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Joke Thead: Deals with the Devil.


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Granted, but that feature only comes in an AMC Gremlin.

SOLD!! :laugh:

I wish I had the softest bed in the world.

Granted, your mattress is now stuffed with soft, warm, doggy dhiarreah. :puke:

I wish my new AMC Gremlin had hail to the redskins as the horn.

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SOLD!! :laugh:

Granted, your mattress is now stuffed with soft, warm, doggy dhiarreah. :puke:

I wish my new AMC Gremlin had hail to the redskins as the horn.

granted, but it only plays after the cowboys win the superbowl

i want the caps to win the stanley cup this year

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granted, but it only plays after the cowboys win the superbowl

i want the caps to win the stanley cup this year

Granted, but you're spending the month of June on a vacation to Southeast Asia that you won on The Price is Right, so you find out about it when you get back to the states...

I want a lifetime pass to the Playboy mansion

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Granted, but you're spending the month of June on a vacation to Southeast Asia that you won on The Price is Right, so you find out about it when you get back to the states...

I want a lifetime pass to the Playboy mansion

you realise the hockey season does not include the month of june, and that we're in july right now, right?

granted, but all the girls are gone and all that's left is Hef

i want a new car that has an engine strong enough to at least be ABLE to peel out. (my car is so slow before it reaches 3000 RPMs, and it takes too long to get there)

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granted, but all the girls are gone and all that's left is Hef

i want a new car that has an engine strong enough to at least be ABLE to peel out. (my car is so slow before it reaches 3000 RPMs, and it takes too long to get there)

Granted, you now drive a volkswagen jetta and people constantly question your sexual preference.

I wish my salary was doubled.

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Granted, you now drive a volkswagen jetta and people constantly question your sexual preference.

I wish my salary was doubled.

Granted - of course before your salary doubled you were fired from you current job and had to seek employment at your local McDonald's. You now make 10 dollars an hour.

I wish I knew where my lighter was so I could start setting off fireworks.

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Granted - of course before your salary doubled you were fired from you current job and had to seek employment at your local McDonald's. You now make 10 dollars an hour.

I wish I knew where my lighter was so I could start setting off fireworks.

granted. it's sitting next to your smashed bong.

i wish fireworks were every day.

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Granted - of course before your salary doubled you were fired from you current job and had to seek employment at your local McDonald's. You now make 10 dollars an hour.

I wish I knew where my lighter was so I could start setting off fireworks.

Granted, now you also know why you've been constipated.

I wish my in-laws weren't staying at my house for a week this month

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Granted, now you also know why you've been constipated.

I wish my in-laws weren't staying at my house for a week this month

Granted, but this only happens because Godzilla has suddenly appeared and smashed your house into pieces and eaten your car, and now you live in the sewer with a bunch of rats, gangmembers, mutant alligators...and your in-laws.

:)

I wish the NFL season would start already.

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Granted, but this only happens because Godzilla has suddenly appeared and smashed your house into pieces and eaten your car, and now you live in the sewer with a bunch of rats, gangmembers, mutant alligators...and your in-laws.

:)

I wish the NFL season would start already.

Granted...but you are officially a San Fransisco 49ers fan now :)

I wish Seinfeld was still on the air

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Granted...but you are officially a San Fransisco 49ers fan now :)

I wish Seinfeld was still on the air

Granted - it is still on the air. All repeats, all the time.

I wish Eddie Murphy never had kids, and was therefore still funny and Raw.

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Granted - it is still on the air. All repeats, all the time.

I wish Eddie Murphy never had kids, and was therefore still funny and Raw.

I meant new episodes :laugh: :doh:

Granted, Beverly Hills Cop 4 is in pre-production

I wish america made good cars again

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you realise the hockey season does not include the month of june, and that we're in july right now, right?

granted, but all the girls are gone and all that's left is Hef

i want a new car that has an engine strong enough to at least be ABLE to peel out. (my car is so slow before it reaches 3000 RPMs, and it takes too long to get there)

You realize that game 7 of the Stanely Cup Finals took place on June 19th, right?

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Granted, but that's because you've been laid off....

I wish the weather would be nice this weekend so I can go to the beach...

Granted - you're going to the beach in Iraq. Have fun. :ciao:

I wish PB could handle his liquor better and would stop ****ing.

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Granted - you're going to the beach in Iraq. Have fun. :ciao:

I wish PB could handle his liquor better and would stop ****ing.

Granted, im getting another drink.

I wish Rince would come up with a new joke thread instead of bumping an old stale one.

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