Dallsux Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I have to ask this question. You have two jokes one of which is incestual oral sex and the other is beastiality, and some how you think you have others that you think might be inapporpriate? what are they funny? :laugh: You have a point. Actually, they are more of the whorehouse variety & I don't want to offend any of our lady readers...at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradeTheBeal! Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Ten Ways To Tell If A West Virginian Has Been Working On A Computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out 7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba". 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter". This could be a thread in and of itself. There's got to be more than ten of these. 11. Homepage changed to Pittsnogle.com 12. Screensaver now a Toby Keith/Eminem/Britney Spears montage 13. E-mail flooded with offers for "free" Oxycontin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoEd Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Two brothers from WV, Bubba and Billybob, are returning home from rabbit hunting when they come across this beautiful woman who's car is broken down. They try to assist her in fixing the car but determine they need a part from in town but all the stores are closed for the night. They tell her she can stay at the house for the night and she accepts their generosity. After dinner they show her to her room and she settles in for the night. It's a hot summer night so she has to take some clothes off to get comfortable. Well, having the cool air blowing across her naked body she gets a little wound up and in need of some fulfillment. She goes into the boys room and climbs in bed with Bubba and asks him for sex. Bubba answers why sure ma'am. She says well here put this condom on so I don't get pregnant, and they do the deed. This womens insatiable so she climbs in bed with Billybob and asks him the same question with the same results, and by the way put this condom so I don't get pregnant. The next day the lady fixes her car and leaves. A week later the boys are out hunting again when Bubba stops Billybob and asks him, Billybob do you care if that woman get's pregnant? And Billybob says no. Bubba says good then I'm going to take this here condom off. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 13. E-mail flooded with offers for "free" Oxycontin so email chains are a stereotype now? who knew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoEd Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 :1stplace: editors note: rankings may change without notice. I used that same joke a co-worker from Alabama the other day, he didn't think it was too funny. I heard it from a guy who tried using it on me and I flipped it on him. I jumped up and was like hey ******* that's "F"d up my sister died when I was 7, I'll kick your ass! He was like dude I'm sorry man, I'm so sorry. Then I started laughing my ass off at him, I thought he was going to cry. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradeTheBeal! Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 so email chains are a stereotype now? who knew? I was reaching with that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 I was reaching with that one. :laugh: :laugh: you might have pulled a muscle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 At 9:00 pm the bedroom door swung open, and Jethro, out of breath and confused, entered his parents bedroom. "Jethro, wutt'na hail you doin here boy? Ain't you posin' to be on yur honeymoon?" "Whale Daddy, me'n Trudy was a gittin neckett, and fixin to pitch a little woo, win Trudy up'n toll me she wuz a virgin! So I juss up'n left. Did I do the right thang Daddy?" "Hail yes you did! If she wurnt good'nuff fer her own kin, she ain't good'nuff fer ar'n. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COOLhandsCOOLEY Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Ten Ways To Tell If A West Virginian Has Been Working On A Computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out 7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba". 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter". This right here is dang funny. DANG FUNNY I tell you! Keep telling these jokes fellas... It actually helps keep property cheap and beautiful!:dallasuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Best West Virginia Joke? I thought West Virginia was a joke! (get it? oh I kill myself :laugh: ) here is a long one: West Virginia State Residency Application Name: ________________ (last) (first) (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right CB Handle: _____________________ Occupation: (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Un-employed (_)Coal Miner Spouse's Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___ Mother's Name: _______________________ Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) ___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks ___ Number of refrigerators on front porch Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__ Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup: _________ Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_)The National Enquirer (_)The Globe (_)TV Guide (_)Soap Opera Digest (_)Gun World ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO How often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Holidays (_)Not Applicable Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)No teeth (_)N/A Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don't know (_)can't get there from here BUMPER STICKERS: ___ Eat more Possum ___ My other car is a piece of junk too ___ Honk if you love Jesus ___ If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin' ___ Red-man Chewing Tobacco Favorite Recreation: Check all that apply: ___ Square Dancin' ___ Possum Huntin' ___ Skinny Dippin' ___ Craw Daddin' ___ Gospel Singin' ___ 4-Wheelin' ___ Drankin' ___ Spittin' Backy ___ Bill Chip Trowin' ___ Honky Tonkin' ___ Noodlin' # of Dogs: ___ Type: ___ Blue Tick ___ Beagle ___ Black & Tan ___ Bird Dawg Cap Emblem: ___ John Deere ___ McCulloch Chain Saws ___ Budweiser ___ Vo-Tech ___ Skoal ___ Coors ___ NAPA ___ Smile if you're Not Wearing Underwear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 This right here is dang funny. DANG FUNNY I tell you!Keep telling these jokes fellas... It actually helps keep property cheap and beautiful!:dallasuck shepherdstown, 26, we probably have common friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumrunner6900 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Wow....no one has said it yet?? What is the state flower of WV? The satellite dish!!! Ha...haha...hahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
40Gut Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 What do you call 32 WV people in the same room ??................... A full set of teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjah Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 What does a tornado have in common with a West Virginia divorce? Someone's gonna lose a trailer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsForLife260 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 in WVU arent people really poor, just work in mines, hicks, and stupid in general? JK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I got banned last time I told my best WV joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Wild, Wonderful wet vagi...I mean...West Virginia!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 I got banned last time I told my best WV joke well, then, what are ya' waiting for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 guidelines:be creative. "you #### sheep." or "wv is nothing but rednecks." is unimaginative and not funny. in WVU arent people really poor, just work in mines, hicks, and stupid in general?JK :whippin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TK Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I got banned last time I told my best WV joke See. I told you I thought we outlawed them. But with in THIS thread, you're safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Two buddies Billy Bob and Bobby Joe from West Virginia are hunting. Billy Bob stumbles and drops his gun, and accidentally shoots Bobby Joe. Frantic, Billy Bob dials 911 on his cell phone. "911, what's your emergency?" "I done shot mah good friend Bobby Joe! I thinks he's dead!" Billy Bob said. "Okay," the operator responded, "The first thing I need for you to do is make sure he's dead." "Okay, hold on a second." Billy Bob said. The operator waited a few seconds and then heard BOOM from the other end of the phone, startling her. Just then Billy Bob got back on the phone and said: "Okay, he's dead. Now what?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 A teenage WV girl goes up to her daddy on a friday night and says "daddy daddy I need $20 to go to the movies with my friends." daddy smiles and says "you Know what to do" followed by boing, gag! gargle! "daddy why does your manly hydrolics smell like poop" daddy smiles again and says "that's because your brother needed $20 too" Know why it's nearly impossible to obtain a murder conviction in WV? there are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slateman Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 shepherdstown, 26, we probably have common friends. Friends? They're probably your exgirlfriend/cousins :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: j/k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsfan44 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 My Mom is from WV and so is most of her family, but I enjoy WV jokes like the rest of you. Here is a clean one for y'all. How do you tell if a girl from WV is a virgin??? She can run faster then her brothers. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mooney Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 How many West Virginians does it take to eat possum? 2......one to eat, one to watch for headlights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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