ibrahim Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Washington Times by Ibrahim Balogun December 9, 2003. It has just been reported from redskins park that Redskins WR Lavareneuous Coles is out for remainder of the season with a chronic flu. To replace Coles, the Redskins re-signed former top 1st rd draft pick, big sized, reliable hands, speedstar, multiple 1000 rec. yd receiver...Michael Westbrook. In related new, all members of Redskin fan site, Extremeskins, were cited storming Redskins park with banners and roses hailing Snyder for bringing back their hero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 George Michael will be off the air next week. He will undergo surgery to have his lips surgically removed from Daniel Snyder's As$. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Lavernaeious Coles will be inactive next week. He will undergo surgery to have malignant vowels removed from his name. Vanna White will serve as surgical assistant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMonkey Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Originally posted by Dan T. Lavernaeious Coles will be inactive next week. He will undergo surgery to have malignant vowels removed from his name. Vanna White will serve as surgical assistant. LMFAO!!!:rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troy Fakeman Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 This just in....Ex-Washington Redskin Deion Sanders openly admits that he was payed off by Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to do inside reconnaissance and disrupt the Washington Redskins organization. Ever since he signed a ludacris $55 million deal, including an $8 million signing bonus with the Redskins organization, the team has been in a downward spiral and has yet to reclaim its Football Supremacy. Next up on the Daily Show......Kenny G Blows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: lol @ both of Dan Ts!! http://redskins.com/story.asp?ContentID=16139 League Apologizes to 'Skins 12/09/2003 By Skins24 Redskins Insider In a move Redskins officials say is to little to late, the NFL sent a formal letter of apology to the 'Skins for serveral blown calls thoughout the season. Some of which may have cost the Redskins any slime chance of making the playoffs. "We ****ed up." Paul Tagliabue said in his letter, with a promise that "this **** won't happen again." In a conference call yesterday, when asked why the officials have missed so many calls, and have been "flag happy" with the Skins, Tagliabue could only reply "Because." When asked about the decision, Spurrier said "Well, I guess it's a good thing. A little too late, but, yep. It's uh, good they found those mistakes so they can umm, learn from them, and maybe referee the game a bit better. We can't get any more of them phantom calls we get all the time. But the officials....they do a good job. We do our job, they do their job, and umm well, we all can get a bit better." Several reporters shot themselves soon after the conference call. Daniel Synder had no comment. Also in the letter was an apology to Bruce Smith for having to take away 1.5 sacks leaving him with 197.5 instead of the record breaking 199. "The 1/2 sack was taken away from the Jets game, and the other sack was taken away because you are a jack ass" the letter stated. In other Redskins news, former Skins coach Joe Gibbs was hired as an assistant coach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryman of the North Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 This just in, In a surprise move today The redskin fired steve spurrier and Hired popular washington sports Icon Deion Sanders as his replacement citing deions work ethic, technique and knowledge of the game as motivating factors in the move. Deion prompyly predicted a super bowl win even though the skins are currently out of playoff contention. Bruce Smith was overheard saying"finally a coach i can get on the same page with! a guy who is all about unselfish team play and self sacrifice". In a related story Daniel snyder had Vinny cerratos lips surgically removed from his nether regions prior to firing him after this latest debacle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 In a ceremony on Dec. 27, before the game against the Eagles, Brett Conway will be added to the Redskins ring of fame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 '24, I'm likin' the piece with the letter from Tags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhayunga Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 This just in --- Daniel Snyder hires a general manager vowing to stay out of team management. <------ Wait a minute you said they have to be believable. Sorry guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Bailey traded to Detroit for Shaun Rogers and the Lions first-round pick. Bailey announces he's happy to be in Detroit and reunited with his brother. Redskins then trade Chris Samuels to Detroit for Boss Bailey and next year's first . Champ Bailey is angered by the deal and feels betrayed by the Lions. Demands trade. Redskins trade two firsts -- acquired from Detroit -- for Bailey. Bailey says he's happy to be back home and reunited with his brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WallyG3 Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Originally posted by Om Redskins Reveal 4th Quarter Defensive Strategy Designed by Andre Maginot. There's always room for Frenchie bashing! Nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symbol Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Steve Spurrier finally smartens up: Washinton Redskins Head Coach Steve Spurrier finally gets some real coaching help. He was seen reading a yellow book entitled, "Coaching in the NFL for Redneck Dummies." After reading this book, Coach Spurrier had this to say. "Well gosh durn it, I was wrong. This season we're only going to be using one ball thrower because we're going to be tradin Tim Hasselback and a first rounder to the Panthers for Steven Davis back. He'll be our man this year." Steven Davis was not available for comment about his trade back to the Washington Redskins. Washington Redskins Tackle Chris Samuals had this to say about Steve Spurrier's new Fun and Run system. "It's about time we he learns that we're not going to block for his stupid quarter backs anymore. The running game is what I was drafted for." