mcsluggo Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 the Bremen-town musicians... . 12 hours ago, China said: Camel, cow, donkey found roaming together along Kansas road Authorities have found the owners of a camel, cow and donkey that were spotted roaming together along a Kansas road in a grouping reminiscent of a Christmas Nativity scene. Police in Goddard had asked for help over the weekend in a Facebook post locating the owners of the “three friends travelling together (towards a Northern star).” The post said that if police couldn’t find the owners, they would be “halfway toward a live nativity this Christmas season.” Sedgwick County Sheriff’s Lt. Tim Meyers says the animals belonged to an employee of the nearby Tanganyika Wildlife Park. Amid the search, one poster inquired, “Are there 3 wise looking men near?” Another said, “who knows, they may lead you to the second coming.” Click on the link for the full article bremen town ^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 4 minutes ago, mcsluggo said: the Bremen-town musicians... . bremen town ^^^ Reminds me of part of the children's book Petunia (go to 5:57): https://archive.org/details/petunia_201705 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store got a tank to 'catch bad guys' The big yellow candy barn just off Highway 169 found itself a target for a robber who’s been cutting his way through Scott County. When this unknown thief stole money from their registers, Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store boldly upped the ante. Now, where once there'd been a pumpkin patch, visitors will find a tank perched atop a big ol’ pile of dirt, where it presides over the sweet expanse of childlike whimsy. It all makes for a jarring picture. Or, to borrow the words of one commenter on the store’s Facebook page, “Well that escalated quickly.” Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BleedBNG Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 "He picked the wrong house": Bodybuilder, 82, fights break-in suspect Rochester, N.Y. – An 82-year-old woman found herself in danger after she says a man broke into her home – until she turned the tables on the intruder. Willie Murphy says she was getting ready for bed Thursday night, just after 11 p.m., when a man began pounding on her door. “He was outside and saying, ‘Please call an ambulance,’ saying, ‘I’m sick, I’m sick,’” she said. She called the police, but wouldn’t let him inside. That, she says, is when he became angry. “I hear a loud noise,” she said. “I’m thinking, what the heck was that? The young man is in my home. He broke the door.” What the suspect likely didn’t realize is Murphy is an award-winning bodybuilder who works out at the Maplewood YMCA almost every day. “He picked the wrong house to break into,” she said. Murphy says it was dark, so she was able to hide as the suspect walked through her house. She acted quickly and grabbed the closest thing she could find. “I picked up the table, and I went to work on him,” she said. ‘The table broke.” “And when he’s down,” she continued, “I’m jumping on him.” She says, once the suspect was injured, she ran and grabbed a bottle of shampoo – and started pouring it on him. “I grabbed the shampoo,” she said. “Guess what? He’s still on the ground. In his face, all of it, the whole thing.” “I got the broom,” she continued. “He’s pulling the broom. I’m hitting him with the broom.” Finally, officers arrived. The man was sent to the hospital and Murphy was applauded by first responders. Click on the link for the full article 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 ‘Perineum sunning’ is latest insanity wellness influencers swear by Butt sunning can be a group activity. They’re soaking up some rays where the sun don’t shine. The hottest trend gripping wellness die-hards is tanning their cans, or “perineum sunning,” as influencers are calling it. “In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,” says an influencer, who goes by Ra of Earth. In a viral video that has racked up more than 35,000 views, he gestures toward the sun as three naked men lie down, point their backsides to the sky and make sounds of pleasure. One Californian claims butt-chugging vitamin D not only helps her sleep better but helps to regulate her hormones. All's well until you get sunburn on your labia Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Josh Brolin Tried “Perineum Sunning” and It Completely Ruined His Day Josh Brolin, the