fish Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Greetings Boys and Blondie! I haven't posted in quite awhile, just lurking lately. I have a story I thought you guys might find funny. Currently I'm stationed in the 3rd Infantry Regiment, aka The Old Guard, at FT Myer VA. For those of you who might not know, we are the guys that guard the Tomb of the Unkowns, conduct the military burials in Arlington National Cemetary (ANC) and a myriad of other ceremonial functions in addition to having to maintain the standard Infantry proficiency skill sets. You might remember when President Reagan died and his funeral proceedings..............We're the guys that did that. Anyway........... Yesterday, The President received the Prime Minister of Japan for an official State visit. The highlighted events were a Full Honors Joint Arrival ceremony at The White House (TWH), a Full honors Joint Wreath Ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknowns (TUS) and a State Dinner back at TWH. Ater beating feet back from TWH, I headed down into ANC for the wreath ceremony at the TUS. As you can imagine, the TUS is a sacred site and inhearently has a set of proper decorum and expected behavior, all of which is precisely and painstakenly articulated to the public by one of our sergeants prior to the execution of the ceremeony. Now this is nothing complicated.........AT ALL. I'm talking about VERY, VERY simple things like; be quiet, remain standing and place your hand over your heart and/or take your hat off at the playing of the National Anthem and the playing of Taps. All of these tasks are fairly easily attainable, right? Standing is easy because there are no chairs on which to sit and sitting on the stairs is VERY uncomfortable. Taking off the hat and placing the hand over the heart are skills that are usually taught at the elementary school level and reinforced most Natioanl holidays and sporting events. No worries right? Too easy eh? So the Prime Minister and the Commander make thier way to the Tomb, take their position and the band starts playing both the Japanese and American anthems (YES, plenty of irony there). We military boys render a proper military hand salute and the civilians cover their heart with either their hand or hat. Well, most of them anyway. Despite the briefing they received a mere 5 minutes prior and any standard common knowledge, there were still a few, approx 5-7, guys that didn't take off their hats. Now I usually position myself at the top of the steps in a supervisory, birds-eye-view overwatch position and did so yesterday. While scanning the crowd, I noticed this older gentleman wearing a Black and Gold baseball hat. Me being me - a football junkie - I just figured it was a Steelers hat. The Steelers being the reigning Champions and all the Rothlesburger (sp?) fiasco stuff recently in the news, it was a natural assumption. So, there we were at the begining of the anthems and these 5 knuckleheads didn't take off their hats. Right as my boys were ready to swoop in and kindly ask these folks to please do as we just told you to do, "sir", this booming voice says, "TAKE OFF YOUR HATS". It was like a voice "from above". We Army boys kinda looked around at each other silently asking each other "who was THAT?" responding with silent shrugs and upturned palms signifying that it wasn't any of us and nobody knew who it was. I kinda thought it came from the general direction of the guy in the Steelers hat, but since the crowd was all facing away from and below me, that was pure speculation. Whoever it was, got his point across though - quick. All remaining hats were whipped off those heads by the wearer in like 2.3 nano-seconds. The anthems played on and I returned to my position of attention and Present Arms (salute) with a "watever" kinda of disposition. A crissis had been averted and none of us had to deal with it. At the conclusion of the anthems, there is some reposturing, repositioning in preparation to place the wreath at the base of the tomb. After all these movements were completed, the bugler steped up and started playing Taps. Again, the Army boys whip off a strac salute, the civilians remove their hats and/or place their hands over hearts. This time all the hats were off, having learned their lesson and not wanting to re-hear "THE VOICE FROM ABOVE" again. All except 1 guy. This knucklehead still just didn't get it. To add insult to insult the backwardlly, diagonally off kilter set hat was a ............. you guessed it........a cowgirl hat! :doh: Well, by I now, I was ready to swoop in and square this jack-off right away. But before I had taken 3 steps, Steeler hat reaches over and smacks this punk right smack dab in the back of the head knocking the offensive cowpuke hat onto the ground! :cool: Of course the smack-ee (a 20-something trailer trash, pencil-thin mustache wearing cornfed, braindead, inbred punk) turns to face the smack-er. My full dress blues, menacing stone cold hard face wearing self appeared right over Steeler hat's shoulder and in my best drill sergeant growl, I sneer "Leave the hat on the ground, EYES FRONT"! Which of course, he did. On the outside, my public face was :mad: , but inside I was :notworthy :applause: and :laugh: ! When the ceremony was officially complete, I went over to the Black and Gold wearing baseball hat guy, shook his hand and thanked him for his assistance in policing up the riff raff. It was then I noticed that his hat was not a Pittsburgh hat at all, but an Army hat. The Army colors are Black and Gold. West Point athletic team colors are black and gold and the ranger tab is black with gold letter spelling out R-A-N-G-E-R in a half moon-shape. This gentleman was a retired Army officer. He said, "No problem, it was a pleasure. Not only am I a retired Infantry Colonel, former Airborne, Ranger (while tapping the wings and Ranger tab on my uniform) but I'm also a Redskins fan. So slapping that g#@*&amn cowgirl hat was was just icing on the cake!" This guy was like 55 or so and he actually used the term "cowgirl"! I was cracking up! I thought you guys might enjoy that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaron Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Awesome, awesome story dude!!! :notworthy Wish I could have been there to see it. :applause: Oh, and what a typical cowgirl fan.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomahawks Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Now that, my friend, is a story worth reading (great ending). I know you guys have to be serious and stoned faced, but I don't know if I could have done it. Brokebacks are funny.....:laugh: :dallasuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redskinsfan79 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Great Story Thank You For Your Service God Bless You Hail To The Redskins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWinzit Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I live across the street from a proud West Point Grad and retired Colonial. I can picture him doing the same. Thanks serving and for taking the time to write this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Mike Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Thanks for sharing. Great story and well told! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsfan44 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Great story, fish. Thanks for sharing. That made my morning. I know what you mean by these "knuckleheads" not taking their hats off during the NA as it happens at Harry Grove Stadium (I work for the Frederick Keys minor league baseball team) from time to time and I so happen to be that "booming voice" that thunders out "Hats Off" to many times that I lost count. :doh: Thank you for your service to our country, fish. :notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. S Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 man, nice gig you got going there, I mean, seems like a really honorable position to get! Also, great story, definitely helped make my morning better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyKilmer Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I have chill bumps, thank you for what you do. Any words I post would ring hollow to the depth of my thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blk_rshn Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 LOL. Love it - 1/75 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsNatsFan Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Excellent story, and thank you fish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D Al Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 This just made my day. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxSpearheadxX Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 :laugh: Great narrative, that was a long one but well worth the read. I don't understand how someone would think not to take off their hat, that is just unbelievable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Nice return, brother fish. Don't be such a stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betsy thurman Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 great story Fish! love to hear that our retired military guys are "still on the job" , he deserved that smack on the head -- also , thank you for your service to our country, we so appreciate all that you and your brothers and sisters in the military do to keep us safe and free ---- my hat is off to you!! :notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronicdesi Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 That was a great way to start off my day. And it's Friday, man things couldn't go better... Awesome story and very well told. Thanks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xameil Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Awesome story...thank you for sharing, and as everyone else has stated, your service to helping keep this country great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Great story fish. Feel free to drop by with more of these! Thanks for your service to the US. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostRider Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Now that really made me laugh out loud. Great story and it doesn't surprise me the degenerate was a cowboy's fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkart Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 HAAHAAAAAAA!!!!! That was a great story, thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassow Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 My little sister is dating a guy in The Old Guard....Brennan, from New Mexico ring a bell? He seems like a decent guy...but if you know him...and catch him acting up....smack his ass upsidedahead one time for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinz89 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Great story:applause: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbasye Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Bravo... rangers lead the way ps... thats quite an honor, and a heck of a hard job you have there guarding the tomb. thanks for dedication you and the other tomb guards have, especially in the wee hours of the night when no one else is there, still continuing to honor our fellow countrymen fallen in battle whose names we will never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-Dog Night Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Great, great story, thanks for sharing it with us. I had a similar experience about 2-3 weeks ago. Not quite on the level as yours, but hey, seems like a good place to tell it. I recently took a new job managing a public golf course. Recently, a couple of young numbskulls came in to play, and one of them was wearing a grey T-shirt that said, in huge, bold capital letters across the front, "DALLAS COWBOYS". It made me sick to my stomach, really, and I was about to say something like "How'd you guys do in the playoffs last year?" but I refrained. Mainly, this guy was scaring me. He was about 5 feet tall and must have weighed 250 pounds, with garbled, trogloditic facial features and the standard trailer park buzz cut. His teeth resembled a white picket fence - make that a brown picket fence. You could have fit a nicely placed 5-iron shot between the gap in his front teeth. And to top it off, he had some obscenely large blob of black goop stuck to one of his aforemntioned crooked teeth. It was unmissable, for most people at least. I'm telling you, that chunk of dark rancid mucus could have fed several starving families. This guy's photo would be ideal next to an encyclopedia entry entitled "Results of Inbreeding". So a little over an hour later, I get a call from the course pro, who is giving an on-course lesson on the back nine. He informs me that someone has driven a cart into the marsh on hole #14 and has gotten stuck, and I need to grab a maintenance cart and pull him out. Note that this marsh is clearly roped off, serving as a normally obvious indication that this area is off limits to walking, much less anyone driving a cart. I'll give you one guess who was driving. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsman4u Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Greetings Boys and Blondie!I haven't posted in quite awhile, just lurking lately. I have a story I thought you guys might find funny. Currently I'm stationed in the 3rd Infantry Regiment, aka The Old Guard, at FT Myer VA. For those of you who might not know, we are the guys that guard the Tomb of the Unkowns, conduct the military burials in Arlington National Cemetary (ANC) and a myriad of other ceremonial functions in addition to having to maintain the standard Infantry proficiency skill sets. You might remember when President Reagan died and his funeral proceedings..............We're the guys that did that. Hooah! I'm at FT Lee, VA, active duty, and use to be a supply sergeant for the United Nations Command Honor Guard Company, located in Seoul, Korea...that was back in "93". Whenever an Honor Guard member is slated for a hardship tour in Korea, UNC Honor Guard Company is where there assigned. I've since moved up a "lil" (OCS) and am now an 0-3E (E=enlisted experience and huge pay difference than just an 0-3/CPT) assigned as a logistics analyst....analyst just sounds cute that's all.....but briefings can get a little intense depending on who you're briefing. Anyhow, good post...there probably military or vetereans all up and down this board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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