Is it a good idea for kids to have cell phones?

[blue collar]

I talked about having sex in 7th grade, did it happen, not a chance. Talk is cheap.

It's not just sex.

[blue collar]

Sure...I'm not disagreeing with you (check my posts, I think I fall more in line with your opinion on this than the other way around). I'm just saying that it's a little inconsistent to ask people for opinions and then tell them they are wrong. That guy might think that reading your son's texts is an act of paranoia...I don't agree with that, but that doesn't mean he's wrong and I'm right.

Ok, I'll go along with that.

[MattFancy]

It's not just sex.

Then maybe the problem is more than a cell phone? All kids like to push the limits to see how far they can go, its part of being a kid.

[hockeysc23]

It's not just sex.

Well you need to have a talk with your child then. It seems there is a problem there and the problem is not cell phones.

The conversation will occur via any different type of medium: facebook, IM chat, over the phone, text, person to person snail mail etc.

Have you talked with your child about the texts? What is the explanation?

The medium isn't causing a good child to do bad things.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

Ok, I'll go along with that.

Very nice!

Now, onto the idea I had a couple pages ago. Would you ever consider having him "turn his phone in" to you at a certain time each night to control his access to the outside world?

It's really no different than when I was in high school and couldn't use the phone after a certain time.

[blue collar]

Well you need to have a talk with your child then. It seems there is a problem there and the problem is not cell phones.

The conversation will occur via any different type of medium: facebook, IM chat, over the phone, text, person to person snail mail etc.

Have you talked with your child about the texts? What is the explanation?

The medium isn't causing a good child to do bad things.

I'll answer that when I get back from work.

[Tweedr01]

I think it's probably helpful to get the perspective of everyone who wants to contribute. I don't think only parents have the right to have an opinion on this matter.

I agree that everyone should be able to chime in as we had a 22 y/o who actually added to the thread, which is the exact opposite of the 23 y/o who just seemed to want to antagonize and attack without really adding anything but a sarcastic response. Maybe his opinion would have been looked at better had he presented it in a fashion that didn't reek of immaturity.

[GibbsFactor]

When my son can pay his bill, he can have his cell phone. That's the rule.

He's got an iPod touch. He's snuck on facebook on more then one occasion. He's 11. Found open IMs that were not appropriate.

The sad thing is that he's one of the few his age without a phone so he fills ridiculed. Too bad.

[Skin'Em84]

Kids are going to talk about these things with or without a cell phone, i know I did. I started drinking at 14, and we'd talk about sneaking in places, parties at friend's houses, etc... at school without texting. Txt's would've made it easier, but we still did it regardless.

Also, after a certain time (16ish) my parents and I had a talk, and came to an understanding that as long as I didn't come home with the cops, drove/walked home drunk, did illegal drugs, or became a dad, that some things would be ignored.

I think its more of you need to have a talk with your kid, and maybe temporarily remove the celly. Now, I don't have a teen, nor know yours, so I could be wrong.

[Redd]

But you're not like a lot of other kids. Most kids hide a lot of stuff from their parents. When you read through your kids text and you read a lot of "Does her mom work tomorrow" or "S**y can be the lookout", that raises some flags.

It's nice you watch your kids but those txt messages you talk about are just incriminating hard evidence. Don't you remember what you use to talk about when parents weren't around but only really got in trouble when someone overheard us or things like that. I know I did and I'm sure my kids at one point or another will to. You're doing the right thing though by being a Parent though. I think it's a GOOD THING you know what your kids are up to and what they are talking about just don't think they don't talk about stuff you don't want them to do to their friends without the cell phone.

[Special K]

When my husband and I have kids, we'll see what their schedule is like. I'm a major worry-wart and will probably stress out if I know my kid is at practice or at a friend's place or something and if some crazy emergency happens, they won't have a way to get ahold of me or my husband. So, I'll probably have an extra cell phone that I give them when they are at sports practices or away from me or my husband with the instructions that they can only use it in emergencies to reach us or a babysitter or other adult or something. I'm sure this will be done much more so for my own sanity. That being said, I'll retrieve the phone as soon as they come home for the evening.

