Elessar78 Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 was all happy to make a joke...then i hit the search button. saw a penis with a bowtie on it. And your physiological reaction was? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 We're at Walgreens this last weekend (pharmacy + general store) and I hear "Daddy, its BIG!" I turn around, my wife almost passes out from embarrassment, and all I can do is laugh hysterically because my 3 year old has his....toolage.....in his hand. He's working it over. (edit: I should add we're completely potty trained and this phase is just beginning because of his underwear vs diabper change) She's still mad at me. I googled it and it's apparently natural and most boys do it. It's a sort of cause and effect learning tool (lol). I'm talking to him about 'privacy' and appropriate times to do said activities. I feel really dumb because he's 3 and isn't paying attention to me for the most part, but I'm being patient and working through it. /backstory Am I wrong for laughing? Hell no, I'd laugh too. Our friends that have boys have told us similar stories like that. Hell, we went to a beer tasting festival last May with our friends and we are all sitting there eating/drinking some beer. My daughter starts laughing and says to look at our friends son. Homey had straight up dropped his pants/underwear and was squatting to take a **** out in the middle of the festival. The mom was reacting like a mad woman, dad scooped him up and then took him to the bathroom lol. When we were at their cook-out later in the year, he just whipped it out and took a piss on the pool deck. Having a little girl, it's a ton different, obviously. She would get wedgies and start digging around trying to pull them out while yelling stuff like, "AAARGH stupid wedgies!!!!" in public. I thought it was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcsluggo Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 i was going to try and be funny with an "engorged" joke....then I made the mistake of google image searching "engorged." Between the close ups of blood-filled ticks and penis pics....what has been seen cannot be unseen. I think i could unsee as long as there were no engorged ticks and peni in the SAME picture...... that one would leave a mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocountyskins Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 The closest I've been to a long term relationship is putting my moms lipstick on wearing her dresses infront of the mirror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 as far as your old lady wearing your shirts, i think its kinda hot. now, wearing one of your good Redskins shirts, she should probably be choked while wearing it...lightly but firmly....if ya know what i mean. And make her scream out "Santana!" the whole time my wife wears my crap shirts mostly (old t-shirts that i wear around the house). she knows if she put on one of my good skins shirts, i'd slap her with this BBC. brown butter container. I have no problem with her wearing my shirts, with the exception of my dri-fit shirts, or ones I actually wear outside of the house. I get the whole makes me feel close to you when you aren't home thing...but really ? Take a shower and use my body wash. haha. I have this camo shirt that I used to do paintball in...I get that it is awesome, and I don't mind her wearing it. She text me last night. Where is MY camp shirt ? I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. She proceeds to send me a picture of herself using my computer...wearing one of my white T's. haha. Love her forever, but why the white T ? I wear a T under a T. I rocked my camo shirt with the camo rag and should have sent her a pic. She is awesome, certainly challenges my boundaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticVillain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 The closest I've been to a long term relationship is putting my moms lipstick on wearing her dresses infront of the mirror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 The closest I've been to a long term relationship is putting my moms lipstick on wearing her dresses infront of the mirror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 The closest I've been to a long term relationship is putting my moms lipstick on wearing her dresses infront of the mirror. Mr. Bates, is there a room available ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocountyskins Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 You're just haters of my moms style Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticVillain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 You're just haters of my moms style No, your mom's style is fine. Believe me, I know. We just went out last night. HIYO!!!!!! I had to take that shot, you left it over the plate lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chew Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 The closest I've been to a long term relationship is putting my moms lipstick on wearing her dresses infront of the mirror. would you **** me? She is awesome, certainly challenges my boundaries. that's what the good ones do LOL. My wife ****s with me all the time. to be quite honest, she's kind of an asshole. but in a sweet way LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocountyskins Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 When its my bday and I blow out the candles in going to wish that everyone on ES thinks I'm cool and likes me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ixcuincle Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 They have famous Dave's here 'salright Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 When its my bday and I blow out the candles in going to wish that everyone on ES thinks I'm cool and likes me! Not a bad wish No, your mom's style is fine. Believe me, I know. We just went out last night. HIYO!!!!!! So thats where she went after I dropped her off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticVillain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 So thats where she went after I dropped her off. Unnecessary man. Completely unnecessary.... But well played lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocountyskins Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Moms gotta make da money somehow. Mcdonalds won't pay foe da Gucci. on a side note I hope sinister does not kill himself when lebron leaves miami Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticVillain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 on a side note I hope sinister does not kill himself when lebron leaves miami This was necessary. Very necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 They have famous Dave's here 'salright You talking about the one on Quince Orchard? Their brisket is the best I've ever had Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chew Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 on a side note I hope sinister does not kill himself when lebron leaves miami Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 on a side note I hope sinister does not kill himself when lebron leaves miami If he leaves, then its whatever. He is free to do whatever he wants. Won't sweat him either way. I'll appreciate all the fond memories, and he'll be etched in stone as my #3 all time favorite Heat player. I will however, laugh my ass off if (if) he is by some stretch of the multiverse, guilt tripped back to Cleveland, of all places I'm not the kneejerk, overly emotional type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocountyskins Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I won't understand if he goes to Cleveland. That roster is 2 young to win a title. But if he goes to the cavs then Bosh to Houston and maybe Melo to the Lakers, gives the Wiz a decent chance to hit the EFC. Only teams better imo would be Cavs and Toronto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocountyskins Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Im the kneejerk reaction type. During Wiz games I tossed myself on the ground when Nene missed a FT. During Redskins game I lock myself in a room and watch the game by myself I yell and go crazy. I pace and worry. If the Redskins are up and people say "Don't worry we won" I lose my mind and start hitting the wall. Never jinx it ever. Then I call into 980 and start talking smack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chew Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I will however, laugh my ass off if (if) he is by some stretch of the multiverse, guilt tripped back to Cleveland, of all places This. it would be so funny, because he'd clearly be doing this with the intent to "clear his name" and not with the idea of winning 'ships. I lock myself in a room and watch the game by myself I yell and go crazy. I pace and worry. If oh my god THIS. i too am a nervous wreck. its so emotionally exhausting, i'm usually drained after skins games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elessar78 Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 "I'm taking my talents to Cleveland." —No One Ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Y'all need therapy "I'm taking my talents to Cleveland." —Misery, Homeless People, Gypsies,, and that "Death" thing from Final Destination Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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