Hubbs Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Before I get into this, I should add a disclaimer: I am by no means a Republican zealot (nor a Democrat one), and have generally found that 99% of the professors I've met in my first three years of college are politically moderate, and put a lot of effort into giving time to both sides of the spectrum. In fact, until this year, the only extremist I had encountered was on the Republican side of things. But I'm taking an extra course over the second half of the summer to wrap up some loose credits for my second major, and the professor I have is, without a doubt, bat**** insane. Everything - everything - is a Republican conspiracy. Oil prices. Elections. The media. Terrorism. The stock market. Nuclear power. Electric cars. The Republicans, according to her, meet in dark rooms to smoke cigars and mischeviously scheme to ruin every last part of America. Naturally, my first instinct for this class is to push as many of her buttons as possible for my own entertainment, but to do it in such a way as to avoid getting an instant F. I've already innocently lobbed a few pointed questions out there - "If the corporate media are all in bed with Republicans, why have they showered so much love on Obama?" "Can you explain why GM would make backroom deals with oil companies to keep its functional electric car design under wraps when it would obviously make much more money by simply selling the car?" - but I need to do more. The opportunity is too good to pass up. So I open the floor to you, ES, especially Sarge & Co. Give me good ways to make a crazy liberal professor's head explode. Bonus points if Ferris Bueller is somehow incorporated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Wear a flag pin everytime you go to class. Offer him one if he asks you about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVUforREDSKINS Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 If she is as biased as you claim then she shouldn't be teaching. What school do you go to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveFromYellowstone Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Yell at people that give each other the "terrorist fist bump" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVUforREDSKINS Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 The Republicans, according to her, meet in dark rooms to smoke cigars and mischeviously scheme to ruin every last part of America. Sort of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Talk about Global Warming. I had a liberal professor last semester too, it was alot of fun to push their buttons :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubbs Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 If he is as biased as you claim he shouldn't be teaching.What school do you go to? *shrug* There are bad apples in every bunch. Like I said, the first nutjob professor I ran into was way off the conservative end. Now I've found the yin to his yang. I'd rather not name the school right now, it'd be pretty easy to actually identify who this particular professor is if I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 say you are voting for Obama because he is black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ECU-ALUM Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Mention Karl Rove as much as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUSkinsFan Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Walk into class reading a book by Ann Coulter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ECU-ALUM Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Whenever you make a point open it with, "As Rush Limbaugh wisely says..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Say WWGWBD? in a quiet voice over and over again like your thinking when she asks you a question, and then answer. What Would George W Bush Do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckydevil Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Whenever you make a point open it with, "As Rush Limbaugh wisely says..." LOL, ECU-AlUM wins the thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Springfield Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Everything - everything - is a Republican conspiracy. Oil prices. Elections. The media. Terrorism. The stock market. Nuclear power. Electric cars. The Republicans, according to her, meet in dark rooms to smoke cigars and mischeviously scheme to ruin every last part of America. She's right about all of that stuff. You're an idiot if you don't see that.:laugh: :laugh: My idea... walk into the class wearing one of those "Obama is my slave" tee shirts. You'll definitely get some action out of that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.A.C.O.L.B. Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 I had a Sean Hannity acolyte for an English teacher once. I wrote a paper on why the Iraq War was ****ed. Did it in such a way that she had no choice but to give me an A. I know that bugged the **** out of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 So I open the floor to you, ES, especially Sarge & Co. Give me good ways to make a crazy liberal professor's head explode. Bonus points if Ferris Bueller is somehow incorporated. I've got three concepts for you..... TRUTH, JUSTICE (and unlike Superman Returns), THE AMERICAN WAY. Those should drive her insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 10) Ask her if you can get extra credit for showing her another surge that works. 9) Ask if she can explain the Korean Missile crisis one more time. When she asks what the hell you're talking about, simply say "You're welcome." 8) Tell her you're short on funds for the weekend, but you want to have a kegger with the guys anyway. See if she'll "redistribute some income." 7) Walk into class carrying on a conversation with another student. As you walk in, finish with, "I hate the fact that some people feel they need to fear monger in order to persuade the electorate to vote a certain way. Then when they get in office, they change laws unecessarily to put restrictions on the American people instead of actually attacking the problem." When she asks what you're talking about, say "global warming." 6) Write a paper detailing how JFK's plea to "ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country," unequivocally proves that in today's political climate, he most certainly would have been a republican. 5) Make a T-shirt that says, "Republicans: For the welfare of the State. Democrats: For the Welfare State." 4) Fill out a phony baseball scorecard. Make all kinds of marks all over it, just like you scored an actual game. At the bottom, circle the score, "Second Amendment 5, Fenty's Fascists 4." 3) Wear a huge cross necklace, and wear a T-shirt that says "...Nor prohibit the free exercise thereof." (Kneeling at your desk and praying aloud optional.) 2) Another T-shirt: "Hot high school teachers & Liberal professors: Both **** their students." AND THE #1 WAY TO ANNOY YOUR LIBERAL NUTJOB PROFESSOR: Wrap tinfoil around your hat and call it "A LID." (Anti-Liberal-Indoctrination Device) :point2sky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubbs Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 Good Lord, HH, you're overflowing with win today. Nicely done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Dial MSF for advice during a test then yell "SCOTT SAYS YOUR A COMMIE ****" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herrmag Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Whenever you make a point open it with, "As Rush Limbaugh wisely says..." Winner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Good Lord, HH, you're overflowing with win today. Nicely done. When boosting Reed Doughty or annoying liberals is the goal, I'm your man. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubbs Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 When boosting Reed Doughty or annoying liberals is the goal, I'm your man. :laugh: Yeah, I'm a Reed fan myself. He's the new Pat Fischer. There's only one thing about which I'd disagree with you - I enjoy annoying conservatives just as much as liberals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUSkinsFan Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 When boosting Reed Doughty or annoying liberals is the goal, I'm your man. :laugh:Do I need to break out The Colt Brennan Prayer again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Yeah, I'm a Reed fan myself. He's the new Pat Fischer. Wow. :applause: Do I need to break out The Colt Brennan Prayer again? Compared to Reed, Colt has no prayer. (BTW, why don't we sign some guys named "Dolphin," "Titan," or at least "Bill," while we're at it. Can't your boy show some damned loyalty?) :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubbs Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 (BTW, why don't we sign some guys named "Dolphin," "Titan," or at least "Bill," while we're at it. Can't your boy show some damned loyalty?) :mad: At least he's not "Dallas" Sartz. I could never fully get behind that guy... luckily, most of the people he tried to tackle could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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