WP: Are parents ruining youth sports? Fewer kids play amid pressure.

[SkinsHokieFan]

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/are-parents-ruining-youth-sports-fewer-kids-play-amid-pressure/2015/10/04/eb1460dc-686e-11e5-9ef3-fde182507eac_story.html?tid=sm_tw   Are parents ruining youth sports? Fewer kids play amid pressure.

 

The number of children playing team sports is falling, with experts blaming a parent-driven focus on elite travel clubs, specialization in one sport and pursuit of scholarships for hurting the country’s youth sports leagues.

Baseball, basketball, softball, soccer and touch football — long staples of American childhood — have all taken hits, worrying public health advocates, league organizers and professional sports organizations.

More than 26 million children ages 6 to 17 played team sports in 2014, down nearly 4 percent from 2009, according to a widely cited survey by the Sports and Fitness Industry Association. Total sports played have plummeted by nearly 10 percent.

Some of the drop-off is attributable to the recession, particularly in low-income urban areas. But experts fear larger socioeconomic forces are in play, especially in the suburbs, where the shift to elite competition over the past two decades has taken a growing toll: Children are playing fewer sports, and the less talented are left behind in recreational leagues with poor coaching, uneven play and the message that they aren’t good enough. Seventy percent of kids quit sports by age 13.

“The system is now designed to meet the needs of the most talented kids,” said Mark Hyman, a professor of sports management at George Washington University and the author of several books on youth sports. “We no longer value participation. We value excellence.”

 

 

[Destino]

What's wrong with the less talented being "left behind" (an odd perspective) in rec leagues? They aren't built to make a career or even college career in sports and should be playing them for fun. This article seems oddly inconsistent in it's logic. Rec leagues are frowned upon yet the writer fondly remembers a time of neighborhood pick up games and a less competitive atmosphere.

[Kosher Ham]

Seems as if parents and coaches see the potential for a great athlete, they want to maximize it. I don't see the problem.

 

My wife's second cousin is 11 years old, he is 6'1 ~200lbs., because of his age the team he plays on most kids are barely 5' 100lbs.

 

That's for both football and basketball.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting the best coaching, facilities, or teachers for your children.

 

As Des points out the writer is trying to talk out of both sides.  If we didn't value participation...why give out trophies for everyone ? I certainly never got rewarded if I came fourth in a track event, second in a basketball tournament, second in a football tournament.

[Elessar78]

As someone who coaches high(er) level youth soccer, yes there's truth to what the article is saying. 

 

It's either you're elite at Sport X or play something else that you will be elite in. 

 

The stat is that there's a 75% drop out rate in youth sports by age 13. That's sad. What is equally bad is how it affects families. Everyone runs around, no time for sit down dinners. Nutrition suffers, ironically, for athletes that need it most because they have to eat on the run. There's not even enough time for adequate rest especially for multi-activity kids. Early sport specialization is also a big issue where young athletes only develop one set of skills. There's also the financial hit families take to provide these experiences.

 

And because all these factors I mention above add up to so much, financially, physically, emotionally: there are a lot of parents that apply pressure to their kid to excel to make it worth all they put into it. 

[Warhead36]

I've both coached and officiated youth sports(soccer), and yes parents are a huge problem. Although red carding and throwing out an overzealous dad is always amusing.

[Elessar78]

Seems as if parents and coaches see the potential for a great athlete, they want to maximize it. I don't see the problem.

 

My wife's second cousin is 11 years old, he is 6'1 ~200lbs., because of his age the team he plays on most kids are barely 5' 100lbs.

 

That's for both football and basketball.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting the best coaching, facilities, or teachers for your children.

 

As Des points out the writer is trying to talk out of both sides.  If we didn't value participation...why give out trophies for everyone ? I certainly never got rewarded if I came fourth in a track event, second in a basketball tournament, second in a football tournament.

I think the article is about total participation in sports dropping. The "elite" have never had and prob never will have a problem  with numbers. Although the number of teams we play against that have the words "Elite" or "Premier" attached to their name is laughable—if have the teams in the league are labeled "elite" then is anyone really? 

 

It's the parents who have over-appraised junior's potential that is a problem. 

 

The other side of the equation is that if you want better coaching, you have to go to the higher leagues which are in turn more competitive. I used to volunteer (now I get paid) but I didn't enjoy the commitment level of "rec" and "travel" players. And it's not unfair because the alternative can be truly bad from a coaching perspective—not enjoyable, not educational. 

[Popeman38]

What's wrong with the less talented being "left behind" (an odd perspective) in rec leagues? They aren't built to make a career or even college career in sports and should be playing them for fun. This article seems oddly inconsistent in it's logic. Rec leagues are frowned upon yet the writer fondly remembers a time of neighborhood pick up games and a less competitive atmosphere.

