Jessica Simpson has an average face -- Cowboys blog -- 14-10 bad guys

[Art]

Here I am at my requisite one home game.

Before I start a couple things.

1. Portis is going to try -- unconfirmed but looks good.

2. Dallas busses got here only about 20 or so minutes ago. They are late. Only now are the first guys showing up on the field.

3. Springs is out.

2 p.m. Sunday -- Murphy never answers his phone. I call Pappas to get e-mailed instructions to the press lot and tailgate. Pappas delivers.

3:30 p.m. -- Heading out to the game. Exit 17A to the old Landover Mall as Pappas instructs, but, there's no where to go from here. I turn at the Ruby Tuesday thinking it must be the mall. Traffic folks have no idea where I'm looking. Call Murph and get the instructions that Pappas MEANT 17B. Find the press lot, near the Sears. It's the media/employee lot and there are NO people after the gate for about a quarter mile of driving. You inform them you're with the media and need to park near the shuttles, but, they don't listen and wind up parking me a LONG way away. I've learned my lesson.

4:15 p.m. -- In line for the shuttles. Five shuttles long to get to where I am. Dropped off and work my way in. Find a spot with internet connection. Interestingly I'm about 5 feet behind JLC, which has to be on purpose as our normal seats aren't this close. Someone must know I am coming and will repeat all the highly professional conversations Jason has in the box.

4:30 p.m. -- Starting those highly professional conversations, those to model yourself after, Jason informs those near him that Jessica Simpson has a great body but only average face. Jason Reid, I think, tries to council Jason that he has awfully high standards, but JLa is undeterred, suggesting because she puts herself out there as a hottie she should be hotter. Now I will borrow from an old Triumph the insult comic dog line and say Jason making negative critique of anyone's appearance is like vomit telling poop it stinks. To his credit only one f-bomb, so maybe he's trying.

4:50 p.m. -- Message Murf who's at the tailgate. Get pressured to show up to meet his wife, who I've only met during our numerous phone and cyber sessions (I only say that cause Murf can't disprove it and his wife didn't deny it, so it's glorious). So I go out and discover quickly none of those directing cars at FedEx know where any other lot is. I take far longer to arrive than is appropriate.

5:20 p.m. -- In the ES tailgate. Get a hug from Huly who gives me a yellow ES hat, which is later stolen by someone who's not on the board because she can't think of a name. We decide on hatstealer, who correctly identifies I have great teeth and who I'm pretty sure was digging on the Art, but, given I'm married, I usually think that of every woman I am not allowed to touch. Pez gives me the famous wings -- quite good. I get to chat with a lot of the crew. Some I remember, some I don't. Legion, HoF44, skinsfan44, iontop (who I've now banned because he asked me not to), Georgia, Sweet Sassy, Capt Chaos (kaos?), many more. I feel bad having to turn down drinks, but maybe after. I suspect the team would be unkind to me if they had reports of me drunk in the parking lot. I'm not that much of a rebel. But, I do accept a pig's nose from Huly, which I'm determined, at some point, to wear in the box. It's nice seeing so many of those I've only known from the board or my other tailgate. One game I'll get drunk again with the crew. Pappas and his wife arrive shortly after I get to give Murf's wife a big hug. Strangely both of them thank me for getting rid of their husbands so frequently.

7:10 p.m. -- Murphy tells me the blog can't exist if I don't mention that I've been in town since Friday and have been playing Gears of War 2 with a buddy for 20 hours. I don't get to play video games at home, and 20 hours in two days is why . But, I was Dom and I got quite proficient with the saw and thought the locust queen was smoking hot.

7:25 p.m. -- A few Cowboys come out in uniform. Crowd is still pretty thin but we boo dutifully. ARE, Thrash, Rock, Thomas and Suisham come out for us. Crowd dutifully cheers.

7:45 p.m. -- Run in to Rich Tandler of CPND. Chat a bit about football and make small talk. Teams are all out in full warming up. Portis looks solid. Ran a little slant and a lot of flair routes. No ill effects. Skins are running a ton of split backfield looks in warmups. Maybe this is normal and I've missed it. But they normally run plays they run in the game. A lot of I or offset I or whatever. Here they have run 10 or so with a split backfield. Once with ARE and Portis. Once with Rock and Sellers. Cooley and Alexander. Lots of looks.

