Jump to content
Washington Football Team Logo
Extremeskins

Dad...


MissU28

Recommended Posts

Last night my sister-in-law and I were at the airport in Vegas getting ready to fly back to San Diego...and my brother called. He told me that our aunt Nikki had called him and told him that our dad was in the hospital...and that he'd been there since Saturday. When I asked why he was in there, I was told liver failure.

I called my dad this morning at the hospital. He sounded very tired but despite his condition, he sounded happy that we were flying out to see him. Even if he could get a liver transplant, he wouldn't want it. I'm sure when we see him he will talk about everything matter-of-factly and he won't be scared. I don't know what to expect when I go down to Tampa tomorrow. I don't know how I will handle it. I'm staying longer than my brother since he has to go back to work and since I have the summer off...but staying down in Tampa...alone...in the hospital with my very sick dad....I don't know. I can only tell him that I love him and hope God does what is best for him.

I'm sorry to hear about your father, he sounds like a brave man. It's good that you've gotten to spend as much time as you have with him though. Hopefully things work out for the best for all of you here. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision whatever that might be in this case. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

man, robin, that got to me coming and going. as both a son and a father, i can't imagine being in your situation and the swirl of emotions that it causes. i'm just happy for you that you and your father's relationship grew so strong after a rocky start. i'll certainly send you and your pops good thoughts/karma. after i call my dad, that is :).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last night my sister-in-law and I were at the airport in Vegas getting ready to fly back to San Diego...and my brother called. He told me that our aunt Nikki had called him and told him that our dad was in the hospital...and that he'd been there since Saturday. When I asked why he was in there, I was told liver failure.

My brother and I are flying out to Tampa tomorrow morning and I don't know how long we'll be staying. I'm not looking forward to it...it's going to be depressing and the outlook for my dad really isn't good. The hospital is recommending hospice care or assisted living.

My parents got divorced when I was 12. When I was a child I didn't get along with my dad at all. I was spoiled and my brother was the one who got all the attention from him. We are both very stubborn, and I get a lot of my "wild" traits from him...people that are too alike fight a lot. When we lived in Thailand my mom, my brother, and I lived in Bangkok and my dad was working in a different city, so he wasn't around a whole bunch.

After my dad moved out, he moved to Reston...then down to Florida. I visited him once when I was 15, and my dad tried very hard to make my time there fun...even though it was just me and him in his one bedroom apartment and there wasn't much to do.

Over the years my dad and I started to create a stronger relationship over the phone...he would call me and apologize to me, crying, about how our relationship was when I was a child. Of course I forgave him. Every time I would answer the phone he would be very interested in my life and ask a lot of questions, and we'd end up laughing together. I could always talk to him about things I wouldn't talk to my mom about. Every time he calls he asks if I have a boyfriend and I know he's very eager to hear if I'm happy.

I've seen my dad about 4 times in the past 10 years. The last time I saw him was in January for my brother's wedding...he flew all the way out to San Diego despite his lack of funds and lack of good health. It meant a lot to everyone for him to be there.

Until recently, he would call me, my mom, and my brother and sound very depressed. He then started going back to church and got a cat, and his mood improved greatly...it was so much nicer to hear him on the phone in a good mood and laughing.

I called my dad this morning at the hospital. He sounded very tired but despite his condition, he sounded happy that we were flying out to see him. Even if he could get a liver transplant, he wouldn't want it. I'm sure when we see him he will talk about everything matter-of-factly and he won't be scared. I don't know what to expect when I go down to Tampa tomorrow. I don't know how I will handle it. I'm staying longer than my brother since he has to go back to work and since I have the summer off...but staying down in Tampa...alone...in the hospital with my very sick dad....I don't know. I can only tell him that I love him and hope God does what is best for him.

:rubeyes: For what it's worth, Robin, I'm sorry. I hope everything pans out for you & your dad. You are right, tho. God will do what is right...for both of you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear/read about your father and his health troubles.

