Windows: Get a New Marketing Team

[Hubbs]

I can't stand it anymore.

The Windows 7 commercials are easily some of the worst pieces of trash I've ever seen put on television. I know, I know, they're going for the "relating to everyone" angle. But you can't sacrifice anything and everything else for that angle. Like, I don't know, accounting for how people normally ****ing speak.

No one in the history of the world would say that something as politician-talking-about-sports-level vague as "They should make my PC simpler!" was a personal "idea." Every single one of these damn ads focuses on the least specific details of a computer that they could possibly talk about, with the result being that you could swap out "Windows 7" for "Windows 95" in them and nobody would know the ****ing difference.

This comes after the Jerry Seinfeld debacle that cost millions upon millions of dollars only to make people wonder what the hell they had just watched for the past 30 seconds.

Bill Gates would be making one of the smartest moves of his career if he fired his entire marketing department right now.

[/rant]

[CRogersGuy]

Honestly, I don't think the Windows commercials are that bad. Same thing with Apple. It's hard to make commercials that will appeal to everyone.

[zCommander]

Maybe you should send in your resume.

[Spaceman Spiff]

The Apple commercials are great because in a span of 30 seconds they're able to tell what sets them apart from a PC. If you have a PC and you hate it, you can quickly see there's an alternative. If you've switched to a mac, you understand it as well. They're quick, simple and to the point.

The Windows commercials are dumb. I don't need to see someone saying how windows 7 was their idea and how it came to them while they were in the shower or something.

[PokerPacker]

I hate both Apple and Microsoft commercials. they pander to idiots, in my opinion. But then again, those are the people they're targeting...

[CRogersGuy]

I hate both Apple and Microsoft commercials. they pander to idiots, in my opinion. But then again, those are the people they're targeting...

Yeah, this is probably true. Most people with any basic knowledge of computers already have a preference to a Mac or PC, and the commercials of either companies wont change the opinions.

[Hubbs]

Yeah, this is probably true. Most people with any basic knowledge of computers already have a preference to a Mac or PC, and the commercials of either companies wont change the opinions.

It's not about knowing computers. If Ford started running commercials in which some dude said that "using fewer gallons of gas" was "his idea," I'd want too find their marketing director and punch him in the face. It's like running ads that say that "making computers easier to use" is an individual person's idea. Oh wait, Microsoft actually is running those ads! And I feel like they believe I legitimately have a learning disability every time I see them! ****, I hate whoever thought that was a good idea.

[PokerPacker]

It's not about knowing computers. If Ford started running commercials in which some dude said that "using fewer gallons of gas" was "his idea," I'd want too find their marketing director and punch him in the face. It's like running ads that say that "making computers easier to use" is an individual person's idea. Oh wait, Microsoft actually is running those ads! And I feel like they believe I legitimately have a learning disability every time I see them! ****, I hate whoever thought that was a good idea.

they're not marketing to you. They don't give a crap what you think about their marketing because you're probably not not gonna be swayed by a commercial, but rather do research on your own and decide what's best for you. You seem to forget that idiots seem to be a plurality. Why do you think crappy music is so popular? All the idiots think alike.

[UtahSkinsFanatic]

The new Old Spice Body Soap commercials with the over-steroid guy screaming are the worst right now on tv. Their marketing team and their advertising agency should be embarrassed.

[Warhead36]

The new Old Spice Body Soap commercials with the over-steroid guy screaming are the worst right now on tv. Their marketing team and their advertising agency should be embarrassed.

Oh god yes. I love Terry Crews but that commercial is just terrible on every level.

[PokerPacker]

The new Old Spice Body Soap commercials with the over-steroid guy screaming are the worst right now on tv. Their marketing team and their advertising agency should be embarrassed.

I love Terry Crews' Old spice commercials! That's President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, yo!

edit: and you should know who Terry Crews is, being a former Redskin.

[Spartacus87]

The new Old Spice Body Soap commercials with the over-steroid guy screaming are the worst right now on tv. Their marketing team and their advertising agency should be embarrassed.

Eh, those just appeal to a certain brand of humor. They're directed by Tim & Eric, from the Tim & Eric Awesome Show on Adult Swim.

Personally, I love those commercials, just like I love the Tim & Eric Show. I understand why people might hate those ads though. They're pretty weird.

The only new Windows commercial I hate is the crappy Seth Rogen-wannabe who "comes up with the idea" to put multiple windows on the screen while he's in the shower.

[Enter Apotheosis]

I can't stand it anymore.

Hubbs' rants about Windows ads are easily some of the worst pieces of trash I've ever seen put on a message board. I know, I know, he's going for the "hating Microsoft" angle. But you can't sacrifice anything and everything else for that angle. Like, I don't know, accounting for how people normally ****ing react to commercials about products they have no interest in.

No one in the history of the world would say that posting something as neocon-talking-about-homosexuality-level annoying as "And I feel like they believe I legitimately have a learning disability every time I see them!" was a good "idea." Every single one of these damn posts focuses on the most mundane details of an advertisement that he could possibly talk about, with the result being that you could swap out "Microsoft" for "Apple" in them and nobody would know the ****ing difference.

This comes after the Super Bowl Prospects for Redskins/Cowgirls (Offensive Analysis) debacle that caused dozens and dozens of posts only to make people wonder what the hell they had just read for the past 30 seconds.

