FightingIrishman Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 HEADLINE: "D.C. Police are "cracking" down on speeders. For the first offense, they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a second time, they give you two Nationals tickets.)" Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Washington Redskins. Q. What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common? A. They both can make 90,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard? A. Put up a goal post. Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado? A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there! Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring? A. Senior Citizen Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill? A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl? A. We may never find out in the 21st century. Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common? A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampEm Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 These jokes are all rehashed jokes about every bad sports team. It's too bad that the old Q"What does (insert crappy team name here) and Michael Jackson have in common?"A"They both wear one glove for no reason" joke only works in baseball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightingIrishman Posted October 22, 2009 Author Share Posted October 22, 2009 Yeah, I know.... just trying to lighten the mood around here.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gortiz Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Yeah, I know.... just trying to lighten the mood around here.... i mean, i guess this was in good fun but enough is enough. anyone feel like the bashing is getting out of control. sure bash snyder, but not THE REDSKINS. actually, this is brutal. this is what you should see on the boys or eagles board ...not here. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightingIrishman Posted October 22, 2009 Author Share Posted October 22, 2009 Well if you cannot laugh at this situation then you have real deep problems. Laughing at this whole debacle is keeping me sane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RememberOsaka Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 A man walked into a Skins bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog was wearing an Skins jersey and a Skins helmet. The bartender said, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begged him, "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will both be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relented and allowed them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game began with the Skins receiving the kickoff. They marched down the field, got stopped at about the 30, and kicked a field goal. With that the dog jumped up on the bar, and began walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender said, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do when the Skins score a touchdown?" The owner replied, "I don't know, I've only had him 4 years." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 A man walked into a Skins bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog was wearing an Skins jersey and a Skins helmet.The bartender said, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begged him, "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will both be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relented and allowed them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game began with the Skins receiving the kickoff. They marched down the field, got stopped at about the 30, and kicked a field goal. With that the dog jumped up on the bar, and began walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender said, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do when the Skins score a touchdown?" The owner replied, "I don't know, I've only had him 4 years." Ha that one made me chuckle! And I agree, gotta laugh about the negatives in life. Gotta take the ribbing from other fans in good spirits. Hopefully when we can dish it out, they take it that way as well. If you cant laugh about things like this, I feel bad for you really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destructis Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there! I'm going to hell, I laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIXX99 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 A man walked into a Skins bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog was wearing an Skins jersey and a Skins helmet.The bartender said, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begged him, "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will both be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relented and allowed them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game began with the Skins receiving the kickoff. They marched down the field, got stopped at about the 30, and kicked a field goal. With that the dog jumped up on the bar, and began walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender said, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do when the Skins score a touchdown?" The owner replied, "I don't know, I've only had him 4 years." That was good. :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Don't know if you've heard this one: Justice in Cleveland , Ohio Cleveland, OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cuyahoga County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Washington Redskins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone. --------------------------------------- We are the last refuge for the ones everybody else beats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killbox Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Terror alert! The Washington Redskins football practice was delayed nearly 3 hours yesterday after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Jim Zorn immediately suspended practice, and police and federal investigators/ hazmat were called in. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to these players was in fact the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.T.real,lights,out Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I like the one about the dog! Good one man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvtbred Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 SO did you post these on WTOP or did someone steal them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightingIrishman Posted October 22, 2009 Author Share Posted October 22, 2009 SO did you post these on WTOP or did someone steal them? Who gives a rip? If you must know mr nosey.... my father sent them to me from his workplace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MustangSteve Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 A man walked into a Skins bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog was wearing an Skins jersey and a Skins helmet.The bartender said, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begged him, "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will both be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relented and allowed them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game began with the Skins receiving the kickoff. They marched down the field, got stopped at about the 30, and kicked a field goal. With that the dog jumped up on the bar, and began walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender said, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do when the Skins score a touchdown?" The owner replied, "I don't know, I've only had him 4 years." :hysterical: Oh man this is getting bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MassSkinsFan Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Laughing about the situation helps me keep it medium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFK Lives Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I used to hear the dog one about the Jets or a struggling Nascar driver but still pretty funny. I think I like the goal line/terror alert one best so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskinzfan30 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Terror alert!The Washington Redskins football practice was delayed nearly 3 hours yesterday after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Jim Zorn immediately suspended practice, and police and federal investigators/ hazmat were called in. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to these players was in fact the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvtbred Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Who gives a rip? If you must know mr nosey.... my father sent them to me from his workplace. Touchy aren't we? Did you notice that I didn't say you stole then but that someone might have stolen them from you? Geez:doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightingIrishman Posted October 22, 2009 Author Share Posted October 22, 2009 Touchy aren't we? Did you notice that I didn't say you stole then but that someone might have stolen them from you?Geez:doh: Whatever mate .. it is all good. Why even respond? Gotta run .. Jason "Chapstick" Campbell is calling.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooool...E Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I laughed.....heck they are hilarious, but once the jokes surface that means rock bottom. Have a sense of humor guys.....enjoy HEADLINE: "D.C. Police are "cracking" down on speeders. For the first offense, they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a second time, they give you two Nationals tickets.)" Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Washington Redskins. Q. What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common? A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard? A. Put up a goal post. Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado? A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there! Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring? A. Senior Citizen Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill? A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl? A. We may never find out in the 21st century. Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common? A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrifNick21 Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 These are old...lol...i've bet they've been used for every team....twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zCommander Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 This is still on the second page. http://extremeskins.com/showthread.php?t=305415 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aszumilo Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Didn't somebody post these same jokes yesterday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooool...E Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 not a reply thread though...so they must have gone off the board fast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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