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Jumbo's Third Annual Cowpie Poem/Haiku Festival (for bubba and tr1)


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I wasn't going to do this this year given the tone as I see it in the Stadium, but what the hell. Seeing the other guys still trying their best, lets do it. Put your **** Dallas poems/haikus right here. But only poems/haiku. Capiche? ;)


Dallas Fan Haiku



Naked in repose

Silvery silhouette girls

Adorn my mudflaps



A painful sadness

Can't fit Big Screen TV through

Double-wide's front door



Unemployment's out

Hey, maybe I can git on




Distant sirens scream

Dumb-ass Vern's been mowing with

Gasoline again



Flashlights pierce darkness

No nightcrawlers to be found

Guess we'll dig some frogs



Joyous, playful, bright

Trailer park girl rolls in puddle

Of old motor oil



Seeking solitude

Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for

Restraining order



Damn, in that tube-top

You make me almost forget

That you're my cousin



I curse the rainbow

Emblazoned upon his hood

Damn Jeff Gordon



Set the VCR

Dukes of Hazard Marathon

Starts at 9 o'clock



In Wal-Mart toy aisle

Wailing boy wants rasslin doll

Mama whups his ass



White noise, buzzing static

Call Earl; the satellite dish

Needs new descrambler



Sixty five dollars

And cyclone fence keeps me from

My El Camino



In early morning mist

Mama searches Circle K for

Moon Pies and Red Man



Grinning, he displays

The nine hundred beer cans that

Fill his pick-up bed

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I live in Dallas.

I see the silver and blue

It makes me so sick.

I choose to ignore

I put on my burgundy

I put on my gold

I see the people

They look at me with distain

But I do not care

I am a smart blonde

I know what I have to do

Hail to the Redskins!


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Redskins are burgundy,

Cowboys are blue.

Skins smell like roses,

Cowboys like pooh.


3-6-9, the Redskins dine,

On maggot lookin' Cowboys with the Swiss cheese line.

The line broke, the quarterback choked,

and thet buried Tony Romo sits to pee like a pig in a poke.

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Look at those big cones!

Nipples like a stack of dimes

Tuna needs the "Bro!"

Redneck Talent

With hands on her hips

my mamma says, "kiss my Grits!"

marlboro in her mouth

Crack Head Lullaby

On the football field

many rows of snow white lines

and no Mike Irvin

Tiny Dancer

Odd, you do not care

that TO spiked the football

on your silly star :)

Let me Count the Ways

Madden loves Brett Favre

Like some 'tuff actin nactin'

or Dr. Pepper

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For the Skins we cheer

For Dallas we see failure

Hail to the Redskins


Down with the Cowboys

They have no chance to win this

They should just stay home


We root for the Skins

To beat the evil cowboys

Our fans are the best


Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

just an fyi ^ :D

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I hate Al Qaeda

But if they played the Cowboys

I would root for them

(To the tune of Gilligan's Island...or Amazing Grace)


Sit right back and hear a tale,

Of the brokeback boys in blue,

They walked into our FedEx Field,

And thought they'd win, it's true.

But Joe Gibbs had a different plan,

For Redskin vic-tor-y,

And all the REAL Redskin fans,

You know we believed.

The game, it started getting rough,

And Brunell he was tossed,

But he got right back up again,

And said, "This game's not lost."

Brunell, he looked across the field,

And Moss he did not see,

Instead he threw to 80-something,

I think it was 83.

Now Thrash he took that ol' pigskin,

And chugged it up the field,

It felt just like that Monday night,

That was almost surreal.

Just like that fateful Monday night,

Thrash converted third and long,

Brunell ran like a 20-year old,

And led us in this song:

Hail to those mighty Redskins, lad,

A team so tried and true!

As a life long fan, I still believe,

And I hope you do to!

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