Commander PK Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 This is one of the saddest, most insane things I've ever heard. Parents, talk to your kids for gods sake! There must have been absolutely no communication at all for a mother to not notice her 13 year old daughter was pregnant. To not notice something was wrong. :doh: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/nypost/20050119/cm_nypost/babyslayroom BABY-SLAY ROOM Wed Jan 19, 2:59 AM ET Op/Ed - New York Post By ANDREA PEYSER ON THE wall above her neatly made bed, the little Bronx girl kept the things that fill children's dreams: Here is a cartoon cutout of Cinderella, decked out in a silk ball gown. She dances across the wall into the childish paws of Winnie the Pooh. Beneath these innocent decorations sleeps a young girl of 13. The girl is a bit old for fairy tales. But she is far too young to even think about settling into the arms of a real man, prince or otherwise. But it was here that the 13-year-old gave birth to a son. She was alone. And she was afraid — terrified that the infant's cries would alert her own mother to the feverish reality playing out in her room. A baby's cries. That, say cops, prompted this girl to toss her baby out of the window, and into an alley on a freezing January morning. And then, she went to school. A baby is dead. A life ended even before he knew the warmth of a mother's arms. The sadness fills the Bronx streets. The pain is so unbearable, it cries out for someone to pay. But who is there to blame? The girl's mother blames herself. Family members say she is thinking of suicide. She wanted her daughter to grow up unscarred by the illegitimate pregnancies that plague The Bronx. She was a strict, caring parent. Now, she tortures herself with the question — Was I too strict? Had she talked to her daughter about sex — a 13-year-old having sex! — would her grandson be alive today? There's the baby's father, a boy of 15. He'd begged his girlfriend to tell someone about the pregnancy. She refused. When the boy learned what she had done, he retrieved his son from the alley where she'd thrown him, wrapped the infant in a "Happy Birthday" party bag, and placed him on the steps of a church. It was too late. Normally, when I hear of babies tossed out like trash, I scream for blood. Not this time. This was not a case of premeditation or rage. This was an act of sheer panic. The girl took no pains to hide her deed. And she went on with her day, as if nothing happened. Thirteen years old. I can only pray that the next little girl who finds herself trapped between an expanding belly and her stuffed teddy bears asks for help. She must know there are options. Adoption. Abortion. Anything but murder. The last thing the baby's father did for his son was to give him the only present he'd ever received. He gave him his name, Lazaro Jr. Rest in peace, little one. __________________________________________ Sad...Sad....Sad.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.A.C.O.L.B. Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I'm sure some of you are going to call for some harsh punishments for this girl, and I agree she should be punished to a degree. HOWEVER, I think the parents need to be held responsible in some fashion. I always hear about how horrible kids are these days but no one talks about how horrible parents are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 oh wow. that was so sad i cant believe this story :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manichispanic Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 this is why people shouldnt have sex this young. The consequences can have an effect on your mind state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jody Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 That's just plain awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I have two baby girls.. its a crushing story.. I can't watch movies that have bad things happening to children and wish i hadnt read this.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander PK Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 She was a strict, caring parent. Now, she tortures herself with the question — Was I too strict? She must not have been doing something right. I just can't fathom how a mother could NOT notice her 13 year old daughter was pregnant. Morning Sickness? Larger Belly? Mood Swings? Elusiveness? No period? For 9 months this girl carried a baby, and her mother didn't notice anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WallyG3 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 So sad. Need to go home and kiss my daughter now. Later folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDiplomat Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Painkiller She must not have been doing something right. I just can't fathom how a mother could NOT notice her 13 year old daughter was pregnant. Morning Sickness? Larger Belly? Mood Swings? Elusiveness? No period? For 9 months this girl carried a baby, and her mother didn't notice anything? Yeah, that definitely doesn't sound right. I wouldn't be suprised if something was left out of the story, or if someone is lying. No one noticed at all. Family? Friends? Teachers?????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visionary Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 What upsets me is the idea that her and others would rather kill their children then tell other people about them. Parents need to be way more emphathetic about these sorts of situations I think or at least make sure that the kids know that however they would react to finding out, it is not worse than this. Sad, so, so very sad. Not sure that harsher penalties are useful here, maybe just getting parents to pay more attention and being more open and emphathetic with their kids about any such problems. Not sure if this sort of thing can be enforced or if it just has to somehow come from the parents in general as more effort and more willingness, but it would be hard if it would work, unless the parents actually want it to. There will still always be tons of individual cases where either the parents or the daughters are just uncaring and it will obviously not change anything. Some sort of penalties might be neccessary in those cases, but I'm not