They aren't saying the less talented are being left behind, but that the entire rec league is being left behind because good coaching flocks to travel/premier leagues for the money/swag. So the kids that just want to play and have fun are having that experience ruined by unqualified coaches who don't know what they are doing making the experience "no fun" so the kids quit.

 

My daughter's rec league soccer coach is literally a couple that knows nothing about soccer.

Seems as if parents and coaches see the potential for a great athlete, they want to maximize it. I don't see the problem.

 

My wife's second cousin is 11 years old, he is 6'1 ~200lbs., because of his age the team he plays on most kids are barely 5' 100lbs.

 

That's for both football and basketball.

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting the best coaching, facilities, or teachers for your children.

 

As Des points out the writer is trying to talk out of both sides.  If we didn't value participation...why give out trophies for everyone ? I certainly never got rewarded if I came fourth in a track event, second in a basketball tournament, second in a football tournament.

What is wrong is steering that kid into 1, and only 1, sport and making it a job.

[tshile]

To take a different one, because I think there is another reason kids might not be inclined to continue playing sports:

 

I've had the pleasure of watching my nephew play little league baseball. Both in the major spring league and in the more development (and significantly smaller) fall league this year.

 

We're talking about 7-9 year old kids here.

 

And the one thing I noticed, above everything else, was how awful all the parents were. I mean they were absolutely awful.

 

The things they would say, how much they would yell at coaches, umpires, etc. It was just absolutely ridiculous. Their priorities were about as upside down as it could get.

 

I can't wait until my son is old enough to play sports, and I really hope he does want to play sports. But that's one side of it I'm going to hate. I've never seen a larger collection of douchebags in one setting than parents at their kids sporting events.

 

They treated every play, ever call, every decision like that was going to prevent their kid from getting  scholarship one day.

 

I watched kid after kid make a mistake, and (while the play was still going on) stop and look at their parent in the crowd only to see their mom/dad cussing up a storm, throwing their arms around, and essentially confirming to this 7, 8, or 9 year old - Yeah you're a major ****up and not only did everyone see it, but I'm going to make sure everyone knows how disappointed in you I am.

 

It's among the sadder things I've seen, in terms of looking at society. It's no wonder kids are dropping out, who the hell wants to deal with that crap at that age?

 

My nephew's coaching staff from spring league had a 'falling out' because they got in a hue argument over who should and shouldn't be pitching to the kids. It was a complete joke. At some point all the adults seem to have forgotten who these leagues are for; it's not them, but you wouldn't know it by just sitting back and observing.

[Elessar78]

And the word needs to get out about scholarships. Parents are doing the math all wrong if they justify participation with the potential for a college scholarship.

 

D1 a full scholarship in soccer, at least, is very rare. Only 4% of all players get a scholarship (partial or full) or "incidentals" (books/room and board).

 

So the $30,000 you spend between age 6 to 17 for soccer is better saved in an account and having your kid play just regular old "travel soccer".  IF scholarships are your goal. 

 

 

And the one thing I noticed, above everything else, was how awful all the parents were. I mean they were absolutely awful.

 

Clubs should not stand for that ****. 

 

If a parent is loud and obnoxious or shouting instructions or questioning the refs. We call the kid over, even if he is in the middle of the game. And he's instructed to run over to his parent and tell him to quiet down or coach is taking me out of the game. Very effective. 

[Destino]

I can't square what I see described as adult behavior with what I remember as a little kid. My dad would show up to little league games with me and find a shady spot for his chair so he could promptly fall asleep. Most of the adults just spent the games talking amongst themselves and sometimes remembering to clap, at times without any obvious reason to do so.

[rictus58]

I have daughters. One of them is on a rec. Cheerleading squad. $200 for the season. She made the "elite" cheer squad at local place. The annual cost for me would have been in the $4k-$5k range. F that noise. The rec coach treats the squad like it were an elite team. 2-3 practices a week for 2 hours. In the evening. Which makes it tough on our family dynamic. Add in she does Dance too, and it's a full plate for a 6th grader. I've seen enough rec. programs that, from a time commitment, are inching towards the travel leagues. But what can you do if you want your children involved in something?

[tshile]

Clubs should not stand for that ****. 

 

If a parent is loud and obnoxious or shouting instructions or questioning the refs. We call the kid over, even if he is in the middle of the game. And he's instructed to run over to his parent and tell him to quiet down or coach is taking me out of the game. Very effective. 

 

I wish they'd do something about it.