I'm sure that he's very happy that you're on your way over to see him and that your brother is coming with you. It stinks that you haven't seen him in a while and that you're being reunited because of this, but take whatever time you can get with him and cherish it.

It's amazing how some people are matter of fact about illness and perishing. I find it comforting that your father will be able to talk to you in a matter of fact way and confront the issues head on. It makes the situation a little easier to deal with.

I truly hope that your father gets better and that this is just some sort of fluke. I can't imagine how you and your brother must feel right now. Just be strong. :(

I'll keep you, your father and your family in my thoughts. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much for sharing that. As i read, it reminded me about my own Dad. My Dad had cancer and the part near the end where you said your Dad wouldn't want a liver transplant even if he could have one reminded me so much of my Dad. In fact, when i think about it, there are other similarities as well.

As a Christian myself, the bright spot in this is that your Dad has returned to the church and I gather that he has found this to be a source of strength in this trying time.

God bless you and your Dad. I pray that God's will be done and that He grant you peace of heart and peace of mind.

Tell your Dad that the Skins fans are pulling for him!

milton.

http://miltizme.blogspot.com

p.s. I pray that every man, woman and child comes to realize how important a father is in each of our lives...THE END!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robin...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad and your family.

I know firsthand the pain of watching a father battle an illness and ultimately losing a Dad that I was never as particularly close to as I would have wanted. It definitely takes and emotional toll on you. My father died after a year long battle with cancer at the age of 57. We were never close for a myriad of reasons but first and foremost was the fact that he was an alcoholic and verbally and physically abusive towards his children and his wife. My parents also raised a child with special needs that required around the clock care which I knew was a strain on their lives as well. The fact that I was there for my father each step of the way during that last year of his life, despite of what I saw as his shortcomings as a parent, and at his side when he died, enabled me to begin to view him in a different light and gain peace with his passing and our lack of a relationship. That was 16 years ago and I can visit his grave knowing that I made peace with our relationship during that last year. It sounds like you have already created that stronger relationship through your phone chats but cherish the time that still have with him and make the most of it. Tell him the things that you have always wanted to tell him. Share your dreams with him. And someday when he's gone and as you fulfill those dreams you'll know that he is there by your side watching and smiling.

God Bless you and your family in this time of need and be strong for your Dad...you are right...God will do what is right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you so much to all of you who sent me and my family well-wishes. My brother and I are still down in Florida...my dad's still alive and joking around, so I'm glad to see him in such good spirits. The doctor's going day by day, so while this is terminal, they have no idea if it's going to be a month, 2 months, a year...

Andy (my brother) and I have been very busy...today we started cleaning out my dad's apartment (which I can't even describe, it is ATROCIOUS...we did 3 hours ourselves and we're hiring professional cleaners to come in on Monday). Visited my dad... he's definitely in high spirits...he called the priest from his church to come and give him communion. Yesterday they drained 15 1/2 liters of fluid from his body...so he's swelling in the stomach and the feet...he looks pregnant.

Tomorrow we're going to rent a u-haul and put his stuff in storage (though we're throwing most of it away). Then we're going to talk to his case manager and see what we can do about assisted living. He doesn't want to go to hospice care bc he says that if there's an emergency in hospice care they won't call the hospital, they'll just let you go...so we're going to see what we can do about that. We're also going to see what we can do about getting power of attorney so we can take care of his finances.

Never thought I'd be doing things like this at such a young age...learning a lot these past few days, and am happy to know that my dad is not depressed... the nurse says he gets along great with his roommate and that they have crazy conversations (very normal from my dad..and his roommate is this 25 year old guy)..so I'm glad he has some company in there. The nurse says my dad walks down the hallways of the hospital and his gown will be loose over him and my dad says things like, "don't let all the women see this, they'll go crazy over my young firm buttox"...my dad's insane....but I'm happy he can laugh and make the people with him laugh.