Academy-Award nominated actor who turned in bravura performances in No Country for Old Men, Hail, Caesar!, and Inherent Vice, to say nothing of his work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, has sustained what he described as “#severeperineumburns” after trying out “perineum sunning,” the latest in Instagram wellness trends. Click on the link for more 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BleedBNG Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 7, 2019 Share Posted December 7, 2019 Thanks Japan! Camel Toe Underwear Is A Thing Now, And People Are Actually Buying It Although the world has made some progress in terms of body positivity and just accepting and admiring different body types as they are, we still have quite a long way to go. The beauty and fashion industry, in particular, seem to be caught in some kind of an internal battle with some parts of the industries continuing to perpetuate unrealistic body types and expectations. Shattering our belief that we'd seen the worst of it, we recently came across an item that just about makes us want to evaporate off the face of this earth. With utmost regret, allow me to introduce you to fake camel toe underwear. Click on the link for more 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 STICK SHIFT SIMPLETONS: Manual transmission foils York U. theft A man was robbed at gunpoint at York University last week by crooks who then attempted to steal his car. But Toronto Police — who revealed Thursday that two teen boys have been arrested for the robbery — say the vehicle theft was foiled by a manual transmission. Apparently, neither of the would-be car thieves knew how to drive a stick shift. The armed robbery unfolded around 3 a.m. on Nov. 28 after a man, 22, parked his vehicle at a secure lot on the campus near The Chimneystack Rd. — southwest of Keele St. and Steeles Ave. W. Police say the victim exited his car and was followed by two culprits. “As the victim neared one of the university buildings, he was ambushed from behind and put into a headlock,” Det. Dion Monahar said in a statement released Thursday. “A handgun was pressed into his stomach and a demand was made for property.” The detective added the victim handed over his phone, keys, cash and other belongings before the bandits tried to steal his car. “The (robbers) could not operate a manual vehicle so they stole items from inside the car before fleeing on foot,” Monahar said. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Woman who had ‘blowup doll’ surgeries suffers complications Meet Mary Magdalene, a devout “wannabe blowup doll.” At only 24 years of age, the Toronto native is certainly on a crusade: MM says she’s shelled out $100,000 to modify her body with a brow lift, three nose jobs, cheek and lip fat transfers, a trio of boob jobs, 20 dental veneers, “Brazilian butt lifts,” numerous lip fillers — and a “custom-designed” vagina. See, while many women seek to surgically minimize their labia, Magdalene is on a quest to acquire “the fattest in the world,” resulting in swelling and pain that requires frequent medical consultations. “It’s a lot better than it was [but] I have complications with the fat, so I will need to keep getting vagina injections to even it out,” she tells Jam Press. “I am worried about one side, because it keeps growing. I think it’s probably from the swelling.” It’s worth it, Magdalene claims, because the extensive body work spiked her once-mousy confidence level — and helped her express herself artistically. “I feel horny when I look at myself,” admits Magdalene, who started stripping at 17 to fund her aspirational appearance. She also claims her plumped parts give her special bedroom prowess. “I have been making paintings with my vagina,” she says. “So this surgery has really inspired me to be more creative as well.” Click on the link for the full article and video (that poor dog) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 Moschino debuts giant backpack, gets mocked on Twitter A (laughably) large Moschino backpack made its "subway catwalk" debut Dec. 9, during the fashion house's Prefall 2020 runway show. Though the massive bag was just one of many large accessories featured in the show — which was comprised of mostly oversized items, including giant fanny packs, purses, and, at one point, a lighter — it was the one that most struck a chord on Twitter, which has since tirelessly mocked the look. