BuckeyeSkins Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Stupid is as stupid does! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabidFan Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 I remember the immortal words of Socrates who said "I drank what?" Val Kilmer "Real Genius" :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashback Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Old man: "Nothin' but dumb luck!" Bukowski: "Yeah, but that counts, too." Barfly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big z Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 I'm mad as hell, and I'm NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poidog22 Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Originally posted by Flowtrain The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Dammit Flow, you stole mine. The Usual Suspects is a classic flick, and Kevin Spacey is a great actor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 From Papillon: Dega to Pappy: Do you remember what the chicken said to the weasel? Pappy: Well if he was a healthy weasel, the chicken wouldn't get a chance to say nothing. Think about that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 And, I just remembered "The Fugitive": Harrison Ford: "I didn't kill my wife." Tommy Lee Jones: "I don't care." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 From the Truman Show: "We accept the world with which we are presented with... It's as simple as that" my sig from Signs: "So what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you: are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?" From the Matrix: Neo- "What are you trying to tell me, that I can dodge bullets?" Morpheus- "No what i am saying is that when you're ready, you wont have to..." "Fate it seems is not without a sense of irony" "What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabidFan Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Avi "Why do they call him Boris the bullet dodger?" BTTony "Because he dodges bullets Avi" Snatch classic lines in that Wrath of Khan had so many greats Can't believe Riggotoni actually saw NIght of the Comet........me too "Names Hec.....Hec Gomez" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 "Be the ball" - Caddyshack "The Zen philosopher Basho once wrote that a flute with no holes in not a flute but a donut with no holes is a danish" - Caddyshack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 "You smoke this **** to escape from reality? Me I don't need this ****......I am reality." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 "Wafer-thin mint?" "Piss-off! Get me a bucket!" -The Meaning of Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stone Cold Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Nicholas Cage: "I’ll do my best" Sean Connery: "Losers always whine about doing their best…the winners go home and *uck the prom queen!" The Rock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godeatgod Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Smokey my friend, you're entering a world of pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuckeyeSkins Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 From the immortal Homer Simpson: DOH!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redman Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail King Arthur: Explain again how sheeps bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"... King Arthur: I am your king! Woman: Well I didn't vote for you! King Arthur: You don't vote for kings. Woman: Well how'd you become king then? [Angelic music plays...] King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king! Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony! I can't believe there aren't any Pulp Fiction quotes yet: Jules: Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a ***** out, and givin' a ***** a foot massage ain't even the same ****in' thing. Vincent: Not the same thing, but it's the same ballpark. Jules: It ain't no ****in' ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' a lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holiest of holies, ain't the same ****in ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same ****in' sport. Foot massages don't mean ****. Jules: Wanna know what I'm buyin' Ringo? Pumpkin: What? Jules: Your life. I'm givin' you that money so I don't hafta kill your ass. You read the Bible? Pumpkin: Not regularly. Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother****er before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd. Jules: Oh man, I will never forgive yo ass for this. This is some ****ed-up, repugnant ****! Vincent: Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he's wrong, then he's automatically forgiven of that wrongdoing? Jules: Man, get out of my face with that ****! The mother****er who said that never had to pick up itty bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass! And of course there's my favorite, Dr. Strangelove: Major T. J. "King" Kong: Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do. General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no. General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, about, uh, 35 minutes ago, General Jack Ripper, the commanding general of, uh, Burpelson Air Force Base, issued an order to the 34 B-52's of his Wing, which were airborne at the time as part of a special exercise we were holding called Operation Drop-Kick. Now, it appears that the order called for the planes to, uh, attack their targets inside Russia. The, uh, planes are fully armed with nuclear weapons with an average load of, um, 40 megatons each. Now, the central display of Russia will indicate the position of the planes. The triangles are their primary targets; the squares are their secondary targets. The aircraft will begin penetrating Russian radar cover within, uh, 25 minutes. President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons. General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his authority. General "Buck" Turgidson: General Ripper called Strategic Air Command headquarters shortly after he issued the go code. I have a phone transcript of that conversation if you'd like me to to read it. President Merkin Muffley: Read it! General "Buck" Turgidson: Ahem.. The Duty Officer asked General Ripper to confirm the fact that he *had* issued the go code, and he said, uh, "Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in, and nobody can bring them back. For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. Uh, my boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now, uhuh. Uh, so let's get going, there's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural.. fluids. God bless you all" and he hung up. [pause] Uh, we're, still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir. President Merkin Muffley: There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic. General "Buck" Turgidson: We-he-ell, uh, I'd like to hold off judgement on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in. President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson! When you instituted the human reliability tests, you *assured* me there was *no* possibility of such a thing *ever* occurring!! General "Buck" Turgidson: Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir. General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream. Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack. General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack. General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works. Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory? General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love. Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm. General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm. General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake. Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No. General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence. [General Turgenson's phone rings in the war room] General "Buck" Turgidson: Hello.. (whispering)look, I told you never to call me here, don't you know where I am?!?... Well look, baby, I c-, I *can't* talk to you now.. my president needs me!.. Of *course* Bucky'd rather be there with you!.. Of *course* it isn't only physical!.. I deeply respect you as a human being.. Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!.. Ah, listen uh, you just go back to sleep hon, and Bucky'll be back there just as soon as he can.. Alright,.. listen, sug, don't forget to say your prayers!! President Merkin Muffley: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Although I hate Alec Baldwin, 2 of his come to mind. "You think I have a God complex? I AM God."- Malice and "What's my name? Fu(k you, that's my name"- Glengarry Glen Ross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckydevil Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckydevil Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Here are some more gems. "Here are Scotland's terms: Lower your flags and march straight back to England. Stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness for 100 years of theft, rape, and murder. Do that, and your men shall live. Do it not, and everyone of you will die today."- Braveheart Yippy-ki-yay mother-f*cka." -- Die Hard "I do have a test today, that wasn't bullsh*t. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car." -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off "You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to." -- A Few Good Men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phishhead Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 I see Pulp Fiction. I'll bring some Resevoir Dogs up in here: Joe: "You don't need proof when you have instinct." Mr. Blonde: "I don't give a good f*ck what you know or don't know, I'm going to torture you anyway" Mr. Blonde: "If you're talking like a b*tch, I'm gonna slap you like a b*tch!" Mr. Brown: "Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. ****." Mr. Blonde: "Hey Joe, you want me to shoot this guy?" Mr. White: "[laughs] Sh*t.. You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize" Mr. White: "The choice between doing ten years and taking out some stupid motherfuc*er, ain't no choice at all. But I ain't no madman." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCS:BraveCaringSoul Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 --------------- Death: Silence!!! I have come for you. Protgonist: ... You mean to... Death: ... Take you away. That is my purpose. I am Death. Protagonist: Well that's cast rather a gloom over the evening hasn't it? --------------- 1. They haven't said much about the meaning of life so far, have they...? 2. Well, it's been building up to it. 3. Has it? 1. Yeah, I expect they'll get on to it now. 4. Personally I very much doubt if they're going to say anything about the meaning of life at all. 5. Oh, come on... they've got to say something. ---------------- "Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate." --------------- All from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Well, if we are going with great all-time lines. here are a few from The Princess Bride. ----- "You mock my pain!" "Life IS pain, Highness. anyone who says otherwise is selling something." ----- "You're that smart?" "Let me put it this way: Ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?" "Yes." "Morons." ----- You've fallen for one of the classic blunders! The most common of which is 'Never get Involved in a Landwar in Asia," but only slightly less well known is this: 'Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!' Ahaha hahaha ha ha ha---" *thud*" ----- "Tyrone, you know I like to watch you work, but I've got a wedding to plan, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped." "Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything." ----- "You mean to tell me you've been chasing me your whole life, only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous." ----- "'To the pain' means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever ..." "I think you're bluffing" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Ace Ventura: "Good question, Aguado. First I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 Lbs....PORKIN' HIS WIFE!" Air Force One: "Get off my plane!" North by Northwest: "How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?" Reindeer Games: "I want some hot chocolate. You want to hear about some Indian casino, I want to see some god*am hot chocolate! And a piece of pecan f*cking pie" The last of the Mohicans: "Death and honor are thought to be the same, but today I have learned that sometimes they are not." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Water is wet, the sky is blue, women have secrets. Bruce Willis - Last Boy Scout Yeah I guess I'm nearly twice your age. Had my back broke once and my hip twice. And on my worst day I could beat the hell out of you. John Wayne - The Cowboys (only time I ever root for'em) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Evil Genius Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Not a movie quote - but an all time favorite line I heard... "Masturbation is like this little knot I have inside of me that I can't untie." Mike Patton, Faith No More As for movie quotes, who can ever forget, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?" Joker in Batman The law is coming! You tell them I'm coming . . . and Hell's coming with me! You hear?! Hell's coming with me!" Wyatt Earp in Tombstone "I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter." Crash Davis in Bull Durham AND of course there is this classic exchange Ted: OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of? Bill, Ted: 69 dudes! Bill, Ted: Whoa! (Quadruple air guitar solo) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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