 

Around here every parent is an entitled prick who thinks their kid is perfect, never does anything wrong, and everything is the fault of someone else. Everything - making mistakes in sports, misbehaving in school, bad grades, poor SAT score, drugs... lol, drugs are the worst, around here if your kid gets good grades, plays sports, and is nice to adults then there's no way ever your kid would do drugs so you can just pretend that's not possible (then we wonder why we have a drug problem in our schools, a serious one)

 

If the coaches tried to do that the parents would probably conspire to get the coach removed from the league. I'm not kidding.

I can't square what I see described as adult behavior with what I remember as a little kid. My dad would show up to little league games with me and find a shady spot for his chair so he could promptly fall asleep. Most of the adults just spent the games talking amongst themselves and sometimes remembering to clap, at times without any obvious reason to do so.

 

That's what I remember too.

 

When I didn't get any playing time in baseball my dad would take me to the field at school and pitch a bucket of balls to me. Throw the ball, and hit grounders.

 

Today it seems like if a kid isn't getting playing time the only answer the parent have is to 'talk to the coach' (which is more like yelling and demeaning)

 

Or even worse, if someone's kid is really good and has to sit down so some other kids get a chance to play? Oh... watch out.

 

(There were some awesome parents but they were few and far between, and easily dwarfed by the rest.)

 

And the umpires.... hah. i have NO idea why any of them do it. There were multiple times where I said to my wife - I'd drop my equipment and leave, this is ridiculous.  Of course the only ones being hurt in that case is the kids, so... really no good option.

[Corcaigh]

There's a whole mix of factors at play:

 

(1) yes, some parents are assholes

(2) yes, some coaches have lost the plot on what youth sports are about. As an official you would not believe the number of times I hear a coach talking about how angry or disappointed they are in the kids. Not offfering corrective action, but whining like the kids are intentionally screwing up to upset the coach.

(3) yes, kids are way over scheduled - leading to another problem with rec sports not being given a priority. When I coached my kids in youth rec sports there were many kids who regularly missed practice because they had a higher priority activity to go to, such as piano, dance or martial arts where they were paying high fees and so the rec sport was not respected. Lack of respect for volunteer coaches is another sign of asshole parenting.

(4) the 'elite' naming thing is comical. 'Elite' or 'premier' teams are typically the weaker sides.

[Elessar78]

The article is right about travel. It's become a prestige thing to say we go to far flung locations. Two years ago, I got some nasty back channel chatter because I opted to stay local (45 min) for a tournament instead of a 4 hour trip. The team was struggling, so didn't see a point to driving a long way to take a beating (when we could take a beating locally ). Nevermind that the teams we played traveled several hours to come to us, so essentially the same effect.

 

A few of the teams in our league, once, drove 8-10 hours to a tournament. Ended up playing each other anyway. That's irony.

[tshile]

.

(3) yes, kids are way over scheduled - leading to another problem with rec sports not being given a priority. When I coached my kids in youth rec sports there were many kids who regularly missed practice because they had a higher priority activity to go to, such as piano, dance or martial arts where they were paying high fees and so the rec sport was not respected.

 

Between wanting to keep your kids out of trouble (drugs or general mischief) and wanting to keep them outside doing things (instead of playing video games) I could completely see that.

 

And I must admit, my wife and I were planning on trying to keep our kids busy for the same purposes. I could easily see how that leads to over scheduling.

[Elessar78]

Between wanting to keep your kids out of trouble (drugs or general mischief) and wanting to keep them outside doing things (instead of playing video games) I could completely see that.

 

And I must admit, my wife and I were planning on trying to keep our kids busy for the same purposes. I could easily see how that leads to over scheduling.

I remember thinking that in highschool growing up in Fairfax. If I just had things to do, I (probably) wouldn't be here drinking. It was boredom more than anything. 

[Corcaigh]

Regarding asshole parents, the leagues need to do something about it. There needs to be a site manager who will address it, or some procedure, ideally not the game official but could be the coaches. As an official I used to not care if parents were misbehaving, and just ignore it, but it's toxic for the kids and bad behavior needs to be stopped. In VHSL sports before every game there is a long announcement about sportsmanship. As soon as parents start their negativity, I have a game manager go talk to them. Zero tolerance. Totally changes the atmosphere to a positive one.

[Corcaigh]

The article is right about travel. It's become a prestige thing to say we go to far flung locations. Two years ago, I got some nasty back channel chatter because I opted to stay local (45 min) for a tournament instead of a 4 hour trip. The team was struggling, so didn't see a point to driving a long way to take a beating (when we could take a beating locally ). Nevermind that the teams we played traveled several hours to come to us, so essentially the same effect.

 

A few of the teams in our league, once, drove 8-10 hours to a tournament. Ended up playing each other anyway. That's irony.

