China Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 Men Are Sharing the Dumbest Ways They've Injured Their Balls Every man has a painful memory somewhere in the back of his mind of that time he bashed one of his balls while trying to climb over a fence or intercepting a low-thrown ball. But that's nothing. In a thread on Reddit, guys have been sharing the truly stupid ways in which it is possible to terrorize your testes. Perhaps unsurprisingly, a number of comments recalled times that guys had sat on one or both of their balls while trying to mount their bikes, or as a result underwear that was far too loose-fitting. And then there was the one poor soul who sat on his balls "a few hours after getting my vasectomy." Feelin_Dead recalled not one, but two auto-related incidents: "I once had a truck without power steering. Quickly cranking the wheel my hand slipped and smacked myself right in the twins. Lost control of truck and ended up driving up and damaging a nicely landscaped embankment. Or.... I was putting on a belt with a large belt buckle. I was in a hurry so I got through the first belt loop and gave it a mighty yank and the buckle came up and busted my berries. Men, slow down and save your balls." Other testicular catastrophes happened in the kitchen. "Cutting jalapenos for a corn salsa," said Zmayy. "Touched the boys afterwards. Immediately they started feeling warm and the pain slowly started increasing. First I tried washing them with water, then I tried showering and shampooing them. Finally in a move of desperation I filled up a cereal bowl of milk and dipped my balls in it -- instant relief. I waddled back up to my room, leaving a trail of milk behind me." Click on the link for more 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 11 hours ago, China said: Other testicular catastrophes happened in the kitchen. "Cutting jalapenos for a corn salsa," said Zmayy. "Touched the boys afterwards. Immediately they started feeling warm and the pain slowly started increasing. First I tried washing them with water, then I tried showering and shampooing them. Finally in a move of desperation I filled up a cereal bowl of milk and dipped my balls in it -- instant relief. I waddled back up to my room, leaving a trail of milk behind me." Been there, but with much hotter peppers. It was an unpleasant few hours. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Hospital denies snake was in operating room — it was only a monkey A Caribbean hospital caught with a runaway primate in the operating room isn’t monkeying around with the press. Now, hospital officials are speaking out against false claims on social media that a snake, too, was found in their facility. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 On 5/21/2020 at 10:15 PM, China said: Cutting jalapenos for a corn salsa," said Zmayy. "Touched the boys afterwards. Same, but applying Tiger Balm to my shoulder, then touching the boys without a thorough hand washing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Man acquitted of entering a home with a weapon after successful sex fantasy defence Two men hired to carry out a stranger’s sexual fantasy of being tied up while clad in his underpants went to the wrong rural NSW address with machetes, but politely left after realising their mistake. One of the Sydney men, Terrence Leroy, has now been found not guilty in the NSW district court of entering the home in July 2019 intending to intimidate while armed with an offensive weapon. Describing the facts of the case as unusual, judge Sean Grant said the crown had not excluded the reasonable possibility that Leroy entered the house as part of a lawful plan to carry out a sexual fantasy. “They carried the machetes either as a prop or something to use in that fantasy,” the judge said in his published reasons for the acquittal earlier this month. “The fantasy was unscripted and there was discretion as to how it would be carried out.” According to statements tendered at the brief judge-alone trial, a man living in western NSW near Griffith wanted to be tied up and have a broom handle rubbed around his underwear. “He was willing to pay $5,000 if it was ‘really good’,” the judge said. The would-be client had a “history and proclivity for engaging the services of people”, a police officer said. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 Q&A: The Women Who Write Dinosaur Erotica Alara Branwen and Christie Sims met in the dorms at Texas A&M. Alara worked at a supermarket and Christie worked as a tutor — until they discovered how lucrative erotic fiction about women having sex with dinosaurs could be. After e-book titles like Taken By the T-Rex and Ravished by the Triceratops drew attention from Jezebel, E!, and the Daily Mail, we e-mailed the duo to ask how they’re holding up, and how two Texan girls in their early twenties got into dinosaur porn. To truly answer this question, I’ll have to go all the way back to when I first started writing erotica, a little more than a year ago. I was complaining to a co-worker one day about how I was having trouble making ends meet with my crappy job and my bills from college. (I had a day job at a supermarket alongside going to school. Christie worked as a tutor and went to school.) My friend told me about an article that detailed the self-publishing boom that was going on and about how E.L. James had made a fortune self-publishing her erotica. Thinking that I could write my own erotica, I went home that night and learned about all the self-publishing platforms that were available at that time. Once I started making more money writing erotica than I did at my job (that only took one month), I quit to start writing full-time and going to school part-time. I did some research and found that a subgenre called “monster erotica” was starting to get popular. So I decided to write stories that contained monsters that were staples, or at least what I thought were staples, of the genre: shifters (werewolf), tentacle monsters (it was only later I found out shifters weren’t considered “monsters”). Click on the link for the full article 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 Man, 30, has a whole fish stuck in his rectum after 'sitting on it by accident' A 30-year-old man in China has