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 (edited) Look at his hands! https://imgur.com/gallery/eaLd9vQ Edited December 19, 2019 by Riggo-toni Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 ^^^^There's a joke in there somewhere about labia and roast beef. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 Complaint: Kenosha man causes scene at BP Gas Station after employee refused to buy his can of Spam A Kenosha man is facing multiple charges after allegedly stealing a truck from a former employee and causing a scene at a gas station in Racine. Officers responded to the BP Gas Station, located at 3900 Durand Avenue, shortly after 9 a.m. on December 19 for a report of an unwanted party. According to the criminal complaint, an employee called police because a man, later identified as Murphy Hooks, entered the store and attempted to sell a can of Spam. The employee refused the can of Spam which angered Hooks. Hooks then called the employee a derogatory term and knocked candy all over the floor before going back outside to his semi truck. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 (edited) How to Protect Yourself from an Attacking Rooster 1. Distract him with snacks. A fabled rooster-defense tactic with proven effectiveness, ... 2. Equip yourself with a rooster shield. 3. Cuddle him into submission. Click on the link for the full article and more useful graphics Edited December 24, 2019 by China 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 Springfield of AHL to be known as Ice-O-Topes in honor of 'Simpsons' The Ice-O-Topes are headed to Springfield. The Florida Panthers' Massachusetts-based American Hockey League affiliate will become the Ice-O-Topes and wear spectacular uniforms for one week to celebrate the 30th anniversary of "The Simpsons." Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 On 12/26/2017 at 1:01 AM, China said: And for 2017... What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year? And the annual update: What Did We Get Stuck in Our Rectums Last Year? America continues to lead—and to innovate. We Americans as a people are extremely good at shoving things inside ourselves. We are slightly less good at getting them back out without the aid of trained medical personnel. For a decade I've been chronicling our country's cavity misadventures, and I've learned several things. First is that it's dangerous to be horny. (The sheer number of sex toys removed in emergency rooms is too high to include on this list, for the most part.) Second is that men are far, far stupider than women when it comes to estimating what will fit and what will be retrievable. This is obvious, but it's nice to have the data to back it up. Third is that the human body is a wondrous thing, but the human imagination is even stronger. All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, and all descriptions are verbatim. Objects are sorted by orifice, working south: EAR - 2 WIRELESS EARBUDS - JEWEL - “SISTER PUT LONG SLENDER TOY IN PATIENT'S EAR” - METAL PIECE OF SHIRT - ROCK SALT - BERRY - “PATIENT SAYS SHE HAD WAX IN EAR & ATTEMPTED TO REMOVE WITH TWEEZERS & PIECE OF STRING” - PAPER IN BOTH EARS - “PLACED THERMOMETER IN EAR, FELL ON BED” - JUICE BOX STRAW - PEARL - WOOD CHIP - MICROCHIP - DECORATIVE SEASHELL - TOOTH OF COMB - ZIP TIE - SLIME - PLASTIC SPIDER - CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT NOSE - 2 RARE EARTH MAGNETS - SMALL HEART STICKER - 2 BUTTON BATTERIES - BATH BEAD - CHALK - “BUG, TRIED TO REMOVE WITH BOBBY PIN, BOBBY PIN NOW STUCK” - CANDY WRAPPER - GOOGLY EYE - MOTHBALL - SUNFLOWER SEED - CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT THROAT - FIDGET SPINNER - CONDOM - “7 NUTS FROM THE CHRISTMAS TREE MOM AND DAD WERE TAKING DOWN” - LASER POINTER - TAPE DISPENSER - DECORATIVE ROCK - PIECE OF BED - TROPICAL BREEZE DETERGENT POD - “SWALLOWED 3 BUTTON BATTERIES LAST PM & THUMBTACK THIS AM B/C 'THEY TASTE GOOD'” - FUSE - CAPSULE THAT EXPANDS INTO A FOAM DINOSAUR - PLASTIC SWORD - “SWALLOWED STAMP INK PAD THAT HE RECEIVED AS A PRIZE AT THE DENTIST'S OFFICE” - CLEANING SOLUTION, RAZOR BLADE COVERED IN TOLIET PAPER, BROKEN PLASTIC SOAP DISH - STUFFED BIRD - “ABOUT 10” PUZZLE PIECES - “HAD NECKLACE IN MOUTH TRYING TO UNTANGLE IT & ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED IT” - GLASS CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHT - ICE CREAM CUP LID - DRILL BIT - HEARING AID - KEY - “SWALLOWED A THUMBTACK THAT SHE THOUGHT WAS A