Teller Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for "one last, one last" Meet the Hog. I truly planned on retiring these threads, and did for quite some time. It was brought back for a dear friend whose life has taken some major turns for the good of late (well deserved.) And I'm going to do it one last time for an arch-nemesis, thorn-in-my-side helluva good guy. Seems as though I missed his 50th birthday last month. And well, we just can't have that now, can we? For those of you unfamiliar with these "Meet the Hog" threads, I used to do them to honor, pick on, and generally try to amuse some of the Tailgate regulars. The quotes from the honorees are taken directly from their ES posts, and used entirely out of context and without permission. Without further ado, it is my high honor and distinct privilege to present my friend, and my Chief Blood Pressure Raiser in Charge....Predicto. MTH: Ladies and gentlemen, today we welcome a man who needs no introduction to anyone who has spent more than a day or two in the Extremeskins Tailgate. He is a man who is loved and respected, cursed and reviled, but never ignored. He is, of course, Predicto. P, thanks so much for taking time away from your lattes and manicure to join us today. It's good to have you. Predicto: I certainly have doubts about that MTH: Well, honestly, I do to, but it's been a while since we sat down together. How've you been? Predicto: Fine. I live in a very gay neighborhood, perhaps the gayest neighborhood in America. MTH: You mean happy? You, and your neighbors are very happy these days? Predicto: Actually, that was simply humor - and very well done humor I might add. MTH: Ah, of course. Leave it to a half-century old arch-conservative like yourself to take a shot at homosexuals right off the bat. You've probably never even been in a gay couple's house have you? Predicto: I got to take a tour of the inside of that place before they consecrated it... it was stunning MTH: To coin a stereotype, they are quite handy decorators. Aren't they? Predicto: Can't argue with that. MTH: So P, I think it's time to let the cat out of the bag. You paint yourself on the board as the typical California liberal, but in reality, when you and I chat in PM's, you show your true self. Someone who is slightly to the right of twa. You're a Republican, aren't you? Predicto: Exactly. MTH: Why? Predicto: You see, real Americans aren't scared of Cuban immigrants. They hate commies and they vote Republican. MTH: OK, so you don't like Cubans, or at least aren't scared of them. Do you like everyone else, as you seem to on the board? Do you think immigrants from other nations should get their fighting chance in the United States? Predicto: Yes. Except Mexicans. MTH: Why not Mexicans? Because they're stereotypically lazy? Predicto: Mexicans are also fat as hell. MTH: So is immigration the main reason you're a Republican? Or is it something else? Predicto: because the current version of the GOP is adamantly opposed to any substantive immigration reform, and has blocked such efforts over and over. MTH: You want the border closed, and the fat, lazy, commie illegals kicked out of the United States. Predicto: There and everywhere else in the entire world. MTH: Are you advocating some sort of......genocide? Predicto: I would think that someone like you...would welcome the opportunity to discuss your ideas with someone who actually knows what they are talking about. MTH: And that's true, but you agreed to be interviewed by me, and so few do. Predicto: The President would love to do that. MTH: The president? I thought you said I should talk to someone who knows what they're talking about. Predicto: that socialist Obama has exploded the size of government MTH: He really has. I share your anger and vitriol. This healthcare thing is going to be a disaster. Predicto: Well, that's why they had to tell everyone now, silly. MTH: Probably also why the guy who drafted Obamacare just resigned. Predicto: I'm sure that's true. MTH: So you oppose immigration, you're anti-gay, you hate Obama...dare we broach the subject of abortion? Predicto: NO no no!! MTH: Oh, yes, yes, yes!!! I think it's only fair that ES, after all these years, meet the REAL Predicto. Tell us your real stance on abortion, please. Predicto: we were created by God MTH: In the womb? Predicto: Seems like you are mixing philosophy with science here. MTH: Not at all. I'm curious as to whether or not YOU believe God gives us our souls while we're still in the womb. Predicto: No doubt. And you know this. MTH: But you purport to be an athei... Predicto: Don't question my faith, you heathen! MTH: I...I won't. So there you have it folks, the gay-hating, immigrant-bashing, pro-life, Christian-conservative, REAL American, Predicto! P, is there anything else you want to add before we go? Predicto: I'm Predicto, and I'm an alcoholic... err... Tailgate addict. MTH: And we're glad you are, buddy. Thanks for joining us. Predicto: Of course. * Happy belated, brother, and thanks for the debates, heated and not, over the years. I appreciate your patience, your friendship, and the facts that you've presented, that have helped me learn and grow as a person. I hope you can keep up your skills and wit for another half century! All the best. You're one of the good ones. (Ya commie bastage.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I enjoyed reading that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Very nicely done. I'm sad... and probably relieved that I never got the treatment. You do these quite well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Well done sir. Well done. Another classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconTheVillain Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 You do these quite well. Indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Philosophy with science, that was a great find! Well done as usual HH, happy belated Predicto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Very nicely done. I'm sad... and probably relieved that I never got the treatment.You do these quite well. Maybe I oughta just unretire them, but keep them more infrequent. There are a few posters that I haven't hit yet that I definitely want to. Among them, our resident Pravda reporter. I quit in the first place, because I kept making the same jokes, and it got stale. We'll see. I've enjoyed doing the last couple of 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 But I'm sure it was funny though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitman21ST Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I've still got a ways to go before I'm 50, so I'm thankful that I won't be the subject of one for a long time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 LMAO @ "Didn't Read" And wow. According to the "related threads" at the bottom of the screen, this is my THIRD Predicto-based thread. Even I find that a little creepy. :paranoid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Damn stalkers. Get off my lawn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Damn stalkers. Get off my lawn! What Predicto may look like Belated happy birthday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 What Predicto may look like Actually, I like birds. Besides, here's a recent unposed shot of me: ---------- Post added June-21st-2012 at 09:07 AM ---------- H_H is correct about one thing. As I get older than dirt, and senile dementia starts to kick in, I find myself thinking more and more like a Republican. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzSkinsFan63 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Happy belated B-day Predicto..what would this place be without you? And if we learn anything from this we should now all know exactly what "taken out of context" means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Happy belated B-day Predicto..what would this place be without you? Less pedantic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsmarydu Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Have a great one!! (Well done, HH, you da man.) Oh, and Hail! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.