Here's a pic I took with my phone yesterday...My dad and my brother... I asked my dad if he wanted a teddy bear and he said yes so I bought him one... and he carries it with him everywhere and cuddles with it at night... he calls it "sweetpea"... :)

dad2.jpg

again, thank you for all your kind words...it really means a lot to me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you so much to all of you who sent me and my family well-wishes. My brother and I are still down in Florida...my dad's still alive and joking around, so I'm glad to see him in such good spirits. The doctor's going day by day, so while this is terminal, they have no idea if it's going to be a month, 2 months, a year...

Here's a pic I took with my phone yesterday...My dad and my brother... I asked my dad if he wanted a teddy bear and he said yes so I bought him one... and he carries it with him everywhere and cuddles with it at night... he calls it "sweetpea"... :)

again, thank you for all your kind words...it really means a lot to me

Good to hear that your dad seems to be taking things well. Thanks for the update.

oh yeah and...you got your dad a pink teddy bear? :doh:

:laugh:

:silly:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:( Robin, I'm so sorry to hear. My thoughts go out to you, your dad and the rest of your family.

It is a very tough situation, and I'm happy that your dad is in good spirits throughout it all.

I know the feeling, and I can sympathize with your pain. I still have issues dealing with the death of my dad. I had the unpleasant experience (at 19) of watching my dad have a heart attack with me standing there scared ****less unable to help him, all I could do is hope the medics got there in time, which they didn't. So, I feel your pain, all I can say is keep your head up, and if you need someone, who's been through a similar situation, to talk to about it, PM me, or send me a me an IM (AIM: joemacmn).

Best wishes,

Joe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you so much to all of you who sent me and my family well-wishes. My brother and I are still down in Florida...my dad's still alive and joking around, so I'm glad to see him in such good spirits. The doctor's going day by day, so while this is terminal, they have no idea if it's going to be a month, 2 months, a year...

Andy (my brother) and I have been very busy...today we started cleaning out my dad's apartment (which I can't even describe, it is ATROCIOUS...we did 3 hours ourselves and we're hiring professional cleaners to come in on Monday). Visited my dad... he's definitely in high spirits...he called the priest from his church to come and give him communion. Yesterday they drained 15 1/2 liters of fluid from his body...so he's swelling in the stomach and the feet...he looks pregnant.

Tomorrow we're going to rent a u-haul and put his stuff in storage (though we're throwing most of it away). Then we're going to talk to his case manager and see what we can do about assisted living. He doesn't want to go to hospice care bc he says that if there's an emergency in hospice care they won't call the hospital, they'll just let you go...so we're going to see what we can do about that. We're also going to see what we can do about getting power of attorney so we can take care of his finances.

Never thought I'd be doing things like this at such a young age...learning a lot these past few days, and am happy to know that my dad is not depressed... the nurse says he gets along great with his roommate and that they have crazy conversations (very normal from my dad..and his roommate is this 25 year old guy)..so I'm glad he has some company in there. The nurse says my dad walks down the hallways of the hospital and his gown will be loose over him and my dad says things like, "don't let all the women see this, they'll go crazy over my young firm buttox"...my dad's insane....but I'm happy he can laugh and make the people with him laugh.

Here's a pic I took with my phone yesterday...My dad and my brother... I asked my dad if he wanted a teddy bear and he said yes so I bought him one... and he carries it with him everywhere and cuddles with it at night... he calls it "sweetpea"... :)

dad2.jpg

again, thank you for all your kind words...it really means a lot to me

Thanks for the update, Robin. Please let us know if we can do ANYTHING for you. Continue to hold to His unchanging hand. I love you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MissU, thanks for this thread and the update. My Dad's under hospice care now and he's hoping to make it to August. He has also recently strengthened his faith, and has been a strong witness to our family. My recent visit with him was great. Our regular phone conversations are something we both look forward to, but they tire him out quickly at this point.

Sounds like you're a great daughter to him. Always appreciate the time you still have with him. Hang in there. I know it's overwhelming. I'm right there with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...