Date rape, Sexual assault....does it really happen that much

[NavyDave]

One rape or assault is one too many.

[LaxBuddy21]

^^^ damn dude, that's exactly what I'm talking about... I think rape stats are actually probably pretty good, because for every rape that goes unreported, there is probably a false accusation.

and lmao at your roommate watching you

He was a creepy guy too. We heard a noise so we stopped and she asked me is your roommate :jerk:? I popped my head up and looked over at him and all of a sudden he turns over really fast and whips the covers over his head. I was like yea pretty sure thats what he was doing...lol

[twa]

True that.

Serious question though, would that girl have actually had a case? There were plenty of people at that party that saw her all over him that night. And like I said, they were both drunk, so even if she didn't like later on what she had done, at the time it was still consensual. I just think a defense attorney would have torn her to shreds.

She could have a case,and the fact she was all over him does not exclude charges being filed.

Hell,she can get naked in bed and fool around...No (or a diminished capacity yes) can mean No

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

Because... I was filming it. jk

No it was very much consensual. They were BOTH drunk. If she did something that she regretted the next day, that's her problem and she should learn to handle her alcohol. It doesn't make it rape.

You could make the argument that if she was as drunk as you say, she was incapable of giving consent.

Here is my advice to everyon: if you can't remember having sex, you probably should not have had sex.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

At some point in the last three years, I've become a terrible old fogey.

But the idea that alcohol can be a mitigating factor in a sexual assault case does not hold water for me.

We would not say, "Well, I didn't know I was driving left of center, I was drunk" or "I didn't know it wasn't my window....I was drunk."

So, I don't think it matters that you were drunk or the girl was drunk. If you aren't sober enough to grasp the concept of consent, you probabl are not sober enough to give consent or understand if consent has been given.

So...I really have no sympahty for the guy who has the "drunken hookup" that turns ugly. You are not really the one who has to live with the result of what occurred, and you decided to participate in one could easily be described as an "inherently dangerous" activity while drunk.

To me, the only really disturbing wrongful accusations are the ones where nothing actually occurred.

So...good luck to you.

[LaxBuddy21]

At some point in the last three years' date=' I've become a terrible old fogey.

But the idea that alcohol can be a mitigating factor in a sexual assault case does not hold water for me.

We would not say, "Well, I didn't know I was driving left of center, I was drunk" or "I didn't know it wasn't my window....I was drunk."

So, I don't think it matters that you were drunk or the girl was drunk. If you aren't sober enough to grasp the concept of consent, you probabl are not sober enough to give consent or understand if consent has been given.

So...I really have no sympahty for the guy who has the "drunken hookup" that turns ugly. You are not really the one who has to live with the result of what occurred, and you decided to participate in one could easily be described as an "inherently dangerous" activity while drunk.

To me, the only really disturbing wrongful accusations are the ones where nothing actually occurred.

So...good luck to you.[/quote']

I agree with you except I think you should be held responsible for your actions when you are drunk. If you tell some guy he can sleep with you while you are drunk, you should be responsible for that decision. It should not be the responsibility of the other party to perform a field sobriety test to determine if your yes really constitutes a yes or not. Guys should not be sleeping with drunk girls and girls should not be getting so drunk they consent to things they didnt mean to. It goes both ways in my eyes.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

I agree with you except I think you should be held responsible for your actions when you are drunk. If you tell some guy he can sleep with you while you are drunk, you should be responsible for that decision. It should not be the responsibility of the other party to perform a field sobriety test to determine if your yes really constitutes a yes or not. Guys should not be sleeping with drunk girls and girls should not be getting so drunk they consent to things they didnt mean to. It goes both ways in my eyes.

In a perfect world, yes. But whose job is it to sort out whether she said yes or didn't say yes? And who can really sort that out? And knowing what we know about rape and date rape, can we really ever give the man the benefit of the doubt in that situation?

[Zguy28]

There are some losers who can't get women on their own. D-bags who need to resort to drugging a woman or plying a woman with alcohol to the point that she can't speak in order to have sex with them should have their jewels sliced off with a blunt knife. Seriously.

Also, yes it happens quite often. Several of my closest female friends have been sexually assaulted and told me about their experiences in confidence and with a great deal of emotion. They weren't trying to elicit sympathy or get attention; most of them spilled their guts when something random triggered a memory.

When you say sexually assaulted, what do you mean? Can you elaborate? Rape? Harrassment?

[TheGoodBits]

I agree with you except I think you should be held responsible for your actions when you are drunk. If you tell some guy he can sleep with you while you are drunk, you should be responsible for that decision. It should not be the responsibility of the other party to perform a field sobriety test to determine if your yes really constitutes a yes or not. Guys should not be sleeping with drunk girls and girls should not be getting so drunk they consent to things they didnt mean to. It goes both ways in my eyes.

Exactly.

[LaxBuddy21]

In a perfect world' date=' yes. But whose job is it to sort out whether she said yes or didn't say yes? And who can really sort that out? And knowing what we know about rape and date rape, can we really ever give the man the benefit of the doubt in that situation?[/quote']

I completely hear what you are saying. But in our judicial system, shouldn't the burden of proof be on the girl? In situations like this, the guy always has to prove he didnt do anything wrong not the other way around. It is very very difficult to judge a he said she said situation and since sexual encounters usually happen in privacy between two people, how do you truly judge who is at fault and how much so? Do we really have to start going to signed agreements?

[Madison Redskin]

When you say sexually assaulted, what do you mean? Can you elaborate? Rape? Harrassment?

Rape.

[ljs]

I grinned, those other guys are pretty uptight..

Actually I'm a woman, who has experienced this so NO, I don't think the jokes are funny.

