MissU28 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 So tomorrow is the first day that I'm going to have a sub for my class...(please pray that my kids don't terrorize her)... Where am I going, you ask? (well, I'm pretty sure most of y'all didn't ask and most of y'all didn't care but...) SEX ED training! I get to go sit in a room with other 5th grade teachers from 8:30-4 learning about how to teach 10 and 11 year olds about sex. I start teaching it the week before Thanksgiving (so all that stuff can marinate in their heads over the break so they can ask their parents all the bad questions). Yes, folks. The sex knowledge of the future of America lies in my hands. Any tips to give the kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 So tomorrow is the first day that I'm going to have a sub for my class...(please pray that my kids don't terrorize her)...Where am I going, you ask? (well, I'm pretty sure most of y'all didn't ask and most of y'all didn't care but...) SEX ED training! I get to go sit in a room with other 5th grade teachers from 8:30-4 learning about how to teach 10 and 11 year olds about sex. I start teaching it the week before Thanksgiving (so all that stuff can marinate in their heads over the break so they can ask their parents all the bad questions). Yes, folks. The sex knowledge of the future of America lies in my hands. Any tips to give the kids? As a principal, I can tell you that you will be quizzed on this Thursday. I had to quiz my teachers. Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 As a principal, I can tell you that you will be quizzed on this Thursday.I had to quiz my teachers. Blondie i will pass with flying colors. I could TEACH sex ed. I could teach HONORS Sex Ed. Sex Ed AP! thanks for the heads up, blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 i will pass with flying colors. I could TEACH sex ed. I could teach HONORS Sex Ed. Sex Ed AP! thanks for the heads up, blondie As a principal.......do NOT tell YOUR principal you can teach HONORS sex ed. :laugh: Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 As a principal.......do NOT tell YOUR principal you can teach HONORS sex ed. :laugh: Blondie lol. Guess that wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. (but in reality i could teach it ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsNut73 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 7 hours of training on something that only lasts 2 minutes? Ooooops...did I say that out loud :paranoid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portisizzle Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 lol. Guess that wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. (but in reality i could teach it ) And do not ask for any extra credit work...... :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raub Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 God help us all :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 (Insert joke about "those who can't".) (What, you thought there wouldn't be any jokes? On this topic?) ----- Why do I have the feeling that you're going to spend 8 hours being told 1,000 different ways to say "Just say No"? (And being given a laundry list of things that you're not allowed to say.) ----- I seem to be in a rotten mood, lately. It's like the Skins lost and everybody's blaming Rock, or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 7 hours of training on something that only lasts 2 minutes? Ooooops...did I say that out loud :paranoid: :laugh: damn.... note to self....Cross off SkinsNut73 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I could teach HONORS Sex Ed. Sex Ed AP! thanks for the heads up, blondie Where do I sign up for that class, maybe tutoring will be necessary:laugh::laugh: and if i'm bad, send me to the principle:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 i will pass with flying colors. I could TEACH sex ed. I could teach HONORS Sex Ed. Sex Ed AP! thanks for the heads up, blondie dam i had the wrong teachers growing up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 You should have given the kids a reading assignment, then sent the sub the pop quiz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJeremy Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 As a Sex Ed instructor myself, MissU28 didn't think you know everything. You can join my Advanced Studies course when you feel up to the challenge! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :jk: And when you demonstrate a use of a condom on a banana...make sure you have the condom right side up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 As a Sex Ed instructor myself, MissU28 didn't think you know everything. You can join my Advanced Studies course when you feel up to the challenge!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :jk: And when you demonstrate a use of a condom on a banana...make sure you have the condom right side up. so it doesn't pop up and smack somebody in the face, like in Never Been Kissed? lolllllllllll.... Don't worry, I know how to roll a condom ...on a banana of course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burger35 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I went through sex ed in 9th grade and just like school I didn't learn a thing till I got some on the job training. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchogs Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 on a different note, i freaking hate having to use subs. they're largely worthless in terms of getting content taught, they struggle in maintaining an orderly classroom, and they manage to f-up the most basic lesson plans. i've had subs forget to assign my homework assignment, forget to collect things from the kids, and allow kids to use materials in the class that have nothing to do with the lesson plan. that and making a sub-friendly lesson plan takes 10x the energy and thougth to just teach the freakin' classes myself. i've never taken a sick day because it's more work to have a sub than it is to teach. all my missed days have been due to travel, and even then i hesitate. okay, back to the sex-ed jokes. reminds me of my students... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 so it doesn't pop up and smack somebody in the face, like in Never Been Kissed? lolllllllllll....Don't worry, I know how to roll a condom ...on a banana of course hmm the condom is not in the advanced classes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironmic Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 im scared to say something i might get banned................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. S Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 well, answer all the questions they will ask, the kids will love you for it. I remember in middle school the teacher was like 'im only answering these questions for your enjoyment" and was getting pissed off. This reminds me of Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsBry Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 The only advice I have is... Both sexes dig tongue rings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinInsite Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Don't forget: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Maybe you can use him as a sub: Or show them the South Park Episode on Sex Ed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proper_Condom_Use Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Monk Fan Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Any tips to give the kids? Given my life experience (married right of a high school, father at 18, divorced at 20, still fighting crazy ex-wife, not seeing enough of my son), tell them to wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Any tips to give the kids? From that South Park Episode, make sure they know all the sexual positions, including: As part of the humorous content, the episode features seven references to nicknamed sexual activity made by Mr. Garrison to his kindergarten students.1. The Filthy Sanchez is when, after anal sex, the giver inserts a finger or penis into the partner's anus and wipes the finger on the partner's upper lip. This gives the partner a "mustache" of fecal material and/or semen. 2. The Hot Karl is a sexual act in which the man performs anal sex on his partner, which could be male or female, and then the partner turns around right afterwards and performs oral sex upon the man. This practice is more commonly known as "ass to mouth". 3. Eating a Hot Lunch involves receiving oral sex from a woman while defecating on her chest. 4. The Glass Bottom Boat involves placing saran wrap over your sexual partner's face and then defacating there. 5. The ChiliDog is a sexual position where one defecates on a female's breasts and then proceed to engage in mammary intercourse with her. 6. The Fish Eye is a sexual activity involving placing a finger in the partner's anus. Thereupon they turn around in a one-eyed winking motion out of surprise to see what you are doing. 7. The Pile Driver is a standing version of the 69 sex position, from the wrestling move of the same name. 8. Wrap-around Butt Grab describes the sexual position known as the Missionary position where the woman grabs onto her male partner's buttocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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