7:53 p.m. -- Skins coming off the field. Redskins fans with towels waving. Crowd is still not packed yet, but swelling. I can only see the lower bowl where I'm at.

8:00 p.m. -- Pregame ceremony for Monk and Green. Fans very appreciative, waving their towels. Football Night in America shows none of this of course, but they show a LOT of highlights from the Steelers and Chargers.

8:13 p.m. -- Cowboys come out as a team, save for the punter, long snapper and kicker, who never have left the field and were out kicking. Likely because they were so late they didn't get their early kicks in before the team got in.

8:15 p.m. -- Cheerleaders come out, sassily dressed for the cold and lining the helmet tunnel run. Who will carry out the flag? Moss was scheduled to when they thought Portis was out, sayeth the Murf. So, with Portis back, who will it be. Lower bowl looks full. Towels are out. I think our towels are tacky as we're copying Pittsburgh, just like I think the Eagles fight song is tacky for copying us. But, hey, I don't make these decisions.

8:17 p.m. -- Football Night playing their lead in. As it ends, fireworks and team entry. Moss does not carry in the flag. Worst job for the pregame is the eight people doing goofy circles with a big Skins flag, but they stop before Randy Thomas comes in. Portis gets the flag. We've played like garbage for two national games. Let's hope this is different.

8:20 p.m. -- Redskins and Cowboys meet as captains at midfield. There are, literally, 12 effing guys out there. There should be a MAX of THREE captains, and probably only two. Ludicrous. Owens is out there for Dallas. Right. Cause he's the captain type. Gears of War commercial on NBC now. I only know cause I kicked most butt in it the previous two days.

8:22 p.m. -- Kickoff team lining up to the Boys. Crowd loving the, "Hey, you suck," song. Romo sits to pee in the game totally, being interviewed on the field.

8:24 -- p.m. Kickoff finally. Nice coverage. Romo sits to pee gets to show how his pinky is, in chilly weather. He does have nice numbers. Dump off on first. Hall on Owens on the second play, fumble. Big third. Nice to get a quick stop. Time out Dallas. Hall on Owens may be a reflection the Skins think Williams is better, but, Rogers was on Austin on second down. Third down play, lots of room wide, but Smoot sticks his head in and stones Barber. The Redskins do a great job on Barber. We don't let him run through us. Nice first series.

Skins first drive -- Short punt, face mask. Gotta love it. Bomb on first. Damn. Tipped come back. Portis with a nice run, showing good speed. Good. Moss schools Newman. Better. If he gets out in front of Moss it can go a while. Portis running with power. He certainly looks great so far. Nice to have him this limited . Uh. Rabach isolated and crushed. Playing it safe on second. Maybe too safe. But since we haven't pass blocked well in two games, might as well. Sellers seen on offense. Fourth and 1. Going for it. GETTING IT. Zorn has balls mas grande. We're up 3-0 now with Gibbs. And Sellers for the TD. Dallas had it sniffed. But Campbell waits and gets it in. Sellers hasn't been seen all year. Nice to know he's more than a blocker tonight. 7-0 good guys.

Dallas the second -- Smoot getting the crowd fired up coming out of commercial. Single high safety, but Horton drops off. Smoot assaults Owens. Beautiful. Crowd in the game. Helping. Every yard we set these guys back is critical. Big press coverage on the edge against Owens even in the slot before that penalty. Nice motion by the Cowboys against our man to create lots of space on the edge. That's well designed on second. Smoot is flying around like a maniac though. Third down. Hall on Owens, press. Rogers on Austin. Smoot on Williams. Perfect corner to Austin. Damn. One second on the play clock when we call time out. Damn. First down. Late pressure, good coverage. Dump off. Cowboys with the double reverse. Looks to have us on the edge of breaking on a few of these, but we're hanging it in there. Third down. Dump off, first. Growl. Cowboys are getting guys in space with room to move right now. They have us confused and are creating a lot of mismatches and space. Even on the second to Austin, he's too open. Lots of crosses and action on their plays. They are testing our discipline right now. HALL with the INT on a terrible pass to an open Owens. He caught it too. Crazy.