[renaissance]

Seriously, anyone who jokes about sexual assault should maybe go tell those jokes to their mom or sister. Or imagine it's your mom or sister as the subject of one of those jokes.

[TheGoodBits]

Seriously, anyone who jokes about sexual assault should maybe go tell those jokes to their mom or sister. Or imagine it's your mom or sister as the subject of one of those jokes.

Who's joking?

[ljs]

Who's joking?

Not you, You'll have to read the whole thing...there are some stupid one liners in this thread.

[TheGoodBits]

Not you, You'll have to read the whole thing...there are some stupid one liners in this thread.

Gotcha. I thought she was giving me a hard time about me laughing at Lax's roommate watching him do it.

[brianforster]

Anyone who gets their feelings hurt over a joke is up tight to me.. One of the greatest parts about comedy is that you can say whatever you want. People will find it funny, or they won't.

Are you telling me that you have never laughed at a joke that may be offensive?

Get over yourself, nobody is condoning sexual assault.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

When you say sexually assaulted, what do you mean? Can you elaborate? Rape? Harrassment?

Why is there this tough distinction between harrassment and assault?

Here is the difference.

If you can be fired for it, it is likely harrassment.

If you can go to jail for it, it is assault.

Comments - unless they are threatening - are harrasment.

Any unlawful touching.

ANY...unlawful (which is to say unwanted) touching.

Is assault.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

Anyone who gets their feelings hurt over a joke is up tight to me.. One of the greatest parts about comedy is that you can say whatever you want. People will find it funny, or they won't.

Just one more definition.

If people do not find it "funny," it probably no longer reaches the definition of "comedy."

So....my advice.....

If you are going to make a rape joke, do not be not funny. If you are going to make a rape joke, in fact, I sugest being either Richard Pryor or George Carlin.

After those two names, it is probably a bad idea.

Thank you. Don't forget to tip your waiters.

[brianforster]

Just one more definition.

If people do not find it "funny' date='" it probably no longer reaches the definition of "comedy."

So....my advice.....

If you are going to make a rape joke, do not be not funny. If you are going to make a rape joke, in fact, I sugest being either Richard Pryor or George Carlin.

After those two names, it is probably a bad idea.

Thank you. Don't forget to tip your waiters.[/quote']

Did I say that when I read it I let out a hearty guffaw? No, I said I grinned. Obviously he is not an expert comedian, I was just talking in generals.

"Only when they say no" is right up there with "It's not rape, its surprise sex". Obviously some people are gonna find it offensive and insulting, just like some people find racial comedy insulting. I felt the need to speak because in a long thread such as this one line should not cause so much stir.

Like I said, lighten up. :nana:

[ljs]

Gotcha. I thought she was giving me a hard time about me laughing at Lax's roommate watching him do it.

haha, now that WAS funny.

[ljs]

Anyone who gets their feelings hurt over a joke is up tight to me.. One of the greatest parts about comedy is that you can say whatever you want. People will find it funny, or they won't.

Are you telling me that you have never laughed at a joke that may be offensive?

Get over yourself, nobody is condoning sexual assault.

How about this, we'll have some guy force you down on the ground, shove his dick in your ass, then we can all makes jokes about it. I'm sure you'll be laughing.

[Zguy28]

Why is there this tough distinction between harrassment and assault?

Here is the difference.

If you can be fired for it' date=' it is likely harrassment.

If you can go to jail for it, it is assault.

Comments - unless they are threatening - are harrasment.

Any unlawful touching.

ANY...unlawful (which is to say unwanted) touching.

Is assault.[/quote']Please don't misunderstand me, I take this very seriously. I just was curious as to what he was referring to since "sexual assault" is a broad term encompassing rape, molestation, etc.

[brianforster]

How about this, we'll have some guy force you down on the ground, shove his dick in your ass, then we can all makes jokes about it. I'm sure you'll be laughing.

But what if I was asking for it by dressing slutty?

edit: The only thing I have actually laughed at in this thread is how personal people can take things posted on an internet message board. Like I said and will continue to say, nobody is condoning sexual assault.

Oh yeah, just so I can possibly offend someone else who likes to take themselves too seriously, remember folks, arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics, even if you win you're still retarded.

[RedskinFeathers]

I was raped in the tenth grade...I wasn't drunk, I didn't put myself in a stupid situation...it just happened. Telling my parents was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My parents cried, my sister cried, and my brother cried. And I really thought my brother and dad were going to hunt down the guy and kill him. A lot of girls don't report it because they don't want to put their family through that. It's one of the most emotionally difficult things for a family to go through.

It's obviously not a girls fault if she gets raped - no man (or woman) should ever take advantage of anyone if they say no - regardless if she's had a couple drinks and stumbles into a guys room - yes it's dumb on her part but that doesn't mean it's okay if she says no. But then it gets complicated when she's so drunk that she actually says yes, but if she was sober she wouldn't have. Is that rape? Maybe. Maybe she shouldn't drink so much. Maybe she should hang out with nicer guys. Maybe the guy should have respected her more and not been an *******. Maybe maybe maybe.

That being said, I realllly can't stand it when girls regret hooking up with some one so they say they were raped. That's one of the most disgusting things a person could do. And it complicates things because drunk girls who really do get raped are afraid that if they say they were raped - people will just tell them they were drunk and they just regret it or that they actually wanted it...it happens. Drinking really complicates the entire thing.

People are disgusting. Rape happens a lot more than it's reported. I went to support groups and such and a lot of the girls had so many sad stories about friends who never reported it - it's one of those things that will make you feel ashamed and embarrassed even though you shouldn't. But a lot of girls do.

/end of most serious thing I've probably ever posted on here...and I really don't want to go into more detail about what happened to me, I just wanted to offer my 2 cents.