buenosdiaz Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Well, I feel it's right, and it's not like she wants to break up with me. She said she wants to stay with me. And are you saying that's a short time or a long time? We're both in the same school, so we practically spend our entire day with each other. long time and yeah I've been there in the same college relationship boat and its one of the hardest relationships to be honest...you seriously spend more time with each other than a married couple. Anyways I think just wait it out...i was joking in the beginning about breaking up...props for being the one to break out the L word too haha i know thats always tough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Give her time...don't bring it up again and I guarantee that within 2 weeks she'll say it to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 You know what, you might be right. In the past, she's been private and had a hard time expressing her emotions (wow, I sound like Dr. Phil). She's been hurt very badly by someone whom she loved before, so maybe she just needs to be sure. I've hurt her in the past, too (I was dating her and someone else at the same time early in our relationship), so maybe she is trying to control things. if anything I would be happy that she was trying to be sure she loved you instead of saying it and not meaning it 100%. she doesnt want to hurt you or not be true to herself and her feelings. next time you 2 are together just put the blade against her neck enough to draw a slight bit of blood and look her in the eyes and say "i love you". that should seal the deal. http://www.evilmilk.com/pictures/Not_Sure_If_Serious.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetSkins Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 shes screwing someone else, move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirk Diggler Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 In any case guys, thanks for all the advice. I think I'm going to have to talk to her tonight and see what she's thinking. Thanks for cooling me down! I'll let you know the status later on. I'm in the camp that you should just drop the whole thing and pretend that it never happened. The fact that you were drunk works for and against you. She might have felt that it was just drunk talk and that's why she didn't reciprocate. Or she might just not be feeling it (yet). Either way, I'd drop it. If you start to act like your whole existence is in the balance of hearing that one word, she will get really turned off. Play it cool, be unaffected, and just get back to having fun. It takes guts and discipline but you will be happy with the results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Give her time...don't bring it up again and I guarantee that within 2 weeks she'll say it to you. Wait, are you saying that I shouldn't even talk to her about it? Like, see where the relationship is headed or anything like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 So last night I told my girlfriend I loved her. We've been going out for about 5 months, and things have been going really well, and I meant it. I was pretty sure she felt the same way, but my feelings were not reciprocated.So, I asked her whether she would ever feel that way, and she said, "I might." I don't really know where to go from here. I'm not feeling that horrible, and I think we are really good together (obviously), but I don't want to continue this if she's not going to feel the same way. Do you guys have any advice? Should I wait it out? For how long? Should I break up with her? Should I act like I never brought it up? I'm very confused about this. What did she say when you told her you loved her? Did she seem unmoved or uncaring about it? If so chances are she'll probably never feel the same way as you do.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wait, are you saying that I shouldn't even talk to her about it? Like, see where the relationship is headed or anything like that? To go along with his advice, I'd say no, don't even bring it up for about a week or two. Put it out of your mind and just enjoy the ride. See what happens. If after 2 weeks nothing has changed, then you can push the issue knowing that you've given her plenty of time and space to consider her feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 What did she say when you told her you loved her? Did she seem unmoved or uncaring about it? If so chances are she'll probably never feel the same way as you do.. No she seemed pretty caring. She said that she cared more for me than her past bf, whom she loved. She just said that she's grown up a bit from then. I honestly wish I could remember more, but I was pretty drunk. To go along with his advice, I'd say no, don't even bring it up for about a week or two. Put it out of your mind and just enjoy the ride. See what happens. If after 2 weeks nothing has changed, then you can push the issue knowing that you've given her plenty of time and space to consider her feelings. Hmmm that seems about right. I guess if she wants to stay with me that's a good sign. I'll give it some time and see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 I'm in the camp that you should just drop the whole thing and pretend that it never happened. The fact that you were drunk works for and against you. She might have felt that it was just drunk talk and that's why she didn't reciprocate. Or she might just not be feeling it (yet). Either way, I'd drop it. If you start to act like your whole existence is in the balance of hearing that one word, she will get really turned off. Play it cool, be unaffected, and just get back to having fun. It takes guts and discipline but you will be happy with the results. Thanks man, that sounds like what I'm going to do. I have a tendency to push issues, but I think I'm going to have to show some discipline, like you said, and let her take her time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Yeah that's a good point. In the past she has taken her time with revealing things, and she tends to be private about some things.Well, I feel it's right, and it's not like she wants to break up with me. She said she wants to stay with me. And are you saying that's a short time or a long time? We're both in the same school, so we practically spend our entire day with each other. And yes, I am. We made that trade a couple weeks ago. Yeah, good point. It's just that I have my pride, and I'm not going to sit around having these feelings if they're not going to be reciprocated. Pride has no place in love.. The sooner you learn that the happier you'll be.. Trust me, there are some proud lonely mofo's out there... Ask my ex where pride got her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissance Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Give her time...don't bring it up again and I guarantee that within 2 weeks she'll say it to you. I agree with this. It may have seemed overwhelming to her, esp if you were really drunk. Give it some time, don't be awkward just be your regular self with her. If she feels the same she'll get to that point and let you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Pride has no place in love.. The sooner you learn that the happier you'll be.. Trust me, there are some proud lonely mofo's out there... Ask my ex where pride got her. Yeah that's true, but I have my limits. If she's not going to reciprocate those feelings ever, I don't see the point of being with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 dont go skipping over the knife to the throat either.