MINT” - CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT PENIS - CRAYONS - MARKER CAP - CHOPSTICK - BALLPOINT PEN - PIECE OF TOY PLIERS - LOLLIPOP STICK - COAXIAL CABLE - WEDDING RING - MAGNETS - SCREWDRIVER - BOBBY PIN, “UNABLE TO ACHIEVE ERECTION & THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP” VAGINA - TOOTHBRUSH - “A METAL AND PLASTIC CONTAINER” - TAPE - “WAS BEING ARRESTED BY THE POLICE SO SHE TOOK HER CELL PHONE AND HID IT FROM THEM - STUCK IT IN HER VAGINA” - PERFUME BOTTLE - MAKEUP SPONGE - LARGE PIECE OF UNDERWEAR - TOY ACTION FIGURE - RUBBER BALL - “JUMPED OFF COUCH LANDED ON SPOON” RECTUM - “PATIENT STATES HE STATES SLIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND LANDED ON A METAL AIR FRESHENER CAN AND IT WENT INTO RECTUM” - FOLDING KNIFE - PLASTIC TOY, “ABOUT 6 INCHES LONG” - TOOTHPICK - TOOTHBRUSH - TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER - PLUNGER HANDLE - MATTRESS FOAM - TWO RAZOR BLADES - TWO SMALL VIBRATORS - TURKEY BASTER - CONDOM WRAPPER - COAT HANGER, “PATIENT UNSURE HOW IT GOT THERE” - GARDEN HOSE CAP - CIGARETTE LIGHTER - TOY HOCKEY STICK - WATER GUN - BAG OF HEROIN - COINS - EGG TIMER - SMALL SHAMPOO BOTTLE - LARGE SHAMPOO BOTTLE - LIGHT BULB - APPLE SAUCE CAN - “ACCIDENTALLY GOT A DILDO LODGED IN RECTUM & CUT THE END OF THE DILDO OFF” - “STUCK A 4 INCH BUTT PLUG UP RECTUM YESTERDAY, HANDLE BROKE. HE CONTINUED TO PUSH THE TOY IN” - “WAS USING PROSTATE MASSAGER & IT GOT 'SUCKED IN'”' - CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Andrew Frey, Man 'High On Meth, Fights Off 15 Police Officers While Masturbating' A man who was allegedly high on meth reportedly fought off more than a dozen police officers while publicly masturbating. Andrew Frey, 37, apparently made a series of outbursts and then began masturbating in an Oregon restaurant, The Oregonian reports. Incredibly, police were reportedly unable to subdue Frey with a Taser. It took 15 officers to finally take him into custody and stop him pleasuring himself. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Man suffers three-day erection after taking bull viagra and ends up in hospital A man spent three days in hospital with an agonising erection after taking viagra designed for bulls. The man, who has not been identified, bought the stimulant in the Mexican state of Veracruz. He took it after arranging to meet a 30-year-old woman, and ended up requiring urgent surgery. A doctor who treated him said: “He was hospitalised in the Specialised Hospital 270 of the city of Reynosa. “He had taken a sexual stimulant which he had bought in Veracruz, used by farmers in that region to invigorate bulls for insemination.” Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 On 1/10/2020 at 5:56 PM, China said: Andrew Frey, Man 'High On Meth, Fights Off 15 Police Officers While Masturbating' A man who was allegedly high on meth reportedly fought off more than a dozen police officers while publicly masturbating. Andrew Frey, 37, apparently made a series of outbursts and then began masturbating in an Oregon restaurant, The Oregonian reports. Incredibly, police were reportedly unable to subdue Frey with a Taser. It took 15 officers to finally take him into custody and stop him pleasuring himself. Click on the link for the full article 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Report: Deaf man sues Pornhub over lack of closed captioning PHOENIX - A man is reportedly suing an adult video website for alleged rights violations because there is a lack of closed captioning on at least some videos. According to TMZ, Yaroslav Suris' lawsuit against Pornhub claims the lack of closed captioning violates the rights of deaf and hearing-impaired under the Americans with Disabilities Act. In court documents cited by TMZ, Suris claims the deaf and hearing impaired can't understand the audio portion of videos on the websites, and listed a number of videos that the man watched, but couldn't understand the dialogue. In the documents, Suris reportedly claims he and those in similar situations would pay money for a premium subscription, but calls it pointless without the subtitles. Suris, according to the TMZ report, is suing for Pornhub to add closed captioning, in addition to damages. Pornhub officials told TMZ the website does have a closed captions category, and says the company generally does not comment on active lawsuits. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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