had a whole fish removed from his rectum after he had allegedly sat on it by accident. Gruesome footage shows medics removing the dead blue tilapia from the patient's body at a hospital. Reports from local media did not specify the fish's size but the species usually measures 30-40 centimetres (12-16 inches) long. Click on the link for the full article and video of the fish removal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 A man put a cell phone charger up his penis -- it got stuck in his bladder and had to be removed by surgeons An Indian man who went to hospital with abdominal pain had inserted a mobile phone charger cable into his penis, a doctor who treated him told CNN on Monday. The man visited a hospital in northeastern India last month, claiming he had ingested some earphones, said Dr. Walliul Islam, a general surgeon at the hospital. But when the cord didn't appear despite the patient being prescribed laxatives, doctors resorted to surgery. "He came to us after five days, (and) despite passing stool several times the cable did not come out. We then conducted an endoscopy but still couldn't find anything. As the patient complained of severe pain, we decided to perform surgery and found that there was nothing in his intestine," Islam told CNN. It was at that point that an x-ray revealed the man to have a two-foot-long charging cable in his bladder -- inserted via his urethra, the tube that leads from the penis to the bladder. "Then I made an incision there and took out the cord, which was actually a charging cable over 2 feet long," Islam said. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 Cops: Birthday Threesome Had Unhappy Ending A birthday weekend threesome came to an abrupt end Friday when the 19-year-old celebrant pulled a male acquaintance “off the other woman by his genitals and threw him to the floor” of a La Quinta Inn room, according to South Carolina police. Responding to a 911 hangup call from the hotel, cops spoke with the birthday girl, who said that she had invited a 19-year-old male friend to spend the weekend with her in Myrtle Beach. The woman, named Mary Jane, told police that her friend Jahiem had arrived in Myrtle Beach before her and “had been spending time with another woman before she got there.” And, a police incident report notes, “that’s what started the whole argument.” “During the course of the relations,” Jahiem said, Mary Jane pulled him “off the other woman by his genitals and threw him to the floor.” During a physical confrontation that followed, Jahiem said he kicked Mary Jane, “causing her to fall.” Mary Jane reported suffering injuries to her “forehead, pinky finger, and pinky toe” during the scrum. The report does not address whether Jahiem was injured by the genital yanking. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Welcome to 'Exploding Whale Memorial Park' on the Oregon coast! FLORENCE, Ore. – Welcome to the newest park on the Oregon coast – Exploding Whale Memorial Park! The new park is named after the state's decision to blow up a 45-foot, 8-ton whale that washed ashore near Florence in November of 1970. Nearly 50 years later, the town asked for name suggestions for its new park along Rhododendron Drive. They asked the public for name suggestions and held a public vote, and the people have spoken. Welcome to Exploding Whale Memorial Park! Click on the link for more 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 Chinese man has his colon torn apart by a 16-inch live eel after sticking it into his rear to 'treat his constipation' A Chinese man nearly died after allegedly inserting a wiggling 16-inch eel into his backside to treat his constipation. The live fish tore through the man's intestines before dying and getting stuck in his abdomen for a week, doctors said. The unnamed patient, said to be in his 50s, claimed he decided to use the creature to solve his bowel problems after following a folk remedy. Click on the link for the full article Those are the Shrieking Eels, they always shriek louder when they're about to feast on human flesh... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 X-rated book ‘Penguins’ by Nick Thornton mistaken for children’s story A Sydney mum has made an embarrassing mistake when she bought her penguin-obsessed son a book about his favourite animal, not realising it wasn’t a kid’s book at all. With a cute-looking black and white front cover depicting penguins, her mistake appears an easy one to make. It was actually a raunchy book about exploding penises. But when it finally arrived in the post two days ago, on June 17, she found something a little different to what she was expecting. “Instead of cute, comic, penguins, as I flicked through the increasingly odd (but cool!) drawings, there, between the pages, I found an exploding phallus,” the shocked mother wrote. “An. Exploding. Phallus.” Click on the link for the full story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 On 6/8/2020 at 2:40 PM, China said: Man, 30, has a whole fish stuck in his rectum after 'sitting on it by accident' A 30-year-old man in China has had a whole fish removed from his rectum after he had allegedly sat on it by accident. Gruesome footage shows medics removing the dead blue tilapia from the patient's body at a hospital. Reports from local media did not specify the fish's size but the species usually measures 30-40 centimetres (12-16 inches) long. Click on the link for the full article and video of the fish removal No way. He shoved that up his ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 5 hours ago, Mr. Sinister said: No way. He shoved that up his ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Japan awards first-ever ninja studies degree A Japanese university has awarded the first-ever degree in ninja studies. Masters student Genichi Mitsuhashi, 45, spent two years examining historical documents on the true nature of the stealth fighters while perfecting his martial arts skills. He also bought a wooden two-storey house in Iga province, the birthplace of the ninja, and cultivated rice and vegetables on the land. “I read that ninjas worked as farmers in the morning and trained in martial arts in the afternoon,” he told AFP. “With this combination, I thought I could learn about the real ninja.” Click on the link for more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 Humans forced to hide from sex addicted monkeys who set up HQ in disused cinema Sex-crazed monkeys have forced humans to cower indoors after taking over an ancient city while fuelled by junk food. The incredible sequence of events has seen an estimated 6,000 macaques run riot through the Thai city of Lopburi. The randy primates have set up a HQ in a disused cinema, lashing out at anyone brave enough to try and drive them away. Unfortunately some residents first thought the best way of calming the overzealous monkeys down was to give them fast food - but this has just made the situation worse. Their new sugary diet and the lack of tourists because of the Covid-19 crisis has conspired to make life miserable for the people of Lopburi. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 29, 2020 Share Posted June 29, 2020 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 Couple say there's a ghost swearing at people at Somerset beauty spot Ghostbusters have been called in over reports an angry ghoul is swearing at tourists at a beauty spot. The potty-mouthed spook is said to be a 'woman in white' who apparently tells people - to 'f*** off'. Locals say the rude apparition haunts an area known as Dead Woman's Ditch. The site on the Quantock Hills in Somerset was named after the murder of Jane Walford by her husband John in 1789. But now a foul-mouthed phantom is apparently lurking the area - with reports of a swearing apparition. Ghosthunting couple Christine and Dave Thomas are now investigating. Christine claims she was shouted at and told to 'f*** off' by the ''nasty, evil spirits''. She says she and her husband Dave picked up on a voice before being rudely told to leave. They pair claim to have had other encounters there - with the ghost of a murderer from 1798. Dave said: "There is definitely something there. My wife has experienced it for a long time. Click on the link for more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Man bites seagull after it tried to steal his McDonald's food: report A McDonald’s customer was arrested after he allegedly bit a seagull after it tried to steal his meal. The suspect reportedly attacked the bird in front of the authorities. Officers from a local unit were on patrol when they witnessed the incident in the city of Plymouth, England, Cornwall Live reports. The man reportedly claimed that the bird was trying to steal his McDonald’s, so he grabbed it and bit it. Click on the link for the full article 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Body found by railroad tracks turns out to be sex doll Liberty County officials believe they were set up on Tuesday when what they thought was a dead body turned out to be a sex doll. Around 2 p.m. in Allenhurst, not far from Dunlevie Road, Liberty County Sheriff’s Office Detective Mike Albritton said officers found the object laying on the side of railroad tracks. By policy, law enforcement officers do not touch a deceased person until the coroner arrives, so they placed a sheet over the suspected body and waited. When the coroner arrived, detectives began to check for injuries and immediately discovered the body was a female sex doll. The doll was anatomically correct, with realistic skin and features, and was fully dressed, authorities say. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 RI Issues Tax Refunds Signed by ‘Walt Disney,' ‘Mickey Mouse' Rhode Island mistakenly sent more than 175 tax refund checks signed by "Walt Disney" and "Mickey Mouse," rather than the state treasurer and controller. The Rhode Island Division of Taxation uses the signatures on test files, which were mistakenly printed on the real checks and sent out on Monday, a spokesperson told WPRI-TV. Mickey Mouse is the cartoon character that was animator and producer Walt Disney's first big hit. Click on the link for the full article 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 I like how they felt the need to explain who Mickey Mouse is. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 South Korean YouTuber sets private parts on fire during gaming livestream, gets 2nd-degree burns A South Korean YouTuber shocked fans—and even impressed some—as he fulfilled his end of quite a dangerous deal that resulted in his getting second-degree burns. Shin Tae Il, also known as the infamous “angry Korean gamer,” set his crotch area on fire as a penalty for losing a “Fall Guys” game following suggestions of his viewers, as per US-based Korean pop blog Allkpop earlier today, Aug. 8. The deal was for him to set his private parts on fire for five seconds if he did not come in first place for a particular round—so he did. Click on the link for the full article and video 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted August 15, 2020 Share Posted August 15, 2020 BART tweets information on airflow, farts and ... more Bay Area Rapid Transit took to Twitter on Thursday to educate riders on airflow in their cars amid concerns about COVID-19 spread, but the conversation soon turned scatological. BART has been hit hard by the pandemic. Ridership for Monday, July 27 was 43,318, representing an 89% drop compared to their budget projections. While this is largely due to residents working from home and not requiring a daily commute into the city, there are also concerns about viral spread in the car, leading to people often choosing to travel around the Bay instead in their own vehicles. To address these fears, BART tweeted out schematic diagram of a car and its filtration systems on Thursday, claiming that "air is filtered more effectively than in an office or grocery store" in a rapid transit car, and that pilot tests on improved filtration systems have begun. But what residents really wanted to know about was a little more purile. "All we really want to know is how long will it take for the new system to filter a fart out of the car." Twitter user Mike Spinney asked, and BART were happy to address the question, and more. "About 70 seconds, maybe longer if you laid a real monster of a fart or sharted yourself," the agency replied. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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