sure how they could be enforced. It seems the best solution for right now at least, is to get stories like this out to the public, so that parents know what is going on and do care will be more caring and more concerned in general with their children and able to prevent such situations. But awareness fades after a while and sometimes in some cases so does concern, as awful as that is. So who knows what the best solution is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 This is what happens when you have a society that condmens any young girl who gets pregnant, The girls are told they are horrible sluts, but no one tries to help them by telling that it is not the end of the world and they can persevere. Or she is crazy, I don;t know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Painkiller She must not have been doing something right. I just can't fathom how a mother could NOT notice her 13 year old daughter was pregnant. Morning Sickness? Larger Belly? Mood Swings? Elusiveness? No period? For 9 months this girl carried a baby, and her mother didn't notice anything? When I was a counselor, I had a girl in my office.....who went into labor.......and she didn't even BEGIN to look pregnant. She had come into my office to tell me she was pregnant. We were talking about needing to tell her father. I had just gotten him on the phone to come to the school when she went into labor. She was somewhat puffy.......but nothing showing. Her mom had passed away and it was just her and her dad. I say these things because it can happen. Girls pretend to have a period. They dress baggy so any weight gain is not noticed. However, on another note. Have any of you heard the new song by American Idol winner Fantasia? The title of the song is Baby Mama. One line in it is ..."Cuz we the backbone (of the hood) " The song over all has a message, but I am still not sure how I feel about it. You might want to check this out. Baby Mama Our children just don't see what having a child at 13 means. It is not like having a doll. This story is so sad. Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Liberty This is what happens when you have a society that condmens any young girl who gets pregnant, The girls are told they are horrible sluts, but no one tries to help them by telling that it is not the end of the world and they can persevere. Or she is crazy, I don;t know. Before you rush to condem society,havn't you been in favor of lowering the age of consent? Laws and pressure from society only go so far ,in the end this family has to bear the blame IF it is placed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by twa Before you rush to condem society,havn't you been in favor of lowering the age of consent? Laws and pressure from society only go so far ,in the end this family has to bear the blame IF it is placed. Lowering the age of consent really has nothing to do with this. It is pressure from other people that made her feel depreesed and hopeless (you would have to to do something like this right?) her peers tell her to have sex and once she becomes pregnant she is called a slut if they know she is pregnant, or a murderer if she tries to abort it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade7 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 The parents are a joke. How do you not notice your child being pregnant? She gave birth to a kid INSIDE THE HOUSE and nobody knew or heard a thing? BS. That's the problem with kids today. A lot of parents suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Renegade7 The parents are a joke. How do you not notice your child being pregnant? She gave birth to a kid INSIDE THE HOUSE and nobody knew or heard a thing? BS. That's the problem with kids today. A lot of parents suck. Bingo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander PK Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Liberty It is pressure from other people that made her feel depreesed and hopeless (you would have to to do something like this right?) her peers tell her to have sex and once she becomes pregnant she is called a slut if they know she is pregnant, or a murderer if she tries to abort it. A society of victims. :doh: Liberty, maybe she was just scared she would get her arse whipped. If that's the case, then that is the mothers fault for not establishing a line of communication with her daughter, to where her daughter would have felt like it would have been BETTER to tell her mother, rather than toss the child out the window. (What kind of society do we live in where a child would chose this way...murder rather than take the heat?) Any way you slice it, it is the PARENTS who are at fault here. Peer pressure had nothing to do with it. The mother is at fault for 1. Not communicating with her child 2. Not paying enough attention to notice, what I'm sure were obvious signs. With all due respect to what Blondie stated, I still don't buy it. If the parents are doing their job, they notice. Something about this little girl had to change. If they had talked, her mom SHOULD have been able to tell something wasn't right. Questions should have been asked, which would have ultimately led up to the child telling the truth, if a little pressure was used. Here's another question. What was the 13 year old daughter doing alone with the 15 year old, that they could have sex in the first place? Am I saying they shouldn't be allowed to spend time. Nope. Am I saying they shouldn't have been spending time alone, without supervision. Absolutely. I willing to bet, when the child was conceived, it happened in a place where adults were nearby...i.e. behind somebody's closed door, and the parents just weren't paying attention. Hey dads, would you leave your 13 year old daughter alone in her room, for long periods of time with her 15 year old boyfriend? and don't give me any crap about trust. It's not about trust, it's about kids will be kids, and if given the opportunity, and a long enough leash, many will make bad decisions. At 13 and 15, this shouldn't have happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Painkiller A society of victims. :doh: Liberty, maybe she was just scared she would get her arse whipped. If that's the case, then that is the mothers fault for not establishing a line of communication with her daughter, to