Skins after the INT -- Dodged a bullet. Cowboys seriously are doing a lot of things on offense to create space and it's working. Not sure they can do that all game though as eventually if you have NO power element to your offense, you will get steamrolled. Skins with misdirection for a short gain to Cooley. Also opened up initially but closed fast. Empty backfield on third. Time, but nothing to hit. Would have been nice to get some distance.

Cowboys -- Whew. Big play by Barber but a hold. Washington limps off after that play. Third and 10. Out to Owens purely on timing as ball was thrown so early as to be impossible to catch. Three series, two punts. One interception. Not bad considering watching it from here looks like the Cowboys are on the verge of breaking a big play more than half the time. We've got to tighten some of that up, but going well.

Skins the third -- First down, no where to go. Offset back and Portis quickly released. We aren't afraid to get men in the routes. Portis on second, but not much. Third a screen, we cheat, still can't get a first. Ugly. We're ahead. That's good. Thinking positive .

Cowboys fourth -- Another pitch to the edge. They are attacking us where we don't usually get attacked. And it's working. Slant to Williams and we hang on, but if he gets free there he's gone. Pitch left and it works. They saw something and are waiting on us to adjust. Instead, we adjusted the hell out of Owens, who we crush and Rocky steps up. They have a simple plan. Attack inside with their passes keeping us tight and outside with the run and eventually break something when we guess wrong. But that's twice the inside hasn't paid off for them in this game. I'd say they are well prepared for us tonight, but we have better playmakers so far.

Skins fourth -- We need to give the defense a rest and get some space to set the Cowboys off schedule. Pass, run, pass is how we've been playing. And it's how we start out. But pass on second. That's a change up. That's a first down. Running game slowing down since the first drive. Play action on second but the Cowboys have it snuffed. Empty backfield and DESIGNED draw. Hella call and Campbell dominating. That play is huge. This next play will be a good gain. That fires a team up. So-so, but that is a huge, monster play by Campbell. Third and 6. Damn. Twelve in the huddle. Third and 11. And then a time out. Sheesh. That's a terrible set of plays. Then a sack. Damn. Ugly way to end a promising drive. And then they bonk an easy play to get them down low. That series can come back to haunt you. Then we challenge stupidly. Seriously, that is as horrendous a string of plays and decisions as you'll ever see.

Dallas for the fifth time -- I have a very disgusting feeling in the belly right now. Please hold them off and make this bad stretch go away. One-yarder to Owens. Thank you. Another pitch still makes good yards. But brings up a third and five. Come on crowd. Williams makes it against Smootie. Lorenzo Alexander gets great pressure, but Barber open again for the dump and good first down gain. Cowboys design another great play getting Witten open against Blades with no one else on that side of the field. They are doing a good job of using our man defense against us right now. We may have to drop a few zone calls in, but, it is almost half and they haven't scored, so it's not like it's not working at all. Owens now across the middle. Cowboys are able to dial up almost anything they want now. And TD. Bleh. The bad taste needs to get washed out immediately. 7-7.

Skins after the Rock -- That helps. Something had to go good again. Rock got it good again. Empty backfield. First down. Lots of time. Take your time.

Dangerous throw away there. You can still attack the middle. Instead to Portis who rolls out of bounds, but the official rolls the clock. We salvage points and take the halftime lead at 10-7. Thank goodness.

Halftime thoughts -- Dallas deserves some credit here as they are better prepared for us than we for them. They are running our man coverage off and attacking the void behind it in the running game and with passes. We got two turnovers keeping us not only in the game, but now ahead. Still, they have us confused and are holding us pretty well on both sides of the ball. We have made the three biggest plays with the two interceptions and one kickoff return. We need to be able to sustain against this defense and limit their offense in the second half but that will require adjustments. You may have to be willing to back off of the man pressure defense some to create positive plays where you are in zone and they run right in to you.

