: With all due respect, Mr. Dennit, I had no idea you'd gotten experimental surgery to have your balls removed.

Mr. Dennit: What did you just say to me?

Ricky: What? I said it with all due respect!

Mr. Dennit: Just because you say that doesn't mean you get to say whatever you want to me!

Ricky: Yes, it does!

Mr. Dennit: No, it doesn't!

Ricky: It's in the Geneva Conventions, look it up!

[jaxskinsville]

"There are many, many, de-caffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing."

Val Kilmer - "Real Genius"

[HighOnHendrix]

The Shining

Jack Torrance: Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in.

Here's Johnny! :notworthy

[HighOnHendrix]

Soylent Green is people! - Soylent Green

There's no crying in baseball! - A League of Their Own

I'll be back. - The Terminator

May the force be with you. - Star Wars

[ldysknzfn1]

" You told Harpo to beat me. All my life I's had to fight. A girl child ain't safe in a family full of men. But I never thought I'd have to fight in my own home. You want a dead son-in-law Ms. Celie? Then you keep tellin him like you do b/c I'll kill him dead before I let him beat me".

Oprah Winfrey as Sophia in The Color Purple.

"Adrienne Adrienne..we did it Adrienne!". Rocky

"Luke...I am your father". Darth Vader Star Wars

[SkinsBry]

Ronin- De Niro's character (Sam) was asked, "You ever kill anyone?" to which Sam replied, "I hurt somebody's feelings once."