DeanCollins Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror admiring the size of your wiener and scratch your . Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed . Yell out to wife to ask where your clean socks are . Get dressed . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 So THAT is what I am missing because I am not married. Wow. :laugh: Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Pee. . :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I take exception with this. What's this stuff about washing hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhodatSkinsFan? Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 ha, ha, ha, ha You Sir..... are awarded 200 points for that!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 :laugh: Good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 i live with three guys. God help them if any of them try to shake their penis at me on their way to the shower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickfox45 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 i live with three guys. God help them if any of them try to shake their penis at me on their way to the shower. God help them indeed! :kungfu: funny stuff, nice job! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
footballhenry Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 haha, cracks me up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedskinPride27 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound. HAHAHA! I'm having lunch and saw that and nearly spit out my Pepsi. I really enjoyed that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 So THAT is what I am missing because I am not married.Wow. :laugh: Blondie That and two minutes of sex anytime you want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateCitySkin Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 that was hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Oldie but goodie... Thanks for posting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cadets08 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 It's funny because it's true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I'm dying over here, Dean!!! Classic!!! If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound. :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 i live with three guys. God help them if any of them try to shake their penis at me on their way to the shower. :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halter91 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 HAHAHA! I'm having lunch and saw that and nearly spit out my Pepsi.I really enjoyed that! I've seen this before and I laugh every freaking time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Punani2 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 "If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound." Wheew, glad I'm not the only one.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 "If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound."Wheew, glad I'm not the only one.... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdowwe Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Dead on....dead on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cycopath Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 thats a good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 woo woo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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