Destino Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html 'Marriage Is for White People'By Joy Jones Sunday, March 26, 2006; Page B01 I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether. But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I hate to say it, but a lot of these women today are getting exactly what they deserved. Most of these woman knew that their man wasn't about nothing when they slept with him. But I really don't know what she means by saying "marriage is for white people." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I hate to say it, but a lot of these women today are getting exactly what they deserved. Most of these woman knew that their man wasn't about nothing when they slept with him. But I really don't know what she means by saying "marriage is for white people." You might want to read the article then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpillian Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 It's certainly a catchy headline! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Weirdo Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Interesting piece. Thanks for posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 You might want to read the article then. Lol, that's a novel idea. Good read, though, very interesting points. I thought the last couple sentences were especially interesting As one woman said, "If it weren't for the intangibles, the allure of the lovey-dovey stuff, I wouldn't have gotten married. The benefits of marriage are his character and his caring. If not for that, why bother?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stwasm Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 It's another example of the disintegration of the black family. I was blessed to be raised by two black people who loved each other, had sense and did everything they could for me to ensure that I had what they weren't able to get. I probably could not have been as successful in life without their support system. Today, many black men are in jail, doing drugs, on the down-low and not taking any responsibility for their actions. That article shows a major consequence of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 You might want to read the article then. OK, I just read the article and she makes some points but she's wrong on some fronts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 It's another example of the disintegration of the black family. I was blessed to be raised by two black people who loved each other, had sense and did everything they could for me to ensure that I had what they weren't able to get. I probably could not have been as successful in life without their support system. Today, many black men are in jail, doing drugs, on the down-low and not taking any responsibility for their actions. That article shows a major consequence of that. I was on another message board discussing this, what is up with this "down low" thing? There's been guys of all races that have been on the "down low" for years. It's not just a black man thing. I think it's just another stigma/stereotype put on black men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oriolesfan93p Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 That is insightful for someone like myself. I never realized that our society, in any area, was declining in such a manner as to say that marriage isn't for them. Don't take this the wrong way, but is this possibly the reason why we see more black children out there causing problems because they don't have the proper home environment? That seems to be what one of the writers friends who works with adolecents was implying. People in this society all over are wondering why we are having a decline in morals of our children across the board, and maybe its because the adults need to own up to their own responsibilities and show what good morals are, act properly, and be an example instead of "just worrying about me" like everyone out there seems to do. Children look up to adults, not just their parents, and maybe if the ppl around these children were getting married and taking care of their children then we wouldn't be seeing all the troubled youth in america, that's across the board, not just black or just white, but everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelerSkins Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 all headline, no sotry ignorance, and no one cares Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zguy28 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Interesting. Thanks for posting, falling marriage numbers are something I have recently been following in our country. In my marriage I have noticed 2 things required for a great marriage. Men: Love and adore your wife above all others. Show it A LOT! Women: Praise and respect your husband. Even when you feel he doesn't deserve your respect. You'll be pleased with the result, my wife was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 all headline, no sotryignorance, and no one cares Huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endzone_dave Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I believe one point the article missed is how important it is becoming to have two incomes in a family. How many single folks own a home in Northern Virginia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonBurgundy&Gold Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I hate to say it, but a lot of these women today are getting exactly what they deserved. Most of these woman knew that their man wasn't about nothing when they slept with him. But I really don't know what she means by saying "marriage is for white people." This is the truth. It boggles my minds to hear females tell me stories about their relationships these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Very interesting article.. Now I can show it to my wife and say "LOOK! This could be you! Now cook me a steak!" Nah in all seriousness maybe women in general don't have the time or desire to commit to marriage. Women have grown by leaps as far as their careers go in the last 20 years. Life is different. Women have goals outside the home they want to accomplish. I don't see that as a bad thing at all. There should be a balance though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I bet it would be a better story if she did some fact finding on Occupations vs. divorce vs. Black/White/Asian/Monglolian vs. divorce... I never will understand how the same people that go to church every single sunday then get divorced because it's toooooo harrrrd! ALL my needs aren't being met... Divorce should never be based on anything more than: You made a ill informed decision to marry someone and the decided it was too hard for you to maintain because your lazy... (for the one that ended it) Its a personal responsibility: NOT a group issue. Other than we are not hard enough on the people that do it.. I've been divorced twice: Me being left... I understand them And I'm white.. shocker... And I have my babies... (one while in Korea in the Army) the other cause I'm impossible... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I think most problems in society can be traced back to the deterioration of family... but that is true of all races. Not just blacks. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
APBT Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 The problem is that some women try to get the most from a man in a short amount of time and some men just arent extending time for these type of women, because they know what they are about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I'm going to throw another twist into this thing. Something that was briefly mentioned at the end of the article.... the fact that this is NOT just an African-American issue. I'm a 31 year old, professional, college-educated, caucasian male who has never even been CLOSE to getting married. Of course part of that is due to the fact that I am about the ugliest human being on the planet. No lie. The other part of it, though, is largely the caucasian women out there in my age-range these days. I have certain (non-physical) attributes that I look for in the women that I date and that I could ever even consider be married to. They're mostly based on fairly traditional American family values and morals. I've found it nearly impossible to find any women in my age group who fit even a majority of the attributes I'm looking for, never mind one who's anywhere close to the "perfect" mold. My point: It's not just a black/white thing. It's also a male/female thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 The other part of it, though, is largely the caucasian women out there in my age-range these days. I have certain (non-physical) attributes that I look for in the women that I date and that I could ever even consider be married to. They're mostly based on fairly traditional American family values and morals. I've found it nearly impossible to find any women in my age group who fit even a majority of the attributes I'm looking for, never mind one who's anywhere close to the "perfect" mold. My point: It's not just a black/white thing. It's also a male/female thing. It's called LOVE, not shopping for a car. My suggestion is to try a different approach. :2cents: .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I'm going to throw another twist into this thing. Something that was briefly mentioned at the end of the article.... the fact that this is NOT just an African-American issue.I'm a 31 year old, professional, college-educated, caucasian male who has never even been CLOSE to getting married. Of course part of that is due to the fact that I am about the ugliest human being on the planet. No lie. The other part of it, though, is largely the caucasian women out there in my age-range these days. I have certain (non-physical) attributes that I look for in the women that I date and that I could ever even consider be married to. They're mostly based on fairly traditional American family values and morals. I've found it nearly impossible to find any women in my age group who fit even a majority of the attributes I'm looking for, never mind one who's anywhere close to the "perfect" mold. My point: It's not just a black/white thing. It's also a male/female thing. It could also have to do with the fact that you do not believe in the concept of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 The biggest determining factor in whether or not a person ends up in prison is not race, but family. The overwhelming supermajority of inmates in our prisons come from single parent homes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bird_1972 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I was on another message board discussing this, what is up with this "down low" thing? There's been guys of all races that have been on the "down low" for years. It's not just a black man thing. I think it's just another stigma/stereotype put on black men. I'm curious about this as well. I've been reading a lot about this. Seems to be a big issue in the AA community these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I was on another message board discussing this, what is up with this "down low" thing? There's been guys of all races that have been on the "down low" for years. It's not just a black man thing. I think it's just another stigma/stereotype put on black men. I think its considered a black thing for two reasons: 1. The name - "the down low" is a 'black term' 2. The book that came out about it (revealing it to most of America) was written by a black man. :2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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