The Miscellaneous Humor Thread---vids/gifs/pics/jokes---no articles, no "owned" stuff

[LD0506]

[Koolblue13]

[TradeTheBeal!]

[Koolblue13]

[The Evil Genius]

The safe rides...

 

Edited December 16, 2023 by The Evil Genius

[Koolblue13]

[Koolblue13]

[Renegade7]

[skinsmarydu]

[Captain Wiggles]

[Koolblue13]

[Koolblue13]

[Captain Wiggles]

[Koolblue13]

[Captain Wiggles]

[Captain Wiggles]

[Momma There Goes That Man]

4 hours ago, Captain Wiggles said:

me with the Golden Corral steak buffet 

[Captain Wiggles]

[Jabbyrwock]

11 hours ago, LD0506 said:

 

A seussafix?

[China]

 A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
 exchange:
 
 Officer:
 May I see your driver's license?
 
 Driver:
 I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
 
 Officer:
 May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
 
 Driver:
 It's not my car. I stole it.
 
 Officer:
 The car is stolen?
 
 Driver:
 That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's  card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
 
 Officer:
 There's a gun in the glove box?
 
 Driver:
 Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who  owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
 
 Officer:
 There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
 
 Driver:
 Yes, sir.
 
 Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.  The car  was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the  driver to handle the tense situation:
 
 Captain:
 Sir, can I see your license?
 
 Driver:
 Sure. Here it is.
 
 It was valid.
 
 Captain:
 Who's car is this?
 
 Driver:
 It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
 
 The driver owned the car.
 
 Captain:
 Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun  in it?
 
 Driver:
 Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
 
 Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
 
 Captain:
 Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a  body in it.
 
 Driver:
 No problem.
 
 Trunk is opened; no body.
 
 Captain:
 I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him  you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and  that there was a dead body in the trunk.
 
 Driver:
 Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.
 

[dfitzo53]

[Captain Wiggles]

[Koolblue13]

[Captain Wiggles]

[skinsmarydu]