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wait it out for a little while. Women have to think about their feelings and that takes for ****ing ever. winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wait, are you saying that I shouldn't even talk to her about it? Like, see where the relationship is headed or anything like that? You sound like a girl. Stop doing that or your relationship is dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandymac27 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: ROFLMAO. That was funny as hell. But to the OP, it seems she is really trying to figure out what her true feelings are. I personally would suggest waiting a bit. It sounds like she has a really hard time letting other people know how she feels about them. Maybe she is also afraid of getting hurt. Has she had crappy relationships preciously to yours? If so, this could be the case. Just talk to her and be as open and honest as you can, if you do this I think she will eventually open up. And in the mean while, just have a little patience. It sounds like she cares enough about you to make sure that she isn't just jumping into something b/c it sounds good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 You sound like a girl. Stop doing that or your relationship is dead. I never knew trying to understand the girl you're going out with made you a girl. Trust me, I'm more than enough of a beer-swilling, burping, farting, football-watching male, but this girl is special to me, and I'd like to clarify things. If that makes me a girl, guilty as charged. ROFLMAO. That was funny as hell.But to the OP, it seems she is really trying to figure out what her true feelings are. I personally would suggest waiting a bit. It sounds like she has a really hard time letting other people know how she feels about them. Maybe she is also afraid of getting hurt. Has she had crappy relationships preciously to yours? If so, this could be the case. Just talk to her and be as open and honest as you can, if you do this I think she will eventually open up. And in the mean while, just have a little patience. It sounds like she cares enough about you to make sure that she isn't just jumping into something b/c it sounds good. Yeah I think I'm going to have some patience, and if I think it's taking too long I'll talk to her then. She does care about me, but like you figured out, she does have trouble communicating at times, and I've hurt her before and she was hurt by someone else whom she loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I never knew trying to understand the girl you're going out with made you a girl. Trust me, I'm more than enough of a beer-swilling, burping, farting, football-watching male, but this girl is special to me, and I'd like to clarify things. If that makes me a girl, guilty as charged.Yeah I think I'm going to have some patience, and if I think it's taking too long I'll talk to her then. She does care about me, but like you figured out, she does have trouble communicating at times, and I've hurt her before and she was hurt by someone else whom she loved. I mean just to back off for a week or two. Still hang out with her, go on dates, do whatever you guys do...but don't bring up the L word for a while. I could be wrong, but I think the WORST thing you could do is say something like "So, have you given any more thought to what I said the other night" or something along those lines. She will come to you and, if after a couple weeks passes, she doesn't, then maybe it's appropriate to have a talk and figure out if she can ever give you what you're willing to give her. :2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianm23 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 So last night I told my girlfriend I loved her. We've been going out for about 5 months, and things have been going really well, and I meant it. I was pretty sure she felt the same way, but my feelings were not reciprocated.So, I asked her whether she would ever feel that way, and she said, "I might." I don't really know where to go from here. I'm not feeling that horrible, and I think we are really good together (obviously), but I don't want to continue this if she's not going to feel the same way. Do you guys have any advice? Should I wait it out? For how long? Should I break up with her? Should I act like I never brought it up? I'm very confused about this. I'm laughing at some of the advice given up here. Why would you ask a bunch of men that have absolutely no clue about women? Anyhow, I'll throw my .02 in since that seems to be the norm. 1) Why are you telling her you love her after 5 months? Chances are you really do not. You can't love somebody you don't know, and I doubt you know her after 5 months. 2) NEVER ask her if she feels the same way or if she'll ever feel the same way. My god man, don't ****ing do it. If anything, just explain that's how you feel and that you don't expect her to reciprocate it unless she means it. Don't talk about it, just say your piece and move on in your relationship if you so choose to. If not, move onto something else. You don't want to force or pressure somebody into loving you which is exactly what you do by asking questions regarding her feelings. Let her sort those feelings out by herself, not with your help. In time, she'll let you know either way. If you do pressure her into saying it (by talking about it), then chances are she might say it under pressure and not even mean it. Next thing you know, you have a girl cheating on you in a desperate means to get out of a lie you help create because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. I can pretty much say I'm damn near a pro when it comes to the psychology of dating. Called tons of reading, experimenting, and life experience. Hit me up with a PM and I'll throw some reading material your way to help you out my man. It'll deal with the psychology of why women date the bad boys, what turns them on/off, and what they look for in mates. (short and long) It's free too I might add. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky21 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 So, I asked her whether she would ever feel that way, and she said, "I might." Mistake # 1. You can't force the issue. I know it's tense when you say it for the first time but you gotta let love happen organically, if it happens at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianm23 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wait, are you saying that I shouldn't even talk to her about it? Like, see where the relationship is headed or anything like that? EXACTLY. I repeat this, and if you don't listen, you'll regret it. I'll bet my life on it. That's how ****ing sure I am bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 No she seemed pretty caring. She said that she cared more for me than her past bf, whom she loved. She just said that she's grown up a bit from then. I honestly wish I could remember more, but I was pretty drunk. Hmmm that seems about right. I guess if she wants to stay with me that's a good sign. I'll give it some time and see what happens. Ahh, the drunken love blurt. If you were drunk and she wasn't that may also be why she didn't feel comfortable talking to you about her feelings at that time. My advice...stay away from relationship conversations when you're drunk. Waiting it out seems like a good idea...however, she may then think that you only said it because you were drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Yeah that's true, but I have my limits. If she's not going to reciprocate those feelings ever, I don't see the point of being with her. That's all well and good.. But don't let you're pride push her into saying something she's not ready to say or unwilling to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandymac27 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I never knew trying to understand the girl you're going out with made you a girl. Trust me, I'm more than enough of a beer-swilling, burping, farting, football-watching male, but this girl is special to me, and I'd like to clarify things. If that makes me a girl, guilty as charged.Yeah I think I'm going to have some patience, and if I think it's taking too long I'll talk to her then. She does care about me, but like you figured out, she does have trouble communicating at times, and I've hurt her before and she was hurt by someone else whom she loved. This is more than likely the problem. Just give her time to trust you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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