The Onion: Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck Returns From Injury For Some Reason

[MWLthe1st]

November 20, 2008

Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck Returns From Injury For Some Reason

SEATTLE—After missing five games with a bulging disc in his back, Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck returned to his 2-8 last-place team Sunday for reasons that are unknown at this time. "Well, that was pointless," a visibly exhausted Hasselbeck said after throwing for 170 yards and three interceptions in the Seahawks' 26-20 home loss. "I guess I thought I owed it to my teammates to go through that with them, but looking back on it, no one would wish that on another person. I mean, that game was quite possibly more painful than the extensive nerve damage in my back that kept me out. I can't remember why I decided to suit up for this one." When asked if he intended to play this Sunday against the Redskins, Hasselbeck responded by asking why, in God's name, he would do that.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/seahawks_qb_matt_hasselbeck

[occidio]

so confused right now

[OVCChairman]

so confused right now

:munchout:

me and you both

[CRobi21]

Ummmmm. What????

[TSO]

It's The Onion. They're just satire.

[Muzzah]

It's The Onion. They're just satire.

Quoted for truth.

The Onion is hilarious though.

[CrypticVillain]

:munchout:

me and you both

so confused right now

You both are in the metro area and you never heard of the onion. I am guesting you don't catch metro because them green newsstand bins are everywhere,

Edit: Here is one of their funniest ones that I have read

CHARLESTON, SC—After spending two months accompanying his wife, Hillary, on the campaign trail, former president Bill Clinton announced Monday that he is joining the 2008 presidential race, saying he "could no longer resist the urge."

"My fellow Americans, I am sick and tired of not being president," said Clinton, introducing his wife at a "Hillary '08" rally. "For seven agonizing years, I have sat idly by as others experienced the joys of campaigning, debating, and interacting with the people of this great nation, and I simply cannot take it anymore. I have to be president again. I have to."

[SkinsMaster88]

Wow, you guys have never heard of The Onion before?

[Springfield]

Seriously though...

Look at Hasselbeck's head. He must be some sort of alien. Weird.

[PCS]

[Dan T.]

Well this thread was fun while it lasted. . .

[westcoasthog]

Hahaha! The Onion is hilarious! And almost as hilarious is all the people here who don't get it! Hahaha!

[Grimm]

The Onion is great, I loled

[zCommander]

Seriously though...

Look at Hasselbeck's head. He must be some sort of alien. Weird.

I don't see what you mean. :laugh:

[MWLthe1st]

so confused right now

wow. The onion?

[Springfield]

I don't see what you mean. :laugh:

AAAAAhhhhhh!!!

Conehead Hasselbeck!!

[Cherick]

pickled onion is delicious.

[deejaydana]

The Onion rules!

Shame on you who know not of its infinite wisdom and merriment!

[Thirtyfive2seven]

Ok that was... not very funny. But ok.

[estrella117]

Good. Because Zorn pretty much taught him everything and knows what he can do and what he can't do. Plus he knows the formations audible's and offense aswell as alexander so we do have a edge on them.

[skinsfan07]

One of the better articles. lol

Because it COULD be true. I mean why would he want to come back? They suck and aren't going to make the playoffs anyways so why risk any further injury? He should have just sat the entire season out.

[str8jacket]

so we can reinjure him. Hasselbeck is an ugly mf.