When they get into high school, I'm sure I'll allow them to have a phone, but it will be on a very strict, supervised basis if s/he forces me to do so. I'm hoping I can raise my kids to the point that I can trust them not to send naked photos of themselves to friends and other completely uncalled for crap. I honestly don't know what the hell so many of the kids are thinking these days :doh: So I'd first like to take the approach with my kid similar to what my parents did with me and my siblings which was basically "hey, we raised you with values and to be responsible. We are proud of you and know you work hard so we are granting you "blank" privilege because we trust you will make the right decisions and use this responsibly...blah, blah, blah." I don't know, that approach seemed to work for us kids and I find that building someone up and presenting something in a positive light and as a reward (but ensuring that they know that you are the one who ultimately giveth and taketh so they better behave themselves) works better then coming right out of that gate and saying "Well, since you're so and so age and a lot of other kids out there are complete morons we are going to automatically assume you've disregarded everything we've taught you, assume you were raised in a barn, are immature, and are unable to handle this responsibility so we are going to dictate your every move" or something to that effect. Unless my kid gives me reason not to trust they won't do something completely stupid, I'll likely allow them to have a phone, possibly in junior high, very likely, in high school.

Part of the agreement for my daughter to get a cell phone was that at any given time we can ask for her cell phone and go through her texts. She is also not allowed to delete any texts without asking first AND her texts go to this "special website" that allows me to see every incoming and outgoing text to/from her phone.

That sounds like a good plan, how did you set up this special website? What company do you use? I think that's a great tool for parents.

[Spartacus87]

I can agree with that, but I'm still not paranoid. I'll repeat, when you read text like "is her mom working tomorrow" and "so and so can be the lookout", that raises a few flags.

Honestly, it sounds like there's more going on there than anything to do specifically with a cell phone.

If a kid has possibly sketchy plans, he's going to find a way to discuss them, or try to make them happen, with or without a cell phone and texting.

You're also taking a curiously strong, purely negative view at texting in general. A lot of people just use text messages because it's quicker than actually talking on the phone, especially if you can't reach someone at a certain time. It's just leaving a convenient little written note for them. Plus you can talk to multiple people at once with texts, and turn a conversation between several people into a group discussion via text rather than phone tag. It's not just about kids trying to keep their parents in the dark about their activities.

Now maybe that doesn't apply to your son and his friends in this case. But that's a larger issue than what texting brings to the table, as your original post starts to get into.

As for general phone usage for kids, I think letting kids get a phone once they get to high school is a good idea. Especially once they start driving on their own, or getting rides from their friends who can drive. A pay-as-you-go phone can easily work for this purpose, and any other restrictions as the parent wishes, but to me, it's just easier for the parents if the kid had some kind of mobile communication of their own in case of scheduling changes, a car accident, an emergency, etc.

[Corcaigh]

That sounds like a good plan, how did you set up this special website? What company do you use? I think that's a great tool for parents.

I think he was joking, hence the smiley, but there are services that offer this. A program is downloaded to the phone and this communicates with the website without the users knowledge.

[RichmondRedskin88]

I got my first cell early HS. I used it only for talking with old friends(and new friends) when I moved to Richmond halfway through HS. I bought free texting since everyone I knew kept texting me all the time and I would have to spend 10 cents to respond. I dont know though I see kids like 5 and 6 at my work walking around texting people and stuff. Does a 5 yr old really need to text about how recess was? Or wasn't that a great nap today before lunch? I understand having something to keep them in contact with their parents but kids don't need the same features on their phone as a college student or older person.