Zorn continues to be brave and get a ton of guys in the routes. He's not afraid of the blitz for sure and the Cowboys have only generated real pressure a couple of times, but one of them was very helpful. Blache continues to impress me by his willingness to play so aggressively on the outside and take real chances. For the first time in games we've done that the Cowboys are starting to get the better of us. They did a LITTLE after halftime of the first game too. Now it's our turn to have the better adjustments and see what good coaching can do for us. That fourth series irritates me though

Second half -- Ack. Rock with the bonk. Portis with no where to go. Cooley with a little room giving us a third we can make. Now make it. Quick in to Thomas. Nice. Good coverage, but needed that play. Portis rocked as he was falling down anyway. Running game has shrunk up. Self-imposed shrinkage in the passing game. third down. Moss in the backfield, now empty. Backside screen to Cooley who is money. Another big third. We're playing pretty close to the vest, but, that's two firsts and time. Here's your first split backfield, but, a reverse pass, UGLY. WR screen to Thomas. Nothing. Portis out on third, walking a little slowly. Dump to Betts under pressure, wide open. That's why you put so many in the routes. Nothing going for Portis. Three first downs. Good time of possession. Portis has a little hitch now in his step walking off. Cooley mans his way closer to a first. Quick out to Moss, but Newman undercuts it nicely. Their first huge play.

Cowboys first in Q3 -- Cowboys with an inside run. Doesn't work as well as their pitches. Owens drops the second down pass. Smoot in coverage. Smoot again on third and gets burned, but bad formation by the Cowboys. That hurts. False start negates a fourth down. I kind of like it anyway. Third and way long. Steelers went timing on this. Will we stay aggressive or come off in zone. Big stunt up front. No where to go.

Our second - First drive was heavy on short stuff. All game has been really. 16 completions for like 113 yards. Not good enough. Need to get something loosened up a bit. That was nice. By design a deep throw. Portis gets clear, finally. First down Campbell gets dumped. Screen to Moss tipped. Newman feeling his oats. Ratliff feeling his too as he whips Thomas. Suisham WAY short. Damn. Every time you think you can put a kill shot on them, they keep in it and keep us on the edge. It's a good game for suspense at least.

Cowboys second -- Pitch play finally gets stuffed. First time tonight. Short gainer on second. Big third. We sustained that first drive with big third conversions. Can the Cowboys. Nope. Skins hold again. GREAT game for suspense.

Skins third -- Hey, another dumb penalty. Who'd a thought. Negates a big run and puts us back further. Nice defense on the second first down play, knocked down. ARE on the sideline. We need Thrash and Thomas now. Portis banked up. Now Betts banged up. Hell. Huge third down play if we can convert. But we can't.

Dallas third -- Skins punt team huddled up down at the 20 yard line off to the side. Crayton respects the leg as he's back at the 25. Could use a big kick here. One wide receiver and they still get too much space with the dump off. Lots of 7-yarders on first for the Cowboys today. Up the gut works for the Pokes. They haven't gone up the middle much in the run game. Barber running strong there. Cowboys moving in to range to tie now. Another first. Could use a sack here. Something to set them back. Giants style run there, but doesn't work well. Witten open, but, Smoot closing from the front. Drops. Biggest play of the game so far. Romo sits to pee sneaks in another first and they are easily in field goal. Spanish announcers can be heard shouting after that touchdown. 14-10.

Skins response -- BOMB. MOSS....miss. Sigh. Portis with a hard run for the first, but he's limping again. Alexander stoned. Portis back in. This is confusing . Empty backfield triggers blitz, but we come through. Almost broke it. Another first. Portis hopping along and gets blasted as the Skins were snapping the ball at 1 on the playclock. Quick outside to Thomas to give a good third down option. Thomas drops it. Fourth down. Too far for field goal. Too close for punt. Going for it. Not getting it.

Dallas with their first chance to go for kill -- Dallas can score a touchdown here and make our chances very slim. The defense and crowd have to have one big series in them. Cowboys in their three men in the backfield, run up the middle play and it gets 5. Barber on the delay for a first. Just what they needed. Barber stopped, but gets the edge and 8. Kill shot down. But they are in a grinding mood. Still with a ton of action. Barber finally stopped on first. Clock is the enemy. Now have to hold them to a field goal or LESS. Come on crowd. Come on defense. One more big play. Please. Second down pitch, we slam outside and shut it down. Third down. 2:49 left. Cowboys will be in an interesting position. If they make it they are close to winning the game without needing to score. If they miss it, we have forever and maybe they go for it rather than kick. And that's probably it. Going to head down now.