where her daughter would have felt like it would have been BETTER to tell her mother, rather than toss the child out the window. (What kind of society do we live in where a child would chose this way...murder rather than take the heat?) Any way you slice it, it is the PARENTS who are at fault here. Peer pressure had nothing to do with it. The mother is at fault for 1. Not communicating with her child 2. Not paying enough attention to notice, what I'm sure were obvious signs. With all due respect to what Blondie stated, I still don't buy it. If the parents are doing their job, they notice. Something about this little girl had to change. If they had talked, her mom SHOULD have been able to tell something wasn't right. Questions should have been asked, which would have ultimately led up to the child telling the truth, if a little pressure was used. Here's another question. What was the 13 year old daughter doing alone with the 15 year old, that they could have sex in the first place? Am I saying they shouldn't be allowed to spend time. Nope. Am I saying they shouldn't have been spending time alone, without supervision. Absolutely. I willing to bet, when the child was conceived, it happened in a place where adults were nearby...i.e. behind somebody's closed door, and the parents just weren't paying attention. Hey dads, would you leave your 13 year old daughter alone in her room, for long periods of time with her 15 year old boyfriend? and don't give me any crap about trust. It's not about trust, it's about kids will be kids, and if given the opportunity, and a long enough leash, many will make bad decisions. At 13 and 15, this shouldn't have happened. you may be right here, it is the people closest who have the most influencem and the parents would have to have done something wrong, but that brings us to another problem. Are we all the sum of what our parents teach us? Are we trule blank slates that can be filled out at an early age? Or are there some people that are inheretly evil and do things like murder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Liberty you may be right here, it is the people closest who have the most influencem and the parents would have to have done something wrong, but that brings us to another problem. Are we all the sum of what our parents teach us? Are we trule blank slates that can be filled out at an early age? Or are there some people that are inheretly evil and do things like murder. I believe we are [to a large degree] what our parents [and those that influence our lives] help make us IMO What a child is taught and experiences early in life molds them. However I also believe some people are truly evil in the most basic sense.:2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander PK Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Liberty you may be right here, it is the people closest who have the most influencem and the parents would have to have done something wrong, but that brings us to another problem. Are we all the sum of what our parents teach us? Are we trule blank slates that can be filled out at an early age? Or are there some people that are inheretly evil and do things like murder. At 13, Yes you are the sum of what your parents teach you. Peer Pressure will only provide adversity...adversity that will ultimately be overcome, if you have parents who are as involved in their child's life as they should be. I know it sounds like I'm coming down really hard on parents...but I do believe in all fairness that parenting today is a nightmare. You have adversity at every corner, on T.V, in Music, in Movies, that all tell your kids they will be "cooler" if they do things that you tell them they shouldn't. Like, have sex, do drugs, break the laws, etc. etc. Parenting today is tough...but with that said...if you don't want the responsibility of raising a child, then DON'T HAVE ONE. One of my best friends doesn't want to have any kids, and the reason he gave me, is because once you have them...it's all about the kid. Everything in your life revolves around the kid. Well, yes it does, if your are parenting the way you should be. That's the cross you have to bare if you want to be a parent. As far as your comment about people being born inherently evil. Yes, I believe some people are. Could this girl have been one of them...possibly. I think it was more, she was scared to death of her mother, and would rather kill her child then tell her mom she had a baby. That's crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 This to me is just another example of the breakdown of the family unit. Putting aside all religous arguments[i don't care what or even if you are religous] the FAMILY is the basic unit of humanity and its loss[thru divorce or our putting our own needs first] is the greatest tragedy of our time.:2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Liberty you may be right here, it is the people closest who have the most influencem and the parents would have to have done something wrong, but that brings us to another problem. Are we all the sum of what our parents teach us? Are we trule blank slates that can be filled out at an early age? Or are there some people that are inheretly evil and do things like murder. i think your parents values can only take you so far. you have to grow up at some point and be able to make your own opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade7 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 In between fear and carelessness is respect. That's the main thing that makes my dad so effective as a parent. I respect him and what he says and teaches. Respect is earned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I couldn't stand to read through the story. I already get it. It's disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KDawg Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I have a HUGE issue with this entire piece... The girl is in her room, in labor, and she gives birth to her child and cuts the umbilical cord? A thirteen year old girl went through all that and acted like a trained professional in giving birth only to chuck her son out of the window? There's alot about this story that doesn't add up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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