Also cell phones allow things like sexting(terrible pun I might add). I'm pretty sure that had been around awhile though. They just coined the term now though

[Sticksboi05]

I got my first cell early HS. I used it only for talking with old friends(and new friends) when I moved to Richmond halfway through HS. I bought free texting since everyone I knew kept texting me all the time and I would have to spend 10 cents to respond. I dont know though I see kids like 5 and 6 at my work walking around texting people and stuff. Does a 5 yr old really need to text about how recess was? Or wasn't that a great nap today before lunch? I understand having something to keep them in contact with their parents but kids don't need the same features on their phone as a college student or older person.

Though cell phones allow things like sexting(terrible pun I might add_

5 and 6 really? When I was 6 all I cared about was cartoons, playing outside and my Magic School Bus games. Kids that age don't need a phone period. Different generation man.

[Spartacus87]

5 and 6 really? When I was 6 all I cared about was cartoons, playing outside and my Magic School Bus games. Kids that age don't need a phone period. Different generation man.

Yeah, that's definitely way too early. #1, I'd probably have lost my phone a million times at age 6 or 7. And #2, I don't have any clue who I would text or why. I'd probably be bored with texting and just prefer a video game of some kind.

[stevenaa]

Mine is 13, and he has one. I control it, he gets it when he needs it. He has full access to the home phone to talk to his friends for as long as he wants. Texting and whatnot.. I give hm about 30-40 minutes a day to goof around on his facebook page and get all his kid stuff in.

I like him having the phone when he's out. If I need him it beats standing on the porch and hollering across the neighborhood like my mom would do.

Plus, like last week, he and his class went to Hershey Park. he called me twice to talk about cool coasters, which is alright, and then on the way back there was an issue with one of the buses and they came in more than an hour late. He called me and gave me updates on what was up and saved me a hell of a lot of worry, not to metion a long wait at the school expecting the bus at any minute.

the benefits far outweigh the negatives in my opinion.

~Bang

Precisley. My 11 and 12 year olds have them. They are out and about now enough that the ease of contact is great. Just another tool.

[RedskinsFan318]

I volunteered at a local elementary school this past year and it seemed like every single fourth grade kid had a cell phone. I'm not just talking about a cheap little prepaid phone for emergencies, either. One kid insisted on showing me her blackberry. :doh:

[Sticksboi05]

I volunteered at a local elementary school this past year and it seemed like every single fourth grade kid had a cell phone. I'm not just talking about a cheap little prepaid phone for emergencies, either. One kid insisted on showing me her blackberry. :doh:

Like I said man, different generation. And you wonder why today's kids have such obesity issues. They all grow up with 8,000 things to do in the palm of their hand as opposed to say, what they'd call a crappy Gameboy and then finally Gameboy Color.

OP - good luck figuring this out. Best bet, sit and talk with your son. Communication is key.

[chipwhich]

When they get into high school, I'm sure I'll allow them to have a phone, but it will be on a very strict, supervised basis if s/he forces me to do so.

Sounds like a nice idea in theory.

In practice, well it's another story.

Where I live I would say almost EVERY kid has a cell phone in middle school. It's the norm, not the exception.

Have fun battling your child daily for the why's they can't have one.

Regardless of your decision, at the end of the day it's a matter of trusting your kids. You can put a GPS on the car, attempt to read the texts, attempt to enforce your rules. But if your child chooses to do something against your rules, you really can't stop it. You were in high school once right? Your kid will outsmart you. Don't think otherwise. Of course, they will get caught. But you can't micromanage them.

Cell phone or not, it's about raising your kids the right way. If you do, they wont be sexting their boyfriends. If you don't raise them right, they will. A cell phone wont prohibit or inhibit your child's activities. A proper raising giving the society they live in is what matters. The small battles don't matter as much as the larger picture.

I always love the parent's who "think"....wow I have beaten the system. Uh no you didn't. You beat the system by instilling values.

[RichmondRedskin88]

Like I said man, different generation. And you wonder why today's kids have such obesity issues. They all grow up with 8,000 things to do in the palm of their hand as opposed to say, what they'd call a crappy Gameboy and then finally Gameboy Color.

