Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 So last night I told my girlfriend I loved her. We've been going out for about 5 months, and things have been going really well, and I meant it. I was pretty sure she felt the same way, but my feelings were not reciprocated. So, I asked her whether she would ever feel that way, and she said, "I might." I don't really know where to go from here. I'm not feeling that horrible, and I think we are really good together (obviously), but I don't want to continue this if she's not going to feel the same way. Do you guys have any advice? Should I wait it out? For how long? Should I break up with her? Should I act like I never brought it up? I'm very confused about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Is she a philly fan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Is she a philly fan? Hahaha she is, but I've been trying to convert her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 She is looking, or has someone ( or several others) else. Sorry Bro. Prove your worth or move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hahaha she is, but I've been trying to convert her. I think deep down you already know the answer then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 She is looking, or has someone ( or several others) else. Sorry Bro. Prove your worth or move on. I seriously doubt this. We've spent almost everyday together for the past 5 months, and she's very introverted. I know it sounds like denial, but I'd be more of the type of person to do this than she would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wait it out for a little while. Women have to think about their feelings and that takes for ****ing ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buenosdiaz Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 5 months to say i love you? damn...maybe i'm weird i didnt even read your post passed that my advice: dump her if it dont feel right it aint right and if you have doubt theres good reason for it and odds are you wont get over it that easy unless you want to also are you touchdown redskins in our keeper league? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KDawg Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I don't think you can quite say that, Kosher. Some chicks are afraid of the "L" word. She may feel what he feels, but she just doesn't want to let it loose yet because she's scared. I'd see where it goes for a bit. Give it a couple more months if things stay good and see what happens. I certainly wouldn't jump to conclusions about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Bay Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Ok, my advice probably goes against the norm, but I'll give it anyhow as it did me well. I will preface this by saying, it depends on what you want in a relationship. If you just want someone to 'pal around with' then this isn't necessarily for you. But if you are in this for the long haul, then ok. If you are 'ready to settle down' then you need to know that deep down. If you are, then anything on a lighter note on her end would probably be a waste of time and lead to frustrations for both of you. At a certain point in the relationship, you need to discuss where you see things going. If it doesn't line up, then perhaps it's not meant to be. Now that this declaration has been made, I think it'd be wise to figure out where she does stand. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's a bad sign, IMO. I think you should know yourself and trust yourself enough to be able to talk about more meaningful stuff such as marriage without panicing and immediately assuming that once the 'M' word slips out that it's a definite. The only way to know where things are going is to talk about it. Hoping that it will just go won't work. From what little I've gathered here, you seem open for deeper discussions, but if she's not then I dunno. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wait it out for a little while. Women have to think about their feelings and that takes for ****ing ever. Yeah that's a good point. In the past she has taken her time with revealing things, and she tends to be private about some things. 5 months to say i love you? damn...maybe i'm weirdi didnt even read your post passed that my advice: dump her if it dont feel right it aint right and if you have doubt theres good reason for it and odds are you wont get over it that easy unless you want to also are you touchdown redskins in our keeper league? Well, I feel it's right, and it's not like she wants to break up with me. She said she wants to stay with me. And are you saying that's a short time or a long time? We're both in the same school, so we practically spend our entire day with each other. And yes, I am. We made that trade a couple weeks ago. I don't think you can quite say that, Kosher.Some chicks are afraid of the "L" word. She may feel what he feels, but she just doesn't want to let it loose yet because she's scared. I'd see where it goes for a bit. Give it a couple more months if things stay good and see what happens. I certainly wouldn't jump to conclusions about it. Yeah, good point. It's just that I have my pride, and I'm not going to sit around having these feelings if they're not going to be reciprocated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TLA_f7S0cw&feature=related Definitely NSFW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Ok, my advice probably goes against the norm, but I'll give it anyhow as it did me well.I will preface this by saying, it depends on what you want in a relationship. If you just want someone to 'pal around with' then this isn't necessarily for you. But if you are in this for the long haul, then ok. If you are 'ready to settle down' then you need to know that deep down. If you are, then anything on a lighter note on her end would probably be a waste of time and lead to frustrations for both of you. At a certain point in the relationship, you need to discuss where you see things going. If it doesn't line up, then perhaps it's not meant to be. Now that this declaration has been made, I think it'd be wise to figure out where she does stand. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's a bad sign, IMO. I think you should know yourself and trust yourself enough to be able to talk about more meaningful stuff such as marriage without panicing and immediately assuming that once the 'M' word slips out that it's a definite. The only way to know where things are going is to talk about it. Hoping that it will just go won't work. From what little I've gathered here, you seem open for deeper discussions, but if she's not then I dunno. Great advice man. I think she'd be open for deeper discussion, and I think we both want a long-term relationship out of this. As for where we see it going, we haven't discussed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KDawg Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Yeah, good point. It's just that I have my pride, and I'm not going to sit around having these feelings if they're not going to be reciprocated. Hah, me too! That said, I'd still wait it out if things are really as good as you say they are. If you get to a year and the word hasn't been dropped (a year is probably a bit too long, but probably a good gauge) then you need to start thinking about overreacting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Bay Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Then that's a start. I don't think you have to know everything by the end of one conversation. As long as you two are on the same page, then that's what matters. It's when you two aren't is when the trouble will arise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 dude, maybe she has issues with saying the word love. maybe she wants to make sure in her mind that you are always going to be there. maybe she is trying to control the situation and keep you on your toes. it doesnt sound like she has another dude but that she has a problem saying love. my advice is to just not say it again and continue on how you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hah, me too!That said, I'd still wait it out if things are really as good as you say they are. If you get to a year and the word hasn't been dropped (a year is probably a bit too long, but probably a good gauge) then you need to start thinking about overreacting. Hmmm, yeah I guess I could stand waiting a little bit. It's not like me or her are going anywhere for a couple years, and she treats me really well. I guess what I'm confused about is how long to wait. I need to talk to her to find out what she's thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TLA_f7S0cw&feature=relatedDefinitely NSFW. :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hmmm, yeah I guess I could stand waiting a little bit. It's not like me or her are going anywhere for a couple years, and she treats me really well. I guess what I'm confused about is how long to wait. I need to talk to her to find out what she's thinking. Do you have any other immediate prospects? If not, why not wait around for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I can't help you with this one but I can help you in the future. Never, ever be the first to say I love you. And never ever initiate the exclusivity "talk." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KDawg Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 If she makes you happy that's what matters my man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 dude, maybe she has issues with saying the word love. maybe she wants to make sure in her mind that you are always going to be there. maybe she is trying to control the situation and keep you on your toes. it doesnt sound like she has another dude but that she has a problem saying love. my advice is to just not say it again and continue on how you are. I agree with this TD Redskins. It sounds like she just wants to be sure before she commits to such a strong word. Just hang in there man and don't push the issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Then that's a start. I don't think you have to know everything by the end of one conversation. As long as you two are on the same page, then that's what matters. It's when you two aren't is when the trouble will arise. Yeah, it's definitely something we have to talk about and understand about one another. dude, maybe she has issues with saying the word love. maybe she wants to make sure in her mind that you are always going to be there. maybe she is trying to control the situation and keep you on your toes. it doesnt sound like she has another dude but that she has a problem saying love. my advice is to just not say it again and continue on how you are. You know what, you might be right. In the past, she's been private and had a hard time expressing her emotions (wow, I sound like Dr. Phil). She's been hurt very badly by someone whom she loved before, so maybe she just needs to be sure. I've hurt her in the past, too (I was dating her and someone else at the same time early in our relationship), so maybe she is trying to control things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 I can't help you with this one but I can help you in the future. Never, ever be the first to say I love you. And never ever initiate the exclusivity "talk." Haha, I actually wasn't going to say it, and I was going to wait, but last night I was quite inebriated and had some loose lips. I also was pretty damn sure she felt the same way, and it really caught me off guard when she didn't reciprocate. ---- In any case guys, thanks for all the advice. I think I'm going to have to talk to her tonight and see what she's thinking. Thanks for cooling me down! I'll let you know the status later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KDawg Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 You know what, you might be right. In the past, she's been private and had a hard time expressing her emotions (wow, I sound like Dr. Phil). She's been hurt very badly by someone whom she loved before, so maybe she just needs to be sure. I've hurt her in the past, too (I was dating her and someone else at the same time early in our relationship), so maybe she is trying to control things. dating two people at the same time at any point in the relationship is bound to make her not respond to the L word right away. I agree with BigMike here. It's a power play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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