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troy Fakeman Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 the words "French" and "Defense" should never be placed in the same text. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Redskins make the playoffs after winning out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symbol Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Originally posted by Henry Redskins make the playoffs after winning out. Henry, that actually could happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Originally posted by Symbol Henry, that actually could happen. Wacky, zany, yet plausible. I think I got it all in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TK Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Redskins Stores & NFL Shops annouce clearance sale Bruce Smith "All Time" merchandise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibrahim Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Redskins report 12/09/03 Hasselbeck out It has just been reported that during Tuesday practice, Redskins QB Tim Hasselbeck was knocked into last year by LB Lavar Arrington while the QB was looking downfield for a pass to Rod Gardner. This puts the QB on IR and leaves the 'skins with just Gibran Hamsamich as the only QB on the roster. In related new, to back up Hamsamich this Sunday against hated rivals, dallas, the Redskins signed QB Jeff George. In an interview with Coach Steve Spurrier after practice, he has been quoted saying "Uhmm, we jus have to let Lavar know that....Umh....he need to chill THE F*CK out with hits like that...we dont need to be hitting each other that hard during practices dagummit...and I am sure he knows better...he probably just got a little excited. As for Gibran, we believe he can play as well as any of our QBs, he has been pitching around pretty well all week, and should be ready to go" copyright 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom [Giants fan] Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Dan Snyder fires his GM and Spurrier taking over the complete operation of the Washington Redskins from ownership to coach. He is also going to give a try at being both Defensive and Offensive coordinator. Snyder was quoted as saying, "I'm going to install my own system called the 'get rich quick offense' where I will coax retired offensive studs out of retirement and pay them more than anyone has ever been paid." Snyder showing his talent scout smarts says he is going to start by coaxing Vinny Testaverde and Emmit Smith out of retirement to play for the Redskins prompting all the media to drop their notepads and pens. When seeing the reaction, Snydyer's reply is, "genius, aint it?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba9497 Posted December 9, 2003 Author Share Posted December 9, 2003 SI writer Peter King stated today that there would be earthquake in Virginia before the Skin made it back to the Superbowl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aREDSKIN Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 ESPN Ticker.......................... ESPN news has just announced the firing of Senior sports writer Len Pasquaeli. ESPN has learned, from law enforcement officials, that LP was caught up in an eloborate male hooker ring operating out of the Washington, DC area. Additionally, it appears that one Mr. Daniel Snyder, purportedly the owner of the Washington Redskins, was LP's primary, butt not exclusive client (John). ESPN has also confirmed that as a ruse LP purposefully disiminated disparaging material about the Redskins in his ESPN colums so no one would suspect the secret relationship. Attempts to contact Mr. Snyder were unsuccessful but his "personal" assisstant Vinny "brown nose" Cerrato did confim the "working relationship" between Mr. Snyder & LP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibrahim Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 980 just reported that JJ called in Quincy and told him that the team will not be bringing in a VET QB and Quincy is the future saying Quincy is the reason the Pokes are where they are at now :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gillherb Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Espn.com reports the Washington Redskins are going to fire offensive coordinator Hue Jackson at 8 p.m. after the final game of the season, promptly hiring longtime broadcaster/TV personality Stuart Scott to replace him. Scott was quoted saying, "Laverneus Coles has a mean L2 spin move in Madden, I plan on employing these skills to the field. Also, at practice we will listen to rap music." In related news, George Edwards was quoted around Skins park as saying they were considering resigning Dan Turk as center, but an official interrupted him, stating "sorry George, Dan died I don't think he'll be back anytime soon." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_good_brotha Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Jacquez Green has been signed as the Redskins wide receivers coach. His main project is to get Cliff Russell ready to start the 2004 season opposite Laveraneus Coles in place of Rod Gardner who was traded to the Cincinnati Bengals for a draft pick to be named in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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