Do You Like Getting "The Wave" For Driving Decisions Made By Someone Else?

[Hubbs]

So I was driving home yesterday, and I happened to be on a single-lane road with parking on the right side. The guy in front of me - we'll call him Mr. Douchebag - notices that an elderly woman is about to get into her parked car, and decides that he wants to park in the vacated spot. So he stops. Grandma proceeds to take roughly three and a half minutes to get in her car, start her car, adjust what she wants to adjust, move forward and backward 87 times to parallel un-park, and drive away. Mr. Douchebag just sits there the entire time, holding up everyone behind him. When he finally pulls into the space, he gives me "the wave," as if to thank me for generously granting him the time to park when I didn't have any say in the matter.

Personally, I would have rather seen him wave with only one finger, because that would at least be an honest reflection of the situation. Yes, "the wave" is standard procedure, and anyone who does something like what I just described should give it out of courtesy. But the question is, do you actually appreciate it when you're on the receiving end and no part of the decision was up to you?

[BRAVEONAWARPATH]

Actually, I do appreciate it. Its common courtesy.

[Bubble Screen]

You should have let him know he was being an ass.

[Hubbs]

You should have let him know he was being an ass.

I did. So did other people. He didn't budge.

[Capt. Kaos]

I don't see anything wrong with the scenario you described. The gentleman held you up and acknowledged that he knew he did by offering a wave as a thank you for being patient.

What's the problem?

[Captain Wiggles]

Next time give him one of these:

The “A-OK”

Mainly used by scuba divers to mean “OK” (to prevent ambiguity with the thumbs-up sign, which means “ascend”), this hand gesture is generally called ‘A-OK’, and in America and the UK is often used to tell somebody that they’ve made a great meal, as talking with your mouth would just be impolite. Essentially the meaning comes out as “great”, or “absolutely fine”.

Not so, however, in a few countries in Europe, where the numerical interpretation gives the signal an insulting overtone – essentially you’re telling them that you think they’re a ‘zero’.

Far worse, however, is the meaning in Brazil, Germany and a few Mediterranean countries: the circular shape of the gesture gives it the meaning of “anus”, and is therefore used to call somebody an “*******”, or, by extension, a homosexual. You probably wouldn’t learn that in most of the German courses London has to offer.

[Stew]

You should have rammed your car full throttle into the back of his... then honked twice and put your blinker on as you left the scene of the accident giving the A-OK sign.

[Hubbs]

I don't see anything wrong with the scenario you described. The gentleman held you up and acknowledged that he knew he did by offering a wave as a thank you for being patient.

What's the problem?

I don't want to be "thanked" for a decision I didn't make. If you're gonna be an ass, then be an ass.

In other words, if I punched you in the face, then said, "Thank you for letting me punch you in the face" as I walked away, would you find that more than a little condescending?

[Spaceman Spiff]

I don't see a big deal with it...yeah, it must have sucked to have sat there for all that while but we've all been in a situation where parking is a ***** and you gotta pounce on a spot. There's nothing wrong with someone acknowledging that they took up some time....at least they're aware of their surroundings.

What I REALLY hate is when you let someone in or let someone cross in front of you and they DON'T wave. THAT is being an ******* and that pisses me off.

[Jumbo]

I might allow the wave as a sign of "yes, I know I ended up inconveniencing you, and it may have been a bit douchey, and I am just acknowledging that and am grateful you didn't take that sap out from under your seat and bust out one of my windows."

So that's considering a reasonable alternative possibility for the gesture that has a more tolerable frame than "it's some damn phony thanks for a giving of permission that never even happened." :mad:

Remember when drawing conclusions based on assumptions about someone's thinking (when you really don't know what that thinking was exactly for a fact) it's always a good exercise to imagine alternative (but equally plausible) explanations if the first one you seize upon creates a disturbance within you. You get to choose your thinking and discomfort. Such choices, made entirely by you, are very significant in affecting how you emotionally react.

[Hubbs]

What I REALLY hate is when you let someone in or let someone cross in front of you and they DON'T wave. THAT is being an ******* and that pisses me off.

That sucks too, for the opposite reason. You are the one making the decision and the other guy doesn't acknowledge that.

[Hubbs]

I might allow the wave as a sign of "yes, I know I ended up inconveniencing you, and it may have been a bit douchey, and I am just acknowledging that and am grateful you didn't take that sap out from under your seat and bust out one of my windows."

So that's considering a reasonable alternative possibility for the gesture that has a more tolerable frame than "it's some damn phony thanks for a giving of permission that never even happened." :mad:

Remember when drawing conclusions based on assumptions about someone's thinking (when you really don't know what that thinking was exactly for a fact) it's always a good exercise to imagine alternative (but equally plausible) explanations if the first one you seize upon creates a disturbance within you. You get to choose your thinking and discomfort. Such choices, made entirely by you, are very significant in affecting how you emotionally react.

