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(edited title) Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion To Help Fight War On Criticism


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  1. 1. Who was the steal of the draft in 1997?

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Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion To Help Fight War On Criticism

WASHINGTON, DC—Citing the need to safeguard "America's most vital institutions and politicians" against potentially devastating attacks, President Bush asked Congress to sign off Monday on a $30 billion funding package to help fight the ongoing War On Criticism.

"Sadly, the threat of criticism is still with us," Bush told members of Congress during a 2 p.m. televised address. "We thought we had defeated criticism with our successes in Afghanistan and Iraq. We thought we had struck at its very heart with the broad discretionary powers of the USA Patriot Act. And we thought that the ratings victory of Fox News, America's News Channel, might signal the beginning of a lasting peace with the media. Yet, despite all this, criticism abounds."

Critical activities, Bush noted, have not returned to pre-Sept. 11 levels, when well-organized, coordinated attacks on his administration were carried out on a near-daily basis. But in spite of the National Criticism Alert Level holding steady at yellow (elevated), administration officials warn of severe impending attacks.

"We've become too complacent," Attorney General John Ashcroft said. "We've grown accustomed to thinking of criticism as something that only happens to people in other political parties. But this administration needs this funding to counter a very real threat to its reputation."

Ashcroft said the Justice Department, working closely with the CIA and FBI, has identified more than 300 potential targets, ranging from the Bush Administration's inability to produce the weapons of mass destruction used to justify the war with Iraq to its deficit-ballooning fiscal policies.

"I doubt I could protect my ongoing Halliburton cronyism from critical strikes with just a few million dollars—especially if it was not accompanied by powerful preemptive legislation," Vice-President Dick Cheney said. "We need to build stronger anti-criticism defense shields in this country. And the time to act is now, before the media say something negative about us."

If the funding is approved, the Bush Administration will act swiftly to shore up numerous areas of vulnerability. Among the actions: ensuring that the White House is defended against verbal snipers, safeguarding the president's past illicit actions from biographical weapons, and sealing off the largest sources of domestic criticism by securing and patrolling the nation's newsrooms.

Congressional leaders are already pledging their support for the plan.

"As government officials, we have an absolute obligation to protect the leader of this country from future acts of criticism," U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. "And it will not be cheap, easy, or quick."

"We're all in this together," Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert said. "You attack one American politician, you attack us all."

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Originally posted by skull1669

Man you guys ban people that don't have the same views? Wow now I see why we are at war and losing the battle!

It's not your views. Opposing views are welcome and encouraged.

It's the misleading title of the thread you posted.

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Oh don't tell me ya'll fell for it, did ya? :laugh:

I knew it was fake before I even opened the thread because he spelled "breaking" wrong. But that's besides the point. Rules say you aren't supposed post unture articles, worse failing to idnetify that it's a fake. I'll cut ya some slack, skull, but hey, I don't make the rules here. ;)

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or, include a link if its from the Onion.

Local Woman Dies Of Lost Cell Phone

APALACHICOLA, FL—Catherine Polk, 24, died at a local Starbucks Monday afternoon, due to complications resulting from the tragic loss of her cell phone. "It was horrible—Cathy didn't have any of her numbers written down anywhere else, and she was waiting on a call about last-minute tickets for a concert," said best friend Melissa Barreth, who was with Polk when she first discovered that her Cingular V400 quad band/GSM cell phone was not in her purse. "We tried everything to find it, but in the end, there was nothing we could do." The coroner's report confirmed that Polk died of a sudden lack of wireless service.


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Skull, listen to the regulars on this one. A misleading title is funny and all, but when you read 50 or 100 of them a week they're just annoying. And if we let you do it, we have to let 50 or 100 other folks do it.

Hence, those rules and guidelines everyone's been talking about.


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