OP - good luck figuring this out. Best bet, sit and talk with your son. Communication is key.

Remember that teen girl who sent like 5000 messages in one hour consisently? The bill was suppose to be aboslutely insane. Her parents just said,"well atleast we know shes not doing anything bad." Of course she isn't. Shes not doing anything else!!! So she must be like failing school and sit around just texting all the time. Apparently she wore her phone out( and some how filled it with messages so much that it failed lol) in a few weeks and had to get another. I've heard of trading in a phone to get another or whatever but since when did phone wear their keys out? Especially that quickly.

[Sticksboi05]

If my daughter did that I'd take that phone and smash it in front of her face. Then I'd probably force her to go talk to people in person.

[No_Pressure]

I'm 22, I grew up in the beginning of this cell phone age, and when I have kids I'm not going to let them have cell phones. Cell phones are not necessary at all. For anything. Sure it makes things more convenient with timing of things. There were a few times I had to borrow a friend's cell phone or use a pay phone as football practice ended earlier than expected after school and I needed my mom to pick me up sooner.

My parents and I always took the 4 seconds to discuss that they would meet me at a certain place at a certain time before parting ways, whether that was being at a public place like a theme park or zoo where we were splitting up to go on different rides or see different animals, or planning a pick up from something. Cell phones cost a lot of money for children and they only seem to replace "when do you need me to pick you up today?" "5:00". Or "Lets meet back here around 3:30". I know people my age who are incapable of planning anything out with others in advance, they rely on their cell phones to convey information.

The worst thing is phones like the iPhone. I hate the iPhone because while I understand the usefulness of many of the features I feel that having the device itself tends to weaken relationships. My dad of all people has an iPhone he uses mainly because of his work. We used to go out to restaurants and talk to each other. When he got the iPhone he started sitting at the table and fiddling with ****- checking his stocks on yahoo, reading news stories, checking his email. I told him I'm not going to go out to lunch with him anymore if he brings his phone with him because he's so engrossed with his phone that he ignores everybody else around him. I have noticed similar problems with friends and other relatives of mine who have such phones.

I don't want my kids to have cell phones. There isn't any reason for a kid to have one. They'll probably hate my guts and think I'm the biggest ******* in the world when every other parent out there buys their kid a cell phone and they don't have one but I guess they'll have to *gasp* make do as all human beings have with a lack of cellular phones for thousands of years. Oh the horror!

If I were to consider any phone it would be one that can strictly call and only call a preset group of numbers which I can program and lock so they only have a cell phone to call their parents, family, trusted neighbors, etc. in case of trouble. I still wouldn't give a phone like that to anyone under 14 years old.

[chipwhich]

If I were to consider any phone it would be one that can strictly call and only call a preset group of numbers which I can program and lock so they only have a cell phone to call their parents, family, trusted neighbors, etc. in case of trouble.

Good luck being a paranoid over-restrictive parent brah. It's what makes parenting a tough job and doesn't guarantee anything. :evilg:

[No_Pressure]

Good luck being a paranoid over-restrictive parent brah. It's what makes parenting a tough job and doesn't guarantee anything. :evilg:

Oh I suppose it's paranoid and over-restrictive to not want my children having the ability to call and send text messages to anybody at any time from a young age. God forbid I deem it unnecessary for a 13 year old to have text messaging. I didn't keep in mind that they'll have so many important things to discuss, being teenagers and all, and taking away cell phones would hinder their ability to do such things!!!

If I'm paranoid and you like to judge other people then assuming you have children have fun having children who get everything they want, and have no limits on what they are allowed to do. It's what creates a generation of over indulged losers who lack common intelligence, life skills and abilities because they were left to do whatever the **** they wanted as a result of the fact that their parents felt it was best to let an immature 14 year old call the shots.

I'm not your brah.