Oh, I know. I'm sure the wave was made with the best of intentions. I'm just saying that, even given those intentions, it still tweaks me.

[PCS]

Actually, I do appreciate it. Its common courtesy.

Agreed. In this case it was as Capt. Kaos describe imho. Obviously we've all been in that situation,(more than a few times I would say),and while at times frustrating,it's not really that big of a deal. Someone is always going to wait for "that spot". That person or someone behind you for one reason or another,(at which time those caught behind that person become those you laugh at because they got stuck and you didn't). Basically BFD.

[DButz65]

Wow , I thought this was going to be about the middle finger, looks like I was wrong and some people get their panties in a bunch over others being courteous?

You really need to get your priorities in order, young man Of course you didnt have any say in the matter, you were behind the wheel of a car, you cant MAKE people do things while driving that you want them to do.

[Hubbs]

Wow , I thought this was going to be about the middle finger, looks like I was wrong and some people get their panties in a bunch over others being courteous?

You really need to get your priorities in order, young man

This isn't a high priority. At the end of the day, like PCS said, BFD. I just thought it would be an interesting discussion, mostly because there was a Seinfeld episode about the wave.

[polywog999]

Hmmmm.... according to most driving laws you are supposed to 'take' your right of way to avoid accidents. He should not have tied up traffic to let someone over. That being said, neither are you supposed to exceed the speed limit, tailgate or flash your high-beams.

Really though, this was for an old lady! I would hope that people look out for my mom like that....

As for the wave, he was being polite. It might have been a a situation where once he decided to let her out, he was committed to waiting. She might have taken more time than reasonable.

So how did you voice your unhappiness? Blowing your horn? I hope you don't do that kind of thing too much....you'll live a lot longer.

I mean that as good advice. Folks get killed for that sometimes.

[Redskins Diehard]

I appreciate when other people acknowledge that there is a world that exists outside their own car. So I appreciate it when people acknowledge me letting them in traffic, and I appreciate it when other people let me in. In this scenario I would appreciate the guy waving in a "sorry to inconvenience you" kind of way. Driving seems like a competitive event to so many people around here. As if letting someone merge in is "losing" or merging where you are supposed to is "giving in".

[Hubbs]

Hmmmm.... according to most driving laws you are supposed to 'take' your right of way to avoid accidents. He should not have tied up traffic to let someone over. That being said, neither are you supposed to exceed the speed limit, tailgate or flash your high-beams.

Really though, this was for an old lady! I would hope that people look out for my mom like that....

As for the wave, he was being polite. It might have been a a situation where once he decided to let her out, he was committed to waiting. She might have taken more time than reasonable.

So how did you voice your unhappiness? Blowing your horn? I hope you don't do that kind of thing too much....you'll live a lot longer.

I mean that as good advice. Folks get killed for that sometimes.

Huh? He wasn't "looking out for" her at all. He wanted the spot.

[polywog999]

Please don't get the impression that I always do the right thing.... especially when I was younger (ouch) just trying to lookout for a great fellow Skins fan!

Edit: I went back and reread the story. My bad! LOL every once in a while I goof, and I goofed! Sorry about that.

He should not have held you up. That is illegal.

That adds a different slant to the whole equation...you should never give the wave when you are being rude; whats the bloody point?!?

As for letting it bother you....I would just forget it. Jumbo is right. Think of it like, he was very, very late for an appointment or something.

[Bang]

Sitting there for nearly five minutes would have been a drag, but I'd say that is more the fault of the old lady that took forever to leave a spot.

I wouldn't have a problem with the wave.

~Bang

[DCsportsfan53]

He has a right to park there, it's not his fault the old lady took so long. Maybe the douchebaggery was not having the patience to allow the situation to unfold as opposed to him for taking the parking spot?

[polywog999]

He has a right to park there, it's not his fault the old lady took so long. Maybe the douchebaggery was not having the patience to allow the situation to unfold as opposed to him for taking the parking spot?

I believe this to be incorrect. You cannot imped the flow of traffic....even for a good parking spot.

[DCsportsfan53]

I believe this to be incorrect. You cannot imped the flow of traffic....even for a good parking spot.

I might need to brush up on my traffic laws, then. I thought it was ok to wait with signal on for someone to vacate a parking spot. I've been wrong once before, it's possible

[polywog999]

I might need to brush up on my traffic laws, then. I thought it was ok to wait with signal on for someone to vacate a parking spot. I've been wrong once before, it's possible

In single lane traffic? Maybe in a parking lot?

Are you a cop? You have cop eyes.... LOL!

Truth is....you could be right also.

[Fan since a Fetus]

I think it depends on the situation. Was it a place where parking spots are common, or was that the only spot around? If it was the only spot around, then you were the douchebag for being impatient. If there were other spots and he just wanted a close one for his convenience, then he was the douchebag.

This is something that angers me in shopping center parking lots. You have to wait for what seems like forever for someone to take a spot when there is an open one 5 spaces down.