 

Parents moan about fees, and then want to spend more money on far flung tournaments. Coaches are often to blame too in driving up the cost as some see it as a lucrative source of income. U10s, U12s and U14s having sessions with speed, strength and conditioning coaches, rather than focusing on enjoyment and doing drills in their sport that will help address those needs.

 

Kids and parents would be much better served with merging many of the travel teams into a few clubs, and the genuinely elite teams comprised of the best players could travel to big tournaments as part of their development. In contrast you have teams struggling to put together a competent squad, and insisting on playing 11 v 11 when they lack basic skills. Exactly the opposite of what development should be.

[Elessar78]

Site managers/stewards is a fantastic idea. Yeah, blame the ref 'cause your kid does the minimum amount of practice on his own (if at all) and dogs it in practice.

[Corcaigh]

Site managers/stewards is a fantastic idea. Yeah, blame the ref 'cause your kid does the minimum amount of practice on his own (if at all) and dogs it in practice.

 

I'm going to propose that VHSL changes its pre-game announcment on sportsmanship to instead show this clip:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwaroatABu4

[PeterMP]

I can't square what I see described as adult behavior with what I remember as a little kid. My dad would show up to little league games with me and find a shady spot for his chair so he could promptly fall asleep. Most of the adults just spent the games talking amongst themselves and sometimes remembering to clap, at times without any obvious reason to do so.

 

My 10 year old daughter plays soccer.  This summer she played on a "special" summer team (everybody that tried out made the team, but in theory it was kids from a couple of different towns).

 

There were parents at the side line yelling for their kid to make certain throws/kicks in the game irrelevant of what their position was.

 

Their was one mom that had decided that her daughter was the best kid at throw ins, and it didn't matter what position her daughter was playing or where the throw was, she would yell for her daughter to take the throw.

 

I don't honestly think that the mother understood the basic positioning concepts related to soccer.  It was just my kid is really good at throw ins and so she should take every throw.

 

And it wasn't just her doing this sort of thing.

 

The coach eventually sent out an e-mail telling the parents to be quite during the game.

[Corcaigh]

 

The coach eventually sent out an e-mail telling the parents to be quite during the game.

 

Everyone at a game needs to select one, and only one, role:

 

• Player 
• Coach
• Official
• Parent

[PeterMP]

It's hard.  There is such a push to play "travel" that the rec leagues get decimated, but some of that comes from the kids.  Their friends play travel, and they want to too.

 

And there isn't enough left for a rec league.

 

My daughter plays "travel" soccer (we never travel more than 30 min), and there are 2 travel teams from my town, but even if there was only 1 travel team, there wouldn't be enough kids for a rec league.

 

You could make 1 or 2 soccer teams.  They can't really just play each other over and over again.

 

My daughter likes to play soccer.  I don't have any illusions about her ever getting a scholarship, and I also agree with the point made above about money.  I have brothers that have gone that way with their kids for baseball and wrestling, and you'd easily be better off saving the money and putting in to college (and that's also less restrictive.  I have 2 nephews that realistically have gone to academically inferior schools than they could have because those are the schools that gave them scholarship money).

 

But in terms of socialization and getting exercise we want to see her play something, and she's chosen soccer.  I'd like to see her play basketball too (she might actually have a future in that in terms of scholarships), but she doesn't want to.

 

The other thing about these things today is for some of them, they go year round now.

 

My daughter plays soccer essentially all year.  She had the month of August off, and she'll have part of Nov/Dec off.  I was talking to another dad whose daughter does softball.  She played every weekend this summer.  They had 2 weeks off in Aug, and then they started "fall ball".

 

His daughter isn't a softball star.

 

We had her play basketball last year, but in my area that's pretty low key and its during the winter, when soccer is pretty low key.  But balancing between soccer where I live and something else in the spring, summer, or fall just wouldn't be possible I don't think.

 

What is really crazy to me is the people that run more than one sport like this through the year.  I don't know how they have the time and manage to keep their kids school work going.

 

(I suspect that many of them don't, but that's a different topic.)

 

I wouldn't allow my daughter to play softball and soccer.  She just wouldn't be able to keep up with them both, school, and have any sort of life.

 

If it was, I want to play softball, it would be well then we are going to drop soccer for that season, and if she does that, she'll fall behind the other girls, which will hurt her ability to play and make teams the next year.

 

If she wanted to do that I'd let her, but missing that soccer time would be something I'd tell her she'd have to consider, but I'm not going to try and run soccer and softball at the same time.

 

Where I live they both just demand too much.

[Sticksboi05]

They're ruining it for coaches, that's for sure. 

[Corcaigh]

They're ruining it for coaches, that's for sure. 

 

And kids. And officials.