Post-game -- Got down in time to see the Pokes make another first down to seal it. Very frustrating to give back early season gains like this, but, that's what happens when you can't score. Zorn doesn't exactly play it close to the vest as he does get tons of bodies in routes, but, we are not at all explosive and when we lack efficiency we're in trouble. If we're on schedule we're fine. The slightest negative tends to set us back to a point we can't do anything at all.

Defense can get worn down and Barber seemed to start to do that late as the Cowboys really gave it to him. In the end, though, I simply hate talking after a loss so I don't do much of it. The Redskins have to regain that early edge and fight through the adjustments teams are making for them. Seattle has to start that.

MORE TO COME

[skinzzfan25]

Thanks for the update!

So Springs is confirmed out??

[Zen-like Todd]

Jessica Simpson has an average face -- Cowboys blog -- First update.

You looked up? Why?

[Hitman#21]

ye he is that stinks, hopefully hell be back next week.

[KingGibbs]

What about the body Art? No, not yours.

[bubba9497]

If she hadn't been spoiled by Romo sits to pee (poke cooties)

I'd pounce Jessica Simpson in a heartbeat

[RenegadeTK]

id say her face is above average... but id still deal with it if it was...

[Thirtyfive2seven]

OMG I want Jessica Simpson. Sigh.

[GoCommiesGo]

I was unaware Jessica Simpson had a face...

[skinsfan07]

OMG I want Jessica Simpson. Sigh.

lol. Don't we all.

[KingGibbs]

id say her face is above average... but id still deal with it if it was...

She looks like a total slut in that picture.

I like it.

[TK]

What about the body Art?

Body art?

Fitting she has a tramp stamp.

[corrupt3d]

If that's average, what's above average?!

[mriedel]

looks like a great face for a money shot!

[RenegadeTK]

speaking of jessica, hopefully she is at the game. right next to santana, i'd say she's our second best weapon against them

[HailGreen28]

id say her face is above average... but id still deal with it if it was...

What face? :whoknows:

[Art]

Context of the blog title now up.

[bubba9497]

Jessica Simpson -- tailgate

a joke is in there somewhere

[zoony]

4:15 p.m. -- In line for the shuttles. Five shuttles long to get to where I am. Dropped off and work my way in. Find a spot with internet connection. Interestingly I'm about 5 feet behind JLC, which has to be on purpose as our normal seats aren't this close. Someone must know I am coming and will repeat all the highly professional conversations Jason has in the box.

4:30 p.m. -- Starting those highly professional conversations, those to model yourself after, Jason informs those near him that Jessica Simpson has a great body but only average face. Jason Reid, I think, tries to council Jason that he has awfully high standards, but JLa is undeterred, suggesting because she puts herself out there as a hottie she should be hotter. Now I will borrow from an old Triumph the insult comic dog line and say Jason making negative critique of anyone's appearance is like vomit telling poop it stinks. To his credit only one f-bomb, so maybe he's trying.

oooh goody! :rubs hands together:

:munchout:

[KingGibbs]

Hey Art. Try to have a convo with JLC and let us know wat kind of guy he is. Honest answer.

[Art]

Hey Art. Try to have a convo with JLC and let us know wat kind of guy he is. Honest answer.

I typically say hello to Jason and have had conversations in the past with him, but he revealed himself to be a bit of a lying weasel in the past, so I would anticipate he'd be fine to talk with until he later fibs about what you talked about or what happened. Given he knows I think that way of him he rarely engages in a conversation since I called him on his lies some time back.

[KingGibbs]

I typically say hello to Jason and have had conversations in the past with him, but he revealed himself to be a bit of a lying weasel in the past, so I would anticipate he'd be fine to talk with until he later fibs about what you talked about or what happened. Given he knows I think that way of him he rarely engages in a conversation since I called him on his lies some time back.

He probably lies about his height to.:laugh:

[HapHaszard]

I was unaware Jessica Simpson had a face...

She does, MissHap told me so.

[beachwoodskinfan]

lol. Don't we all.

even after being with HOMO??????/ no thanks ill just spank it j/k:dallasuck:dallasuck:dallasuck:dallasuck

[HapHaszard]

Thanks for being there Art, I enjoy your reporting.