Hubbs would be making one of the smartest moves of his career if he would just drop his petty grudge right now.

[/rant]

... man, it's so much easier to launch a rant when you have a template in place

[mjah]

I can't remember a single Windows commercial that was ever very good.

That's true all the way back to the early industry-sales and internal stuff:

(Win 1.0) or the hideously rapping goofy upgrade dude (Win 5 upgrade) or

(Win 386)

To my recollection, the best thing they ever did was license "Start Me Up" for

that just showed random active-lifestyle computer users backed by the song. And that song has the lyric "you make a grown man cry" repeating over and over again, so it's not like that was perfect either...

Not that I'd really know, but I suspect that one of Microsoft's major ongoing commercial-producing problems is an excess of nerd-conceit culture which doesn't recognize its own social limitations, and which ends up tainting the marketing department as a result. Marketing should be kept as far away from the nerd dominion as possible; the weird compromises you get when you drop aggressive nerds into the marketing department meetings produce commercials that don't connect with most casual computer users.

In reality it's probably their army of Program Managers who have the privilege of interfering, not the heavy-lift nerds. But I say they're still hopelessly tainted with that fresh-nerd smell.

I'm not sure what to make of

. Incredibly poor taste or just hilarious?

[zoony]

you know how a company could set themselves apart nowadays? Run a 30 second spot that is informative and tells customers about the features and benefits of their product. No music, no funny camera angles, no jingles, nothing.

[Burgundy Burner]

... man, it's so much easier to launch a rant when you have a template in place

copying es rant template for future use.

[terpfan]

Has anyone noticed that the gap in attractiveness between the actors and the models pretending to be them in these commercials is getting smaller and smaller?

[Dr. Do Itch Big]

Has anyone noticed that the gap in attractiveness between the actors and the models pretending to be them in these commercials is getting smaller and smaller?

yep i find the "ordinary" french girl more attractive than the fake one.

[Sweet Sassy Molassy]

I love Terry Crews' Old spice commercials! That's President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, yo!

edit: and you should know who Terry Crews is, being a former Redskin.

Those are some of my favorite commercials out there, I guess it's not surprising considering I love Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job. Also Terry Crews is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors after his roles in Idiocracy (great movie btw), Everybody Hates Chris, and even his small roles in Benchwarmers and Balls of Fury.

yep i find the "ordinary" french girl more attractive than the fake one.

Agreed.

[Mad Mike]

you should know who Terry Crews is, being a former Redskin.

Heh, I'm sort of a casual fan (never knew much about him just always thought he was funny as hell) and I never new that.

On topic: I think it's ironic that if all those ideas were users ideas, they need to fire their programmers cause those ******* are useless.

This thread reminds me of a video made by someone I know using audio from Microsoft's preview of vista and replacing the visuals with the Mac OS which was already out. It's hilarious to listen to the MS VP talking as if these "new features" were some kind of wonderful Microsoft innovation.

But this is still the classic.

[Sweet Sassy Molassy]

Heh, I'm sort of a casual fan (never knew much about him just always thought he was funny as hell) and I never new that.

On topic: I think it's ironic that if all those ideas were users ideas, they need to fire their programmers cause those ******* are useless.

This thread reminds me of a video made by someone I know using audio from Microsoft's preview of vista and replacing the visuals with the Mac OS which was already out. It's hilarious to listen to the MS VP talking as if these "new features" were some kind of wonderful Microsoft innovation.

But this is still the classic.

What's more is that they've had like 3 commercials where different users have said that a particular feature is their idea. So either MS only added like 5 new features and are just regurgitating commercials with new actors, or one of those ****ers is lying about it being their suggestion.

[MrSilverMaC]

But this is still the classic.

That video is gold.

Too bad the windows 7 guy who popped up on here the other day wouldn't chime into this thread for us.

[jnhay]

I think the ads are good for what they're trying to do. They point out neat features that XP users probably don't have. That's pretty much it.

[No_Pressure]

Yeah, because those Macintosh ads with people talking about vague problems they had with their computers "magically" deleting their work (oh no!), how it was too confusing for them to plug in a USB device (lord have mercy!), or how they can finally use photoshop for all their totally cool "pix" as if it hadn't been available on multiple platforms since about 1992 were so completely on point.

Look, advertisements often have to appeal to the biggest, most simplistic idiots out there. Idiots will fall in love with windows 7 because of stupid stories about "cool" features just like droves of idiots fell in love with apple because of catch phrases like "it just works!".

It makes everybody feel good, like they have any idea what they're talking about. ****, after watching an apple commercial a few years back my dad, a man who couldn't tell you the difference between gigabytes and gigahertz, began lecturing me about how I should ditch my ****ty PC for a mac because "they just work" and "the software is better, it doesn't crash and stuff!". "But dad..." I pleaded, "I built my PC from scratch with top of the line parts and use windows XP because it is the absolute best platform and hardware combination to play PC Games competitively like I do..."

He told me I didn't know what I was talking about and I was missing out.

Commercials do some funny things to uninformed people. Sure the microsoft commercials suck and I don't have much love for their company, but the macintosh ones are just as stupid and on top of that they're elitist and pretentious. Basically what I'm getting at here is that if you make your computer brand decision based on a commercial you better go ahead and hop on the nearest short bus because you are a retard.

[Hubbs]

... man, it's so much easier to launch a rant when you have a template in place

Why do you have to drink the Haterade? That's just not fair.